As the Girl Turns

I pointed out the Vanderhorst's home. Gail's car was in the drive; but Dan wasn't home.

"Jane, I want you to do a little bit of acting for me when we get inside. I'm going to tell the Vanderhorsts that Jake is dead, that I killed him. You need to go along with whatever I say. The only way to get these people to agree to our demands to the videos is to threaten them. OK?"

I reluctantly agreed with Dad's plan; I knew there was no stopping him at this point. "OK Dad."

I rang the bell and Gail came to the door. "Jane, Mr. Miller; this is a surprise."

"Hi Gail; can we come in?" Dad said it in his friendliest voice. He almost had me fooled.

"Yes, c'mon in." Gail opened the door; Dad closed it as we stepped inside. Immediately Dad's demeaner changed; in a threatening voice, he told Gail to sit down. She was scared. "What's this all about?"

"Just shut the fuck up and answer one question. When does your husband get home?"

Gail hesitated until Dad approached her; he hadn't pulled out his gun, but Gail was still frightened. "In about twenty minutes. Why?"

Instead of answering, Dad took out his bandana and gagged Gail with it.

"Now, we'll all just sit here and wait."

Twenty minutes later, we heard Dan's car pull in. Dan walked into the house. "Gail, whose car is that in the drive? Gail?" Dan walked in the living room where we were all seating. Dad had pulled his gun out when Dan opened the front door and it was now pointing at Dan's head.

"Sit down!"

Dan sat down; Dad kept the gun pointed at him.

"Less than an hour ago, I put a bullet in Jake's head for what he did to my little girl. As he was begging for his life, he claimed you were the one who put him up to it and had videos and photos you were planning to put on the Internet. I believed him; but that didn't excuse what he did. So, tell me Dan; where are these videos?"

For some reason, this didn't seem to scare Dan. Dad pointed the gun at Gail's head; cocking the hammer for added effect. "Maybe I should blow her brains out first? You've got two seconds to tell me."

Gail's eyes went wide; she looked like she was ready to faint. Dan just kept his mouth off; Dad counted. "One -- Two!"

Gail was shaking her head in a panic. Dad took the gag off her mouth and she started screaming at Dan. "You son of a bitch! You were going to take a chance on getting me killed? You fucking asshole!"

"Don't say anything, you bitch." Dan was screaming back at her.

Now Gail was really pissed. "I'll tell you where it's all at; everything!"

Dad knocked Dan out with the gun when Dan tried to stand up, then gagged and tied him up. We followed Gail into their den where Gail opened up a cabinet filled with DVDs and albums of photos Dan had printed out. There were hundreds of photos of more than two dozen women, including mine. One of the DVDs was marked, 'Jane Miller'. Dad slipped that one in his pocket.

Next, Gail fired up Dan's laptop where hundreds more photos were stored and dozens more videos. Inside the liquor cabinet Gail pointed out the bottles that held Dan's stash of various drugs including his supply of Ecstasy and some other powders. "Don't touch those," Dad warned, "the cops will need to print the bottles and it will help if Dan's are the only ones on them."

When the cops showed up, it turned into a real three ring circus. I swore out a complaint against Dan, he swore out a complaint against Dad for unlawful restraint and assault. The cops were able to obtain a search warrant on Dan's house and confiscated all his computer gear. At least five of the women in the videos swore out complaints against Dan when they were contacted by the DA. Seems most of the women, like me, were unaware they were being filmed and didn't know they were on Dan's website.

The cops confiscated the drugs, which did turn out to have Dan's prints on the bottles, and which were allowed into evidence over the objections of Dan's attorney; the judge ruled Dad wasn't acting on behalf of the police and therefore the search warrant was legally obtained.

Dad's charges were reduced to a misdemeanor; he received a suspended sentence and fined five dollars by a sympathetic judge. Jake was charged with a variety of crimes, mostly to do with his assisting Dan in the filming of women without their authorization. He ended up serving a year in prison. Gail turned state's evidence against Dan to get her charges reduced; again over the objection of Dan's attorney, who claimed spousal privilege (which Gail was allowed to waive). Dan's attorney finally struck a deal with the DA, but Dan still ended up serving four years. He was financially ruined; what was left after paying his attorney's fees was split among the six women who sued him.

**************************

I divorced Jake while he served his prison term. He left town shortly after his release and the last I heard, he's up in Alaska working on a crab boat. I hope I never see him again.

I will never get over the embarrassment of having my father see those photos of me (he never watched the videos, thank goodness). Whenever I tried to apologize, he'd say, "Let's not talk about that." He finally gave up after a year had passed and said, "Apology accepted." before giving me a giant hug. I haven't brought it up since. Mom just looks at me with sad eyes, hugs me and says, "I love you." I thank my lucky stars to have been born to two great people.

After things calmed down and my divorce was finalized; I thought about leaving town. I mean, who wants to be known as the town slut? But, most of that seemed to be in my own mind. People at the office didn't treat me any differently, my parents were here to support my mental health and Kassie was wonderful in listening to me when I was feeling down. I did move closer to my work.

A couple guys asked me out, I was happy when the dates turned out to be relatively normal. Neither of the guys tried to bed me on the first dates. Unfortunately, there was nothing about either of them that made me want to accept a second date. I stopped dating and refused any subsequent offers to go out. I thought about going to a shrink; first I get dumped by Kenny, then I marry Jake, I go out on two dates with two nice guys, but can't seem to click with either one -- what the hell is wrong with me?

**************************

It was two years after my divorce, I was at my parent's house having Sunday dinner.

"An old friend of yours asked me to say hello to you. Marcus Jones asked me how you're doing."

"Marcus?" I never told my parents that it was Marcus Jones who told me about Jake's attempt at recruitment back then. "How did you meet Marcus?"

"He's the new IT manager down at the office; we just hired him away from Google. When Mr. Loman introduced him to me, he said he knew a Jane Miller and asked if we were related. I said you're my daughter, he said you two had a few classes together in high school. Seems like a real nice guy."

"He is." I didn't add how nice and how much I owed him. I glanced over at Mom; she had that look on her face; the look was a silent plea, "When is my daughter going to start dating again, get married and give me grandchildren?" Poor Mom.

Dad broke the silence, "I had the distinct impression the question was more than friendly curiosity. Would you be upset if I gave hm your number?"

"That would be OK, Dad. Thanks for asking."

We finished our meal and I headed home that night wondering if I'd get a call.

I did get the call Monday evening. Marcus and I chatted for an hour before he asked if I'd like to go out Friday. I accepted, we had dinner and went dancing at a nice club downtown. That date led to others. After three weeks, Marcus brought me to his parent's home to introduce me to the rest of his family. His mom greeted me like an old friend; she was always so nice to me when I used to shop at the grocery store where she worked; but this was different, and it felt so nice to be welcomed into her home.

It was a strange experience for me; the first time I was the only white person at a table with a half-dozen black people. Marcus' younger sister, Tina, was there with her husband and two-year-old daughter. I didn't know how to respond when Tina said, "I always thought you were the prettiest girl in our school." I could only blush and reply, "Thank you." Marcus reached for my hand and squeezed it.

Marcus' father said grace and we had a fantastic dinner. His father must have noticed the surprise in my eyes when he lifted the casserole lid and it was lasagna; he laughed and asked, "What, were you expecting fried chicken?"

"No sir; but I didn't expect Italian."

The whole table broke out. Tina's husband said, "They love doing it, they pulled the same thing on me my first time here."

Marcus said, "Mom's the best Italian chef this side of Palermo. Wait 'til you have her ravioli."

"So, you're already planning to ask me back again?"

"As often as you want."

I was happy Marcus felt that way; but it also made me sad. I tried not to show it; but we hadn't had 'the talk'; I hadn't told Marcus all the awful things I'd done when I was married to Jake. It was time to do it, maybe even tonight after we left his parents' house, because I was falling for him.

The rest of dinner and dessert went by too quickly. The chatter around the dinner table was filled with familial love and respect. We said our good-bye's; Mrs. Jones gave me a big hug as we left and told me to come back soon.

In the car, it was time. "Marcus, we have to talk."

I guess those words can have a negative connotation, because Marcus looked upset. "What do we need to talk about, Jane?"

"About my past. You need to know some things. Take me home; let's get this over with."

We drove the rest of the way to my apartment in silence; each of us lost in our own thoughts. My thoughts were concentrated on what I would say; I decided there wouldn't be any sugar-coating; Marcus deserved the truth. We walked in the door, I made coffee and we sat down at the small dining table.

"Marcus, when I was married to Jake, he and I did some things you need to know. I had sex with men I didn't know, we had threesomes, we swapped with Dan and Gail. He had me get picked up in bars and do things with strange men." I spent another five minutes telling Marcus about my past actions.

"Were these your ideas or Jake's?"

"Jake's - and sometimes he drugged me; but sometimes he didn't, and I still did all those things."

"Did you like it?"

I hated that I had to answer this question, "Sometimes."

"Are you ashamed of what you did?"

"More than I can ever say. I can't even begin to tell you how ashamed I was when I had to tell my mother and father what I was; that their daughter was a slut. How ashamed I am right now that I have to tell you the same thing."

"It's good you're ashamed of it; that tells me it's not who you are. Tell me something; can you be exclusive with one man? Could you forsake all others if you ever got married again?"

"That's how I thought it would be when I married Jake, that's what I was planning. If I do ever marry again, all I want is to have that with my husband."

"Good. I'm going to ask you right now; can we be exclusive? We only date one another? We haven't been intimate, yet; but once that happens, I'm not sharing."

"I'd like that, Marcus. I want that." I got off my chair and sat in his lap. With my arms around his shoulders; I gave him a kiss and it felt so great when he kissed me back.

"Your father knows we're dating; I assume your mother knows, too. But this brings it to a whole new level. I think it's time we let them know we're serious. Can we have dinner with them next weekend? We'll take them out and I'll get to meet your mother."

"That'll be nice. What about your family? When do we tell them we're serious?"

Marcus laughed, "Oh, they know we're serious already. Today just confirmed it."

When we told Mom and Dad that we were taking them to dinner; they refused to go. Mom insisted on a sit-down dinner at her house to meet Marcus. I think she needed to impress Marcus with her cooking after I raved about Mrs. Jones' lasagna. Mom made her lamb roast with Spanish rice.

**************************

Some things are too personal to share. You've already read all about my sleazy sex life; you don't need to know the details of my love life with Marcus. We did make love soon after the dinner with my parents and we did become exclusive. We took Mom and Dad out to dinner soon afterwards to meet Marcus' mother and father. The six of us shared a great meal; Marcus and I were relieved when all four parents seemed to get along. Two weeks later they surprised us by having dinner together without us. Mom said later that they all knew this was getting serious and wanted to start to know each other better if they were going to share grandchildren.

Five months after we started dating, Marcus asked me to marry him. After I kissed him, hugged him and told him 'yes'; Marcus asked if I would mind a long engagement, a year. He said it would give him a little more time to get established at work. Deep down I wondered if he was still worried about my ability to remain true to him. He never said anything; and he never once threw my past at me, even during the two or three times we had a heated disagreement about other issues; but I seriously wouldn't have blamed Marcus if my past was at least a small reason for the long engagement.

It didn't matter; from the first time he kissed me, I was loyal to him.

As much as we loved each other and as much support we received from our parents and others; there were other issues that presented challenges; the biggest being our racial differences. Marcus has a cousin, Simone, who just hated the fact Marcus and I were a couple. It didn't help that Marcus used to date Simone's best girlfriend. According to Simone, black men should marry black women. Although she was invited to the wedding, she made it known, loud and clear, she wouldn't attend.

Simone's attitude hurt; but Tina helped me get over the hurt with her welcoming behavior. Tina treated me like a sister and gave me the most beautiful wedding shower a bride could ask for.

It was a small wedding. Kassie was my maid of honor for the second time; she laughed when she said, "This is it for me, the last time I'm in your wedding." Then she whispered in my ear, "I know this is it, though. I kept my mouth shut the last time. This time I don't have to; Marcus is the one."

And it wasn't only Simone who copped an attitude. I was walking into the coffee room one afternoon at work when I heard one of my co-workers, a woman I thought was a friend, tell another co-worker how disgusted she was that I married a "N...". I was so upset; I went back to my desk with tears in my eyes and had to leave early.

When Marcus came home that evening, he instantly saw how upset I was. We sat down and talked about it; Marcus had to deal with this kind of behavior throughout his life and I asked him how he did it.

"Jane, there will always be assholes and bigots; but there will always be good people, too. I'm lucky, I guess; I had teammates, white, brown and black; and we always had to count on each other to win. Thinking about the guys that treated me as a man, not a black man, then seeing how you fell in love with me, not worrying about my skin color; that's what helps me get past those cretins."

"What about our children; how are we going to teach them how to ignore the comments?"

"My mother and father taught me and my sister. You and I will figure it out when the time comes."

"Well, we better figure it out sooner than later."

Marcus looked at me with curiosity. I just gave him a small smile in return. We both wanted children, I just wasn't certain Marcus wanted them this soon. I held my breath, waiting.

"What does that mean, Jane?"

"It means we didn't quite make it to the altar without a baby growing inside me. It means next time we need to use something other than the rhythm method for birth control or we're going to have enough children to start our own football team."

I paused; as was becoming his custom, Marcus waited for me to finish my babbling; I looked into his big, brown eyes. "Please tell me you're happy."

Marcus lifted me in his arms to pull me in for a hug and a kiss.

"Honey -- I'm ecstatic!"

This man is going to be a great father.