Anna with the Big Boobies...

Anna with the Big Boobies...

...and Janice.

Copyright Oggbashan September 2020

The author asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

This is a work of fiction. The events described here are imaginary; the settings and characters are fictitious and are not intended to represent specific places or living persons.

+++

On a late Saturday afternoon, I was being interviewed by George, the manager of this National Trust stately home. I had asked to be a volunteer, helping in the gift shop at weekends. The interview was going well.

Suddenly George asked:

"How are you with depressed and upset women, Mr Thomas?"

"Call me Andrew, please. OK, I suppose. I'm the older brother of three sisters and my mother went through a messy divorce about five years ago. I was there for all of them. Why?"

"Andrew, your girlfriend having dumped you wouldn't change that?"

I sighed.

"I'd known for months that Alison and I were drifting apart. It wasn't a complete shock when she announced she was going to Thailand for a gap year, but yes, it hurt. I'll recover. But why do you ask?"

It was George's turn to sigh.

"The two women working in the shop at weekends, when you will be..."

I liked that statement. It assumed I was successful.

"...are hurting. The younger one, Anna with the Big Boobies..."

I raised my eyebrows at that description. George laughed.

"That's how she's known by everyone here. You'll see why. She is named after the picture 'Madonna with the Big Boobies' in the TV comedy 'Allo 'Allo. She doesn't mind. She revels in it. But Anna has recently been dumped by an abusive boyfriend and isn't her usual cheerful self. And the other woman Janice is her aunt. Janice is divorcing her husband who is and was an arsehole. He'd been with a much younger woman and tried to divorce Janice for her non-existent infidelity. She's reverted to using her maiden name of Janice Chandler instead of her married name as Mrs Smithers. Both of them have been unhappy recently and might want to unload their woes on you. That OK?"

"If I can help them, George, I will. It might take my mind off a non-existent girlfriend."

"If you do, Andrew, the benefits might be meeting Anna's Big Boobies and being hugged by Janice. They do that to me, but discreetly because I'm married. A series of whole weekends with Andrew who has no current girlfriend? You might be swamped."

"As I said, George, if I can, I'll help."

George looked at the office clock.

"OK. The shop is shutting in a couple of minutes. I'll take you to meet Anna with the Big Boobies, and Janice. Oops! I forgot to say - you've passed the interview and are now an approved volunteer starting 10 am tomorrow, Sunday."

"Thank you, George."

+++

As we walked through the stately home towards the shop George asked:

"Have you got a green shirt, Andrew?"

"Yes."

"It will take a couple of days to order uniform in your size. We haven't got any that large in stock. I know they have at the regional office. Anna wears a man's sweater that would be your size. It's the only thing that would cover her big boobies. If you come to the office tomorrow at a quarter to ten I'll have a name badge for you. OK?"

"Yes, George. I'm not surprised you don't have any uniform large enough."

George looked up at me.

"How tall are you, Andrew?"

""It was on my application form, George - six feet seven."

We walked into the gift shop. The lighting had been turned down and the sign on the door said 'Closed'. The two women were on their knees shelf-stacking. They stood up as we walked in.

I could see straightaway why Anna was called 'Anna with the Big Boobies'. They were like large watermelons straining at her sweater. Janice was an older woman, with short-cut blonde hair. She might be a decade older than Anna. Janice was the sort of woman that if one of her daughters was a girlfriend or fiancée you would be happy if she grew up to be like her mother. They both gave us weak smiles.

"Ladies," George announced, "This is Andrew. He will be starting with you tomorrow morning. Please look after him and be considerate. His girlfriend recently dumped him."

"You too?" Anna said quietly.

"This is Anna with the Big Boobies." George said, "And Janice, Janice Chandler."

"Pleased to meet you," I said.

I might have said more but Anna was hugging me, her boobies spread across my chest. She turned her face up for a kiss. I couldn't refuse even if I had to bend a long way down to kiss her. Janice pushed Anna aside and accepted a hug. She was still hugging me as George left.

"You might need consideration, Andrew, after your girlfriend has left. But we need help too." Anna said.

"We do," added Janice, her voice muffled against my chest. My arms tightened around her. Anna held up a thumb in encouragement. I didn't know what she meant until Janice burst into tears against me. I held her body and stroked her hair. Anna brought a step stool and positioned it beside us before climbing on it to kiss me on a level.

A few minutes later I was sitting on a chair with Anna on one leg and Janice on the other. They took it in turns to complain about Anna's ex-boyfriend and Janice abusive husband. I didn't have to say anything, just accept their frequent kisses.

I had applied for this job as a volunteer to take my mind off my recently ex-girlfriend. It looked as if being a volunteer had fringe benefits. Anna's Big Boobies were pressed hard against my side as Janice rested on my shoulder.

"Shouldn't we be doing something in the shop?" I asked.

"Not really," Anna replied. "We were doing some minimal shelf stacking while waiting for George to tell us whether we had a new volunteer. We had done the major replenishments earlier when the number of customers reduced at the end of the opening hours."

"Now there will be three of us," Janice said, "we will rarely need more than two on the tills. Shelf stacking can be done during the day unless we are very busy which we rarely are."

"The only times we have a rush is if it has been a sunny day and rain comes unexpectedly," Anna said. "Even then, the rush is usually over in ten minutes. So we will have plenty of time for this..."

Anna hugged me harder. I was too aware that the nipples on her Big Boobies were erect and pressing into me.

"I thought we were supposed to be helping the National Trust, not..."

"...seducing Andrew?" Janice suggested. "Maybe it's because you are so large..."

"... and eminently huggable," Anna finished.

"I'm enjoying it," I said. "You two are making me forget Alison's departure."

Janice's face fell.

"I wish I could forget my ex-husband Paul as easily but while the divorce continues, I have to deal with it every day."

"Why?" I asked. I might have said more but Anna was kissing me.

"Why is he divorcing me?" Janice said, "Because Paul's found Amy

a younger woman who still believes his lies. Why can't I forget it? Because he is constantly accusing me of being unfaithful, when I wasn't."

"And I know she wasn't." Anna added. "I'm Janice's niece and I've been living with her ever since I started university and now while I'm doing my part time MBA. She hadn't looked at another man in all the time I've been with her."

"So Anna with the Big Boobies has a brain too?" I asked in an attempt at humour.

That was a mistake. Anna's face showed pain.

"Yes, I have. But my ex-boyfriend, Jason, only saw my Big Boobies. He treated me like a trophy. I was trying to study and he couldn't see the point."

"Ouch," I said. "That's not nice."

"It wasn't," Anna said. "I thought he loved me. Jason didn't. He just loved having the girl with the biggest boobies in town. But we know you have a brain. George told us a lot about you from your application form. Apart from being tall, you're a university lecturer..."

"A junior one," I said.

"Who is likely to a senior one next academic year," Janice said.

"How do you know that?" I asked.

"I work in the university's personnel office. I know, as you do, that the recommendation for your promotion has gone to the Senate."

"You know more about me than I know about you two," I said.

"That's easily fixed," Janice said. "Are you free this evening, Andrew?"

"I could be. Why?"

"Then you are invited to share an evening meal with your two new colleagues, Andrew. You'll accept?"

"I would be delighted," I replied.

"And you might meet more of Anna's big boobies," Janice added.

"Is that possible?" I asked. Anna's big boobies were pressing their erect nipples against me.

Janice laughed.

"You'll see," she said.

+++

As we left the shop it was starting to rain. I offered the two women a lift in my car. They usually came to the site by bus but there is a half mile walk from the bus stop to the main building. I took them to their small house, about two hundred yards from mine. I went home, having arranged to return at half seven for a meal.

I showered and changed out of my interview suit into smart casual clothing. I walked to their house, carrying a bottle of red wine.

On the doorstep, Janice hugged and kissed me before I had even entered. She could kiss me because I was standing two steps down from the front door. Inside, Anna with the Big Boobies hugged me, reminding me that she has Big Boobies...

Janice took the bag with bottle of red wine from me. Anna held on to me as we followed Janice into the kitchen. Janice took the bottle out of the bag.

"An appellation controlée Burgundy! " Janice exclaimed. "We haven't had a good wine like this for years."

"I bought it from the University's wine merchants," I said. "The catering officer said it was a good one for the price."

"And even so, it wasn't cheap, was it, Andrew?" Janice queried.

"Probably not. It seemed so reasonable I bought two cases." I replied.

"OK. I'll open it and let it breathe while I serve dinner. We're having Shepherd's Pie."

"Sounds and smells good," I said.

"It will be," Anna said, "Janice is a good cook. I think Paul was very stupid."

Janice's face fell at the mention of Paul's name. I extracted myself from Anna's grasp and hugged Janice. She snuggled against me gratefully.

"I feel safe in your arms, Andrew," Janice said.

"Why should you need to feel safe? "I asked. "Does your ex attack you?"

"No. That would destroy his contention that I'm the villainess in our marriage, He is trying to claim half of this house, but..."

"My ex-boyfriend Jason is a different matter," Anna said. "He didn't like being dumped and has threatened to beat me up. When he's drunk he sometimes comes here and shouts abuse in the street before trying to kick our front door in. He's always gone before the police arrive."

"And this is a Saturday night when many people get drunk, Anna, isn't it? I suspect an ulterior motive for inviting me this evening..."

"Maybe. But he didn't come last Saturday. But if he does...?"

"I'll answer the door and tell him to go away," I finished for her.

"But Jason can be violent when drunk," Anna objected.

I laughed.

"Janice, you've read my personnel file. What does it say about my sports activities?"

"Um. You're involved with a university club?"

"There's a bit more than that, Janice. I'm the chief instructor for the Karate club, and the county heavyweight champion."

"Oh," Anna said, "so Jason wouldn't be a threat?"

"No. My size might deter him. If not..."

"I hope he won't come, Andrew," Janice said. "But if he does?"

"I'll open the door and ask him to go away." I replied.

"Did you ever have to protect Alison?" Anna asked.

I laughed.

"No. Alison can look after herself. She is six feet tall, weighs 180 lbs., and is the women's regional heavyweight Karate champion. That's how we met. I pity anyone in Thailand who tries anything on her. He'd end up in a whimpering heap."

+++

I enjoyed the evening. The food was great and the conversation was excellent. I found out that Janice is an assistant personnel manager and Anna is an office supervisor at a local insurance company. If she gets her MBA she might be promoted to be the local office manager when the current one retires in two years' time. I am a lecturer in Economics and Anna had been to a couple of my lectures but I hadn't noticed her in a hall of more than a hundred students.

After the meal we were on the settee in their living room. Janice was on one of my knees and Anna on the other. I finally understood what Janice had meant went she had said in the shop that I might meet more of Anna's Big Boobies. Anna had shed her top and bra. Her naked breasts were pressed against my side and sometimes she lifted herself up and pressed one against my cheek.

Suddenly she swung around and my face sank into soft flesh. Just one of Anna's breasts had completely covered my face and I couldn't breathe. I could hear Janice giggling as Anna squirmed her breast over my face. I gasped for breath as Anna pulled her breast slightly away.

"I told you so," Janice said. "Anna likes smothering men."

I might have answered. I couldn't as my face was squashed again.

"Janice?" Anna asked.

I didn't know what she meant until Anna moved aside and I was between Janice's much more reasonably sized breasts. Anna climbed off me, moved behind the settee and pushed her breasts around my head. When Anna flung her arms around Janice I was surrounded by breasts. Although Janice's breasts are smaller, they are of a reasonable size and my mouth and nose were between them. Anna's Big Boobies met Janice's body.

Suddenly Anna released her hold on Janice who moved away but Anna then pushed her breasts inwards. Despite my large size and proportionately sized head, Anna's Big Boobies surrounded my head completely and my head was swallowed between them. I heard Janice laugh.

"I said that you would be closer to Anna's Boobies, Andrew. I think you are, surrounded and smothered by them." Janice said.

Anna slackened her hold so I could breathe.

"Like them, Andrew?" she asked.

"Yes, as long as I can breathe, Anna." I replied.

Anna moved from behind the settee and joined Janice, sitting on my knees. Like that we were sitting and talking with their heads resting on my shoulders until there was a noisy car exhaust outside. I lifted the two women off my knees and stood up. We went to the living room window, drew the curtains, and looked out. A man was getting out of the car. He reached across to the passenger seat.

"That's Jason!" Anna exclaimed.

"OK," I said. "I'll go to the front door."

I opened the front door to see Jason staggering up the path waving a club hammer and shouting abuse about Anna.

"Who the fuck are you?" He shouted.

"Anna's boyfriend," I said clearly.

"You're fucking well not! I am!"

"No, you're not. Now go away." I said.

Jason raised the club hammer to hit me. I caught his wrist and forced his arm behind his back. As I moved the arm he let go of the hammer which fell on his foot. I pushed him down the front path and shoved him hard against the side of his car. The breath came out of his lungs with the force of that impact.

When he got his breath back he swore and threatened me with all sorts of violence. Since my hold meant he couldn't move, I just laughed at him. That roused him to more swearing and threats. I pulled him away from the car and slammed him back against it. That silenced him for a few seconds.

"Stay away from Anna," I said, "Or I'll come looking for you, Jason. If I do you will need hospital treatment. Understand?"

I slammed him even harder against the car. I thought I heard a rib or two breaking. I let go and he slid down the car to the ground, moaning.

"I mean it, Jason. So far, that's nothing. If you ever bother Anna again?"

I might have said more but a police car arrived with blues and twos going. A policeman and a policewoman got out.

"Are you OK, Mr Thomas?" The policewoman asked. She is a student at my karate class.

"Yes, but Jason probably isn't. He tried to attack me with that..."

I pointed at the club hammer on the front path.

"Oh good," The policewoman said. "Assault with an offensive weapon, and breach of bail conditions. Anything else?"

"You might need to breathalyse him. He is obviously drunk and all three of us saw him drive up in that which doesn't look roadworthy."

The policeman took a breath sample from Jason. He was four times over the limit and a drugs wipe showed cocaine as well. He was arrested for those as well as for the assault and breach of bail conditions. Meanwhile the policewoman was running the car details and Jason's name through the police computer records.

"Fred," the policewoman said, "You can add wanted on warrant for failure to appear in court, driving while disqualified, and driving a car that isn't taxed or insured."

"But before you can process him," I said, "you might need to get him checked at hospital. I might have broken his ribs."

"Silly plonker!" The policewoman said. "Attacking someone twice his size who is a Karate champion? He must be out of his skull."

Jason had recovered his breath. Although handcuffed he was threatening me with more violence and kicked out at the police. He was still swearing loudly and resisting as a police van arrived and he was bundled into the back. His car was removed to the Police pound.

+++

Janice, Anna and I went back into the house and finished the bottle of wine. About half an hour later they both kissed me on the doorstep. I had arranged to collect them at 9.30 tomorrow morning because the forecast was for continuous rain on Sunday. I walked home in a daze. Yes, I had met Anna's Big Boobies, but I had also met Janice's too. That night I dreamed of both sets of breasts. I had told Jason that I was Anna's boyfriend. That wasn't true but perhaps it might be...

+++

On Sunday morning the promised rain was falling hard. I collected Anna and Janice and dropped them off as new to the shop as possible. They scuttled through the rain with their umbrellas up. I parked the car and went to see George to collect my name badge. He told me my uniform should arrive Tuesday afternoon or Wednesday morning. I could collect it late on Wednesday.

We were very quiet in the shop all day because of the rain. That meant that the two women could train me on the till and explain everything about the shop and its stock.

All three of us were complaining about Jason. We'd be late for work on Monday because we had to attend the Police Station to give statements. Janice and her neighbours had already downloaded their CCTV. Janice's had been recently upgraded because of Jason's previous visits.

Jason would appear in the magistrates' court that morning and was expected to be remanded in custody until his crown court appearance in about a month, when our presence would be required as witnesses.

While I was sitting at the till as Janice showed me its operation, Anna's Big Boobies were pressed against the sides of my head. Whenever I got something right, Janice would kiss me and push me deeper into Anna's cleavage. We had very few customers that day. When the shop was empty one or other of them would be in my arms, hugging or being hugged.

On Tuesday evening my Karate club was going to a special cinema showing of a Bruce Lee film. Before the end of our work on Sunday I had invited Anna and Janice to come with me. They accepted and we would go to a restaurant close to the cinema beforehand.

+++

Monday morning was boring. We had to be interviewed separately at the Police Station and it seemed we had to recount the events over and over again. But everything was clearly shown on the various CCTV recordings. Jason couldn't deny that he had driven up and that he had tried to assault me. It was all there recorded by several cameras in full colour and stereo sound. But we would be needed as witnesses at Jason's trial, whenever that was.