- Romance
- Athena Grows Up
- Page 7
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"I wouldn't have stopped you," she admitted. "If you felt you needed to go, it would have been cruel to make you deny your character and stay here."
Flint gazed at her, smiling, as he debated.
"If I'd decided to go," he began, "I would have asked you to marry me ... right away, so you would go to Italy with me as Mrs. Edgar."
"Flint! You would really have done that?" she questioned, an astonished look on her face.
"We've said a lot of things to each other over the past couple of weeks. Things that I loved hearing. I don't know about you."
"Except for talk of leaving, I treasured everything you said to me."
Flint released his hold on Athena and sat up beside her, then slid around, so he was on both knees.
"Athena, you've heard all the things I've said. So now, I'll ask you simply, will you be my wife?"
"Yes, yes, of course, I will," she answered, scrambling to sit up, her eyes wide.
"People will think it's too early for that," he confided, "so it can be our secret until we decide to let it out. We've gotten good at keeping secrets, but knowing the answer and having that between us will make my life so much simpler. Plus, I think I'll be having some serious talks with my father."
"Oh my gosh, it's a dream, only better. It's real."
"Shall we get dressed and share the news with everyone? I can hardly wait."
"In a few minutes," she replied, pulling him on top of her. "One more time, please."
Athena was in charge now, and Flint was not about to refuse her request.
My sincere thanks to vanmyers86, chasten, SleeperyJim, and norafares for their beta reads, editing, and myriad suggestions. Also to the Audacious Alpacas and MsCherylTerra for their continued support and encouragement.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousover 1 year agoWell written, as usual. Any issues I have are my personal preferences about relationships.
vcwriter17bover 1 year agoI really liked most of what you did here. Athena resembles someone I dated long past, very real, although the real person I knew crashed into mental illness.
However, i really dislike the Italian pregnancy episode which comes across as artifice to create tension before the close — a bit formulaic with overtones of deus ex machina. The problem magically arises and equally magically disappears. Its not a great shock that a single, attractive businessperson stationed in Italy would a girlfriend or several. You foreshadow the subplot a couple of times, but each time in comes across as something inserted in the story after the fact. Why bother? There are other ways to create realistic tension without having new characters pop up late in the tale,
Anonymousover 2 years agoYou say in the author intro: "This is a stand-alone story ... You don't need to read ['Love Changes Everything'] to understand this story" but that is not the case. Without any previous introduction to the character of Flint, this story simply doesn't work. There's 6000 words here before we meet him, and when he does turn up our heroine is immediately in love with him without the story having shown how that love has been earnt: there's no payoff for anything.
Anonymousover 3 years agoFinally someone who knows how to truly end a story.
I only wish there were 10 stars to choose from.
