Auction Block, Halloween Style

Alex didn't bite; knowing that at best Jodi was only half right. Still, he didn't suppose His buddy had been whispering lies. And, he knew absolutely that Phil hadn't been shy about voicing his desires. Alex also knew Phil wanted to bang his habitually horny wife. When it happened, and he figured it was inevitable, he wanted to be there cheering his buddy on. Still, what he had heard over and over again was his buddy moaning about just how badly he wanted one of Jodi's notorious blowjobs.

It wasn't his buddy's chances Alex thought about as he swept a hot, lingering look up and down the length of Jodi's svelte body. Aware that his "Damn girl," hadn't been much of a response, he added a low, drawn-out wolf whistle. He felt lots better about his "I mean, wow baby, one look at you and the guys will need a Priest and a visit to the Confessional."

It was Alex's first peek at the slinky Habit Jodi had slithered in to. Like silk, it clung to every dip and curve of her lean curvy body. Exhaling a slow breath, Alex's gaze lingered on the prominent nipples poking through that Habit's clingy fabric. Not very Nun like, he thought. But then, I don't suppose traditional Habits come slit to the hip either. Jodi's did, bare tan thigh showing above black fishnet stockings. "Damn girl," he half-croaked. "It's got to be against the rules; not that any respectable Nun would be caught dead going commando anyway?"

Eyes flashing with a warning glint of mischief Jodi spun, her Habit flying open, a bare ass confirming Alex's suspicions. Fuck, he thought. If we're right, she's going to wind up on that auction block, and if I know Jackie, Jodi's going to be up their bare-assed when the guys start the bidding. And, being an instigator Alex offered up a wager he hoped his exhibitionistly inclined wife would take for the dare it was. "Tell you what darling, how about tonight you give Phil a choice? Count on it, you'll wind-up swallowing more than a mouthful of dick. And, for that privilege you get to write a check for one hundred dollars to the shelter, and that's from your personal account of course."

"You're on, and you're nuts," Alex was confidently told. Jodi added a huffy "Don't forget your checkbook buddy boy. Uh-huh, and just think, you get to watch your buddy fuck me in front of, well gosh, in front of everyone. Ooh and you have to pay for the privilege."

"No way baby. It's a bet," Alex agreed. Satisfied, a smirking Alex changed the subject, going for casual as he innocently asked "Hey, what's Lana coming as?"

"Gosh Alex, I just don't remember," Jodi replied, with a dismissive snort added for emphasis. "But, whatever it is you can bet your Vulcan ears it's going to be something deliciously slutty."

"Slutty works," Alex fired back as he slammed the trunk closed. And, after tossing Mister Spock's handy-dandy equipment pouch on to the back seat he climbed behind the wheel. Jodi slid in, snickering as she buckled-up.

Alex didn't bite, his mind running through the possibilities as he drove. The way he had it figured Jodi and Lana were likely to be working as a team, which didn't mean he expected Lana to be costumed as a second naughty Nun. But, he had narrowed it down, musing that maybe he should have gone as Sherlock Holmes, having cleverly deduced that Lana would indubitably appear either as a very slutty hooker, or an equally promiscuous schoolgirl. His bet was on the schoolgirl, an exceedingly naughty Catholic Schoolgirl.

Alex had just about convinced himself that it really didn't matter anyway, when Jodi interrupted his fantasies. "Woowoo," she shrieked. "We're good to go for a stop at Guy's," she informed Alex, her thumbs busily dancing over her cell's screen. "Huh smarty, Lana's ready; and that means, uh-huh, we get to stop at My Shrink on the way to Jackie's party." As Alex knew, for Jodi an All Hallows Eve visit to My Shrink wasn't just a well-established tradition, it was absolutely de rigueur.

Alex, playing the tease said "Gosh I don't know honey; I mean, Guy's going to be at the party after all."

Jodi popped a less than playful punch off his shoulder, laughing as she insisted "You're just jealous; and here I thought you liked watching me strut my stuff in front of a bar full of hooting and hollering degenerates."

Jodi was right, which didn't stop Alex from grumbling "Oh sure, but this time you'll have to share the spotlight," something he didn't think for a minute his ballsy spotlight loving wife would mind one little bit. But, all he got for his troubles was an expressively huffy snort. So, much as he might have longed for a transporter beam, he steered for Lana's.

Jodi still hadn't said anything about Lana's costume when they pulled up in front of her apartment. Alex got out, almost slamming the door on his cheery "Back in a flash babe." He wasn't, but being a gentlemen he didn't blame it on Lana. She was ready; it had just taken Alex a while to stop staring. He managed a half-strangled "Oh fuck," before his tongue failed him. Lucky not to have tripped over that troublesome tongue, after failing to muster up a wolf whistle, he managed to get out an understandably lame "Damn girl, I'm not even sure you're strictly street legal." Lana beamed, turning a slow three-sixty, showing off a plaid skirt that almost covered her curvy ass and a gauzy blouse so right next door to transparent that it did nothing to hide a pair of otherwise spectacularly bare tits. If he hadn't been too busy eyeing the dark crinkly areola, or the rock hard nipples on prominent display, who knows, he might have wondered what the chances were of there being panties lurking under that miniscule skirt. After admiring Lana's impromptu floor show, he collected two overloaded bags of groceries. And, embarrassed to have been caught gawking, he covered with a compliment. "Hey, nice beret, it, well sort of matches your shoes." Lana shook her head resignedly, because her beret was red and her six-inch stilettos were a gleaming black.

Alex trailed the girls in to My Shrink, and nobody noticed him. Nothing new there; so, already signaling for a beer, he dropped on to a stool. It was Leslie, Guy's part-time bartender and full time girlfriend who slid a frosty pint his way. Seeing her costumed as a Starfleet Security Officer, he gave her the Vulcan salute and called out "live long and prosper."

On the lookout for other heavenly bodies, Alex slowly swept his eyes around the bar, sipping his beer as he reflected that Mister Spock wouldn't have appreciated the way one of his Enterprise crewmate's red tunic snugged around her clearly plus-sized breasts. But, he would certainly have quirked a questioning eyebrow at the way Leslie's stretchy black pants clung suggestively to her curvy ass. He failed to spot any other crewmates; but then, among the boisterous crowd there were only a couple of costumed revelers, both of them unmistakably female. Ah well, Alex thought. Bummer, but none of them are quite as intriguingly female as Jodi, Lana, or Leslie for that matter. Then, his gaze swung back to where Guy, out from behind the bar had one big arm wrapped around Jodi's waist as he kissed Lana. It would have been hard to miss, and Alex didn't. He deliberated, wondering if the hand he saw roaming up under Lana's plaid skirt had also slipped in through the slit running half-way up Jodi's Habit. Assuming Guy had kissed Jodi first, he decided it had. Chuckling, he imagined his wife's sharp intake of breath when Guy's ass fondling hand slipped between her thighs. Yup, she's always been a sucker for a guy wearing leather, he reminded himself, and especially one decked out like a rampaging Viking. What he didn't know was just how much looser the laces securing her Viking boy-toy's leather britches were, not that he would have had any trouble picturing her fingers wriggling through them on the hunt for the silky feel of hard cock. Actually, he wouldn't have expected anything less of his, anything but Angelic wife.

Guy headed for Alex, his studded vest exposing an expanse of hairy male chest, and Alex mused, abs that were five short of a full six-pack. The rest of Jodi's boy toy's Viking get-up, furry boots, sword, axe, and horned helmet Alex figured came from a costume shop. That helmet's jutting horns, Alex noticed, were in danger of snagging the collection of confiscated panties hanging above My Shrink's back bar. They shook hands, Guy glancing back over his shoulder as he quipped "No shit Alex, those two are more dangerous than a wagon load of nitroglycerin." Spock like, Alex quirked an eyebrow. "Cool outfit dude," Guy said, his eyes riveted to Leslie's backside. "Well Mister Spock outranks a mere Security Officer; which, I suppose doesn't matter, seeing as how she goes for the strong silent type."

"Right," Alex fired back. "Like as if anyone ever mistook you for the silent type. Of course, it's not as if I'd be opposed to pulling rank, not that with Leslie I'd have to."

Seeing his friend was distracted, Alex followed his gaze. He spotted Lana and Jodi over by the pool table, not sure why Guy looked nervous. They weren't exactly spotlighted, but under the pool table's bright light Lana's gauzy blouse went from merely see-thru to utterly transparent; which, Alex figured just might explain the drop in the bar's background hubbub. But then, he hadn't missed the way Jodi stood there grinning as she suggestively screwed the tip of a cue stick in to a cube of green chalk, while artfully exposing a long, long length of fishnet clad leg and somewhat more than just a suggestion of bare ass. So, maybe he should have understood Guy's nervous sounding "Oh shit, here we go."

"Oh Jesus," Alex gasped. "You remember, the last time she played pool in here she offered to blow anyone who beat her."

"Yeah, and that had every freaking guy in the freaking bar slapping a quarter down on the side rail. Ah, me too as I recall," a laughing Guy somehow managed to get out. "You got her out of here, but you're lucky not to have been lynched," he almost soberly added.

"Yeah, well guess who didn't talk to me for two days," Alex asked. "She would have done it too, not that most of those sorry fuckers could have beaten her."

"So true," Guy agreed, his eyes locked on the sight of Lana's nearly bare ass as she lined up a shot. "Good Christ Alex Lana might as well be topless, and Jodi, well the first time she bends over and stretches for a shot those pretty tits of her's are going to fall right the fuck out of that so called Habit she's wearing."

Also eyeing Lana's well-exposed ass, Alex shook his head, muttering "I suppose." Definitely not meaning it, he offered "So, should we try to stop it?"

Guy's "What, are you nuts," was concise and to the point, and it only elicited a chuckle from Alex. So, they watched and waited, along with a cheering crowd of boozed-up onlookers. And maybe Jodi's breasts would have wound up spotlighted, who knows? It hadn't happened, at least not before Jodi made her trip to the bar.

Jodi was flicking her tongue around the salty rim of a Tequila shot, when her screeched "No way, oh my God Lana, you are just so busted," sent startled heads whipping around. Drinks were spilled, and even Leslie treated the granite bar top to a generous helping of Jack Daniels. Alex and Guy weren't immune, Guy's quick survey locking-in on a school girl lacking any pretense of innocence. Alex sat there calmly shaking his head, his attention on his growling wife. But then, Alex was just as clueless as everyone else. None of them got it, at least not right away. It wasn't until Jodi had stormed over, her shot forgotten, her voice a growl as she reached out and lifted what little there was of Lana's skirt. "You agreed no panties. Right, and now you're going to pay for your treachery, she coldly explained to an unconcerned appearing Lana. And, not sounding much like a forgiving Nun, she added a contemptuous "Ooh, I'm just so mad, and you're so going to pay."

"Whatever," Lana protested, earning a rousing cheer when she added "Yeah, well I suppose I could just take them off."

"Oh no you don't," Jodi growled. "No darling, we have an audience, and I just bet they'd rather watch me do it," she said, in what Alex recognized as a dangerously subdued voice. "Uh-huh, and then they can all just sit there and drool; because, I'm going to spank your bare ass until it just fucking glows."

Probably not everyone caught Lana's soft snicker or the defiant "So, go for it already," that came out sounding an awful lot like a dare to Alex.

"Fine, so assume the position," Jodi ordered, her voice ringing around the bar., Lana maneuvered herself in to position, arms stretched out ,her hands braced on a side rail, her skirt hiked up and out of the way. Jodi stepped in; looking supremely smug as she quickly surveyed her audience. Eyes flashing with mischief from beneath her Wimple, Jodi casually ran a hand over Lana's well-exposed ass. Then, with a ringing whoop she worked her fingers in to the waistband of her tiny thong. Another, and even louder whoop and that thong was down around Lana's thighs. Jodi squatted, but it wasn't Lana's thong she eyed as she worked them off over spiky high-heels. She tossed them to Guy, along with a snappy "Here you go stud, another trophy for the bar."

Guy snatched them out of the air. And, almost no one noticed him toss them to Leslie; because, back at the pool table Jodi had used a foot to ease Lana's legs apart, not that it had taken all that much easing in Alex's opinion.

Guy, who had his hands on Leslie's ass, steadying her as she drove a tack through Lana's thong and in to the ceiling above the bar was shaking his head, barely believing the uproar,. But then, while staring admiringly up at the fully formed camel toe Leslie was showing, he muttered a disgusted "No shit, you'd think they'd never seen a pussy before."

"Don't even think it," Leslie warned, almost as if she had been reading Guy's mind. And, she was right; as Guy would have put it, she's close enough for government work anyway. Erring on the side of discretion, instead of working a thumb in to that well-defined bit of camel toe, he swung Leslie around and settled her on her feet.

Alex figured every eye in the place was locked in on Lana's targeted ass; well, at least the ones not staring at her pussy. It didn't matter, they all got to watch Jodi paddle bare ass. She did it hard, just not quite hard enough to leave it glowing. Alex wasn't surprised; after all, Jodi was using her bare hand. Still, by the time Jodi stopped, Lana's ass was a much brighter shade of pink, just nowhere bright enough to light-up an otherwise dimly lighted bar.

"Hey Lana, you're supposed to say, thank you, may I have another," Leslie called out to a chorus of hoots and whistles. Her timing had been perfect, laughter easing the room's sexual tension. Jodi and Lana were the only one's not laughing, busy, playing kissy face and oblivious to their laughing, formerly spellbound audience.

"Hey Jodi we never did get to see your titties," one of My Shrink's regulars called out unaware that he was sitting just one bar stool away from her grinning husband. Jodi's head came up, and Alex knew, one look had been enough.

Spinning on his stool, Alex answered the guy two stools down the bar. "Friend, I think you're going to get your wish."

Jodi waved, her lip-licking grin a message aimed straight at her smiling husband. Obliging the chant of "Tits, tits, tits...," Jodi scooped her breasts out, freeing them from her low cut, scooped neck Nuns Habit. Pandemonium ensued, following her as she danced around the bar, the firm breasts she was so proud of barely jostling as she dodged and sidestepped, mostly avoiding her audience's reaching hands. Never taking his eyes off Jodi, Guy jabbed an attention getting elbow in to Alex's ribs. "You know, one of these days...," he prophesied, voice trailing off as his thought went unfinished.

Alex replied with a shake of his head and a knowing "Yup." But, he was chuckling, his eyes following his cavorting wife as he asked "Yo dude, when will you and my crewmate be ready to split?"

"Just as soon as Roger and Anita show up, which should be any minute now," Guy replied. And, having been reminded of the party, he asked "Hey, did Brian ever tell you just what the fuck that crazy semi-nymphomaniac he's married to has in mind?"

"That would be no," Alex answered, watching as his bare-breasted wife greeted Roger with a none to Nun like hug. Anita had walked in with Roger, which didn't stop Jodi from giving Guy's openly bisexual barmaid a passionate kiss along with an enthusiastically delivered hug. The fact that they had arrived together hadn't gone unnoticed, which explained Guy and Alex's knowing nods.

Brian greeted them at the door wearing a black masquerade mask and a set of green Hospital scrubs, his St. Feelgood I D Badge reading Dr. Biggus Dickus above the slogan, ALWAYS FOLLOW YOUR DOCTORS ORDERS. After a flurry of greetings Jodi, Lana, and Leslie left the boys to deal with Jackie's cover charge, but not before Lana had leaned in to stage whisper "Gosh Doc, maybe I should make an appointment. I mean, lately I just can't seem to cum more than three or four times a night."

Jodi caught Lana's hand yanking it away from Biggus Dickus's already swelling namesake. "Seriously Lana," she mocked. "Chill girl, and just maybe we'll find you a nice Pediatrician."

The guys paid Jackie's cover charge, and then Brian helped them move the bagged groceries in to a garage already overflowing with packed bags of goodies intended for the Shelter. Chores taken care of they headed for the house, Alex asking Brian "What's with the mask anyway guy?"

Slamming on the brakes, Brian banged the heel of one palm off his forehead. "Like oops, it's another one of Jackie's ideas, this one even dumber than most of them. Anyway, I've got white ones for the pure of heart, and black for those of the more liberal persuasion. Yeah, and, just in case you're wondering, she's dead set on enforcing that fucking no fucking rule; but then, there's always the auction block."

They walked back in on a boisterous crowd of costumed revelers and followed Dr. Biggus Dickus to his assigned post at the front door. There, as he explained the rules to a pair of newcomers, Chuck and Ellen who were costumed as Devils, He passed out masks, white for them and black for Alex and Guy. Alex introduced the Devilish couple to Guy, surreptitiously checking out Ellen's nearly bare rear end, marveling that his usually straight-laced friend let her out of the house dressed so revealingly. Besides a tail, horns, and a sprinkling of red glitter her costume was a Brazil cut teddy, fishnet across the breasts and everywhere a marvel of sequined flames. Masks in place the Devilish couple wandered towards the den Tails swishing. Thinking how nice it would be if Chuck just up and disappeared in a puff of red smoke, Alex sighed wistfully. Then, following Guy, they abandoned Brian and headed for the bar, where a scantily clad French Maid was pouring drinks. While Guy talked shop with the openly flirtatious barmaid, Alex looked around. He quickly spotted Jodi standing with Lana, and what he supposed was the Grim Reaper himself, a fetching Pirate Wench, and a sweet young thing all dolled up as a Genie. Even behind black masks he recognized Mike and his wife Tina, long time swinger friends. Then, realizing that Genie was their daughter Brit, he mouthed a silent "Fuck me, didn't she just turn twenty?"

Guy, shot-down, but undaunted and looking forward to a return engagement headed off in search of Leslie. It seemed like an opportune time; so Alex decided to mosey on over and get a closer look at Genie. Wondering just what he'd have to rub in order to get a wish, he reached in to Mister Spock's shoulder bag and pulled out a black mask. Carefully, he worked its elastic band over his pointy ears. Right, he thought. Like, as if Spock would have been caught dead wearing one.