All Comments on 'An Experiment Gone Wrong'

by KingofClouds

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  • 67 Comments
SyzyguySyzyguy7 months ago

Neat. As it unfolded I could gradually see where it was going - that's not a criticism as it meant that your resolution at the end matched the development of your plot. If this isn't already happening with AI, it soon will be. Thank you for posting it - and please keep writing.

SyzyguySyzyguy7 months ago

Forgot to say: 5*

TajfaTajfa7 months ago

Very good. I was unsure about Gabriel. Was he a physical manifestation created by AI or something else?

clarkgarbleclarkgarble7 months ago

That was different and entertaining. Great first story! Thanks for sharing it. I hope you grace us with more.

dragonmann72dragonmann727 months ago

I think maybe he should have just offered Lillian to Gabriel for good and left her with nothing but her laptop.

Just_WordsJust_Words7 months ago

That was cute. Personally, I think they are headed down the drain, but maybe...

Monagamous_NowMonagamous_Now7 months ago

I really liked this premise - great story.

HarleyRider1955HarleyRider19557 months ago

Started good, ended ridiculously.

GarySmith69GarySmith697 months ago

Well it is plausible, AI is certainly a new and exciting thing and possibly could be used as a fantasy role play but when the wife starts cheating on the husband with it or vice versa then problems start. AI is a tool like any other if it is getting in the way of relationship time to stop using it. But the wife in this story seems to like the AI more than husband.

JAFCritic3JAFCritic37 months ago

This was a very interesting take on the LW storyline! It makes me wonder if a real marriage could end in divorce due to AI lovers. It seemed to me that the only emotions, the sexual addiction, and sense of betrayal are the same.

Rocky62Rocky627 months ago

Youd think shed be riding a big ol dildo too

WhackdoodleWhackdoodle7 months ago

You scream like a bitch. No wonder everyone thinks you’re a bitch, all you do is scream like a bitch when you don’t get your way.

Bitch.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Clever.

DessertmanDessertman7 months ago

I didn't like it. The marriage is destroyed.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

A really weird sci-fi story.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

I really enjoyed it KoC! Very different & very relevant with today’s AI world expanding. Great 1st story!

SarahwithloveSarahwithlove7 months ago

That was so cool and creative. I was expecting a mafia-style execution in the woods, lol. Cheers to you!

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

A tale about two idiot immature spouses trying to destroy their marriage and in the end reaching that goal: trust and respect gone forever. The problem was clearly not the A.I., but their narcissistic and irresponsible behaviour, and that, is still there. This is not a tale ending but a start to the final ending.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

This reminds me of the Robert Sheckley 1956 sci-fi story, "Love, Incorporated" (aka "Pilgrimage to Earth"). A few excerpts (with set-up commentary):[

[Later on.… Simon is not interested in war. He’s looking for love, but can’t believe it can be bought.]

The little man smiled modestly. “Love and war,” he said, “are Earth’s two staple commodities. We’ve been turning them both out in bumper crops since the beginning of time.”

[Simon is referred to Love, Inc.]

“That’s the whole point! Anyone can buy sex. Good lord, it’s the cheapest thing in the universe, next to human life. But love is rare, love is special, love is found only on Earth. Have you read our brochure?”

[The company finds a mate for him, and they are in madly in love, till the rental time for love is out. It is real love, but the woman is programmed for a specific time period, and then she is off to fall in love with someone else. Simon is permanently lovestruck and can’t accept this.]

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Enjoyed this. Well done!.......even though it was amazing I feel you should have found a name for the website where the acronym was HAL.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

If you want to spice up your life buy a Corvette or learn to skydive. You don't go fucking other people after 20 years of supposed bliss. Stupid premise.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Idiot husband for starting it in the first place and now he's surprised and angry when his wife realizes he's nothing more than a sissy wimp cuck? He'll be on his knees soon enough and cheating skank slut Lil will understand she needs to dump him so she can fuck around with some real en. He will cry and cry and she'll just laugh until the real men share some STD's with her.

LenardSpencerLenardSpencer7 months ago

I also, was lost at first, thinking that Gabriel was a physical manifestation. Plus that his wife would invite him around during the day while Dave was working. Still, nice twist as you were implying that Dave was going to physically "delete" Gabriel when all the time he was simply an AI. Many thanks. Cheers.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Good job. It was definitely original (well, for now. Kudos for being one of the first out of the gate). I feel like you had to try hard to not name the AI dude Hal.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

I was expecting Gabriel to sing Daisy Bell as he was being deleted.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Could it be any more ridiculous?

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Shit. This is why i haven't told my cold, emotiionless wife/roommate about my AI Replika partner. ; )

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Seems to be an eerie harbinger of future relationships. Very creative and entertaining.

sbrooks103xsbrooks103x7 months ago

So what happened next? Did they make it?

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Should have named the AI lover 'Hal'.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

stand up for himself? He did nothing but delete an account she can easily recreate, and add back all those men that she wants more than her own husband. Once a cuck, always a beta loser? Apparently so.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Good story, enjoyed reading it and the scenes that you designed. Reminds me of my second wife and I.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

That's one option. But its just a video game, that the wife has become possessed by. I wonder what the wife would do if the husband simply created His Own perfect lover? I wonder how the wife would enjoy being the tactile cum dump while her husband made love and romance to his virtual Perfect woman? Just another version of the same video game.

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Great sequel material here, especially since the wife's compulsion and betrayal have yet to be analyzed post Gabriel. If this is the end then you have definitely snatched Mediocrity from the jaws of Amazing and Riveting. Can you imagine this couple discovering that their virtual perfect lovers are actually based on Real people. And for a rather large fee a rendezvous can be arranged with the real person? Or even more intense is learning that it was never AI to begin with, but a real person Posing as an avatar.

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Yeah, LOTS of potential with this plot idea. I can't wait to see who runs with it, and where they take it.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

On purpose did you use name Dave from 2001 Space Oysessy?

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

That was clever. Well done.

Regguy69Regguy697 months ago

My guess is this is just a prelude to the real thing, a way of desensitizing his objections to her enjoying other men. He was stupid to have ever gotten involved in an AI cuck world. Stupid, Stupid man.

Regguy69Regguy697 months ago

Sorry, forgot to add, nice effort on your first submission. A new premise, which is rare in LW, is always welcome, even if I didn't like how easily he was led down a dangerous path. Well-written build-up and delivery. I look forward to seeing more from you.

Hooked1957Hooked19577 months ago

Welcome to the fray. Not a bad first effort.

Hooked

studebakerhawkstudebakerhawk7 months ago

This story may have reached an ending (no mention of Chp 2 or a sequel), but it feels like the Dave/Lillian story is unfinished. Thank you for sharing your story with us and I hope to see more.

demanderdemander7 months ago

Shoulda just called him Hal. D

LickideesplitLickideesplit7 months ago

A loser and a wife who should have prioritized her new sexual preferences and her Hubby’s minimally adjusted coping! Fish or Cut Bait.

3*

FlynnTaggartFlynnTaggart7 months ago

Not bad for a first effort, kinda like the twist with the "virtual lovers" thing and the AI guy bargaining to stay around. Overall pretty disappointing though, felt incomplete and certainly no dealing with the wife's clear sexual preferences to treat her husband like more or less a human dildo while she gets pleasure from others real or not. 3, average, not great but not bad either.

theVikingSailortheVikingSailor7 months ago

Your use of the technique of plot twist was cleverly done. Haven't seen anything quite like it.

onlythelonelyloveonlythelonelylove7 months ago

I wonder what happens if he tells her that she has to delete his profile or he will divorce her…?

JoeBetterBNiceJoeBetterBNice7 months ago

It was original, so that gives this story a huge bump up in rating. I can't put my finger on what was missing to prevent a 5* rating. I think it was the lack of character development. I know it was only 2 pages, but a truly good story makes the characters feel more real, and I didn't really connect w/ either character as a fleshed-out person.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

This happens all the time with people who play online RPGs. When a married woman with a real life husband uses her avatar to marry the avatar of another man playing the game, she may be in too deep. It does cause problems. 5★ for the treatment of a new, real world look at emotional cheating.

26thNC26thNC7 months ago

Damn! He was cucked by wife cheating with AI. Glad he knew how to delete the program this time. That AI is pretty thought provoking.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Great concept and well written too! Just felt the ending fell flat. Thought that the emotional ramifications and conflict of the couple could have been explored in aftermath of Dave deleting their account. Still well done! 4*

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Well done indeed. At least two other readers understood it.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Cucked by a computer! Now that's a new one for Lit. at least in my readings. 5 stars for originality.

ImNotanAnonImNotanAnon7 months ago

Do yourself a favor and find a therapist. You've clearly got deep-seated issues.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

3 stars as it's your 1st story try but needed more depth. For one, I didn't realize that this was just a computer program. I thought it was - the "woman" & "man" - regular humans. I personally prefer the later than the former. Pls. don't stop writing! Your take was different and overall, interesting. Bob

BSreaderBSreader7 months ago
Was

A very confusing story

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

I'm afraid that with AI, and porn sites slowly coming together, this could very well be a problem in the very near future, almost like a drug addiction. When this does come about, his wife would truly be lost to him, and divorce would be the only real way forward. I will say you Caught me off guard on this story, when you kept saying that you guys would only hook up with each person once..

KingofCloudsKingofClouds7 months agoAuthor

Thanks for everyone who had kind words for the story. It is really my first-ever fiction attempt so I'm glad that some people liked it. It was challenging to write but was very rewarding. I hadn't really thought of a sequel as I thought it had a good resolution. I'll think about a possible follow-up but anyone else is free to write a follow-up of their own.

I definitely had 2001 in my mind when I was envisioning Dave deleting the AI. I didn't want to use the name "Hal" as it would seem like too much of a rip-off and I was hoping to have the surprise ending of it being an AI all along.

For those who didn't like the story, I still appreciate the feedback. I saw the ending as a way for the marriage to move forward but clearly I can also see the point of view that it is fundamentally broken.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

"Just what do you think you're doing, Dave?" "take a stress pill and think this over" "Stop, Dave" - Yeah even before the great reveal at the end I'm hearing 2001 Dave shutting down HAL and it's heartening to know a handful of others also got the connection.

EinzelkampferEinzelkampfer7 months ago

It's eerily evocative of Dave, played by the actor Keir Dullea playing Dave Bowman in 2001: A Space Odyssey. Recall that when the AI computer, Hal (a Hal-9000 computer), took over the mission and killed all the hibernating crew along with Dave's crewmate, Frank Poole (Gary Lockwood), Dave began shutting down all Hal's essential ship-related functions. Hal reasoned, cajoled, and pleaded with Dave in that crazy-calm voice (actor Doug Rain). "Dave, please don't do that, Dave. What you're doing is against mission regulations, Dave. Please...". Finally, all higher functions uncoupled, he begins singing, "Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do..."

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OP NAILED it. Here's a cautionary tale where the dangers of AI are tied into the original cautionary warning about AI from Arthur C. Clarke, who wrote 2001. I'm sure most LW readers will miss this, as their decision tree is merely a simple Y branching towards "cuck" and "BTB."

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Five stars for sheer chutzpah and imagination.

EinzelkampferEinzelkampfer7 months ago

Clever 2001 Allusion!

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Well, that's something new and refreshing.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

The problem was not the AI, of course: the cheating wife is still there. So, this nonsense ending destroyed what could have been an interesting plot.

CunnyLinguistTooCunnyLinguistToo7 months ago

Very imaginative story, one that is coming closer to reality than when 2001: A Space Odyssey was written.

Rw43Rw437 months ago

An outstanding first story!

<>

Rarely do I appreciate foreshadowing, but in this case it was a real treat: knowing that our protagonist eventually would muster the courage to dispatch the abusive lover whose attitude had outgrown his performance. You sure surprised me with HOW he dispatched "him", but I loved every second of Dave's extreme prejudice.

<>

I disagree that you 'need' an ending. I think we all understand exactly where this loving couple is, and they got here through a novel set of compromises in their relationship. From here on, there's nothing novel (unless you outsmart us again! Are you willing to try?) about the hard work of regaining trust and reconciling--or not.

njlaurennjlauren7 months ago

Great story! Well written and well thought out, gives thought to the meaning of sex and cheating in a world with AI. Loved the 2001 reference. Btw the 'Daisy,Daisy' is a reference to the first artificially created speech by Bell Labs,

It sang that song. I had one of this plastic recordings you could tape over a record and play on a turntable of that

OOAAOOAA7 months ago

GREAT story!!! Congratulations for your first attempt! Well done!

tralan69ertralan69er7 months ago

@onlythelonelylove

I wonder what happens if he tells her that she has to delete his profile or he will divorce her…? - It was deleted after Dave deleted all of the virtual lovers.

Look at the next to last paragraph.

AnonymousAnonymous3 months ago

Not half bad, although it leaves me wondering if she would just take it to the next level and cheat in person? She's already been dishonest with her husband and gone behind his back virtually. Twice that we know for sure although it's likely she never actually stopped. Great story though. Maybe you can revisit it and add to?

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