All Comments on 'All Good Things Must Come to an End'

Loved it, except for the part about Ray, of course! Anxious to see what depravity they get up to!!

awful

Marsha needs to move in with June and Mark. Mark can fuck both pussies.

"End of Chapter 1"

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Chapter numbers belong in the title so it's known it isn't a complete story BEFORE opening the fucking thing. Shit like this ALWAYS earns a rating of 1.

Interesting story with possibilities for the future... not bad for a 1st tale.

I'd uggest an editor to catch misspellings, like 'mussels' for 'muscles' and 'shuttered' for 'shuddered' and also to mark this as Chapter 1 at the beginning. The first clue about this being a multi-part story was halfway through when the note was made that they would never see the other couple again together.

LW critics can be tough, especially the anons, who will beat up a story & an author for things like that !

I think the story & author have some good possibilities, and I'll look for the next chapter to see where you take this.

Good luck !

Did june become jane? Pretty boring story so far.

That’s one cuck that won’t be swapping. Great ending for Ray.

To me, there is nothing worse than an author who can’t keep tract of names. It just ruins the flow of the read. June? Jane?

And like others stated, you could have hinted in the beginning that it was chapter 1 of a series.

I was really into this story. Then the incoming death totally turned me off. I stopped reading when I knew what was coming. Total buzz and boner killer.

This is trending towards BDSM. Mark will become the alpha male dom and June/Jane multiple personalities will discover her bi-side. Only mystery is will June be dom or sub. This chapter was medium spicy so there is potential. Marsha is established as a hot sex loving sub slut.

Where was the warning that this was a multipart story?

Oh I see it now...at the very end of part 1. I don't start reading at the end of a story, do you?

It has some possibilities. How many chapters will this story be? 4* right now.

Well, what a sad ending to this chapter. I am ok with a little bondage play and having her walk home naked. Too bad that there was no suspense with the naked walk. Marsha walks home and not much happens.