And What a Time It Was

Sarah message to say she would be staying with her family for a few days more. One of the relatives was quite old, so they were treating this as the last Christmas together. I rattled around alone for a day, walking by the sea, watching the dark sky brooding over the crashing waves, no one else around and I messed about with an old camera I had been toying with, using some black and white film as an experiment. There was a big photo scene in town and I had got interested and the sea was a great model.

The phone rang the next day and I reached for it, not even looking, knowing it would be Sarah.

"Hey." The voice threw me for a second. "Is there any chance I can come and stay for a couple of days?" I knew the voice, but it was odd, miles away, the usual lilt gone and a cold edge there.

"Kate?"

"Yeah. Is it. I know it's..." there was a deep breath and I heard the rasp as she held back her emotions, "I need somewhere."

"What about Suze?"

"No. No, it's too close." she mumbled and I had no idea what she meant. "Really, I have nowhere. Please." I stayed quiet, oscillating between furious and worried sick. "Please." her voice cracked and I knew she was crying.

"Where are you?" i wanted to run to her now.

"At the station." she mumbled.

"What station?" I was walking to get my coat.

"London. There is a train in five minutes."

"Get on it." I said and I heard her sob as she mumbled a 'thanks' and ran to get the train.

I waited at the station, heading there a few minutes after the call had ended, but returning home as I realised I had very little shopping for a guest. The train arrived and I scanned the people getting off. It wasn't very busy, but my heart sank as she wasn't there and the anger started to rise.

"Hey." she said quietly and suddenly she was next to me.

She looked terrible. Beautiful still, yes, but her face was red and blotchy from crying. She wore no makeup, which wasn't unusual for her, but she was also pale now, her features flat, her entire being seemingly lifeless. Her hair was pulled back, but badly and she was wearing a baseball cap, which did her no favours, except to hide her.

"Hey." I replied and she fell against me as her bag clattered to the floor.

I almost had to carry her home, she had hooked her arm in mine, but she was having trouble standing and walking, she seemed broken now, but kept protesting that she was fine. I sat her on the sofa and took her shoes off and she slumped sideways, so I went to get a blanket and she was asleep in the two minutes it took to bring it. I made some coffee and placed the mug on the table near her, maybe it was the smell, or my movements that made her open her eyes and stare at me, taking a few seconds to register and they returned to normal from their wide state and she smiled at me. "Thank you" she mumbled and sat up, clutching the mug in her hands like her life depended on it.

"What happened?" I said, quietly, sitting in a chair to give her room and she looked at me and bit her lower lip.

"Not yet, is that ok?" and I nodded. She smiled and then patted the sofa next to her. "You're too far away." she whispered.

I sat next to her, still wanting to give her room, but she nestled against me and rubbed her face on my shoulder, mumbling "Thank you." every few minutes.

"Would you like something to eat?"

"Not yet, I still feel..." she gulped as if the bile had risen in her throat.

Kate drank her coffee and some colour returned to her face, but no words were spoken. "I was reading the book on the train home." I said and she smiled at me, a faint glimmer in her eyes. "Thank you for that, it was a lovely present." and she smiled and I am sure I heard a little chuckle.

"Great minds." she mumbled and pressed harder to me.

"I'm going to make some pasta." I said a while later, Kate had dropped off again for a little while, her body twitching as she slept, fingers clawing at her demons. I had offered to put her to bed, but her eyes had gone wide again and she she said 'no' in no uncertain terms.

She took my hand and I led Kate to the kitchen and served up the pasta. It was penne with broccoli and peas in a cheese sauce. It was simple and her smile was wide as I spooned it onto her plate and she put her face over the steam and inhaled.

"Smells great." she said quietly. Everything was quiet with her now, as if even her talking loudly would scare her. She kept looking up at me as we ate and her plate was clean quickly and she gave a little laugh as she looked at it. "Guess I was hungry." she said. I offered her more and she smiled and then scoffed it down.

I was just putting the last forkful into my mouth when she spoke.

"He came back." Her eyes were cold again now. I knew who she meant. I didn't say anything, giving her room. "Not long after mum returned, he drove up in his car." I wanted to hold her, to soothe the trembles now going through her. "He didn't know I was there, so I hid as they argued. He was threatening her. Shouting and swearing. He blamed her again and said he would get her back. I was terrified. Mum said I wasn't home, she always protected me from him. He kept shouting and then he left as a neighbour came by as there was so much noise. I packed a bag and was out of there and heading to you. Then I realised you might not want to see me." She looked up and now I couldn't just sit there and I wrapped her in my arms as she shook and wailed in anguish.

I helped her into bed and she was out like a light, emotionally and physically empty. I washed up from dinner and sat on the sofa for a while, trying to image the terror going through her. She didn't tell everything, but I had fears now. I walked to her room and her eyes opened as I moved beside the bed. She flipped the duvet up, "Please." she whispered and I climbed in next to her and she sobbed onto my chest for twenty minutes or so.

Kate was draped over me and I eased her arm off and slipped out of the bed. She stirred and opened her eyes a little.

"Loo." I said quietly.

"Oh, Ok. Will you come back?" I nodded and she smiled and closed her eyes. She was deep asleep when I returned, so I grabbed a little chair from the living room and sat next to her until I drifted away and woke as I almost fell sideways off of it. Kate was still gone, so I crept away and into my own bed.

My mind span, but I was drifting away, also emotionally drained now, but a little knocking sound shook me.

"Yes?" I said, not actually sure what I was hearing. The door opened a fraction.

"Can I come in?" Kate whispered, her voice as broken as her soul.

"Yes." I replied without even thinking and her head peered around the door and there was the smallest of smiles. She shuffled in nervously. She had taken some of her clothes off and had attempted to put on something more suitable for sleeping, so instead of her jeans, she had on her walking trousers and a baggy t-shirt billowed over her top half. She crept in and I moved across the bed and lifted the duvet and she slid beside me.

"Did you pack pyjamas?" there was a soft giggle.

"No. I didn't really think."

"Ok. hold on." I got up and went to the wardrobe and pulled a spare pair of pyjama bottoms out and handed them to her. She stood as I got back into bed and she stared at me.

"Don't look." she said and I turned away and heard the sound of the zip lowering and the swoosh as she slid the trousers off. A moment later and she got back into bed.

"Do you need anything else?" I asked as I heard her sigh.

"A hug would be great," she said softly and I turned and she backed into me as I wrapped an arm around her. She was asleep in seconds as I listened to her breathing and felt her warmth in my bed and the gentle rhythm of her breath lulled me off.

Kate was still asleep when I woke and I moved away and tucked the duvet around her. We had slept together, but only slept. I went to make coffee and saw a message from Suzy on the phone. "Is she there?" and I felt the chills sweep over me. I closed the kitchen door and called her.

"What's going on?" she barked at me as soon as she answered. "Her dad showed up last night, ranting and raving, demanding to see her.. He was pretty angry, but then dad came to the door and he backed off and went away with his tail between his legs."

I gave Suzy a brief rundown of the previous day and there was a big sigh. "Don't do anything, please" she said. "This is fucked up enough."

"Did you tell her dad where I lived?" A sudden shot of panic went through me.

"Are you fucking insane?" she laughed. "Like I'd hand over my best friend and big brother to that psycho." I assumed Kate had told Suzy some of the story, but didn't know how much. "I told mum and dad not to talk to him or tell him anything too. Dad was fucking fuming. You know, calm, sweet, gentle dad!" I chuckled at that, our father was a very quiet man who would never raise his voice unless we had done something really bad. So far, neither of us had burned the house down, so had never heard him shout at us.

"When is Sarah back?" Suzy asked and more panic went through me. Oh fuck, she was due back any day. Not only that, but I hadn't messaged her since last night. Suzy listened to my ramblings as my brain tried to work out what to do then her soft voice calmed me. "Listen, I know. I know, but it's not going to happen, you must see that now. You have a lovely girlfriend, don't fuck that up for the flake of the century, she's not worth it, whatever your heart is thinking." I really wished my sister didn't know me so well.

I had a small breakfast, feeling a bit sick now and then sent Sarah a message and she called shortly afterwards and I had no reason to not answer, but hesitated. I told her what happened and there was a frosty silence for a few seconds.

"And where is she now?"

"Sleeping," I said, omitting an important fact.

"When is she going back?" No beating about the bush now from her.

"When she feels safe, I guess. Her dad is looking for her and might go back to my parents' place, so..."

"Can she go somewhere else?" A red mist descended and I shook my head to get it clear before I answered.

"She has no other friends. She has no real family now. She is safe here." I tried to be calm, but I heard my voice cracking as I spoke.

"Fine." she snapped back. "I will be home tomorrow. See you then."

I had a day to try and sort this out and I didn't even think Kate would wake up in that time and I stared at my phone as Sarah's call vanished and the door creaked open an inch or so.

"Hey." she said as her head poked around. Her eyes were red and bloodshot and her dark hair tangled and wild. I still found myself smiling at her as my pulse quickened.

"I made coffee." I said and she shuffled in and sat at the table, looking totally lost, but also a bit more relaxed. "I suppose you want me to pour it for you?" She smiled at me and I stood and walked to the pot. "Breakfast?" I said as I got a plate and went to the fridge and she wandered over and looked inside.

"No bacon?" she giggled and I turned and tried to look angry, but failed.

Kate ate the eggs and veggie sausages and then munched on toast as another coffee washed it down. I watched her, noting the jerky movements, her usual self not yet here. She would flinch if there was a loud noise outside and her eyes would go wider if she heard a car, my street being fairly quiet.

"He doesn't know where you are." I said quietly and she stared at me. "I talked to Suzy, he went there, but dad scared him off and he got no answers." Kate gulped and took a swig of coffee and I saw her hands were trembling.

"Mum wouldn't tell him, I know. She protects me, it's why she gets beaten." She said quietly, actually looking into my eyes. "I hope it is safe here." I nodded and she smiled a little.

We went for a walk after Kate had a shower and tried to tidy herself up. I told her she looked great anyway and she laughed and shook her head. "You are such a bad liar." she said and we headed down the street, the rain holding off, but spindrift blasted us as we walked by the beach. I took some photos as the waves crashed and Kate would put her arm though mine as we walked, her muscles relaxing with each passing minute. I stopped to take a shot as Kate walked along and then I took another, her standing on the beach, the sky dark behind her as a wave crashed onto a breakwater, the spray behind her. She looked so small and lost and I quickly walked to her and held her in my arms and I heard the sobs over the noise of the sea.

A coffee stop turned into lunch as we tried to waste the day, me wracking my brain on how to sort this out with Sarah due back tomorrow. We walked around for a bit more, but the darkness was rushing over everything, so we headed back and Kate slumped on the sofa and the spirit went out of her again.

Suzy saved me, again, She called Kate and talked for a while, Kate mumbling now and then in response to various questions and then she handed the phone to me. "Suze wants you to know what's going on." I took it and my sister gave a brief outline of the plan. She had called the Uni to tell them of a potential problem and they were going to get Kate moved from her lodgings to one closer to Suzy's. They had also informed security and the local police to be aware of Kate's dad turning up. Suzy would get clothes from Kate's mum and meet her when she got back to London and take care of her, then they'd go back to Uni together. It was all sorted, but Kate would have to stay another day at least. I looked up and saw the broken soul of our friend and agreed she could stay with me for a few days more. I saw a flicker in the dark eyes as a light clicked on behind them.

"Frozen pizza and salad?" Kate smiled at the menu option and I headed to the kitchen and put the oven on. I had spoken to Sarah and told her of the developments and she accepted them, none too happily. Despite Kate having been the one to get us together, she had always been cool towards her and I never understood. They hadn't met again since that day, but Sarah would bristle at the mention of her name. I decided to deal with one problem at a time and the main one was Kate.

She helped me wash up, her energy levels increasing, the shakes and tremors almost gone, except if there was a loud noise or a car on the street outside. We settled down to watch TV, Kate on the sofa, her legs up on it and a blanket over her as I sat in a chair next to it. A car came down the street and stopped and Kate froze. I walked to the window and peeped out through the curtains. A neighbour was getting out of a taxi and Kate breathed out and her head slumped down when I told her.

"I need to tell you something." she said as I returned to the chair and her eyes showed her fear. "You cannot tell anyone, even Suze." she added as she stared at me. I nodded and gulped, this was bad. "Promise." I promised. "If you don't want to hear it, tell me. I really need to say things, but, I have to tell it all, no stopping. Ok?"

"Are you sure you want to?" I wanted to know, but also feared what she would say.

"Yes. It's just filling my mind, I need to get it out."

"Ok. If you need anything, let me know." She smiled weakly. I had no idea what she might need, other than tissues, but thought I'd offer.

Kate took a deep breath and looked away from me. "So." she said and was choking up already. "Dad was drinking a lot. It started when I was finishing school, close to my eighteenth." There was a deep breath. "I wonder now if he was scared about mum finding out he was shagging loads of women. Mum was feeling ill, she didn't realise he'd given her the clap yet. A couple of days after my birthday he was a bit tipsy. He said we should celebrate as I was a woman and said some slightly creepy things, but I laughed them off, you know, just him being silly as he'd had too much to drink. He said how I had blossomed and 'filled out nicely' and pointed to my boobs. I just thought he was being a crazy dad, slightly scared his little girl was grown up now. Anyway. He gave me a drink, to celebrate, he said. Then another. Then more. I don't really drink, so I got pissed quickly and passed out on the sofa." Kate looked across to me, then down at her hands as her fingers twisted together.

There was a deep breath in and Kate continued as I sat and watched her, the colour drained from her face. "Then he said 'let's get you to bed' and I woke up and he was pulling at me to take me upstairs. I thought how kind he was, taking care of me. He was holding me and I felt his hand on a breast and just thought he was struggling to get me moving as I was so drunk, but then realised he was squeezing. My head was spinning, not just from the drink. He took me to my room and put me on the bed and said he would help me get ready for bed and I had a bit of a panic. I mean, yeah, he is my dad, but I worried about him seeing me, you know?" I nodded.

"Anyway." Kate shuddered a little as she looked anywhere but at me, "He tried to pull my t-shirt off and I struggled to keep it on, he was yanking at my bra underneath too. It all seemed wrong and I pushed him away. Then he grabbed my hair." there was silence for a few moments and I wanted to go to her, but the body language said no. "I screamed, I mean, it fucking hurt. I was sobering up quickly now. He threw me back onto the bed and he reached under my skirt and was pulling my knickers down. I kicked out at him and he backed off, then slapped me across the face. I screamed again and he hit me again and I was stunned, just... couldn't think or focus, the pain was huge. I tried to get up and he slapped me again and I just screamed, like, howled. He was grabbing at me again, calling me all sorts of names. Names I never thought I'd hear my father call me,"

Kate looked at me, her eyes empty. "My father, the man I adored, was saying I was a drunken whore. I was a cheap, nasty slut. I bitch who no man would love. He said those things to my face as he pulled his trousers down. I just screamed and hoped he'd kill me, but mum came in. She had been out and heard the noise when she pulled up in the car and ran in. She jumped on him and he started hitting her and he knocked her back and then turned to me again. I was hysterical and then... I puked over him, all over his hard prick and he swung at me, but I was ready and moved and I kicked his prick. Mum hit him again and then shouted at me to run, so I did. I got outside and one of the neighbours was there, they had called the police as they were worried by the noise. They grabbed me and I asked them to hide me, so they took me inside." The room fell silent for a few seconds as the tears ran down Kate's cheeks and then she sniffed quietly.

"He wanted to have me. Wanted me before other had a chance. He would have taken my virginity and infected me. He would ruin me for anyone else because I was just a slut, a whore, useless and unlovable. He was right."

I tried to stay back, but I went to her as she started to shake and cry and I held her trembling body for nearly an hour until she was spent and I pulled the blanket over her and sat on the floor in front of the sofa.

"You are none of those things, Kate." I said as I held her hand. "You are a beautiful and kind woman."

"No. No, he was right. He knew. He said I had got him drunk as I was an evil slut."

I knew anything I said wouldn't be heard or believed, but I said things anyway. "I don't think those things, I don't see those things. I see a warm person who has been a friend for half of her life to me and Suze. Who is a part of our family, loved by us all." She squeezed my hand gently and didn't reply. I looked up at her and saw her wet eyes staring at nothing and I sat up and kissed her cheek softly and the eyelids closed as she sighed.

She managed to sit up and munch some toast and sip herbal tea. I would hold the mug between sips as she would shake now and then. Part of me wanted her dad to come here, to try and get his daughter again. If he did, he would get a bigger beating than he had given her and he would hope that someone called the police again, this time for his own safety.