All Comments on 'AMA - The Boyfriend Ch. 161-170'

Hello Hello Hello!

This is your friendly reminder that all of my (that's me, BreaktheBar) Erotica is only possible through the support of my community over on PATREON. They've empowered me to become a full-time Erotica writer, and I release chapters for ALL of my series over there first and foremost! More than that, Patrons also get to vote in Polls that directly affect my series and what I write next. AND there is even Character Art that I've been commissioning dropping monthly for the gals of AMA: The Boyfriend!

You can get all of that, AND some Patreon-exclusive stories, at www.patreon.com/BreaktheBar

Cheers!

~Break.

When two characters are talking you don’t need to keep saying “I said” and “she said”. It’s irritating. Keep trying though, it’s all about practice.

Love the characters and the twists and turns in the plot. Can't wait for the next entry in the series! Thank you and keep up the good work.

Firstly, I've really been enjoying this story, I've also been reading "AMA - The Divorcee" and even took the plunge and read the original Affection Multiplier by Fantasy over on CYOA, even though I still don't like the format of that site. You can't see when each chapter was published or if the story is dead, which a lot seem to be. Anyway, getting back to the matter at hand, I like the story and it was a bit jarring to see you muck up your perspective in the first half of this 'chapter'/part/episode, switching between 1st and 2nd person. As an example, "...She suckled on my head more than anything with her mouth, but used her hands to stroke your shaft and softly massage your balls..." There were a few instances like this but not usually in the same sentence. At first I thought you'd maybe written it in 2nd person and were switching to 1st person and missed some occasions during the edit, but I checked over on CYOA and it's written the same. So it was a good read but the switches in perspective just broke my immersion.

I think I’ve said this before but every time I finish reading one of your chapters from all of your active stories, I think this is my favorite story, that is until I read another. I think that’s a testament to how good a story teller you are, thank you for another great addition.

Great story, just need to utilise an editor to avoid slipping out of 1st person pronouns ( I, me, my) and into 2nd person pronouns (you, your). Otherwise, a very engaging story!

Remarkable story. I'm glad your storytelling acknowledges this is going to produce some cognitive dissonance no matter what. It provides depth to the story as well as new opportunities.

This series has rapidly become my all-time favorite on Literotica. The moral complexity and not entirely consequence-free decisions coupled with a great cast of characters has hooked me thoroughly and waiting over a month between the last installment and this one was really rough.

This may be the first time that the App has been used within the story in a dubious-consent way. The woman cop had a perk bought for her that lowered her inhibitions to offering sex as an apology; even if she’s generally a horny person, that feels transactional and coerced at the very least. I personally would be troubled by this.

Also, sexual favors to not report police abuse is twisted too. This series of chapters is extremely morally twisted.

You’ve made a great story about a “mind control” app where everyone has been extremely conscientious about feelings and consent and attachment, and then you’ve thrown a curveball by re-instating the actual risks and powers of the App.

Well done, I can’t wait to read more.

Didn't love the cop bit, felt out of place with how the rest of the series is written. Otherwise an amazing story. Im really nitpicking if one chapter out of 200 isn't my cup of tea.

Yea, the cop bit was silly and the proofreading is off on this one, and seems to have been slipping in the last few chapters too.

I realize this was ERP or something, but those "you"s really throw off the flow something bad.

Can someone please remind me what is the agreement between terra and JC, or like in which chaps it was told.

Plz help

To the other anonymous user asking what Terra’s and JC’s deal had been: basically amounts to oral and butt stuff okay. Actual vaginal sex 100% off limits. It might have been any type of penetration stuff, but I think it was just vaginal. Since the two don’t typically do butt stuff I kinda interpreted this as a way to limit sex outside the couple in general.

As for my own thoughts…. Maaaaaan…. If it hadn’t been a cop I feel I’d be a bit less “fire his ass anyways!” Cops wield great power… and any abuse of that power should come swift repercussions. All he suffered was a hit to the head. His partner was the one who paid the price. I tend to hold cops to a higher standard cause…. Well they’re cops.

….maybe the cops ex (Madison???) will join the hat squad.

Though I am curious to see more use of the App. It’s a very….scary tool but also a pretty fun one too.

Love this series so far, the sex descriptions are great, and the politics keeps it all interesting.

What jars for me is that MC has been super ethical about thinking about other partners before hooking up with girls, but he's never once talked to JC about Terra. I feel he ought to be helping both of them be happier here, rather letting their relationship deteriorate.

Unless there's some App corruption element going on here that we know nothing about.

Speaking of corruption and the App, I was hoping for more MC elements in this story. It's all been a bit wimpy so far. I don't want Heather to become a better person, I want her put in her place. I hold out hopes for a moral decline as the story goes on!