All Comments on 'Aristippus - Ginger's Story'

Hi, Tall, I'm surprised and disappointed that you've received so little feedback from this story so I'll offer my take. This is actually the second take since I lost my first comment.

.

First, you did a great job setting up Ginger's character with a very good background, and the budding relationship with Daniel, appropriately nerdy based on his profession, was fun. She wasn't one of my favorite characters in the Retreat story, so it was nice learning more about her and her background. It was well written and established a great backstory for her. I enjoyed reading of her budding relationship with Daniel and how that developed.

.

That said, the first time I read this story, I was taken aback at a certain point when there was a sudden, dramatic and somewhat unexpected change. There had been hints that I may have glossed over but I stopped reading and switched to the story of another of the Aristippus girls.

.

Enough time passed before I returned that I'd forgotten most of the part that I'd read. Therefore, when I read it this time and events were refreshed in my memory, it seemed better than the first time, but when I got to that particular point, I stopped again, though this time just until the next day. Then I read the rest and thought about it for a while before trying to compose this summary.

.

You did a great job dealing with Ginger's trouble and how she got through it. Perhaps it was because I'd read the story of the retreat first and expected something, but her transformation from that bad time to what she became wasn't nearly as surprising to me as Daniel's in the first half, despite the fact that there were indeed hints of his issues as things went downhill. Personally, I would have preferred to have seen Daniel's change be muted a little, either by having him be more of a bad boy from the start (and preferably Ginger being really turned on by that), or possibly by having a few more hints before the first incident that he wasn't quite what he seemed (and I'll admit that I may have missed some things along the way!). In the end, Ginger showed her strength to get through that hard time, which was what was most important.

.

Finally, since this was really a prequel and since I read the AR story first, the very last paragraph was bit flat to me personally, but it really was a transition to that story rather than an epilogue as it seemed to me. Another few paragraphs with Ginger being on a typical date, with perhaps one more erotic scene, followed by him mentioning about the AR or her receiving an invitation that evening or the next day, might have let the story end on more upbeat note. As it was, I think you did very well overall and I rated it 4.5* and rounded up.