All the Wrong Choices

My cock was rock hard, straining to be released. Staring up at Nick, I knew he saw a messy guy with a mouth full of cum. I should have been ashamed. The filth in my mouth should have disgusted me. Instead I explored the bitter film with my tongue, wiping the excess from my lips. I basked in the nasty sensation. Nick simply looked back at me in awe, or perhaps admiration. He smiled. I saw his tongue move behind his teeth.

The smile widened.

It was all I needed to see. I swallowed. The ball of cum disappeared down my throat, though I kept swallowing over and over, never fully able to get rid of it all. My tongue, my teeth, my entire mouth still felt coated in a bitter film.

My mind was soaring. My body felt like it drifted along for the ride. I was still so hard. I wanted so much more. My eyes fell to the nodding cock in front of me. Its vigor clearly waned, but it looked so incredible still. I wanted it back in my mouth.

I reached for it, but Nick released my head and stuffed his dick back into his briefs before I could start again. I looked back up at him, silently pleading. After zipping himself up, he took me by the arm and pulled me to my feet.

We were face to face. Both of us were still breathing hard, our chests swelling toward the others. Mere inches separated our lips. I wanted to lunge, but I was fearful. Nick seemed finished. I didn't want to spoil anything. Instead I studied his bristled face, feeling small beneath his wintery gaze.

"I think someone is addicted" Nick said with a sly grin and a tip of his brow. "Just what I thought."

I blinked. Memories raced through my brain. I scanned them frantically.

"You... you knew?"

Nick shook his head. "No, not till today. You gave me a little suspicion to test out. Doesn't always go so well."

I looked at his lips, wishing.

"The text," I said.

Nick smiled wider. "Even after your little slip up, I didn't think you'd go for it."

We stared at one another. I was seeing Nick so differently now. He probably saw the same in me. I thought of what to say next, what I wanted to ask him. Clearly there was a lot more to Nick than I'd ever before thought. I was about to take a chance when the two of us heard the door to the apartment open.

I spun to see Britt entering.

The blood drained from my body. I furiously wiped at my mouth to clear away any wet evidence of what I'd done. I took several steps to put distance between Nick and I.

"Hey, guys," My sister called somewhat wearily.

Britt seemed oblivious as she set her things on the couch. Her eyes found the two of us in the kitchen. I waited for a look of confusion, or betrayal, or disgust.

Britt smiled and strolled into the kitchen to join us.

"Hey baby!" Britt said. She immediately greeted her boyfriend, sliding one arm behind his back and planting a kiss on his lips.

"You're home early," Nick said into her lips.

"I was trying to beat you here," Britt replied. "Guess we had the same idea."

The two shared a few more kisses staring into each other's eyes, leaving the rest unspoken.

I was petrified. Again I wiped at my mouth. In my mind I might as well have been painted with cum. My heart started to gallop, racing in circles in my chest. She'd know. Britt would know something was up. I pulled out my phone and tried to busy myself on the screen and took note of the time. If Britt had come in only a few moments earlier than she did....

I watched my sister offer several more affectionate pecks on Nick's lips. I saw her leg nestling between Nick's legs. Moments ago, I'd been there. I'd been right between those thighs with his dick in my mouth. The frightful uncertainty was sobering. Gone were the desires and the fantasies. Gone was the pure dick lust that had only seconds ago been so damn intoxicating.

Britt stepped away from her boyfriend and opened the refrigerator. She glanced at me as she did and gave me a little nod before reaching into the fridge.

"And how was your day, Evan?" She asked.

My jaw quivered as I tried to speak. The words were right there, but they were caught in something slimy in the back of my throat.

"Whole place is clean," I heard Nick say. "Look, man even did the dishes. That's worth something."

Britt sipped from the bottle of water in her hand then looked around the kitchen and out into the apartment. My eyes darted from Nick to my sister, still caught in a state of shock.

"Wow, I see that," Britt said turning a confused little smile toward me.

"Uh, laundry, too," I added. "Figured I'd... make use of myself, and... help out with things."

I tried not to look at Nick. I was already having trouble keeping my voice from wavering. Britt's eyebrows went up and she blinked slowly. A here smile grew a little wider.

"Color me impressed," Britt said.

She turned toward Nick, who quickly averted his smiling eyes from me.

"Babe, I just need to change over and stuff and we can go," Britt said. "I'd really like to leave a bit earlier than last week."

Nick slid a hand around her waist and squeezed her. I looked away.

"Do your thing," Nick told her. "I'll be waiting on the couch. I'm ready whenever you are."

He leaned to give Britt another kiss before stepping around me to leave the kitchen. I did not miss the look he gave me as he passed. I ignored Nick as best I could. I could still feel him on my lips, my chin, and my cheeks.

Britt stuffed her water bottle back into the fridge before turning to leave as well. She stopped short, right in front of me. I had no choice but to meet her gaze confidently. Her brown eyes searched my face. I prayed that she couldn't see my cheeks flushed with color, or heaven forbid, a droplet of cum somewhere on my face that I'd failed to wipe away.

"You okay, Evan?" She asked.

I nodded. "Fine."

Britt studied me. "Nick wasn't busting your balls again, was he?"

I swallowed hard. "Wouldn't have it any other way."

Britt sighed, but smiled.

"Look, you don't have to clean up around here or anything," Britt told me. "I was in a hurry this morning and I know I was acting like a bit of a bitch. I was actually being sarcastic about cleaning."

I shook my head. "Nah, don't... don't worry about it. I want to. Keeps me busy until I land a job, and I'm not even being charged rent."

My words came out lightning fast. I wanted the conversation over. I wanted to splash water over my face or hide in a closet... anything to avoid Britt's eyes.

"You don't have to pay me anything, Evan," Britt said with a reassuring smile. "And you don't have to feel like you owe me anything. You're my brother. And I know you're in a really fucked up spot after... losing your job."

I said nothing. I simply nodded and tried not to think about any of it.

"Just... ignore me if I start being a grouch," Britt said. "Focus on getting back on your feet."

"Uh, okay," I answered. "I will."

Britt started to move away, then to my horror, she put both hands on my arms and leaned in to kiss me on the cheek.

I was mortified. If I recoiled, she would know something was off. And after what she'd said, I couldn't. God, my face still felt so nasty. My sister stared back at me and paused. I didn't breathe. Britt chewed her lip a moment, apparently thinking. No way. There was no way she could suspect what I'd done only moments earlier.

"Would you wanna come with us tonight?" Britt asked. "I know you've been cooped up all day with no excitement."

I immediately shook my head. "You guys go. It's a date. I don't wanna get in the way or make things awkward by playing third wheel."

I winced at my words and the desperation in my voice.

Britt just shrugged. "Okay then."

She headed toward the hall. A huge breath blasted from my chest. I ran my fingers through my hair.

This day had gone from boring to unbelievable.

****

After Nick and my sister had left for the evening, I decided that I needed to keep myself engaged the rest of the night and get my mind off of all that had happened.

So, I played video games the entire night.

I thought that maybe doing something that required my focus, something that I could get drawn into, would make me forget everything.

It didn't.

The entire night all I could think of was Nick. More specifically, being on my knees gagging myself on his cock. I stared at a screen watching characters and settings rush by, but all I could see was Nick's bare crotch. I could still feel it all.

Each tiny thought or sensation stirred my own arousal. My dick would stand straight up in my sweat pants. A few times I found myself writhing on the couch, rubbing and stroking myself. I couldn't believe what I'd done, that I'd sucked off Nick in my sister's kitchen. I couldn't believe that he'd shot his load in my mouth. I'd never swallowed a guy's cum before. Earlier I'd gulped it down like a whore.

I thought of jerking myself off to get rid of the intense memories. I was still pent up with sexual energy. The incident in the kitchen was a one sided affair after all. I returned my attention to the TV screen and my controller. I knew that if I got myself off, it wouldn't erase the memories. In fact I was terrified that I'd have nothing more to cling to except for shame and guilt.

My sister's boyfriend.

I rubbed my eyes. The shame and guilt were still there. Britt had taken me in. She wasn't even charging me to stay. She was looking out for me, when I'd never given her any true reason to do so. I was always such a fuck up. Either my car was being repossessed, or my back account would run dry, or like now I'd lose my job. Britt would always help in some way, whatever way she could.

I'd sucked her boyfriend's cock.

I gave up on the games and turned everything off. For the longest time, I lay in the dark on the couch, covered with the thick blanket Britt had given me. I stared up at the ceiling and tried to make sense of it all.

The picture. Such a stupid little mistake. How was I supposed to know Nick was like that? How in the world could I have predicted he'd show up and pull his cock out? I scanned my memories searching for any sign I'd missed in the last few weeks. He never seemed like that before. The way he looked at me was so different today. That was the way he always looked at her, at my sister.

I sighed and rolled to face the couch cushions. It was my fault. There was no use assigning blame elsewhere or making excuses. Even wallowing in the dark in my own guilt, the simple thought of Nick's cock made me squirm.

At some point I finally fell asleep. When I awoke I realized immediately that it was not yet morning out. The apartment was still dark. Whatever had woken me wasn't apparent. I glanced around wearily before feeling around for my phone. I found it on the coffee table and brought the screen to life, seeing that it was just after midnight. I relaxed again. I thought of heading to the bathroom, but I didn't need to go. That wasn't what had woken me.

For a moment I lay there blinking in the dark. I could make out a surprising amount of detail in the little room thanks to a light outside in the apartment complex shining through the open blinds. I should have shut the blinds. The willpower was not in me to get up and do so.

Then I heard it.

It started faint. I held my breath and remained still, listening to the sounds in the apartment. The refrigerator was running. A few times I thought I was imagining things. The sound from somewhere in the apartment continued though. Soon, I realized what was happening.

My sister was moaning.

Britt and Nick must have come home. From the sound of it, they were down the hall in the bedroom with the door closed. Phantom sounds filled my head between the muffled moans of my sister. I imagined I could hear the bed rocking, or the slaps of flesh beating against flesh. Truthfully, that was probably in my head. The moans were not though. Britt got louder, and I could do nothing to keep myself from imagining the scene.

I wondered if they were completely naked, or under the covers, or even in the bed. My mind summoned the images of my sister's smooth body against my will. I pictured her spread wide around Nick. The thought of Nick's naked form made me shudder. I heard a few long drawn out moans and my imagination ran wild wondering what he was doing to her in that moment.

Part of me started to grow aroused. They were right down the hall, intertwined, fucking and panting and sweating. A bigger part of me felt horrible. I kept thinking of Nick, pumping himself into my sister. His cock had been in my mouth hours earlier. How could he do that? How could he get sucked off by a guy and then turn back around and fuck the guy's sister like nothing had ever happened?

I was trapped in a warm coat of shame under the blanket. Not even my own anger and annoyance could rid me of the despicable feeling I harbored for myself. What made it worse was that I could still feel myself getting hard listening to the sounds from the bedroom.

I tried to pile the covers around my head to muffle the moans of the lovers. It was no use. Britt grew louder by the minute. I hoped it would be over soon. Instead, the sounds went on and on. A few times Britt would cry out loudly before growing silent again. I swore it had ended, and then she would start gasping and moaning all over again.

At one point I checked my phone. It was closer to one in the morning than midnight. The two had been going for a while. I sighed and fell back into the couch. I debated on going for a drive just to get away from the sounds that stoked the flames of my burning guilt. I couldn't stop picturing Nick. I couldn't stop hearing my sister and wishing it was me. I couldn't stop cursing myself for even thinking something so vile.

After a while, the apartment grew silent again. I was left staring at the ceiling wide awake. The lovers were likely rolling over to sleep now. I tried to close my eyes and do the same. I just couldn't. Not only that, but I still couldn't shake any of my perverse thoughts.

Frustrated, I grabbed my phone again. Maybe if I found something to watch or something to read, weariness would set in. It usually worked. I browsed the mundane links on my phone staring like a zombie into the blue light. Much of the living room around me seemed darker than before.

I paused a video I'd started watching when I heard something from somewhere in the apartment. Not like before. The kitchen... it was the fridge. I heard a hissing sound. I tried to focus to make sense what I was hearing.

"You're awake?"

I nearly jumped out of the covers and out of my skin. My phone tumbled from my hand. My eyes finally settled on the figure looming above my head in the dark.

"Jesus, Nick," I gasped. "I didn't... you scared the shit outta me."

Nick passed the couch and moved toward the large recliner. As he did so, I noticed he wore only underwear. Given what time it was and what I'd just been forced to listen to, that made sense. But I'd never seen him that way.

"My bad," Nick snickered. "Wasn't trying to sneak."

His voice was hushed and low. Nick took a seat, leaning forward in the recliner with his forearms on his knees. I could see him fairly well in the light from the blinds. I saw that he had a beer in his hand, which was the source of the short hiss I'd heard. I also saw how the dim light glanced off his skin. It looked like Nick had just gotten out of the shower. I knew better. His hair was slicked back, but a few long strands fell in front of his face.. The curves of his shoulders and arms glistened. Nick was still covered in a thin coat of sweat.

I felt a nod of energy from below. I sat up and pulled the blanket around my waist to hide what was in my lap.

"What are you doing?" I asked him.

Nick shrugged and sipped the beer.

"Couldn't sleep," he said. "Saw you on your phone. Figured I'd chill a minute."

I scoffed and shook my head.

"You're not tired after... all that?" I said motioning toward the hall.

I could see him smile. "Sure. I'm exhausted. Just not sleepy yet. Hell of a night. The band we saw wasn't half bad. Some kinda new age stuff. Mix of pop and rock if you ask me."

I licked my dry lips and sat forward.

"How is any of this not awkward for you?" I hissed.

"What?" Nick asked. "You feel weird about blowing me in the kitchen?"

"Nick!"

He took another swig of his beer and patted the air with his hand.

"Relax, man," he told me. "She's passed out."

I shot a glance toward the hall as if to see my sister emerge that very second. I couldn't see if her bedroom door was shut. When I looked back at Nick, I could see him smirking.

"So, you're fine doing... what we did and still going out with her like nothing happened?"

"I dunno," Nick said. "Been seeing guys like you long before we got together. Apps and stuff like that. The occasional opportunity pops up when I'm out, and I don't let it pass me by."

I stared at the floor. I couldn't be sure what to feel. Nick seemed so cavalier about it. I wanted to be angry with him, but it didn't feel right since I shared the blame.

"What do you mean," I said. "Guys like me?"

"Someone who likes to have a little fun," he replied. "A guy that likes to suck cock."

The impact of the words sent goosebumps down my flesh. I glanced again toward the hall.

"Don't act like you didn't love it," Nick said sipping his beer. "I get it, there's bound to be some remorse and all that. But if it really makes you that uncomfortable, why did you drop to your knees in the first place?"

My mouth opened. I said nothing.

"And why did you suck it like there was crack inside of it?"

Nick was leaning forward, looking like a wolf on it's haunches about to pounce. The room seemed so much darker now. The more he talked, the more I realized how much more imposing than me he was.

"There's no hiding it, Evan," he went on. "You loved every second of it. And you weren't thinking about how wrong it was when you responded to my picture. Or when you swallowed and tried to go in for more."

I kept looking toward the hall. Nick's voice wasn't exactly a whisper, and all it would take was for Britt to walk to the bathroom. I couldn't think of a single thing to say to stop Nick from speaking... nor could I refute what he was saying.

"You'd do it all over again, I bet," Nick said. "If you could go back, you'd do the same thing. I've seen that look you gave me before. You can't resist it. Can you?"

I stared at Nick. I wanted to yell at him. I wanted to prove him wrong somehow, or dismantle his argument. His words were feeding something inside me, though. Dark fingers started tickling my insides yet again. I felt small and obedient. I felt throbbing next to my thigh. When I opened my mouth it was to try to let some of the building heat escape.

Nick stood up. He set his beer on the coffee table. My eyes fluttered over his body. Part of me felt like cowering away, fearful that he might come and take me. A darker part deep inside of me prayed he'd do just that.

Instead, Nick hooked his thumbs in his underwear and tugged them to his ankles.

I drew in a short rush of breath. Nick stepped out of his briefs. The finer details were lost in the dark, but I saw his cock jiggling between his legs. He fetched his beer and plopped back into the recliner. He leaned back with one arm behind his head and the bottom of the beer resting on his hairy naked thigh.

"Let's just see," Nick said. "Nothing stopping you."

I looked frantically toward the hall again. I tried to stare at the coffee table, the floor, the blinds. The gravity of Nick's body was too much though. My eyes kept shooting back to his sprawling form. His incredible torso was stretched and bared for me to admire. It suddenly made sense that Britt had met him at the gym. Nick's thighs were spread wide, hiding nothing, and leaving plenty of room between them. His bottom was pushed toward the edge of the cushion.