AMA - The Divorcee: Day 14

CHAPTER 173.1

What happens next?

Early Riser

"ohshit-AAAAH!"

You hear Viv shout, making you and Tanya immediately sit upright after just having woken up from the screen. The two of you find Viv sitting on the floor of your bedroom, wincing in pain and rubbing her lower back; obviously having fallen from the bed.

"You alright, V?" Tanya asks her.

"I think you're going to need a bigger bed." Viv jokingly replies. Tanya offers her hand so that Viv can stand up from the floor.

"That or Tanya can get a smaller ass." Stella jokes, apparently having woken up from the noise too.

"Watch yourself, sweetie." Tanya playfully threatens her.

"I agree with Tanya, baby." You tell her.

"Well, I think that's a sign I'm going to have to sleep in my room instead." Viv announces.

"What? No. We can fit. We just have to—" You try to prevent her from leaving, as she starts gathering her clothes; but she interrupts you from continuing.

"I've hogged you the past two days already. It's fine. Your other girlfriends deserve the 'best sleep of their lives' too." Viv assures you, while calling back to Stella's comment from last night about sleeping next to you. Viv then gets dressed in a hurry, and you stand up from the bed to get dressed yourself, so you can walk Viv to her apartment.

"Does your phone have magic to make a hole in the wall?" Viv asks jokingly, pointing to the connecting wall between your two bedrooms. You still shake your head in response despite knowing it was a joke. "Figures." Viv says in disappointment. "Anyway, good night you guys." Viv adds, and your other girlfriends greet her a good night again, before the two of you leave the bedroom.

Once Viv opens her apartment door, she turns around to prevent you from entering with her.

"If you put one foot in this apartment, you are not leaving without fucking me. Hell, I might not even make you leave even if you do." Viv jokes.

"I'm not saying this because I've suddenly become selfless. I just have work tomorrow and I can't keep skipping when our grand opening is soon. So you lucked out tonight, Jay. Otherwise, I'd be pulling you in here myself." Viv adds. As sweet as the sentiment of Viv's statement, there's one part of it that you focus on.

"Jay? Have I graduated from 'Virgin' now?" You tease her.

"You were this close for me to start calling you a stud forever, and then you had to fuck me like a virgin again towards the end, so it evened itself out." Viv jokes.

"That's a relief. I wouldn't want to be called a stud in public either." You reply, getting a laugh out of Viv.

"So I can call you a stud in private?" Viv jokingly asks.

"I'd rather you call me Daddy in private." You jokingly answer back, getting a smile out of Viv.

"Confidence is a better look on you... Daddy." Viv tells you.

"So I've heard." You reply with a chuckle.

"Anyway~, you should go back to bed before your daughter starts wondering if I kidnapped her Daddy." Viv reminds you. "Good night, Jay."

"Good night, Viv. Love you." You greet her before giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"Love you too. Bye!"

You open your eyes and the girls are still asleep next to you. You look at your alarm clock and it says it's only around 4:30 in the morning, and you're fully awake. Your mind isn't even a little foggy like it usually is when you just woke up.

Right. You bought the 'Seldom Sleepy' trait.

You have more than a couple of hours to spare before you normally get up, so it's time to make the most of your extra time. You bought the trait by arguing 'time is money', right?

How the fuck should I spend this though?

You obviously didn't think this through.

In any case, you get up from bed, making sure you don't wake up your girlfriends as you do. You decide it's time to make the most of the combination of traits you bought, so a jog sounds like a good idea. You get dressed for a run, and head out of your apartment. Surprisingly, you're not the only one awake around this time, as you see someone familiar once you reach the stoop of your apartment.

"Hey, Brooke. You're up early." You greet her as she stretches on the sidewalk in front of your apartment.

Image: Brooke Taylor (Early Riser)

"Hey, Jay." Brooke greets you back. "I have to get back to my place before heading to the gym. I need to get back while I know Courtney's asleep so I don't have to deal with her just yet." Brooke explains. "What about you? Are you usually up this early?" Brooke asks.

"No, not usually. Although, I'm planning to be up around this time much more frequently in the future. Secretly exercise while the girls are asleep." You tell her, deciding to withhold telling her about the new traits you bought just yet.

"Look at you being motivated to get fit." Brooke reacts playfully. "I'm just going to jog back to my place, actually. You want to join me for a run?" Brooke invites you.

"I'd love to." You reply.

Brooke instructs you to stretch your legs first to warm up your muscles and avoid cramps later on. As she helps guide you in your stretches, Brooke starts making conversation about last night.

"So~, I heard you had fun last night." Brooke teasingly brings up.

"You and Viv already talked?" You ask, surprised that she already talked to someone about the festivities last night.

"Oh no, I literally heard you had fun last night." Brooke replies with a laugh. "Tanya wasn't kidding about probably needing ear plugs." Brooke jokes.

"Oh shit. Sorry! I hope we didn't keep you up!" You immediately apologize.

"It's all good! Don't worry. Like I said, Tanya directed me to the ear plugs just in case I'll need it. I think she and Viv hatched a plan yesterday." Brooke informs you.

"Oh? Here I thought Viv was just being a brat spontaneously." You reply.

"I think Viv's a brat naturally." Brooke replies, and you both get a good laugh out of it.

"Still, my apologies. You left your apartment so you can get away from a noisy roommate, and we cornered you into a situation with noisy neighbors instead." You apologize again.

"It wasn't actually bad. I slept like a log last night despite the noise. Maybe it's because I know the people I'm hearing fucking aren't doing it to intentionally annoy me, or it's because of your magic; but the noise didn't bother me at all." Brooke informs you.

"Is Courtney fucking guys to annoy you too? I thought she was doing it to spite Chad?" You ask.

"Pretty sure she partly blames me for some reason, or she's doing it so I'll relay to Chad that she's doing that to hurt him." Brooke explains.

"How is Chad, by the way? You mentioned he didn't go to the gym yesterday. Have you talked to him?" You ask her.

"He's talking to Brad about it. From what Brad told me, Chad's a little heartbroken since he thought Courtney already liked him and liked him enough that she wouldn't judge him for being a, quote-unquote— 'weirdo'." Brooke explains.

"What advice did Brad give him?" You ask.

"Give it time. Wait for Courtney to calm down and think about what it is she's actually doing. Brad said that if Courtney's angry enough to do this to spite Chad after only like... three days of dating? To Brad, it means Courtney has enough feelings for Chad that once cooler heads prevail, she might give him another shot at explaining himself and another shot at dating." Brooke shares with you.

"You think Brad's onto something?" You follow up.

"Nope. Knowing my roommate, she's just being crazy as usual." Brooke answers. She does take a deep sigh afterwards, realizing how dismissive she is of Courtney's feelings. "Okay. That was mean. I admit it." Brooke recants.

"Brad could be onto something, but they've also only been dating for less than a week. Chad doesn't have your magic, so normal rules apply to him. So if I'm a betting person, I'd bet whatever connection they had is superficial at best; and that Courtney and Chad will just go back into the dating app pool." Brooke explains.

"That kinda sucks for Chad. Especially since Courtney seems to be weirdly comfortable with the idea if that's her method of spiting him." You observe.

"Yeah, well, as much as I like Courtney when she's making sense; I can also feel relief for Chad since he's probably dodging a bullet with how crazy Courtney can be." Brooke admits. You can't help but laugh at her statement though, making Brooke ask you why you're laughing.

"Courtney's your Chad. At least, how I feel about Chad sometimes." You explain, and Brooke understands what you mean and laughs about it too.

"Well, at least you don't have to live with 'your Chad'... and also, technically, work with your Chad. How I'm still sane, I have no idea." Brooke jokes. "Anyway, should we get going? You warmed up enough?" Brooke asks you, and you nod.

You and Brooke do a light jog towards her gym. She's not going too fast since she says it's early enough, and she doesn't want you to tire too much since you have to make your way back to your apartment afterwards. Brooke's apartment isn't all that far from your place, and is actually just a couple of blocks away from her gym.

The two of you use the elevator to get to the seventh floor and Brooke leads you to her shared apartment with Courtney. As you make your way to their living room, someone from the kitchen grabs yours and Brooke's attention.

"Someone got busy last night, I see."

CHAPTER 174.1

What happens next?

Courtney

"Jesus! You startled me." Brooke reacts in surprise.

Image: Courtney Madison (Apartment Encounter)

"I did? Sorry about that. I didn't know it would be surprising to be in my own apartment." Courtney replies sarcastically.

"Don't start with me, Court. It's too early for that." Brooke tells Courtney, dead serious in tone. Courtney just takes a bite of an apple she was eating before you and Brooke came into the apartment.

"Speaking of early, what are you doing up?" Brooke asks Courtney.

"First, I can't be in my own apartment at this hour; now I can't be awake at this hour too?" Courtney continues to be sarcastic.

"Court!" Brooke shouts in annoyance.

"Ugh. Fine~. An alien's still in my bedroom and the dude snores like a motherfucker. Couldn't get back to sleep with how loud it is." Courtney finally answers.

"Have you tried waking him up?" Brooke asks.

"Oh no~. That didn't even cross my mind! I'm such a stupid bimbo!" Courtney goes back to being sarcastic immediately.

"See what I have to deal with?" Brooke asks you, not even hiding that she's talking about Courtney's attitude.

"Like you're a walk in the park with your 'woe is me, I'll never be more than a booty call' bullshit." Courtney retorts.

"Bitch." Brooke outright insults her.

"You know it." Courtney responds with a wicked smile, before emphasizing it with a loud crunchy bite on her apple. "So, you're part of this pimp's hoe train now?" Courtney nonchalantly changes the subject.

"Can you please stop calling him that?" Brooke replies, not even bothered by the sudden topic change from Courtney.

"Pimp. 'Love Coach'. Same difference." Courtney says, using air quotes on Love Coach.

"Good morning to you too, Courtney." You greet her passive-aggressively, not appreciating being called names in front of your face.

"G'Morning, Coach. How's your star pupil doing?" Courtney asks you with a little venom.

"I heard he's heartbroken." You answer honestly.

"HA! Heartbroken he can't watch me fuck other dudes while he jerks off in a corner maybe." Courtney replies.

"I actually haven't talked to him since that night at the gym, but I know he really likes you. I never talked to the guy and he went out of his way to ask me for advice to try and impress you on your date. The fact that you think he's a weirdo because of something he obviously can't control anymore, and isn't actually ashamed of, is probably why he's heartbroken." You reply to Courtney, trying to inform her that Chad likes her outside of wanting to get cucked by her.

"Jesus Christ. Write a novel with that bullshit." Courtney replies.

"Can you tone down the snarkiness for our guest, please? I know you're pissed, but I told him I'm actually friends with you, and you're making it extremely hard for him to believe that." Brooke requests from Courtney.

"Pissed? I'm not pissed. I'm not angry that a guy pretended to be sweet just because he wanted me to whore myself for his amusement. Not angry at that at all." Courtney retorts sarcastically.

Well... if she puts it like that. You can't help but see her point.

"Oh, so you're just going to whore yourself out for your own amusement then?" Brooke points out with her own brand of snarkiness.

"Yes. Proudly. I'm nobody's whore. I'm my own whore" Courtney replies.

"Yeah, right." Brooke sarcastically replies. "Like you don't moonlight as an escort." Brooke adds in a whisper.

"What'd you say?" Courtney reacts.

"I said you're a modern feminist icon." Brooke replies, even more sarcastically. Courtney takes it in stride and just chuckles, before changing the subject like Brooke didn't just tease and, maybe even borderline, insult her with her sarcasm.

"You want something to eat, bitch?" Courtney asks her.

"Yeah, can you throw me a yogurt cup?" Brooke asks, and Courtney opens the fridge to grab one.

"What about the Love Coach? Does he want anything?" Courtney asks.

"You want anything? Most of it's healthy shit though. Fair warning." Brooke asks you.

"We still have some baklava left if he wants some." Courtney reminds Brooke, before throwing her a strawberry yogurt cup.

"Oh yeah, he'll have that. Thanks." Brooke replies to Courtney. "Have you had baklava before?" Brooke asks you, and you shake your head in response. "You'll love it." Brooke assures you.

"Wait, what happened to the sarcasm and the snarkiness? Is that just how you guys talk to each other?" You ask in total confusion.

"Oh no~, we genuinely hate each other. I can't stand this bitch." Courtney replies, laying the sarcasm thick, while preparing you a plate of baklava.

"That's bitch for 'we used to hate each other so we learned to be passive aggressive until it became our love language." Brooke explains.

"Aww~, you made it sound like we're actually friends." Courtney replies, as she places the plate of baklava, and the knife she used to cut them, on the kitchen island. You thank her, and you and Brooke sit down in the bar stools for breakfast.

"So, is Love Coach as good as advertised?" Courtney asks Brooke.

"Advertised?" You ask in confusion.

"She's asking if we slept together." Brooke answers you first. "Also, we did not sleep together." Brooke answers Courtney.

"Bullshit. You just went out with an overnight bag and returned before dawn with him after doing what... watching Netflix?" Courtney questions.

"I went to Tanya's place to sleep in her apartment to avoid hearing you fuck that snoring alien you have in your bedroom." Brooke replies immediately.

"Defeats the purpose of me fucking that alien then. What a waste. He wasn't even that good." Courtney shares.

"What the hell's your endgame by doing this anyway? Why do you need me to hear your exaggerated pornstar moans? Is it because you think I'll tell Chad and he'll... what? What's the point of this?" Brooke asks Courtney seriously.

"You think I'm doing this for Chad? Bitch, please." Courtney retorts.

"Oh? So you just suddenly grabbed one of our members to fuck right after finding out Chad was a cuck? No correlation between those two things at all?" Brooke asks, obviously disbelieving Courtney's retort.

"You just suddenly wanted to be extra loud and exaggerate your moans, just so I can hear you fucking a dude you obviously didn't find enjoyable at all." Brooke continues.

"I didn't say that. I said he wasn't that good." Courtney corrects Brooke.

"Same difference." Brooke immediately retorts. "Face it. You're doing all this because you think Chad thinks you're an easy slut he can whore around to his friends." Brooke points out to her.

"I don't just think he thinks that. I KNOW he thinks that. Ask the Love Coach over here. I bet he hasn't told you that Chad wants me to fuck your boyfriend while he watches." Courtney tells Brooke, before pointing at you dramatically.

"WHAT!?" You and Brooke react in unison.

"Chad didn't fucking tell me any of that, I swear!" You tell Courtney defensively.

"What happened?" A guy from one of the rooms pops out.

"Oh good, you're finally awake." Courtney reacts with a smile upon seeing the guy. "Get the fuck outta my house." Courtney adds with a straight face.

"Geez. I'm on my way out. Relax. I'm just looking for my shoes." the guy replies.

"I'll mail 'em to you if I find them. Now, get the fuck out, alien!" Courtney shouts at him.

"Those are 'Igloo' Jordan 1s. I'm not leaving until I fucking —" the guy tried to argue, before Courtney shouts over him.

"OUT!" Courtney shouts at him, while grabbing the knife she used to cut the baklava threateningly.

"Fuck it. I'll be back for those shoes later. You're lucky I have spare shoes in my car. Psycho bitch." the guy says before walking towards the door.

"Keep walking, hypebeast!" Courtney shouts back.

"By the way, it's pronounced 'Allen' not alien, you dumb bitch." the guy, who's apparently named Allen, shouts as he opens the door.

"Are we sharing information that we didn't ask for now? Here's my unsolicited contribution — you need a sleep apnea machine, needledick!" Courtney shouts, as she follows him to make sure he left the apartment. You hear a loud slam of the door and assume that 'Allen' finally left. Courtney walks back from their front door, but instead of returning to the kitchen with you and Brooke, she goes to a different room.

"Why are you going into my room?" Brooke shouts to Courtney, who returns a few seconds later carrying a pair of Jordan 1s.

"You fucking didn't!" Brooke reacts.

"This is like my share for this month's rent. You know how much these shoes cost?" Courtney replies.

"If that dude comes back here for those shoes with a bunch of his friends..." Brooke points out to Courtney.

"He'll do what? Karate me to death?" Courtney asks smugly.

"That dude was obviously Chinese. So he'd technically kung fu you to death." Brooke responds.

"So? Chinese people can learn karate too, racist." Courtney argues, and Brooke wants to argue that point, but she stops herself mid-breath as she knows Courtney's technically right. You can't help but stifle a laugh at their argument though.

"Whatever! That fucking alien derailed our conversation!" Brooke reacts in defeat.

"Speaking of, I hope these aren't fake." Courtney adds in realization, completely disregarding Brooke's reaction.

"Chad said he wanted Jay to sleep with you while he watched?" Brooke goes back to the original topic, before the alien interrupted your conversation.

"Oh? Boyfriend didn't tell you that little detail, huh? Should I go out and buy cookie dough ice cream already or..." Courtney teases Brooke.

"Chad didn't tell me that plan either." You inform Courtney.

"Oh please! That sweet doofus probably doesn't make a move without his Love Coach's approval. You two probably had all of this planned out from the beginning. You just miscalculated when you didn't know I was your girlfriend's roommate... or one of your girlfriends, I mean." Courtney says accusingly.

"You told him to go to a Vietnamese restaurant with all the vegan options because he told you I was vegan, instead of that shitty French restaurant that dirty old men take escorts to. You told him not to sleep with me on the first date. You told him to invite me to watch Netflix at his place, and actually just watch Netflix to make him seem like he seriously wanted something more with me than just sex. You told him to introduce me to his brother to fool me into thinking that he's already comfortable with me meeting his family after the third date and shit. All for what? So I can think he's a decent guy and after a few months of dating I'll be so in love with him that I'll be fine getting railed by his bros. Fuck that." Courtney accuses you some more.