All Comments on 'Astral Projection'

what the actual fuck

I really liked the depth of this.thank you

Overall, the story just didn't make any sense. The writing was good from a technical standpoint, but it needs to be fleshed out so the reader can feel like there's something worth investing in. It's a unique universe, sure, but we never learn anything about it.

One problem I always have with stories that "prove" something mystical actually exists is that they don't go into what exactly that means. For example, when the protagonist mentions that this might be 'proof of a god', he doesn't stop in his tracks to really assess what that could mean in terms of heaven and hell also being very real places. Evil behavior can always be excused if you don't believe there's an eternity of torment waiting for you after you die!

If a teen really found this dream world, I can't believe it wouldn't be such a huge life-changing experience that it wouldn't ripple out through his entire existence. How could you be mad when you wake up..... when you know there's an impressively awesome realm to explore as soon as the sun goes down? How could that not make you ponder all the great mysteries of life?

He finds a website that's got helpful info, but never tries to contact the site's author? Why not? Mention of many "Dreamers", but he doesn't try to find any of them so he can learn? Instead, he's just so horny that he can't think straight? Well, who gets that horny?

We don't learn why he's doing anything so there's no real character development. The protagonist is very one-dimensional.

And why couldn't his "instructor" bother to change his feelings for the good rather than for the bad? If she had those powers, why not slowly turn him to the right path by tweaking his feelings? Why send him into a "downward spiral"? Why would she help at all after watching him rape a dozen women in their dreams? Even if she thought he didn't realize what he was doing, what about his actions inspired her to approach him and make him stronger? Does that sound at all like something a reasonable person might do?

Those questions are why I said that the story didn't make sense. We jumped right into the deep end with no explanation of anything, really, and a ton of unexplained phenomenon.

I liked the concept, the writing and the narrative flavour.

Surreal fiction requires the idea from the author and the willing suspension of belief from the reader, only then there is a chance of shifting my reader's perspective to that of the authors and to briefly experience their idea in full widescreen and technicolor.

I enjoyed the flow of the writing, and very much enjoyed the idea behind it .

Thank you for sharing your imagination and I hope that maybe you'll explore the dream world again

Continue this

I'm with Ferru on this one. Could have been good, but a swing and a miss.

Did someone watch Behind Her Eyes ;) ?

Please keep it going! I need to know what happens next :(

I need to know what happens next!! Please keep it going

this should've been a redemption story.

Mmm I think you should follow up on this this was deep

Please write more like this

Interesting

Bummer ending though.

Would have been fun to see more of the real world ramifications of his lucid actions to his dream partners.