Anonymous

"Don't look so glum," she teased, popping a cookie into her mouth. She smiled triumphantly, chewing it as it filled her cheek. I watched as she washed it down with milk and then exhaled loudly.

"I'm not, it was just weird having you read that," I admitted, hating how she smiled as she reached over and pinched my cheek.

"Sorry for reading your private little notes. I'll be more considerate of your love life in the future," she knew no bounds. I scoffed, swatting her hand away as she cackled.

"You damn bitch," I grumbled, shaking my head as I drowned a cookie in my glass. "You have some nerve. Who'd you learn that from?" I demanded, both amused and irritated with her giggles of satisfaction.

"My mom," she teased. "You know I like teasing you. Anyway I'm curious who this 215 is. Maybe we should go get matching tattoos as that parlor, did he tell you the name of it?" she asked and my heart sunk.

"Oh no, absolutely not, no!" I snapped and she giggled, biting her lip. "Katie you really want me to die of embarrassment don't you?" I demanded and she shrugged. "For your information he didn't tell me. Not like I'd have any idea who he was in the store anyway," I insisted and she scoffed.

"How many men have like white buzzed hair and a few tattoos that work at that specific parlor?" she pressed and I hesitated, shaking my head to get rid of the notion before it settled in any deeper. "I'll drop it, but if you change your mind I'm down for another tattoo. Maybe one on my wrist," she poked the spot and I smirked.

"What would you get there?" I muttered and she shrugged.

"No clue, just something cute and small," she insisted and I nodded slowly. Thankfully we moved on to her recent dating escapades, which there were always plenty of, and I was happy to get my mind off 215 even just for a bit.

The reprieve only lasted until Katie left after a late brunch Thursday morning when I realized I agreed to a dinner rendezvous tonight. My mind was reeling, thinking about the note and my reaction to it. A part of me was worried too, about why my mind was so caught up in this guy. Maybe a quick hook up or something would get my mind off it? Maybe I just needed something to get rid of this edge?

I started browsing the shitty dating app on my phone, trying to see what options I had in my area. A quick hookup could do the trick, set my head straight. Certainly. And luckily within an hour I had a few notifications. I went back to my phone, pursing my lips as I studied the few people who had responded.

One guy said he was available Saturday. One offered tomorrow night, and two offered today. I nibbled on my lip, feeling a weird sensation as I thought about hooking up with someone and then sitting on my balcony talking to 215 like it was nothing. It didn't sit right with me.

"You spineless hoe," I grumbled, apologizing and taking back my offer to all the guys. I paced my living room, chewing on my nails as I thought about it. I never had this guilt before when I was single, this concern of going out to get random sex. Hell, Katie and I went out on group dates to help the other get some relief after droughts. It was so normal for me, so why was I hesitating now?

And then it hit me. That damn 215 guy. He was weighing on my mind so damn much. Maybe it was all of Katie's comments, or the way I was starting to feel when I'd get to talk to him? But either way I was certain there was something there for me, at least enough to make me hesitate.

"Damn," I slumped into the wall, sliding down to the floor as I looked at the sliding glass door to the balcony. Did I tell him?

I killed time, putting all my new earrings away, showering even, just working on clearing my head and feeling refreshed to hopefully push some of these thoughts down. But the sun was starting to set and my stomach growled and I knew I couldn't avoid it forever.

I went to my fridge and grabbed two slices of left over pizza, heating them up in the oven as I crossed my arms and strummed my fingers impatiently. The pizza was barely warm when I dropped the slices onto a plate and grabbed a soda, hurrying outside.

I saw a plume of smoke from his balcony and worried I missed getting to hang out.

"H-hey?" I called out hesitantly.

"Hey. I ordered, so I'm waiting for it to be delivered," he breathed and I nodded once, easing down into my usual chair. "What's for dinner?" he asked and I sighed, hating how comfortable he made me.

"Leftover pizza from last night," I admitted.

"How was your girls' night in?" he chuckled, making me blush as I remembered Katie's incessant teasing.

"Fun, we made earrings and drank wine. Ordered pizza in, had cookies late last night too. Actually, we came out here to snack on them and enjoy the late night," I admitted, seeing another plume of smoke.

"It was a beautiful night last night. I came out after the sun set. I've had a lot on my mind lately, it makes sleeping hard sometimes," he admitted and I nodded slowly, biting into my pizza. We sat in silence and then I heard his phone chime. "Chinese for dinner," he called out, and then I heard his sliding door. I relaxed back, sighing heavily as my heart thumped painfully.

"Get it together!" I muttered, rubbing my forehead as I studied the clouds in the sky. Soon enough he was back on his porch. I could heard the bag, the containers, all of it. "What's your favorite?" I asked then.

"I like the beef teriyaki, lo mein, and steamed veggies. It's my usual order," he admitted. "Oh and I sometimes get dumplings too," he breathed. That made me smirk.

"Quite the appetite," I teased and he chuckled.

"I usually have some leftovers I take to work. But I'm definitely not a skinny guy," he admitted easily. That made me feel comfortable.

"I'm not that skinny either," I confessed, hating the silence that festered. But I decided to enjoy it as I continued to eat my pizza. "So I um," I bit my lip, setting the crust down as I glanced at the wall. How did I go about bringing this up? I knew I wanted to.

"Yeah?" he prompted me, realizing I had stalled too long.

"I think I've hit the casual sex stage," I laughed at myself, shaking my head. There was a weird feeling in my gut as a silence hung in the air. "Well, not that I've had any. But I'm getting the urge," I wanted to sound casual, hoped I did, but I also felt like I was choking on my words.

"Any luck with that?" he asked, calm and collected.

"Well I, um, I had a few offers. But I backed out," I admitted, blushing as I fiddled with my crust. Another pause.

"Why?" that same tone. God I hated that tone. It was so hard to understand.

"I'm not so sure of that myself," I confessed, almost too quietly. But I'm certain he head me. Soon enough I could hear some minor ruffling from his side. I decided to eat my second piece, leaving it at that. Maybe he'd read into it and bring it up?

"And what is casual sex, in your book?" he asked then. I felt like I was going to choke. My eyes bulged slightly as I coughed, patting my chest. "Sorry!" he laughed, hearing me gasp for air after chugging my soda to wash down the food that lodged in my throat.

"Well I prefer it to be with random guys, no strings, in and out until the desire goes away," I guess it was time for me to lay it all out there.

"Sounds like you have a lot of experience with this," he teased and I blushed, covering my face. "That doesn't sound too bad. I know I've been perusing dating apps. It's been two years, I think I'm ready to move on," he muttered and I nodded slowly.

"W-why did you and your wife break up anyway?" I asked softly, realizing I had never asked that question before.

"She cheated on me," he muttered. I was shocked. "We got together in college, I know I told you that much. And I definitely was riding on the waves of youth with my looks. I guess looks meant a lot to her because when I, uh, let myself go?" he offered and I cringed. "Her words not mine, anyway, she didn't find me attractive anymore I guess?" he scoffed and I pursed my lips.

"That seems pretty harsh. What's so bad about your body?" I asked and he chuckled.

"Couldn't tell you. I still get women complimenting me from time to time. I'm not jacked or anything. But I'm not horribly out of shape. I just am stalky I guess? No clue," he seemed unsure but not embarrassed.

"I um, I've always been insecure about my body. I've been a bit overweight almost my whole life. It's not like, bad?" I started, looking down at my thighs that rubbed together easily. "But I've always had some meat on my bones?" I giggled, using Katie's phrasing. "But only from the waist down. I have no tits," I snorted, covering my mouth as I giggled some more.

His chuckle made me feel so much better.

"Well if you get regular offers for sex I'm sure you're decent at least," he teased and I blushed, covering my mouth as I tried not to laugh.

"Yeah, or they're desperate and I'm too willing," I countered. That comment was met with a weird silence. I finished my second slice, not feeling up to eating the crust as I sipped on my soda. I heard him clear his throat and looked over at the wall.

"So uh, fuck, um," he laughed, sounding nervous, making me get nervous myself. "H-how anonymous does this sex have to be?" he asked and I felt my chest tighten.

"A-are you asking me to, um, uh?" I didn't know how to finish that sentence and he clearly didn't know how to ask. If I was reading into it correctly I was in a panic now. I took a deep breath and cleared my throat, pulling my legs up to my chest as I thought about that.

"Like would your faceless, nameless neighbor be off the list?" he asked finally and I bit my lip, hating how my stomach twisted excitedly at the thought.

"Depends, how anonymous can we keep it?" I demanded and he laughed once, seeming just as nervous as I was.

"We can avoid seeing each other, keep the lights off, just go through the motions. No feelings, no strings, no name exchanging. And we don't even have to talk about it afterward," he offered, my heart racing at how ideal that sounded. It was too good to be true.

Surely this was a recipe for disaster. I had to turn it down.

"Ok," I agreed then, my body both hot and cold as I started to breathe heavy. I looked at my plate, then at the wall. "Five minutes," I muttered, getting up and bringing my dish into the kitchen. I walked around my entire apartment turning all the lights off, my heart still racing.

It felt like every second was a minute and every minute was an hour, and then I heard a knock on my door. It made me jump, my stomach tingling. My hand was shaking as I hid behind my door, opening it up. I saw a figure step in, my eyes still adjusting to the dark. The flash of light from the hallway nearly blinded me. I shut the door wafting that smokey coffee smell and a deep sandalwood scent.

We both stood by my door and I could hear both of us breathing heavy. My hands were trembling as I reached out, finding his ribs. My hands ran up to his chest feeling it bulging out slightly. He felt firm, and naturally muscular. But definitely stalky. He also seemed tall, at least taller than me. I was 5'6" and he had a few inches on me. His shoulders were broad, his arms feeling big.

Then I felt his hands on my hips, catching my breath as he leaned into me. His shirt was soft and baggy, and as my hands slid around his neck I felt two thin chains, curious what his necklaces were. Our bodies pressed together, his hands sliding down the sides of my thighs. I leaned back into the wall, his feet around mine as he leaned into me.

His hands gripped my ass, both of us huffing with our own excitement. It felt rough, but in all the best ways. It was rough with the urgency of a man who had been starved for too long. It was a feeling I always craved.

"Damn," he sighed, gripping it pointedly. My hips lurched forward with the force, our bodies molding together as his head leaned down slightly. I closed my eyes, letting instinct kick in as I tilted my head up toward his. Our faces brushed, his stubble roughing up my lips. And then I felt his mouth cover mine.

We both moaned softly as our lips parted and smacked together desperately. I hooked my arms around his neck, pulling myself into him more. Our tongues brushed, his hands sliding up my back slightly. He clawed at the curve of my back, leaning into the kiss as his tongue filled my mouth. I sucked on it eagerly, letting my tongue slide along it and tease his lips.

My hand slid up the back of his neck, the sensation of his hair against my palm sending tingles through me. His hand dipped into the back of my sweatpants and I inhaled sharply as he gripped my ass. His thumb tucked into the waistband of my panties, tugging them down slightly. A guttural sound emanated from his throat as he sucked on my lip before nibbling at it.

"B-bed," I huffed breathlessly, as his other hand slid up my back under my shirt. He let me pull away, my hand grabbing his as I navigated the dark toward my room. I crawled onto my bed, turning over to feel him crawling up behind me. As I reached out I felt his body over mine.

The smell of him overwhelmed my senses as he wrapped his arm around my waist. My elbow was braced into the mattress, hoisting me up slightly as our faces collided in another messy kiss. All of it felt so desperate. There was no romance in it, no tenderness. There was just unquenched desires bubbling over.

Soon enough we were prying clothes off, his hands exploring my body as I caressed his. His stubble was rough against my skin but I didn't hate the sensation. And the way his lips and tongue commanded my mouth had me in heaven. I was in my underwear, my bralette still on when he ran his hand between my thighs.

My hands were trembling as I pushed his pants down more, revealing his cotton covered bulge. My hands caressed it eagerly, rewarded with an appreciative moan. We were one big heaving mess of lust. I felt his fingers brush up under my panties, just pulling them aside and I gasped.

"C-condom!" I pulled away, reaching over to my side table. I grabbed one from the drawer, handing it to him. He snatched it, tearing it open and adjusting to put it on. His hand gripped my inner thigh, his thumb yanking my panties aside. And then I felt the stiff heat of him rubbing up against me.

We both groaned when he sheathed himself deep into me. I was soaked, I could tell, with how easy he slipped in. His hand slid up my stomach, pushing my bra up aggressively. And then I felt his mouth, hot and wet, as it captured my nipple. He groaned, thrusting as I clung to him. My hand held his head, the other clawing at his shoulder as my thighs squeezed his hips.

It had been too long since I felt a man press down into me. My body was screaming out for more. His tongue swirled and flicked at my swollen nipple, his hands squeezing and groping at my flesh. The high of feeling like a sexy woman a man needed was indescribable.

And as he thrusted, roughly cramming all of himself inside of me, I found myself opening up to him. My legs tilting back to give him more room as my back arched to accept him deeper. His arms slid up under me, his lips and hair teasing up my chest and my neck as we both panted in wanton.

"R-rougher please!" I begged, going insane. It was great but it wasn't enough. He groaned, his mouth crushing against mine. I hugged him close, clinging to him as his tongue and teeth collided against mine. And then like a switch flipped his hands gripped the underside of my thighs, pushing them down more. My ass lifted up off the bed slightly, his hips unrelenting as he drove his weight into me.

We were both grunting and moaning with his efforts, yelps escaping me as the sensations swirled into a dangerous fire burning deep in my gut. I was getting close. I could feel that delicious torrent of pleasure churning, threatening to erupt. One of his hands slid between my thighs, his palm pressing down on my mound. I felt the rub of his thumb against my nub. Then a jolt of pleasure shot up my back, the dam cracking. He pounded into me, both of us moaning and huffing like animals in heat. His thumb was driving me insane, tantalizing me with pleasures I was now drunk for.

And then one deep thrust as he pushed down had me crying out. My body locked up, seizing in the throes of pleasure as I trembled. The dam didn't break, it exploded, pleasure washing over me. I was on fire, my thighs squeezing him as my hips lurched against his thrusts.

"Oh fuck!" he groaned, going faster. His thumb was still pressing against me, rubbing slightly due to our reckless abandon. It almost hurt I was so sensitive. But that tsunami wave of pleasure was building up again, preparing to crush me in its wake.

"Don't stop!" I begged, clawing at his arms as he held himself over me. He was like a ballistic jackhammer, powering himself toward his own pleasure. "Y-yes!" I cried out, throwing my head back as my chest pushed up into the air. Pleasure I hadn't felt in so long rampaged through me, my whole body shaking and trembling. A sexy, guttural sound filled the room from him as his teeth and mouth clamped down on my breast.

He was panting, lurching sporadically as my hips heaved up against him. His hands gripped my ass, holding me up as he humped at me. We both came down slowly, my hips dropping to the bed. I felt empty as he slipped out of me. The only sound in the room was our labored breathing.

"Fuck," he choked out, swallowing hard as he sat back on his heels. I stared up at the ceiling, my mind swirling in post-coital bliss.

"Wow," I sighed, closing my eyes as I smiled.

"I uh, I'm not usually that fast with it," he muttered suddenly and my eyes flashed open, adjusting to the dark more and more. I could make out his figure, getting a rough understanding of his face shape.

"Oh um, I think we both needed that. So don't worry. We can uh, you know, take our time next time?" I offered simply and he laughed once, still breathless as he fixed his pants.

"Next time?" he sounded happy about that.

"Well uh, I mean if you know, if we still need it?" I clarified, seeing him nod.

"Right. Well thanks, it's been too long," he grabbed his shirt and slid off the bed then, pulling it over his head. I sat up slowly, studying his figure in the dark. I could see how broad his shoulders were and the way his legs filled his pants out a bit. He definitely didn't feel or look out of shape. His ex-wife was crazy thinking he had let himself go.

"Yeah it was good for me too. Have a good night," I called out as he fixed what I assumed to be his necklaces.

"You too," he glanced back at the bed before dipping out of the room. I fell back to the bed, breathing deeply. I heard my front door shut, covering my face as I squirmed and cried out quietly. I just fucked my neighbor. In the dark, without exchanging names, and with no pretenses. This felt fucking insane.

And the next day at work I told Katie, her eyes wide with the details of my story. "What are you wild animals or something?" she teased as I blushed, trying to ignore the embarrassment as the door chimed. I walked over, greeting the new customer. Today felt so strange after last night. Not in a bad way but in that just had sex freshness that seemed to always linger.

Katie demand more details after work, like how big he was or if he was handsome and that's when I had to fess up to the parts I left out.

"You're literally insane! In the dark? You mean to tell me y'all made out then just went right to pound town like some rabbits trying to breed? And still don't know what the other really looks like, or names, or nothing?!" she sounded amazed as we stood by my car. I felt so ashamed, but also kind of horny at the thought of it.

"But it was kind of hot though," I insisted sheepishly, making her giggle. "He said his ex-wife cheated on him because he let himself go since college. And I'm surprised," I admitted, Katie smiling.