All Comments on 'Alien Mine Ch. 05b'

It's Great but the amount of sex is starting to overwhelm what promises to be an incredible story.

You have a great story to tell and you have a great start on it. But editing continues to be a major detraction. Your use of quotation marks, incorrect or missing words, and changing person (1st to 3rd or even changing characters) is really impacting your story. Critically reading our own work is very difficult, so don't do it. Get an editor. Listen to their feedback. As someone pointed out on an earlier chapter, this is pulling you down by at least 1 star on every chapter.

I was excited in more ways than one to see the sex start to change a bit. It was getting a little repetitive. The possibility of a new girl, particularly a mature woman, brings in a lot of erotic possibilities. It is definitely going to set up a challenge to Rhys's authority.

I also like that you have given the girls more character. They are more real, more relatable, and that makes them more erotic. And it also happens to make for a better story. I look forward to getting to know Leslie and seeing how she fits into the group.

I am a little curious about that card that got slipped into Leslie's pocket. Why didn't she find it yet?

Now, on to the next chapter!