All Comments on 'Becoming Reparations Pt. 01'

Don't mind the racist troll, it's an excellent start to a story! can't wait for more!

A few typos made it through so don't rely on spell check. A second pair of experienced or trained eyes can be very helpful.

Please continue with this. I love the story and how it's building towards something more. Can't wait to see what happens next. Oh and don't listen to the negatives on here. They're just jealous they don't possess an ounce of your talent.

Losers who don’t dare leave their name with their words aren’t worth listening to. I would like to read more.

I'm so sorry... It's not very good

I thought it was a good start! I can't wait to see how this submissive girl does in the future...

I appreciate the encouragement so far! I'm looking for an editor starting with part 2. My main focuses on editing will be:

1) Sensitivity--while I am writing this for a specific Black Man, I would value another's opinion.

2) Story and character development. Part 2 is shaping up to be a lot of sex, ending with plot and character development. I want to ensure that I continue telling a story rather than simply writing a porno.

3) Proofreading. I went back after it was published and noted a few places where a wrong word was typed or a sentence didn't say what I wanted it to say.

Tiffany will be impregnated by Mr Shaw to the shame of Stephanie with blushing red cheeks which alerts Tiffany to her mother's overt racism. She throws a challenge to Mom to apologize to the unborn child in her growing belly and taking notice of Stephanie's voluptuous body, challenges her to go on a diet and discipline program with her.

The running puts Stephanie out of shape and Tiffany puts her hard at work pumping iron in the garage and riding hard on the stationary bike with joints screaming for relief. Tiffany takes a look at the matronly clothes in Stephanie's closet and makes her dump them in trash bags before taking her shopping to buy clothes two sizes smaller to showcase her voluptuousness and shame her into dieting and working herself harder on the irons.

Mr Shaw impregnates Stephanie and she ends up having double work in taking care of both their babies under the stern glare of Mistress Tiffany!