All Comments on 'Belney the Supplicant Ch. 01'

I'm sorry, but you need to use quotation marks. Without them, this story is basically unreadable. Also, use smaller paragraphs, the ones you have are simply too large. So far it seems alright, and I'll keep an eye out for your next installment, but you seriously, <i>seriously</i> need to fix the format issues I mentioned earlier.

Duly noted Anon. I'm likewise sorry you found it basically unreadable. Unfortunately, chapters 2-5 are already moving down the pipeline past revision, so your frustration will most likely continue to grow, if you continue to follow along.

I'll consider the two suggested changes in format going forward.

I won't bother with a defense of the traditional paragraph, because on this site a reader is more likely to see things structured like a comic or graphic novel, which is all good. I'm adjusting.

As the author, posting four days later- my main regret is that I didn't smoosh Chapters one and two together. Chapter one has no sex, which if we're honest is why we come to a fantasy story about goblins and peasant babes. And it's too short. The chapter is. So my apologies!

Anyway- got that out of my system. carry on.

I do not share the previous 2 poster’s assessment that the story is unreadable as it stands.I actually enjoyed it and my imagination is piqued.Yes,I am dying for the sex to arise,but I’m OK waiting for that!