All Comments on 'Barbecue and Sex in Family Ch. 01'

You butchered the English language, you have more grammatical errors than Carter's got liver pills, and you need an editor in the worst way.

that was mental

Needs a good editor to look this over. Very hard to read as it is.

Use some tags!

Sex between men is so hot. Father / son sex is out if this world. Family sex is special.

I could not finish reading this . . . story ?

Man, are you mixed up, drunk, on drugs, a virgin ?

I challenge you to Proof Read this story !

Following your own reading, find assistance!

Your desire to write pornographic literature does not mean that you will generate even average porn.

That desire to write should direct you to generate more offerings of, HOPEFULLY, readable literocica.

The writing is terrible. Needs an editor to rework the lot.

I agree with sp9983 entirely, although, I imagine that as a Brazilian, English is, professor, NOT your first language.