Beware of Truth or Dare

Jan was in the kitchen, seemingly preparing dinner, looking as though she had been crying for hours.

"You make a store run? I saw you brought in a bag," Nick asked.

"No, just some things that I needed from the drug store that I had left in the car yesterday while I was driving around looking for you."

"Where did you... never mind, it doesn't matter," he followed up.

"I went to your golf club. I wanted to talk to her...Susan."

"Why would you do that?" he asked.

"I asked her to please not take my husband away from me."

"Jan, there's no chance of that."

"That's what Susan said, then confessed that she's not real good with being exclusive. She also told me that she knew for certain that you were in love with me."

"I AM in love with you, that's not the problem," he answered.

"She also asked if I had really said that you weren't my 'best ever' in front of friends. When I nodded that I had, she asked me if I was out of my mind to say anything like that, or just stupid.

"I told her that I had meant it as a tease. She said, 'There is no possible way to be funny saying that; and in front of friends? ... Damn... Would you be open to some advice?'

"When I said sure, she told me a couple of things," Jan conveyed.

"What things?" Nick asked.

"I can't say, it's a girl's secret pact," Jan replied with the first bit of a smile on her face since the Truth or Dare blunder.

[What Susan had told her was: "A woman should always be stoking up her man's ego, particularly in public. Tell him, and especially others that he's the strongest, the most handsome, the smartest, and number one on the list: the best sex partner ever. Just as you like to hear how you are the smartest, prettiest, sexiest, most loving wife possible. These things don't have to be 100% true, his belief that you see him that way is what is important. He craves to be your 'White Knight'... allow him that. Oh, and one other thing; look into his eyes with adoration and suck his dick to completion often. Just sayin', now don't let him know our secret, or it diminishes the results."]

"Baby, I don't know what to say," Nick began, trying to continue a civil conversation.

"Before we say anything else, answer me this. Do you still want to stay married to me?" she asked.

"I love you. And I'm sure I want us to remain together. But Friday destroyed me almost as bad as it did five years ago. My ego badly needed a boost, and along with the alcohol Saturday, my hurt pride convinced me to take advantage of the promise that you made to me, back when I agreed to stay married."

"I know what I promised you. It's been five years and I thought we were past your needing to get even. I sold myself that you had forgiven me and didn't need to be with another woman to hurt me," she replied.

"Baby, I..." he started, but Jan interrupted.

"No, don't apologize. I made that agreement; I just had no idea how bad it would hurt if you decided to call in my marker. Nicky, I'm so sorry that I caused you this awful, unending pain. I actually feel sick, thinking about you in her bed, doing things with her that should only be done with me. This situation that we are in is my fault, I have to own that. I accept the consequences of my mistake; I just want to remain your wife."

Instead of a verbal answer, Nick opened his arms and Jan rushed into them, each hugging the other desperately.

"Nicky, are we even now? I know that I agreed to more than one hall pass, but I don't think I can withstand it, if you intend to continue with that barmaid."

"I guess that you are the only one who knows the answer to that for sure, since I never pressed you for details when it happened. At the time, I was too devastated to ask. Even during the counseling sessions that we went through, I didn't ask if there was more. I guess that I didn't want to know if it was worse than what I already knew... What I was contemplating divorce over. I wanted it to be a forgivable mistake on your part. Was there more to it than I already know? Are we even baby?

Jan gasped. She struggled to keep it together and not break down. Her mind raced through possible responses and the likely consequences of each.

"What? There is more? What haven't you told me?" Nick asked with an irritated, yet frightened tone.

The moment of truth had arrived. Jan could fess up to her alcohol induced, lust driven threesome; the double penetration that produced the best sexual experience of her life. The one that would reveal that she had cheated with two men, not just one. Jan was certain that revealing that fact would most definitely cause her to lose her husband. That, or she needed to summon all of the strength that she could muster, look directly into her beloved's eyes and lie as convincingly as possible.

Jan had been grappling with how to answer this direct question for five years. She had reasoned that if she told all, Nick would be exponentially hurt deeper and he would divorce her. She could not withstand either result, deeper pain for Nick and no longer being his wife were not viable options in her reasoning. She decided that it would be her cross to bear to the grave. A sacrifice that she must make to keep her marriage and protect him from needless anguish.

Even though in the first couple of seconds she had seemed taken by surprise, her answer was timely, and did not give the impression that she was creating a contrived version of the truth. He was clueless that she had prepared so long for this moment.

Her answer had been set for some time. Lie. Sell it like her very life depended on it.

"No, my love. Unless you want me to provide the play by play of allowing that asshole access to my body, I think we should call it a draw. We both need to let this go, if we don't: our marriage will be destroyed. If you'll really forgive me, and set aside my mistake from all of those years ago, I'll not say a word, ever, concerning your date with Susan.

"I want this... no... I need this to finally be over and done... are we even?" she asked with pleading eyes.

"Yes, I need it to be over also. Even is probably not the right word as what we've really done is hurt each other an immeasurable amount. I agree that if we attempt to add up a score, we won't survive. I don't need any more hall passes. I love you," he said.

"I love you, more than you know. I will never again cause you to doubt that you are my 'best ever' in everything," she answered.

Epilogue:

The events of the previous weekend and those of five years prior were set aside by both of them. There would never again be a reason to drag up the malignant past, as both husband and wife were dedicated to considering the downstream effect of comments that they made.

In the days following the reconciliation, the best friends, Jan and Lana, continued to get together and confide in one another. It was agreed by both women that they needed to seal the truths of the past away so that their marriages could survive. They vowed to never speak of their bad behavior or the ramifications of those actions again.

An unexpected result of Jan and Nick's struggle was that Lana had been awakened to the dangerous path that she had been traveling and it terrified her. She deliberately altered how she interacted with men other than her husband.

Steve was curious about what had brought about the change in his wife. She was less flirty with other men and more attentive to him. When he asked, Lana would only say that she had come to realize that she had been taking him for granted. That she was determined to correct that situation. Steve also noticed that although Lana always gave great BJs, they seemed to happen more often and with more intensity...

[Was the sage advice to Jan from Suzie Q. passed to Lana?]

Three months after they made up, Jan's birth control had stopped being effective and she was pregnant. Nick was delighted. His and Jan's new era as a young loving family had begun without any need to look back.

A year after the "Truth or Dare event" Ron got pissy ass drunk while playing golf with Steve and revealed that it was Lana that was the hot wildcat he had bragged about fucking. His alcohol-soaked brain had not properly calculated the reaction that her husband would have, as the next drive Steve made was a right fist-wood to his jaw. The blow sent Ron to the ground, and when he tried to get back up, another connected and the lights went out. Ron's golf bag was thrown off of the cart and he was left on the 16^th tee.

Upon arriving at their house, Steve immediately confronted Lana. Without any advance warning, she caved and begged for forgiveness. He moved out for several months while considering options.

When the affair occurred, Ron had agreed with Lana that it would be bad for both of them for Steve to find out. A great deal of that was because they were not equal partners in the business. Steve was the majority owner and, in a position, to push Ron out on his ass. This was done, offering him less than his share was worth, but allowing a departure without exposing his treachery. A sober Ron accepted the offer, with regrets for his actions.

Lana's misfortune, that her betrayal had become known, scared the crap out of Jan. But Lana managed to suffer through a divorce, and enter a new life as a single divorcee with children without dragging her friend down with her. Some years later, she randomly bumped into an account executive that was in town on business, he had been temporarily assigned to an office in their town.

They had met before, at a job-related convention that she and Steve had attended. He was also divorced, and they were both lonely. They started dating, and when he went back to his home office, Lana and her kids went with him, clear to the other end of the state. A year later they married. The two friends, Jan and Lana's close relationship was another casualty of the cheating, and it diminished to Christmas cards and an occasional phone call.

There were only four people who knew the truth of Jan's shame. Mark and Jake were several states away. When Lana moved away, the only one left with the ability to wreck the train was Jan.

She didn't.

The End.

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Author's note:

I fully expect to get grief over Jan's choice to lie to her husband from my readers. So rather than wait, and then respond, I'll address a couple of likely issues now.

Every character of significance in this story is flawed.

Lana was a cheating flirt, but even though she redeemed her ways, the winds of fate blew in and took her to task for her error.

Nick was the original injured party, but even though he had said he had forgiven Jan, much of the insecurity over her lapse remained. When she blurted out "Actually, no" that night he was thrown back five years and the hurt and pain resurfaced. That re-occurrence included an alcohol induced need to strike back, hence the hall pass with Suzie Q. Even though he actually had written permission, many will argue and say he cheated. Good discussion material for all of us. In my mind, that made them all square, even though he didn't know the full story.

Jan was flirtier than she should have been in her earlier life and she messed up. Big. That being said she was left in an unenviable position.

Fact, full knowledge of her DP session would devastate her husband, increasing the pain that she had already dumped on him by an incalculable amount.

Fact, if Nick was made aware of the full truth, he would never be able to get past it, they would divorce. She knows him very well and she is correct about that.

Final fact, they both loved each other deeply and she was willing to do whatever it took to stay married.

In my mind, they love each other and they belong together. What purpose gets served if she spills her guts? Ease her conscience? Then divorce? Both would be miserable for years, possibly forever.

My choice for her: LIE. Her penance will be shouldering the guilt of the lies to her grave.

The other option, though honest and offering to begin with a new slate, would have destroyed both of them. The new beginning would not have happened.

Better this way, I say... In my view, they are even.