Best Friend's Sister Ch. 06

"A typical teenager? I hope that's a good thing."

"I don't know. A typical Simpson teenager, maybe. You tell me. I'm not sure what a typical teenager is. But if Dad is a freaking sex addict or a habitual adulterer, then I guess I have his DNA. Certainly not something I want to admit to. What an asshole." She ran her hand along my arm to calm me down. "So I guess I was a horny little teenager when puberty hit, which was probably was around twelve or thirteen. Or given my DNA, maybe nine or ten. I'm sure it was paradise to some kid that had just left puberty behind."

"Oh, I get it now. For a horny little Simpson boy, it was like being in Mr. Eaton's Candy Shoppe."

"Yeah, it was. I can tell you a hundred stories and I know you'd like to hear them. Maybe not all of them. It just doesn't matter anymore. It feels like it all happened to someone else. Everyone has all these great memories of camp. Oh, Jack brought me to Jesus. Jack this and Jack that. I was there for twelve years with a ton of great memories and in one day they were poisoned by that idiot."

"David, that's him. That's not you."

"Goddamn freaking.. He needs to have a heart attack, that's what he needs. Every time I open up that door, it just stirs me up. It feels like there's so much in my head I don't want there and I don't know how to get rid of it. My brother seems to be the only one I can talk to. Yet when we talk, it's not good for either one of us. When we finish we're usually in a worse mood than when we started. I certainly don't want to share it with you. I don't want it my head, why would I put it in yours?"

"I'm sorry. I know I'm being rude. I can't lay on this blanket and act like I'm relaxed. When I reach this point I try to just avoid people. I have to move, work out. I'm sorry, Wanda. It doesn't make me very good company." It was rude, I know it was. I hopped up and went for the water or to walk down the beach. Someplace I could take my foul mood with me away from her. I was pretty deep into my dark thoughts, wrapped up in my pissy mood. I get rid of them eventually but it takes a while. I tried to avoid people when I reached that point. I made it a couple steps before something startled me. Something reached into my hand and I actually jumped.

"What the EFF?" That's how much it consumed me. I looked down to see a hand in mine and looked up to see Wanda. Her look was a mixture of some amusement and some worry about how tense I was.

I looked down at her hand in mine. I let out a deep breath, in through the mouth, out through the nose. Then I lifted her hand up and kissed it. "Thank you."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

We walked into the water together and let the water pound us before we got past the breakers. "Damn, look at you in that bikini. Aren't you sexy."

"I try to be."

"Well, you're doing a superb job."

We spent twenty minutes in the water getting beaten. She got tired of trying to keep her bikini up and I hated getting pounded by the waves. I'd almost drowned in OC two summers ago and after that I never trusted the ocean again. We headed back to the blanket to dry off and let the sun dry us off. "So, how about we spend time on the boardwalk? We can drop the stuff off and find someplace to eat."

"Sure. That'd be nice. Maybe we can find a shower up there. It'd be nice to get all this sand out my bikini."

"Yeah, my thong is rubbing me the wrong way."

"Let me see." Sticking a finger in my elastic and pulling my suit up.

"Stop! I'm saving that!" I tried to grab her hand and she just slipped it away from me. "I doubt there's anyone in the world I'd model a thong for. Not even you."

"I think I'll go shopping and get a whole bunch of stuff for you to try on. Then you can put on a fashion show for us."

"Us? Who's us? Oh, no. I hope have a choice in the matter. Am I supposed to just show up and put on whatever you give me? Or do I get to pick and choose?"

"No, no. Each and every little piece. It's in your contract, the one where you said you'd do anything for me."

"Contract? I want to know when I signed that. I bet there's a ton of small print on there I didn't read when I signed it."

"Betcha. You do know I'm inviting all my friends."

"Wonderful. Just wonderful. I feel like you're working up to ask me to dance at your bachelorette party."

"That's a great idea. Why didn't I think of that?"

"You make me feel like I'm a puppy. Come along, come along."

"Come on, let's pack up. I'll even leave your leash off."

We packed up the bits and pieces, folded up the blanket, and headed for the car. We dumped our stuff and headed over to find the shower. Oh, it was so nice to have clean water to rinse the sand out of everything. She toweled off and put on her t-shirt. She reached under and took off her bikini top and tossed it into our bag. I know she wasn't trying to be sensual or erotic or whatever but it brought a smile to my face. "Oh, stop. There's nothing there to see."

"I just want to make sure my investment's secure."

"Your investment. You need to put a down payment on them to even look at them and I'm sure you don't even want to know how much it would cost to be able to touch them. So, move on."

I put the bag in the car and grabbed something that fell out of the glove compartment. I grabbed my wallet, my keys, sunglasses, and we headed out. Her arm on mine, we walked down the boardwalk.

"So how much?"

"How much? You mean to look or to purchase altogether? It's not up to the girl. The guy has to make an offer. The RIGHT offer. One correct offer and the other twenty probably wrong."

"My god. It's a minefield."

"Come on. You already said it doesn't matter as long as it's true love. Happiness trumps all, right? The car, the house, the job, the money, the dog, the cat?"

"You are a cold splash of water in the face, do you know that? Don't you believe in romance anymore?"

"Of course, I believe love and romance. I just want it on my terms. I'm tired of guys that think they're the center of the universe and don't spend a moment thinking about me. Like you said. I want someone that focuses on my happiness, not theirs. That's my job. You said you have an open mind. So listen and learn and don't follow your impulses like you always do. Make the right decision. Don't hate the messenger. Didn't you say that once?"

"I'm sorry I asked. You just blew away most of the magic fairy dust right there."

"Welcome to reality. Don't ask a question if you don't want to hear the answer."

"Ah, you can't scare me. I'm eternally hopeful. And I'd like to see you happy. It makes me happy to see you happy. If that makes any sense."

"I know you do. You always have, even when we were younger. But let's return to the lesson. One good offer and a multitude of thoughtless ones."

"Hold on. What's the offer in the first place? Are we talking about just looking, a kiss, holding hands, a date, a night on the town, spending the night together, or even the ultimate: marriage and servitude?"

"Servitude? And you call me unromantic? I don't know. You're the one making the offer. Decide what the moment's right for. If you ask for too much, too quick, then it'll bomb. If you ask for something hot and heavy and she's only ready for a kiss at her door, you're way off. Lord help you if you're asking for marriage and she only wanted a night on the town, I don't know how you'd get over that. Yeah, it is does feel like a minefield, doesn't it?"

"Alright. Back to our offers. Offer number one: If he makes an offer and she laughs in his face, his offer was way too high. Ridiculous, probably. He might as well not make another. Offer number two: If she storms off in anger, even worse, but it's least it wasn't a laugh. He has a chance to catch up to her and try to sweet talk her. Offer number three: If she clams up and puts on a silent act, it's iffy, but she's still miffed about the offer. If he didn't realize he was being thoughtless, I hope he does now. Some guys have no clue how thoughtless they are. Offer number four: If she faints, then I think that might be a good thing, like he went above and beyond. Or she's pregnant. Offer number five: If she cries all over you, then that's perfect, as long as she's in your arms when she's doing it. Offer number six: This is an interesting scenario. If she asks you, which is known to happen, you have to be just as careful with your reply."

"I'm sorry I asked. We're gonna find a Barnes & Noble on the way home. What section is it in? Self-help, Romance, Fiction, Non-Fiction, Home Improvement, the dirty section. Is it a book or a magazine? I hope to god it's in English."

"Good luck with that. This is all secret girl stuff. I wasn't even supposed to tell you any of that. I'll get kicked out of the 'Girl's Club' for telling you that much. I can't help you any more than I have."

"Can't help me?! What good is that? What happens when I fall in love and I want your input?"

"You're so funny. You can spin me some tall tale until I have a conniption and I can't do it to you? What's the fun in that?"

"Oh, boy. I swallowed most of that like it was the truth. I still feel like most of it's true. I get under your skin and you just walk in my brain and mess with everything."

"You know you love it."

"You know, sometimes you're pain in the.."

"Please, you know you love that, too. Admit it."

I tried to keep my frown but it wasn't going to happen. I had to laugh out loud. "You're right, I do love it. You don't put up with anything. It's probably the best way to deal with my BS."

We walked on, looking in windows, looking for a place to eat, watching the sun sinking lower. It was September, I think. Summer was over and everyone had gone back to work. Not exactly prime shopping time for tourists but we stopped and looked in windows. We even stopped at a jewelry store but it was closed up. All we could do was look into the dark interior.

A car roared past, filled with a bunch of guys, that hooted and whistled. I'm still not sure how I felt about the whistles and cat calls. If they had stopped that would have been one thing. But they roared past and just wanted to share their appreciation. I looked at her. I always saw her beauty but then I could see what they saw. "Do you know what? You're hot, do you know that! That's what they were saying. You're hot and you're sexy, too." I was smiling but my eyes were taking her in. "Just when I thought I know all about you, a blind goes up and there's more to see."

"Stop. You're my brother."

I guess a bit of my smile drained away but I pressed on. There was no choice. "No. Sorry I'm not. That's what I said before. For a long time you were my little sister and loved you like a sister. Then I couldn't do it anymore."

"So, you don't even love me anymore? That sounds so sad."

"No." Looking down, scared to death. Once again she put her hand on my arm. You would think it would be a distraction but no, it helped me focus. I looked up at her, at her face, her eyes. Something I wanted to spend hours doing. "You're just so beautiful." I'm not even sure if I said it out loud but then she gave me a little smile, so I guess I did say it out loud.

"No. That's what it sounds like, doesn't it? But no. It doesn't just disappear. It can be hurt, of course. We know that. But it can grow and evolve and turn into something even better. I hope that's what happens."

"That sounds possible. I hope so, too."

"I guarantee all the things I feel aren't something I would tell my sister."

"And what's that?"

"What I've wanted all along. I want to wake up each morning with you in my arms."

"Mmm. That sounds pretty nice, to wake each day, wrapped up safe in someone's arms."

Someone's arms. Not my arms. Maybe it was just all in my head.

"Wanda...." Taking a deep breath to fortify myself. More scared than anything. "I can't remember a time I didn't love you. I love you now more than I ever have. It scares the hell out of me and if lose you forever, it doesn't matter. I can't keep it in anymore."

"How could you ever lose me? You're part of my life."

"I had to say it. You've got my heart. You've always had my heart."

She hadn't moved the conversation on, in any direction. It was all me, emptying my soul out, and she wasn't even going to meet me halfway. Should I have kept it all in and avoided this whole conversation? Avoided this trip and avoided her? No. I couldn't keep it in anymore. Keep it in or let it all out? Neither option seemed to bring me any peace of mind. Disengage, back away? Put it away? I doubted that was even possible. Was she humoring me or just letting me purge, like there wasn't any connection between us at all?

I was still on a knife's edge. She seemed pretty damn calm, which was infuriating. Not infuriating. No, it was disappointing. Not in her, in me I guess. I had left it too long and let her slip away.

I looked up at her. "I waited too long, didn't I? I lost you." More a whisper to myself than to her. A huge tear leaked out of me and ran down my cheek. I bet the end of the world felt this way. All of a sudden, the canyon was back between us. I dropped my eyes in grief and turned away from her and looked in the window of the jewelry shop. "I'm sorry we didn't get here in time. I would've gotten something for you."

"Come on, it doesn't matter. I have everything I need. We have plenty of time." She gave my arm a squeeze.

Then she turned us and slid her hands up my arms. Then she used one to wipe that tear away. She put her forehead on mine, just like in the car. "David. You never seem to believe me. You're allowed to be happy. It's not that hard."

I took a breath. "I don't think I have a clue how to do that."

"Come on, let's walk." She steered me away from the jewelry shop and up the boardwalk and she actually put her hand in mine, fingers intertwined. "I told you, being happy is a two-person job. There's no way to do it alone."

"I already tried some of those two-person things. They all went down in flames."

"I think you have to have the right ingredients or it's not going to work."

"There you go again. Cutting right to the heart of the matter. I never seem to be able to do that. I always get distracted by things that don't matter." I reached in my pocket looking for some gum, but ended with my keys, the gum, and my Mother's little pouch. I offered her a piece of gum but made sure to include my keys and Mom's little jewelry pouch.

"What's that?"

"Oh, it's my mothers. I forgot I had it in the car. It fell out when I got my wallet." I offered her a piece of gum, then put the gum and the keys away. "It's what's left of my mother's jewelry. Not much to show for all her hopes, is it? I took them to get appraised and then left it in car." I unzipped it and I brought out a tarnished charm bracelet that had seen better times.

"There're a lot of memories in that, aren't there?"

"Yeah, it's been through a lot, hasn't it?" It had hanging charms for my brother, my sister, and me, and other milestones in her life. "Not much to show for a life that didn't go as planned." I rooted around until I found an old pearl necklace that had yellowed long ago. I slipped the pouch into my shirt pocket, like it was empty, out of sight out of mind. I unclasped the necklace and put it around her neck. "I was hoping these were going to be worth something but I'm sorry, they said they weren't real. I think they'll look good with that T-shirt."

"Some fashion sense you have. I doubt you could pull off being gay. I bet you can't even snap your fingers. Come on, show me."

I flung my arm out and snapped my fingers. "Girlfriend!" I hope to god it came out straight.

"That's not working. You have a long way to go with that. Anything else? Silver is pretty valuable. That's usually worth something."

"I didn't think there was anything else." I pulled the pouch out of my pocket and struggled with the zipper. "She had this big jewelry box filled with drawers and hooks and a lot of tacky costume jewelry from the 70s. I'm a guy. What do I know about jewelry? I'm sorry we got rid of it. You might've found something in there you liked. Let alone those fifty purses and handbags in her closet." I finally got the zipper open and rooted around inside, like if anything was left it would be an earring or a hatpin. "Guess I was wrong. I didn't think there was anything left in there."

I pinched my mother's engagement ring, a garnet surrounded by diamonds and brought it out. I held it up so she could see. She took a big breath in and her eyes opened wide. I turned to her and let her touch it. "Would you like to try it on?" I'd pictured myself at this moment, strong voice, firm and confident. No, I was pretty damned scared.

She actually reached up to touch it and I would have given it to her. Then she stopped and looked me in the eye. "Would you put it on my finger?"

"There's nothing in the world I'd rather do." I took it and tried to slip it on but honestly my hands were shaking. She put her hands on mine to steady me and we slipped it on her ring finger. It fit perfectly. "Do you like it?" "I think it's beautiful." "Is there a chance you'll keep it on there forever?" "I think that's something we can do together." I slipped down and crouched on one knee. I held my hands on her hips and I was still shaking. "Wanda. Will you marry me?"

She gave me a little nod of yes. "Of course, I will. I was just waiting for you to ask." Then leaned down to give me gentle kiss on the lips. My breath was taken away like it always was. I let my head fall and rest on her. She ran her hands gently through my hair.

"Is this really happening? Is it possible?"

"Yes, David. It's happening. Just like it was meant to, all along. So, let me work on making you happy and you can do the same for me."

Suddenly something within me went up in smoke, something that had been wrapped around my heart, something I hadn't even known was there. Once it was gone, I recognized it only because of its absence. Like being in the midst of a heart attack and suddenly you're not. Indescribable pain then none. Unhappy then a burst of happiness, like the sun coming out after a storm. Would I believe it was possible and could I believe it was happening?

I reached for my chips and tossed them all in. In a burst of energy I was on my feet. My arms went around her and she was in my arms. I lifted her up and swung her around. She was so slim and my arms wrapped around her but she always my idea of perfection. After so much time, so much distance, I gave her the kiss I always wanted to give her. I pulled back and looked at her face, her eyes, her ears. I could hardly comprehend that now I could spend half an hour, one, even two, just looking at her.

"I remember that look. You remember what it feels like to be happy. Welcome back, my fiancé, my future husband."

"I remember. It was you. Through all those unhappy times and pain and suffering, it was you. I just forgot."

"Did you know that I loved you?"

"David. I've always known that you loved me."