All for a Cup of Coffee

I was utterly confused. This woman was acting like getting knocked up was a challenge, or that men weren't interested in a hot, big titted babe like her. I knew guys that would quite literally kill innocent children to have a chance with someone like her. I wouldn't because I'm not a monster, but my point still stands. Cherry was fucking smoking hot and getting a guy to plow her brains out should be as easy as saying please. Or simply 'yes'.

"Soooo... What the fuck? Did I end up on some lost island of all women or something? How can you go two weeks without seeing a guy?" I said with a rub of my forehead.

"Look, it sounds like you came from the Capital or some rich province where men walk the street every day. Hell, for all I know you might be one of the Queen's own consorts. But here in Scarborough, there are..." She stopped to think as she counted on her fingers, "Nine men and seven of them already live with a woman while the other two have a waiting list a mile long... And that's even if I could afford one of their weeklies. Like all men, they're goddamn expensive. Probably cost me two weeks profit from this place and I can't justify that."

I was getting more and more confused. I hadn't been this confused since I was in college and accidentally sat down in a calculus class instead of history of Asian culinary. I drained the last of my mug and pushed it away. My brain was starting to piece together ideas and thoughts into a picture I sure didn't like. What I was thinking just didn't seem possible though. How could it? I mean, a drunk night and then I wake up here? I think in some way I already knew the answer and had just been avoiding the question for fear of confirming what I didn't want to.

"Am I still on Earth?"

"No, the floor is made of wood. How hungover are you?"

The bottom fell completely out of my stomach.

*******

Two hours later, Cherry had spent the entire time answering my questions and explaining to me everything I didn't understand about this new world. I definitely was not on Earth anymore and the world I was in could've fit in quite well on Middle Earth. Apparently there was magic and dragons and not a spec of modern technology. I was clearly stranded here without a phone or even an inkling thought of how I got here. At least for now, it would be best if I just settled in to wait. I had a place to sleep and a woman who I could probably talk into letting me do some work around the place.

To that end, I asked question after question. I didn't understand all this shit about men and why it was so horrifying that I had gotten a vasectomy until she explained it.

Apparently men in this world were rare. Like ten to one or worse. Ninety percent of society was made up of women and the birth rate was abysmal. Because of that, men were rare and treasured commodities, never having to work or do anything for themselves when women quite literally fight over the chance to have one of them. Monogamy was also incredibly rare as it detracted from a man's natural responsibility to procreate as much as possible. To make that matter worse, and this one explained so much, men in this world could only get hard and impregnate a woman around once per week. They also didn't have any better fertility than my own world so it might take them multiple times just to get one to stick. I couldn't believe it. I could nut hourly or more without stop. Cherry didn't believe me at all and I considered trying to prove her wrong but other women started to filter into the High-Tail by that point. I had forgotten this was actually a business.

I turned my head to eye the women over my shoulder. I had expected more dog ears and tails like Cherry but got nothing of the sort. The first two had more pointed style ears with long feline tails of soft black fur. They each bore fine whiskers and they had paws instead of feet. Where Cherry was a dog woman, these were cat women. They also were not petite or curvy women. They were strong and rugged looking with scars showing on bare skin and hands that looked like they worked hard.

The third woman was radically different from them, her hair replaced with long golden brown plumage. Her arms were wrapped in long feathers so thick that they must've spread five to seven feet to either side of her if she held them out. From above the tight shorts she was wearing was a tail of long, fluffy brown feathers and from the knees down she had the legs and feet of a bird of prey. She could be nothing else but a harpy.

"Fuck! I haven't done hardly anything this morning! I haven't gotten started on breakfast." Cherry exclaimed, breaking me from my thoughts and ideas. She waved to the three women that had walked in as they sat down, "Breakfast is going to be a little late! I'm sorry. I'll get going on it right now."

I sighed and stood up, "Where's your menu? What do you normally offer?"

"Menu? No, no. This isn't some fancy kitchen. I just make a big breakfast and serve everyone that comes in." Cherry said, turning and hurrying into the kitchen.

Walking around the bar, I followed her into the kitchen and looked around with a scrutinizing eye. The place was as archaic as everything else. Wood burning stove. Brick ovens with a surprising amount of space. Open fire pit with a large iron kettle hung over it on chains. Everything but the fridge looked straight out of the American wild west. I nosed around, looking in cupboards, at jars, in various boxes and barrels, before opening the fridge. It looked like an industrial era ice box but it was inexplicably frosty cold inside. I couldn't see any physical ice or anything keep it cold. There was a few glowing symbols around the inside walls of it that radiated cold. Must've been that magic Cherry had mentioned. I grabbed out some fresh cheeses and meats and set them on the large heavy wooden table in the middle of the kitchen.

"What're you doing?" Cherry asked as she saw me perusing the utensils sitting in a box on the table's lower shelf.

"I'm going to cook breakfast. Get on out there and do whatever else you need to. What do you need for portions to start? Ten? Twenty?" I said simply as I lifted a wood handled knife. I gave it a deft spin and felt the weight of the old iron used for the blade. I had entire knife sets that weighed as much as this one knife. But if I can't make do with bad tools, I didn't deserve the good ones.

Cherry actually laughed at that. She watched as I grabbed the large basket of eggs on one shelf, they were all different sizes and colors. It was certainly more 'farmers market' kind of ingredients than I normally used. I selected a few large onions from a barrel near the back door and then added them to the table. Cherry shook her head and tried to take the knife from my hands, "This'll go faster if you just get out. I don't even know what you're trying to do here but just go sit down out there like the pretty man you are."

I held the knife out of her grasp and shook my head, "Told you, I'm a chef. I've done a hundred dishes an hour from a thirty piece menu before. A couple dozen omelettes won't even get me moving."

Before she could continue to argue, I grabbed an onion and started to dice it with a practiced hand. I spun and sliced it from another angle before mincing the pile and moving onto the next with such rapidity and accuracy that Cherry stared for a moment. She shook herself and stammered, "G-Gods, you aren't kidding. I don't know what you intend to cook, but I won't complain. Your hands are so fast..."

"Great. If you're going to hang out in here anyway, at least act the part of my sous chef and get the other ingredients prepared. Crack the eggs in a bowl and get them whipped. Add a little cream and make sure they're fluffed enough. Then get the cheese grated, and after that I want a side of fresh fruit to go with this. Oranges or peaches would be best, but apples or bananas can do. Do not try and serve grapes with my omelettes, the flavors clash terribly. Try and keep them in thin slices unless you only have bananas, in which case I want them halved and quartered into thin lengths." I fell quickly back into the natural step of my own kitchen. The onions were all sliced before I had finished speaking and I got a pan oiled and heating. This was my domain, what I felt so natural and comfortable with. No headache, hangover, or worldly concern could invade the calm and focus I felt when cooking.

Cherry was lost at first. I think she was just shocked that I was exactly as good of chef as I said I was. After a moment, she grabbed a bowl and started cracking eggs. I nodded and began finely slicing the cured meats I had pulled from the fridge. The oil in the pan took longer to heat on the wood fire than I would've liked but soon I added the onions and they began sizzling. As I was working on that and starting to quarter mushrooms, I saw Cherry staring uncertainly at the cheese. She looked up at me, "I don't have anything to grate this with."

"Then julienne it. I'll make do." I said as I stirred onions around and continued cutting mushrooms. It wasn't long before I got another pan heating and took up the bowl of whipped egg.

Cherry was staring at the cheese still, knife held uncertainly in her hand. She rubbed her forehead and admitted, "I don't know what that means."

"Fine slices cut into very thin strips. Hurry up, I'll need it soon." I snapped my fingers impatiently as the egg sizzled and I sprinkled onions and mushrooms into the omelette.

As that cooked, I put on a small pot and began boiling water, sugar, and cinnamon into a rich syrup. The sugar was dark and grainy, a very natural looking ingredient as opposed to the washed white sugar I was used to. So much of this was so unprocessed or unrefined. An organic vegan hippie would have an absolute hayday with all this shit.

Overall it went a little rough. I had to make do without most of the seasonings I normally used and almost none of the tools. The omelettes didn't fry as smoothly and cleanly in the heavy black iron as they would've in my own premium cookware. Certainly not Michelin quality in appearance, but they would taste damn good. But how could I call myself a chef if I couldn't make an omelette in these conditions?

The first went on a plate with a soft drizzle of a boiled tomato cream sauce and a few sprigs of herb leaf. Beside it, I organized a nice looking bowl of sliced apples with a gentle glaze of syrup. I gestured to it, "Order up." Then I went back and attended to the next omelette which was already cooking. I decided it would be best if I just did it all from there. Cherry clearly wasn't sous chef material, let alone even capable of being a line cook in my kitchen. How many customers could there be in a little place like this anyway? I could handle it all.

*******

We ran out of eggs a little more than an hour later. I had spent the entire time whipping out omelettes to an exuberant Cherry. Apparently word had spread a bit and the High-Tail was assaulted by hungry patrons following the ravings of the first ladies that had come in.

I barely considered it a brisk morning. I only made fifty four omelettes, as well as a batch of fried potatoes, and twenty extra bowls of sweet apples. All of this wasn't even crammed together either, the customers trickled in and out over hours and left me with time to spare in between plates. The kitchen was looking positively ransacked by the end of it but I was very happy. Honestly, such a simple dish all by myself felt invigorating and my hangover was all but eradicated. I'm so used to complex dishes for such a high brow clientele that this felt downright fun. Like I was playing chef in mom's kitchen as a kid again.

As I was sweeping and cleaning off the counters of the various messes I had made, Cherry came skipping into the kitchen. She grabbed my hand, pulled me around and swept me into a tight hug. Her lips pressed to mine in a kiss that was hot and tasted of sweet sugar. I could feel the fluffy expanse of her large breasts against my chest and she was not shy in her grasping hands on my ass. She felt warm and delightful against me. She broke it off after a second, keeping her hands clasped behind my back and said, "This has been the best morning I've had in months! Not only did I turn a wonderful profit, but I had a handsome and shockingly talented man doing all the cooking for me! A man! Cooked for me! It's like one of those midnight fantasies that leads to something more..."

"Did you want-" I started with a teasing smile.

"Oh gods yes, but I have a job to do. Tonight, handsome. We'll get to see how good you are with tongue and fingers. Now come on. They're demanding to know who I have hidden away back here doing all the cooking." Cherry smiled and poked my nose before spinning around. She marched for the door and her tail was wagging excitedly behind her. I shrugged and tossed aside my cleaning rag. Far from the first time a customer wanted to meet the chef, though it might be the first time I had it happen over an omelette and fruit breakfast.

I walked through the door and out into the main room again. The first thing I saw was the crowded room. Every seat or stool and was occupied. Cherry truly hadn't been lying about this world's populace. Probably close to thirty seats in the house and not a single one held someone of my own gender. That wasn't the part I found most interesting though. I felt like I was standing in some kind of anime or fantasy comic. More than half the women had the appearance, or some traits, of a great range of animals. Fox tails, reptile scales, finned ears, and even a plethora of different kinds of wings. One woman at the bar, I realized, was not sitting on a stool but instead reclined on a great coiling of her own serpentine lower half. The sight stole my breath and made me just stand there, staring dumbly for some time.

"This is Harrold, my new chef." Cherry said, gesturing excitedly to me. There was a strangely quiet moment and then the entire room erupted into cheers, shouts, and clamoring voices. Chairs scraped and tables bumped as the women charged the bar to get a better look at me. Much to their enjoyment, I was tall enough to look out over most of the gathered heads and all of them could easily see me. That's not to say they're all short or anything, in fact they looked taller than the average crowd. I was just that much taller than average.

"He's so handsome!" One said.

"I want him! I'll pay!" Another yelled.

"I've never seen a man so tall before!"

"Gods, he's so strong looking. I didn't know men could be so chiseled!"

I smiled nervously and had to resist the urge to step back from the bar. The long length of wood was the only thing keeping me from being surrounded and mobbed. Instead I waved, waiting for them to quiet, and said, "Glad you all enjoyed. I'll probably be cooking here for a while. Omelettes are not even close to the best I can do."

"Oh I'm sure there's lots better you can do." One particularly lecherous woman towards the front of the group said. She looked like a normal human until a tongue like a prehensile rope unfurled from her mouth. I watched her reach it down and play quite obscenely with one of her nipples. I said obscenely because she didn't slide it into her shirt, she pulled her shirt down and bared her breasts to give her tongue access. She wasn't as busty as Cherry, but honestly... When are boobs ever a bad thing?

She wasn't the only one acting like a slut so thirsty they could've just walked in from the Sahara. There probably wasn't a woman in the room staring me down that wasn't imagining me with my clothes off. God damn, was this what it was like for a hot chick when she walked in on ladies night at the bar? I could get used to it.

I smiled and blew the ravenous mob a playful kiss.

--- Chapter 2 : Pan Seared Steak ---

After escaping the rabid women, I went to clean the rest of the kitchen. It gave me a good chance to take stock of what Cherry had. Her utensils and equipment were worn and old. She had a simple list of ingredients and few seasonings or varieties. If I was going to be a chef here, I'd need to help expand upon that.

"Hey Cherry, are you low on stuff or is this your normal variety of stock? I didn't have a lot of options this morning." I asked from where I was digging through a box of a dozen or so onions. They were dark in color and some were starting to sprout. I dropped the one I was holding back in the box.

She stuck her head through the swinging door, "Yeah, I just went to the market last week. Nothing's missing but the eggs. You went through a week's worth, but at least it was good profit. I'll need to go to the market soon. Why?"

"Let me have that money you made and point me to the market. I can make you a lot more." I said as I walked back towards her and out to stand behind the bar. The place wasn't as full as it had been but there were still plenty of eyes to stare at me.

Cherry scratched at one of her perky canine ears, "I don't know... I made some extra but not enough to just give you all of it. I have to restock first and even then... I had some ideas for the profit already."

"Give me something to work with here and I'll show you another profitable meal." I promised. If I was going to keep working until I could figure out how I got here, and maybe how to get home, I wanted to do it right. I felt like I was cooking in a middle class kitchen more used to the microwave than even a crockpot. I needed to make something more exciting.

"Fine. Fine. Here. Ten gold. Should be able to get a good bit of meat or something with that." She said, digging a few coins out of a lockbox under the bar.

I looked at the small golden coins that she dropped in my hand. They had an elegant woman's profile stamped on one side and a coat of arms on the other. Judged roughly on the price of the breakfast being five silver, and assuming a conversion of ten to one from silver to gold, that much should be anywhere from a hundred to two hundred dollars. My guess was probably wrong because I didn't know whether Cherry was cheap or expensive for food. Back home, this handful of coin would be worth thousands on weight alone. Whatever the case, this probably wasn't enough to fund a day's stock in a kitchen. I'd have to be picky and get enough to cook dinner for Cherry and I. If I could wow her enough with one meal, she'd let me plan everything. I bounced them in my palm and said, "Which way to the market?"

She gave me directions and I headed for the door, stuffing the money in my pocket. This was the first time I left the High-Tail and I was curious what this town looked like. I also considered what to cook to really show off to Cherry.

Barely a few minutes down the road and I had come to the obvious conclusion: everything looked like I had been dropped into a Pirates of the Caribbean set. Scarborough was relatively clean in medieval terms, with roads of cobblestone and buildings made in a wide mix of wood, stone, and brick. The direction I walked wasn't bustling but it wasn't empty either. Women eyed me as I walked by and I'm pretty certain that, by the time I reached the market square in the middle of the town, I had an entourage of young girls and teens whispering and staring as they followed me. They flitted between buildings and behind others to try and avoid my glances.

Clothing was a bit of an interesting thing too. The base of it was what you'd expect: hand stitched cloth and a mix of rough brown leather. But that's where it went a bit sideways. Back at the tavern I thought they were just being horny, but the women I passed on have streets were often half dressed. I saw plenty of bare breasts and bodies only covered in little bits or strips of cloth. A couple were entirely nude, letting the light coats of fur they sported over much of their bodies keep them warm. I won't lie, I stared at quite a few. But I think they stared at me a whole lot more.