All Comments on 'Best Friends Forever Pt. 06'

I learn something every time I read one of your stories.

I wonder how you'll ever be able to get to a climax that does justice to this long, tantalizing, almost unbearable buildup. It better be good! (but I have complete faith in you)

I am such an incredible fan of your stories. Your writing is so incredibly brilliant & you have such a gift to make your characters alive & empathic & in this case they are so full of love & affection for each other. Thanks my friend from your lesbian fangirl.

Sorry but I've not got an account yet nut I'm pretty sure that this is the Brian that is referred to in the first chapter of A Slut's Triangle if I'm not mistaken. In any case, you are a wonderful writer. I loved A Slut's Triangle and now finding this series is just fabulous. Thank you.

You request constructive critique:

"I boast"

"He begins"

"I explain"

"I confirm"

"He comments"

"He muses"

"He blurts"

"I offer"

"He jests"

"He assumes"

"I snicker."

""Are you going to put this in your diary, too?" He asks.

""Oh, you are, are you?" I inquire"

"Could you hand me that towel?" I request," - Question marks always means a question. No need to reiterate. On and on and on. Please stop doing that. It's very distracting and intrusive, as though you spend all your time searching for different tags to use for each line of dialogue. There is nothing wrong with the word "said" and sometimes you don't need a tag at all. For example, from above:

""Are you going to put this in your diary, too?" He asks, glancing down at his cock, then back up at me.

"Of course," I answer, taking a quick puff from my cigarette and snatching it away from my lips."

This could be:

"Are you going to put this in your diary, too?" He glances down at his cock then back up at me.

"Of course." I take a quick puff from my cigarette and snatch it, etc"

Just one example but do you see what I mean?

You ask for helpful critique, then when several people tell you the dialogue tags are annoying and cluttering the story, you say you like it that way. So why ask for feedback if you are going to ignore any suggestions people take the time to offer?

... you leave me looking forward to the next chapter.

Great chapter as always. I just love your style!

Just have trouble working out you tenses in the writing. For using present tense you almost pull it off. Not many can do that.

A little slow moving for my usual reading taste, but tantalizing and erotic, to keep me going.

Pay no attention to those Philistines. I relate to this story.

Thank you.

Mmmmm another awesome chapter. I really loved that you had then take a short break in the middle of the blowjob. That does happen in real life,but most writers ignore that tidbit.