Back to School

BACK TO SCHOOL

Rodney Fields had the blahs. He'd been that way for two months, maybe more. He was medium size, forty-six, but looked younger because of his thick brown hair. He was in okay shape, decent BMI and didn't get out of breath much jogging to work. He had his own CPA firm, and it was doing quite well. So, that wasn't the problem.

Rod was married to Ellen Fields, nee, Clarke. She was forty-four, and looked younger as well. She was also medium size, with brown hair but blue eyes. She was an administrative assistant at a local law firm, and had been for sixteen years. She was good at it, but it was the same job from one year to the next.

The two had a pretty good sex life, all in all. Rod thought so, and Ellen did, too. They had sex maybe once or twice a week. Perhaps they had fallen into a pattern. But they almost always ended up satisfied-sexually.

They had two children. Joy was twenty-four and working as a nurse in a nearby city. She was married, but there were no kids yet. William was twenty-two and just graduated from college. He was going to law school in the fall. He wasn't married, but had a steady girlfriend, Patty Garcia. They lived together and had just moved near the school he would attend.

All in all, Rod should have been happy. The same could be said for Ellen. She should have been happy.

But Rod had the blahs, and Ellen was restless.

Ellen did not have a college degree. She and Rod met at school, and fell for each other hard when she was nineteen and he twenty-one. The next year she got pregnant. It wasn't Rod's fault. Ellen forgot her diaphragm one night. Boom. She was going to be a mother. Rod got a decent job out of school, and Ellen dropped out to be a mother. She thought about going back but then William came along. Not an accident this time.

By the time the kids were in full time school, she simply wanted to work outside the house. So, she got a job at the same firm that she still worked for, all these years later.

Ellen could tell that Rod was depressed. Hell, she was in the same rut. It was early March, and they had booked a beach condo for July. While she was doing that, she ran across some stories about the college kids who flocked to the beach in the summer. The town just south of where they always went had had some problems last year. Some arrests for being drunk and disorderly. Some indecent exposure arrests. She read about all that. She thought about when she and Rod were students. Actually, she thought about when she was a coed, before she met Rod. She had been free to have sex with anyone she wanted. She had used that freedom sparingly. Two guys got all the way with her before Rod. Neither of them made her orgasm. She didn't stay with either of them for long.

Rod made her cum the first time they had sex. He was experienced. He made her cum with his tongue. Then he fucked her missionary and she came then, too. It was a revelation to her. Now, she thought: 'Rod's the only guy who ever made me come. I should call them Rodgasms.'

That entire line of thought led her to the idea that she could go back to college and get her degree. It would be in biology, and she could get teaching credentials. It would allow her to change jobs, become a high school teacher. She could minor in chemistry. Schools always needed science teachers. She researched that. She believed that with a degree, and credentials she could easily get a job locally.

While Ellen was researching what it might take for her to get those degrees, Rod was downstairs watching a basketball game. The U was playing Clemson. The U was getting waxed, and Rod fell asleep. He slept for thirty minutes and when he awoke, the basketball was over. There was a mixed martial arts bout being shown. Rod glanced at it, then he became more interested. In his early years, he had trained as a boxer. He didn't make the team at the U, and gave it up when he got married. But these MMA guys interested him. Rod decided to see about doing some of that, at a gym nearby that he knew trained MMA people. Fuck golf. He needed more excitement.

Rod went to Williams' Gym the next day. He spoke to the owner, Jimmy Williams, about joining up. Jimmy asked him about any experience, and then took a month membership fee from Rod. He also sold Rod some kit and assigned him a locker. Rod dressed, put on the gloves, and started hitting a heavy bag. It was morning, and not too many people were there. Jimmy watched Rod, and saw that, contrary to expectations, Rod could punch with some power. Especially with his right hand. But Rod couldn't kick worth shit. Still, because of the punching he saw, Williams started giving Rod pointers on how to kick, off a punch, and then from a stance.

Rod was wrapped up in the experience. But he had to stop, because his hands hurt. When he looked at the clock, he found that he'd spent almost three hours doing various punches and kicks. He showered up and went to the office, arriving after lunch, unable to use the computer because of soreness in his hands. He took some ibuprofen.

That night both Rod and Ellen were excited to see each other after work. Each saw right away that the other was excited. Both thought it odd.

Ellen was reticent about her news, because she knew it might cause problems with Rod. So, she encouraged Rod to tell her about his day. Rod did tell her. Ellen was appalled.

"You're going to fight again? I hated when you boxed. And...I hear the other stuff is worse. You'll be maimed or killed."

"Nah. I'm using it for workouts, instead of golf. No worries. I saw you were excited when I came in. What's up?"

Ellen hesitated. "I was thinking I needed a change."

Rod's heart skipped and he stared at her. "What change?"

"I looked into going back to college, getting my degree and teaching credentials. Then I could switch jobs."

Rod was relieved. For a second, he believed she was changing away from him. The marital malaise made that a possibility.

He said, "How would it work? Can you transfer credits to a school nearby?"

She said, "I can get over two full years credit, almost three, based on what I did when I was in school. The teaching credentials take six months. It would take two years, about."

"Well, I approve. We have enough money. We don't need your income. We both seem ready to do something different. Where will you apply?"

Rod knew that there were two colleges near their home, within a half-hour drive.

Ellen looked unsure. "That's the thing. I would have to do it at the U."

"Why? That's a two-hour drive away. Do they do remote?"

"No. I'd have to live on campus, or near it. I have to do in-person classes."

Rod was now agitated. "You mean you want to be away at school for two years?"

"Parts of two years. I'd come home weekends, and summers."

Rod said, "I have to think that one over. That's a big switch in our lives. Right off, I feel a little insecure about it."

"Why?"

"You and I would see one another far less frequently."

"We'd have weekends, and six weeks in the summer. Unless I went then, too, and sped things up."

"Lemme consider."

"Okay. But, you know...... I'll factor in your opinion."

"I see." Things were a bit cool for the rest of the evening.

Rod did think it over. He was a person who was able to be honest with himself. He thought that if Ellen was at the U, amidst all those randy college guys, she'd possibly end up in bed with one or more. He knew that this was his main worry. But he didn't know quite how to bring it up.

Ellen also thought about things. She was at first puzzled by Rod's negative reaction. Then she considered the process by which she came to the idea of going back to school. The rowdy college crowd at the beach. Bacchanalia.

She decided that Rod didn't trust her to remain faithful if she was at school, two hours away. She was angry at that thought. But, then she rethought the process. She decided that Rod could have a point. She was hit on by guys a lot, even at forty-four. When she was here, coming home each night, she was seldom tempted. Everyone was tempted some. But here, she could deal with it. However, she didn't know, not really, what might happen if some handsome, younger guy hit on her at the U, where she could take that guy to bed on a whim. She thought that she and Rod should have a discussion about this. But then she couldn't think what she would say. Would she be honest and say that it might happen? Or would she tell him in no uncertain terms that she wouldn't cheat. If she did take that tack, would it be a lie?

Ellen's mood was a strange one. She lay in bed, stomach a roil. And she also felt a tingle of sexual arousal, thinking about handsome college guys who most certainly would be after her at the U. She admitted to herself that if she went back to college at the U, she'd be very likely to have sex with other men. The thought made her wet. So, she became even more certain that eventually she'd sample what might be available at the U. However, she made up her mind that she would fight the (losing) battle to stay faithful to Rod. She went to sleep dreaming of rowdy college guys.

Meanwhile, before he fell asleep, Rod decided that he should meet the issue of his insecurity about Ellen's fidelity head on. He fell asleep, about the same time as she did.

Ellen woke up at two am. She remembered her dream. She woke Rod up by stroking his cock. Rod woke up erect. Ellen loomed over him. She leaned in and kissed him. Then she pulled up her nightgown and mounted Rod, lowering herself onto his cock. It was a cock that had always done the job for her. It did the job for her this night, as well. She came almost immediately, and then again a few minutes later when Rod shoved deep into her, pulling her down, as he let out a torrent of cum.

Ellen collapsed on top of Rod, whispered into his ear, "I love you. I love your big cock."

Rod smiled. But before he fell asleep, he wondered what caused Ellen to attack him in the middle of the night. That had not happened in ages. Now, her plan to go back to college had provoked this. He decided that if she went, she'd fall into faithless sex eventually.

The next morning, over scrambled eggs, Rod looked up at Ellen and said, "I'm afraid that if you spend two years back at the U, you'll fuck other guys."

She smiled at him. "I knew this would come up. I promise you that I will not do that. I promised to be faithful when we married. I've kept that promise. I intend to keep it for the rest of my life. Anyway, you have a big cock, and I'm always satisfied." Ellen thought that was the best she could do.

"It's different -- easier -- here than it will be there. I love you. I kind of trust you. But you're human. And humans fuck up."

"I want to do this. It's for us, not just me. We've both been blah and depressed."

Rod said, "True that. Are you sure you can't go locally and live here?"

"Yes. These places would admit me as a rising sophomore." This part was true.

'I can't see how...I believe you want to be faithful. But I also think it would be so easy for you to mess up."

"What it I did? I wouldn't fall in love with some college boy. You're my man."

"When I'm around, I may be your man. If I'm not there, you may make a temporary substitution. I'm not sure I'd tolerate that. AND....when you were there, I'd always wonder. Easy for you to hide a slide."

He stared at her. He thought the situation was clear to both of them. They both thought she'd fuck around, eventually.

"I won't do it. I admit you have a reason to worry. I won't do it." She thought, 'And if I did, how would you know?'

She smiled at him. He read that last thought in that smile.

Weeks passed. Rod kept up with his MMA training. He was getting in very good condition, although his hands suffered. He started wearing fat gloves, unless he was sparring. He was sparring now, with guys his size. Sometimes, inevitably, he'd come home a little messed up. If it was his face, Ellen would see it right away. More often it was his body, and she would find out in bed, with sex usually. They were having sex a lot more often now than before. Five or six times a week. A marital record, absent the honeymoon.

Ellen enrolled in courses at the U. She was to start in late August. She had a room with graduate students in a mixed dorm. She was looking forward to this. Her firm knew she was gone at the end of July.

Rod had expressed his misgivings a few times. But he could see that it did no good. He was just going to have to suck it up -- and hope that she didn't.

Rod decided that he would like to keep better track of Ellen when she left. He installed a monitor program on her laptop, and one on her cell phone. Stuff he got from his IT guy at work.

Rod was getting better at the MMA thing. He had given up golf entirely. The main reason he was improving was his simmering anger at Ellen, which he took out on the heavy bag, and at times on a sparring partner. Jimmy discouraged that once. But then he thought, it was fighting, after all. And Rod was getting good at it. If he punished someone, the guy could try to punish him back. Jimmy thought Rod had a real edge to him, and some talent.

Rod and Ellen had a great time at the beach condo. Rod ran every morning in the surf, and they had good food each evening, and good sex, as well. However, Rod was always a small bit uneasy, even on vacation.

When they returned, Rod sat down one day and tried to get to understand his constant worries. He was a person who could cast out most common assumptions and start thinking from a cleaner perspective. Some people called that thinking outside the box. Rod did that about the problem of Ellen's absence.

He started to peel back the layers of his concern. The basic thing was Ellen sleeping around. He asked himself why that was so important to him. It was a difficult question. If she did fuck guys at school, and he didn't know, there would be no difference to him. (Unless she got a disease and gave it to him. He discounted that.) But, he felt he would always be suspicious that she was unfaithful. So, it was just as if she announced it to the world. He would always be unsure. Ellen hadn't even tried hard to reassure him.

And, if she did simply say to him that she was going to be open to other sexual partners, what should his reaction be? In his gut, he cared deeply and was angry. He thought that this most intimate experience should be only for him, between the two of them, and not shared. He thought that if Ellen didn't feel the same now, he would......never get over it.

He thought about the 'only sex' defense of infidelity. The one that argues that sex is more like eating. A wife could eat a meal with others, no problem. Then she could come home and have a good, even intimate, dinner with her spouse. But to Rod, sex -- married sex -- was way more intimate and important that a meal. If one partner went outside the intimacy, and shared their body with others, there was no intimacy at all. No two as one.

There was just sex.

All sex would become just sex, including sex with a spouse.

Rod knew he could get 'just sex' almost any time he wanted. For sure Ellen could do that. They'd promised not to break their bond. They hadn't, either. Yet.

Rod decided that if Ellen did sleep around at university, their marriage would be one in name only, and so dead. He acknowledged to himself that their marriage had not saved them from the doldrums these last months. He didn't believe that the marriage itself was the cause of the doldrums. More like a routine too long followed, followed into boredom.

He thought that the idea of Ellen switching up, getting a degree and teaching was a good solution to her doldrums, and maybe his as well. It was the absence, her far away, that rankled. Also, her obvious, to him, fascination with the idea of being a sexual free agent.

Rod sat down and wrote out all these thoughts. He worked hard to make the presentation ordered, but emotional. It took him several hours to complete, even after he had reached his conclusions. Some of them were altered, slightly, in the writing. He printed it all out. Then he decided to write it longhand. He copied it that way. He ended it with the sentence: I love you so much.

That night after dinner, only a week before Ellen was going off on her adventure, Rod told Ellen he had something for her to read. He gave her the written pages. He watched closely as she read them. Her face went through a series of expressions. At first, she appeared to be annoyed. Then her expression softened. She was reading slowly, with complete attention. Twice she stopped and seemed lost in thought. Toward the end -- when she'd reached the part where he concluded that infidelity would end the marriage - she started to leak tears. She read the last sentence and sobbed. She threw herself into his arms, and he hugged her for a long time as she cried.

After some time, she leaned back, looked him directly in his eyes and said, "I will not have sex with anyone but you. You're my true love. My only true love."

They went upstairs and he made love to her, and she to him. He found that he believed her statement now, though he hadn't before.

As for Ellen, she had been really revved up as the time approached for her to go back to school. A part of that was her titillation at the idea of being...pursued by young guys. She had become more and more accustomed to the idea that she could have such adventures -- as part of the whole college experience that she had missed out on.

The two of them had a wonderful time at the beach, relaxing in the sun. She had been excited, and she missed Rodney's undercurrent of anxiety.

She did sense that as the departure date approached. She believed that he would adjust. She had not worked very hard to reassure him about the possible flings. At first, she did. But then she'd been flippant and jokey about it. She had concluded that he had come to terms with it.

When she started reading his letter -- that was what it was, a letter to her -- she had been annoyed, starting toward anger. But as she read on, all of it made sense to her. She could find nothing in the letter that she disagreed with. She felt so devastated that she had been about to screw up their long, wonderful marriage. She cried. When she read his final line, she flung herself into his arms, sure that she would always be his, only his.

She remembered saying to him, after their lovemaking that night, "You saved me. You saved us."

ELLEN AT COLLEGE

Armed with her new resolve to be ever faithful to Rod, Ellen went off to her big adventure. Rod rented a van, dropped her off at her residence, and carried in some stuff. A lot of stuff, it seemed. He gave her a long kiss goodbye and drove off.

Ellen was well prepared for her classes. All summer she had studied up to refresh her prior knowledge. Also, there had been a lot of new things that happened in her fields. She was ready. More than ready. The academics were no problem. She sailed through the classes. She wasn't reticent in class, as she'd been as a teen. She was having a ball.

The social aspects of university were a slightly different matter. As she had anticipated, the young men in her classes, and those in her residence, were interested in her. Some made crude advances, some were more sophisticated. None of them had a chance.

But her actual danger -- the first one -- came from a different direction. Her advanced organic chemistry professor was a thirty something fellow, big, very blond and, as far as she could see, really cut. Henry Carter. He was an Associate Professor, with newly granted tenure. He had several published research articles.

She was sometimes breathless when he was around. That was partly because he gradually paid serious attention to her, in class and, increasingly, out of class.