All Comments on 'Ben's Wife'

The storyline was good, but I’m afraid the story itself was not. Punctuation is defined so that the reader can understand your meaning; it makes your story readable. To put it in randomly, and to completely ignore quotation marks, is disrespectful to your readers, and doesn’t do justice to yourself. I guess English is either not your first language, or not your thing, so you have two options: either read up on grammar and punctuation rules, or work with an editor who can proof read, but also explain the reasons to you. If your spell/grammar checker highlights things for you, don’t just assume it’s wrong, check. You won’t then leave in oddities like ‘Aoch’. I’m afraid I won’t be reading the sequels you’ve already written. Pity.

I like the naughty thoughts, but the english could be better, and also the point of view is sometimes inside her mind, and sometimes just boring past tense or outside in view. I rather read it more from her perception, or in more detail.