by JonThomas_
There are so many errors both formating and grammatical. An editor would help you. Interesting plot but I got lost in the errors. Gave it a shot and read a few chapters but there was very little improvement. The narrator breaking the fourth wall is awful as well.
Needs improvement.
it was good but I do prefer when your chapters are longer and I do so hate waiting forever for chapters.
That was great. I hope we don't have to wake to long for #5 to be published.
(Bigd1965bigd)