Anonymous

But his lips were hesitant and soft as they pressed and sucked at mine. I let my tongue brush his lip and he hesitated with a heavy sigh.

"I should get back inside. I have to wrap up some paperwork and give Derrick everything he needs to run the store while I'm gone," he grumbled, his hands sliding down my back. I gasped when he gripped my ass, pulling me against him. "I can't tell you how much I love your ass," he huffed, kissing me again. I hung my arms around his shoulders, getting lost in this kiss.

There was frustration behind this kiss. And when his tongue touched mine I felt my insides churn excitedly. He pressed me up against my car, groping me all over as I clung to him. Our breathing was ragged and hot, our lips sloppy when I pulled away.

"Y-you should go back inside before we get carried away," I insisted breathlessly. He bit his lip, bumping his face against mine cutely.

"Leave your door unlocked for me, yeah? I'll come back with Chinese. What's your favorite?" he mumbled, kissing me lightly. I giggled, my lips chasing his for more when he pulled away.

"What you normally order sounds fine to me," I pulled him in for another kiss, relishing in the sensations as we hung onto each other.

"Ok, ok," he groaned, grabbing my hips and pushing himself off me. I let my hands run over his chest, admiring him. "Then it's a date, 213," he muttered. I bit my lip pinching the front of his shirt and tugging it down before letting go.

"Then it's a date 215," I agreed breathlessly. He grabbed my cheeks, kissing me one last time. It was a cute, forceful kiss. I laughed, hugging myself as he turned and walked away. He looked a lot happier this time around.

I got in my car and called Katie, ready to spill everything. Her excitement and happiness only egged mine on. There was nothing that could contain my giddiness as I hurried back to my apartment. When I was home, I realized he didn't tell me when he was going to get off. And we still hadn't exchanged phone numbers.

It hit me that we had really kept our relationship anonymous. It was crazy. We never shared our schedules, our places of work, our names, faces, phone numbers...

I nibbled on my lip as I curled up onto my couch under my plush blanket. He told me to leave the door unlocked, which felt reckless but a part of me was ready to accept that risk. I kept looking at it, my TV not distracting me at all. Not even mindless video watching on my phone could hold my attention.

Then I heard the door knob and perked up, clutching my blanket. The door opened and I saw his arm, that cool bird tattoo, and a bag of food hanging from his hand. "Knock, knock!" he poked his head in and I giggled, getting up. He set the food down on the island, turning to shut the door behind him. I went to open the bag when I felt him grab me.

"Your apartment is cute," he looked around, my stomach knotting up as he held me. "It's nice to see it with the lights on this time," he teased, pressing his face against mine.

"A-are you always this affectionate?" I could hardly get the words out, feeling choked up with emotion as his nose brushed against mine cutely.

"Yeah, if you don't like it-"

"No!" I grabbed his arms as he went to pull away, making him laugh. He bit his lip, stepping closer as he pulled me tight into his hold. "No it's just going to take some getting used to. My ex wasn't anything like this," I whispered.

"Shame, my wife wasn't super affectionate toward me in the last year of our marriage either," he muttered. "It's been a while since I've had this feeling," he continued, his eyes studying mine as he leaned in closer. I felt his breath, then his lips against mine.

We shared a few kisses, the sound of our lips smacking quietly filled the room. He sighed and pulled away, turning to the bag.

"I got an order of dumplings to share, then our own dinner boxes," he pulled the containers out, the smells hitting me and making me ravenous.

"Smells amazing," I gushed. He smirked, glancing at me with a warmth in his eyes. "I've been dying to try it since the first time you ordered it," I admitted sheepishly. He handed me a box and I took it, grabbing some packets of sauce and a plastic fork. I set them down on my coffee table then went over and grabbed a drink.

"How often do you eat on the couch?" he asked, walking over to it. I grabbed him a drink just in case, hurrying over to sit next to him.

"Almost all the time. I grew up with family dinners in the living room, watching our favorite movies or TV shows. So it's just stuck," I shrugged and he nodded, opening the dumplings up. I glanced at them, my stomach growling.

"Dig in," he insisted with a chuckle. I bit my lip, stabbing one and dunking it in the sauce. My hand caught any stray sauce as I flung the piece up to my mouth. I shoved it in whole, chewing it as I smiled. "Good right?" he ate one himself as I nodded.

"You don't get like this without appreciating some food," I pat my thigh and hip, making him laugh.

"You say that like you're massive," he shook his head, opening his box up. The whole thing looked amazing. I turned to mine, eager now as I opened it up. "You know you're not big right?" he pressed and I sighed, blushing as I stabbed the veggies.

"I feel big, especially compared to some of the girls I work with. And who my ex left me for," I admitted, feeling vulnerable and unnerved. He sighed, his hand sliding on my thigh and rubbing it. It was both rough and compassionate. Then he squeezed it making a playful grunt as he shook his head.

"You're not, trust me. And I find you sexy as hell," he admitted and I laughed nervously, covering my face as he chuckled. "I'm serious!" he insisted. I just nodded, unable to say anything. It was overwhelming, sharing so much of myself with someone. Especially when he was a stranger not too long ago.

"You know after um, all of our time together?" I started, making him bite his lip as he studied the TV. "And then seeing you at the shop," I continued, shrugging as I adjusted to eat another bite of lo mein. "I kept thinking to myself, wondering about how your wife could think you weren't attractive anymore," I finally got the thought out, feeling so anxious.

"Yeah? I'm definitely thicker, maybe bulkier than I used to be," he offered easily. I just shrugged though.

"But you still feel buff, or I don't know? Like firm? Like it doesn't feel like a gelatinous mass of fat! To say you let yourself go at all?" I snorted, shaking my head. He chuckled, scooping a huge bite of the steak into his mouth.

"You never saw me before," he insisted. I just shrugged.

"I'm sure I'd just say you're attractive both ways. And that maybe this just looks like a more matured version of you anyway! Since you two had been together for so long," I continued. He seemed a bit amused by that. "What?" I demanded and he laughed once, shaking his head.

"Nothing, you're just surprising me. I wasn't aware you thought about this, or well, me so much?" he offered gently. I bit my lip, blushing as I pushed my tendrils behind my ear. Stuffing my face felt like a good option to avoid saying anything else embarrassing or dumb.

We watched a few shows as we ate and chatted. It felt like any other night, except this time we could see each other. And I definitely enjoyed the view.

"So should we um, talk about us now?" he pat his stomach lightly, leaning back on the couch. I was curled up under my blanket, turned toward him as I sat with my full tummy as well.

"What do you want to talk about?" I offered and he sighed, closing his eyes.

"I know you're still in your twenties but don't play dumb and coy with me please," he mumbled. I cleared my throat, pulling my hair out and scratching my scalp as I tilted my head back.

"I meant that more like, um, maybe if you had anything on your mind you could go first," I corrected finally, studying him then. He sat up slightly, turning toward me. He grabbed my legs, tugging me closer and I gasped before giggling. We scooched closer, my legs on his lap as his arms rested over them.

"I'm curious about this, us, where it could go," he admitted after a minute. I reached out, resting my head on the back of the couch as I ran my fingers along the chains of his two necklaces. They were both simple pendant necklaces but looked so nice on him.

"I've been so happy, thankful even, that we started talking," I offered after a long pause. He grabbed my hand pulling it up to his cheek as he let his head rest back on the couch as well. We just sat there staring at each other, not saying anything. It felt so easy, so simple.

"You're beautiful," he mumbled then and I blushed, burying my face into my knees. He laughed his arm wrapping around me as his hand slid through my hair. "And your reactions are a lot cuter than I imagined," he continued. "To think I agreed to some weird in the dark sex agreement," he snorted a laugh and I felt a bit foolish about it myself.

"It felt like baby steps to me. I wasn't ready for the fantasy of it all to end. You know some mystery man in the unit next to mine enjoys eating with me occasionally, is good to talk to, has a nice voice," I shrugged, lying my cheek on my knees as he continued to play with my hair softly. "I didn't want to ruin the mystical part of it. That and I was worried that you may have had an idea on what I looked like and I was afraid I wouldn't live up to it," I confessed sheepishly.

"Well you are definitely as beautiful as I expected, and definitely cute," he teased, his hand resting on the side of my neck. His thumb brushed along my jaw, a tender sincerity in his eyes tearing away at my inhibitions.

"And you're really fucking hot," I grumbled making him throw his head back with a boisterous laugh. "And I think we have great, um, chemistry?" my nose wrinkled shyly as I closed my eyes.

"Our chemistry is out of this world," he agreed easily, making me feel funny in all the right ways.

"When do you have to go to bed?" I asked softly.

"Here soon. Early flight and I'm catching a ride with Robin's husband," he sighed. "And he has to get to work so I'm stuck on his schedule," he admitted sourly. I hesitated, almost wanting to offer him a ride myself but thinking better of it.

"Then you're gone for two weeks," I reminded myself, a bit glum.

"Yeah, just two weeks," he made it sound like that was no time at all. But it had been nearly three and I just now got to see him again.

"Um, could I have your number before you go?" I asked boldly, perking up a bit. He smiled and offered me a gentle kiss.

"Of course. I planned on giving it to you before I left," he nodded. His thumb brushed against my lip, our eyes locking as his nose slid against mine. "Come here," he tugged on my leg and I threw the blanket off, climbing up to straddle his lap. I let my hands run over his head, my hair hanging around us like a curtain as he smiled up at me.

"So we're dating now right?" I asked finally and he chuckled, pushing his hands up into the back of my shirt.

"I think so, if you want to," he breathed. I nodded, leaning in to kiss him.

"I definitely want to," I admitted eagerly before my lips closed around his. We both gave in to the tenderness of the moment, our mouths colliding and molding together. His hands ran down over my ass to my thighs, groping me roughly as my tongue pushed into his mouth. Nothing compared to the way this man held me or kissed me.

And it felt like the moment would never end. But then his phone rang. I pulled away, breathless as he only shifted to reach into his pocket. I was about to get off him when his arm wrapped around my waist, locking me in place. I hugged him in response, burying my face into his neck as he answered it.

"Hey dad!" he breathed, my lips pressed against his neck as I breathed deeply. The smell of his cologne was so intoxicating to me now. Even when it was dull like this. I tried not to eavesdrop as they talked about his visit and his sister traveling.

"Yeah I'm about to turn in," he mumbled, his fingers fiddling with my shirt's strap as he pressed his face into my neck. His scruff rubbed at my skin, his breath hot. He sighed and then cleared his throat. "Uh huh, can't wait to see you either. Love you," he hung up and I heard the thud of his phone on the couch. Then his arms wrapped around me, holding me close.

Why did a simple hug feel so good?

Why did I feel so close to this man?

Of course we'd been hanging out for months, fucking for some of that time too, but this felt like a whole other level I didn't expect to reach.

"Can I smoke on your porch?" he asked as he pulled back slightly. I just nodded, not moving as his hand gently smoothed my hair down. His other hand rested on the top of my ass, our bodies pressed together as we breathed deeply. "You have to get up," he teased, but I shook my head. "Come on, I think I could lift you but I don't want to embarrass myself if I can't," he teased, making me scoff.

"Is it because I'm chunky?" I demanded, met with a laugh that warmed my heart.

"No, I'm not that strong!" he insisted, pushing on my hips gently. "Come on, I've been craving a cigar for some time now," I slid off his lap, pouting as he went to his jacket and pulled a little container out of the pocket. It was a cigar and lighter holder. I watched him curiously as he prepped the cigar, following him out to my balcony then. He stood at the railing, leaning on it as he glanced at the table.

"This is it," I gestured and he smirked, shaking his head as he lit his cigar and took a deep puff. That cinnamon smell was heavier now that I was this close to it. I closed my eyes, smiling.

"How am I going to quit if it doesn't bother you?" he teased, making me shrug. I studied him as he took another puff.

"Who said you had to quit?" I countered. He sighed but I could see the smile pulling his mouth up from here. "Besides the smell is really nice. When you'd smoke and then come over I always loved the way you smelt," I admitted easily, not even embarrassed about it anymore.

"Yeah? Do you like my cologne too?" he breathed.

"Mhm, you just smell so earthy and sexy," I nodded, pulling my hair up slowly into a lazy bun.

"The wife hated it," he mused, my eyes flashing open.

"It sure sounds like we both were in relationships that were pretty shitty in hindsight," I mumbled getting a laugh out of him. "My ex hated it when I didn't shave every day, never wanted me eating on the balcony, insisted I watch my weight, always asked me when I planned on getting a real job," I complained, shaking my head as I crossed my arms.

"My wife was only ever proud of me when I opened up my own shop. We had trouble having kids, which I'm a bit thankful for now. Not because I don't think about having them at some point, you know? But because the idea of staying connected to her kind of creeps me out," he chuckled. "She hated my cologne, my clothes, my art," he shook his head. "But she knew I was an artist, it was my damn major!" his laugh sounding snide.

"And then you went and let yourself go on top of all of that," I teased, reaching my foot out to push on his ass. He laughed, his head dropping down and tilting so he could smile at me.

"Honestly? I think the sex kept our marriage together as long as it did. When she stopped being interested in that is when it finally crumbled," he shook his head and I bit my lip.

"Well I want to say I'm surprised but knowing how you like to get freaky makes me wonder why I stayed in my last relationship so long," I shrugged, my stomach fuzzy at the thought of our many nights together.

"Oh yeah? Was your ex not enjoyable?" he teased. I laughed out a honk of air, shaking my head.

"Missionary, only if I was shaved and showered. I'd be lucky if he ever went down on me. His fingers were only for warm up, never for anything else. I'm starting to think over time he just found me disgusting. Or, I don't know, just didn't like sex?" I shrugged, shaking my head. "It's been a long time since I've had good sex, let's put it that way," I laughed at myself, crossing my arms as I stared out at the sky. It was almost entirely dark, the sun just barely peaking above the horizon behind the trees.

"A long time?" he pressed and I smirked.

"It's been a while still, what, a month?" I pretended to look at a watch on my wrist, making him laugh.

"Add another two weeks minimum on that," he breathed, making me sigh a bit dejected at the reminder. "But when I come back," he started and I giggled, shaking my head. "We're going to do it," he continued, getting closer. I looked up to see him leaning over me as he took a drag of his cigar. The smoke blew out around me, my body trembling as the aroma overwhelmed me. "With the lights on," he breathed before kissing me.

"Promise?" I croaked, getting a sexy smile from him.

"Promise," he nodded, turning back to finish his cigar by the railing. We cleaned up, hugging and kissing again before he went to leave.

"Wait!" I grabbed his arm and he looked curious. "Um, this may sound ridiculous, but your shirt? Can I um, can I have it?" I asked sheepishly. He looked down at it, his face wrinkling in amused confusion. "It smells really nice!" I insisted and he sighed, hesitating before rolling his eyes. He grabbed the back of the collar, hiking it up over his head. My eyes dropped down to his body, admiring the few tattoos on his chest and back. He handed it over to me, shaking his head.

"You just wanted to see me shirtless," he teased. But I shook my head.

"I'm going to sleep in this until the smell goes away. And just hope it lingers in my bed too," I admitted, blushing.

"That's somehow adorable," he sighed, gripping the back of my neck and kissing my forehead. "You have my number so don't be a stranger this time around," he teased. I giggled, nodding as he left. He gave me one more kiss and then went to his apartment. I shut the door, locking it and slumping down to the floor. The happiness I felt was so overwhelming I didn't know how to handle it.

And that night I slept in his shirt.

And every night after that, even after the smell was rubbed out of it. My sheets and pillow smelt like it for some time too. But the last lingering, comforting smells faded a few days before he was supposed to come back.

Even though we were texting and calling each other occasionally I missed him a lot.

There was something about that one night together that caused a cosmic shift in me. And I knew it was the culmination of all our talks, and late nights on the porch. I knew it was our fun meet ups in the dark playing a mysterious game of lust and discovery. And then a happenstance encounter that led to one of the most pivotal nights for me. The deal was signed, sealed, and delivered. I really fucking liked this guy. I was counting down the days and then on Sunday the hours until I knew he'd be back. It felt childish. Like a first crush kind of juvenile. But I didn't care.

My phone rang and I answered it immediately, my heart racing.

"Hey, I'm back. You still at work?" he muttered. I glanced at the clock on the wall, stretching as I looked at the schedule for next week.

"Yeah just finishing up some last minute things," I ruffled my hair, feeling irritated that I was stuck here. "Do you want me to still pick up pizza or something on my way back?" I sighed, slumping back into my chair.

"Nah that's ok. I'll just order something," he sounded disappointed too. "How much longer?" it made me smile how anxious he sounded.

"Miss me that much?" I teased, biting on my lip as he chuckled.

"Considering we only had a few hours together before I left after three weeks of nothing?" he countered and I sighed, closing my eyes as a content smile plastered itself on my face.

"I just want a hug," I admitted quietly after some silence. I could hear him moving around, maybe unpacking?