All Comments on 'Awakening Ch. 04'

With a new part everyday...

But please keep on spoiling us!

I like the storyline A LOT!

I don't know how far you intended to get with this, but the way you started, you might keep at this for many, many chapters to come. Four chapters up, and he still hasn't even left the hospital! Though the chapters might be short, you've dished them out pretty quickly, so I can only hope that you continue the trend.

Now, as for the idea itself, like I said - it's pretty damn good! It has potential, and since he is only just discovering his new power, you might as well go so far as to say there will be even more abilities that this power enables in the future, as he practices and discovers them, of course.

This is the first story/serial of yours I've read, btw, and I can see you have a nice writing style. The story itself is engaging, interesting, and it's a big plus. First person narrative, too; that one rarely fails to make a connection with the reader.

As for the sex scenes, throughout the entire Awakening, they were quite hot and aplenty! The plenty of sex scenes is a plus, though I gotta say that I am personally very, very interested in the mind abilities' aspect of this story. I'll go so far as to suggest that you build a bit more on it, with a bit less (or even more to the point) shorter sex-sessions within his mind, so that you can concentrate a bit on the backbone. You've shown plenty of the sex scenes so far, and it was an excellent overture for his discoveries, so you might focus it a bit more on the few girls and encounters that the main character might want to develop a relationship with.

And to the point of the diversity, by all means, go the whole nine yards when it comes to genres of erotica in this if you want to! Don't limit it to mind control!

Cheers!

-Nx

I'm a lazy reviewer, sorry. But I liked this story so far and hope you'll be going somewhere with it, beyond the obvious sex itself. Thanks for sharing your work with us!

Looking fwd to next chapters. Particularly like how your main character does not manipulate people in the scenes.

Honestly I had to quit reading. The way it’s written , I couldn’t tell when he was dreaming and when he was awake. Frustrating, having to stop and try to figure what’s happening. Interrupting the read, and making it difficult to follow. Sorry, 1 star