Bhakti - A Zavnir Story

She wrapped her blanket around her for comfort as she typed out the last of the reports she needed to finish. After the last of the reports were sent, her PD beeped, showing Ray was at her door.

"I just sent over what you needed..." She started as the door slid open. When she turned she saw Richard standing sheepishly at the door with Ray giving her a little wave behind him. She glanced between them, utterly confused.

"I'm just gonna leave him here," Ray said lightly. "You're his guide so... you know. Return him when you see fit."

Then the door slid shut, leaving her alone in the room with Richard. She blinked at the floor, trying to figure out how to react. Her mouth opened to say something but words stuck at her throat.

Richard hesitated, then held his hand up to her. Alys took it and he pulled her into a hug.

There was nothing sexual about it. Their hands didn't wander even after long minutes had passed. They didn't move their hips to bump and grind, their mouths didn't find each other for a taste. Richard simply held her close and she sank into his warm embrace. Words passed between them, muffled through hair and shoulder.

"Please don't hate me."

"I don't hate you. I'm sorry. I was an idiot."

"I didn't want her to die. I'm sorry she's gone."

"I know. Me too. It's not your fault."

"Please don't hate me," she kept saying faintly. Every time, he assured her he didn't hate her. Even after they were tired of standing and they lay in her bed facing each other, she mumbled it and he refuted it.

Even when they were wrapped in each other's arms in her bed, it remained chaste. She dozed with her face buried in his chest and his arms stayed around her shoulders to keep her close. They didn't ask the other for anything more than that. Both of them knew they were simply two lonely people who would seek comfort in each other just for one night. Both of them knew there would be nothing more, nothing less.

While Richard drifted off to sleep, Alys remained awake to watch him. At one point his dreams took a hold of him and his arms tightened around her. Occasionally he made a sound like he was in pain. Alys wrapped an arm around his torso to try to comfort him. He whispered something in his sleep. She stilled and strained to listen until she heard it.

"Angela..."

Despite hearing that, she held him close. She bit her lip to keep from crying. She lightly stroked his back until he calmed in his sleep again - she wondered if he was dreaming of his wife comforting him. Even so, she didn't stop and soothed him until he was still again.

--

A few weeks later...

Richard stood in front of the pile of rocks. The handful of wildflowers he picked lay on top, nestled between two rocks to keep from flying away from the dusty winds that rolled through the Wastelands.

As promised, once they had everyone settled in a new location, Sarge returned to Salve Valley. Richard was unable to help dig through the wreckage of his old house but Sarge's men found Angela's body among it. They had her buried near Salve Valley as it was the only home she ever knew. Richard stood alone next to her burial spot after Sarge's men finished and gave him some time alone.

For a long time, he stared at the pile of rocks that made up Angela's grave. Any apologies he wanted to say sounded self-serving in his own head. His hands rolled into fists at his sides.

"I hope you find someone better in the next life," he managed to say, his voice cracking. His throat locked and he couldn't say anything else.

The grave was silent. It remained an dispassionate monument to something that will never return to him.

Richard returned to the group who were salvaging their old home for any scrap of reusable material that had survived both the dust storm and pillaging. He drove one of the trucks back to their new settlement, the cargo space filled with slabs of construction material and broken wood that might be reusable for burning. He drove alone - most of them drove their own vehicles to maximize space for salvage material.

He glanced down at the empty seat beside him. A cloth bag lay rumpled there and when he pulled at the handle of the bag for the opening to yawn open, the crinkle of granola bar wrappers filled the truck. It was the same bag Alys left behind on the plateau when they had the fight. He took the bag with him as supplies when they left Zavnir, but he hadn't touched a single bar since they left.

Richard hesitated, but then reached inside and grabbed a bar. He kept his eyes on the road as he ripped open the wrapper with his teeth and took a bite.

--

"I'm going to try that apple pie you mentioned the other day," Pete said jovially as he snapped the new filter in place. Alys lounged on the grass at a safe distance away from the edge, enjoying the breeze of cleaned air in her hair. "Gonna have myself two big slices!"

Alys smiled at the new maintenance man. Pete was recommended by Richard after he stepped down from the role - she liked him well enough, even if he was much chattier than Richard was. Pete spotted her smile and flushed a deep shade of pink. She pretended not to see his blush.

"You'll have to negotiate with our AI if you want more than your share," Alys said. "Or were you thinking of taking my piece?"

"Oh no, ma'am, I wouldn't," Pete said hastily. "Unless you find it in your heart to share... I hear sweet things are frequently shared here in Zavnir."

Alys narrowed her eyes at him. "I'm not sure I like the implication in your words there, Petey."

"Oh, sorry. I thought that kind of thing is common," Pete scratched his head. "I thought if you're offerin' I would be more than happy to - "

"It's fine," Alys sighed. "But I'm not going to sleep with you. I'll go find someone who will be more than happy to spend some time with you."

That didn't seem to dampen his spirits. He nodded cheerfully and continued his work on the filter. Thank goodness he didn't seem offended. He probably wasn't picky about which Zavnirian slept with him.

"I thought all Zavnirians are open to sex," Pete said from the inside of the filter node. "Why aren't you? If ya don't mind me askin'. "

The wind picked up again to swirl her hair into her face. She pulled the pale strands back and stared out into the horizon. Alys found that she couldn't begin to explain why it was important to her to not sleep around anymore. Maybe some irrational part of her thought it would encourage him to return - maybe that was her heart talking.

"I have somebody," she finally said to Pete. She tried to remember what Richard used to say to her when he explained monogamy. It was probably different because Richard and Angela loved each other. He belonged to her, and she to him - in Alys' case, perhaps she felt like she belonged to Richard but she will never really have him. That thought made her throat close with emotion.

Many of her peers thought she had lost it. Brennan certainly thought she was crazy. Ray was his normal contemplative self and didn't comment - that man was usually difficult to understand. Alys herself didn't think much about her bout of celibacy - it just simply felt wrong to sleep with anyone while she still thought of Richard. She thought she could finally understand why he had resisted her for so long.

Maybe her celibacy would end one day. Maybe one day she'd forget her maintenance man as well. But for now she held onto the memory of just being next to him, holding him - that memory meant more to her than anything else.

For now she sat on a plateau high above Zavnir and stared out at the horizon, missing him.

For now, she waited.

End.

--

Author's Note: Thank you for reading. Fun fact, the names considered for this story included: "Tale of the Jack-off hole", "Humanity is Dying, Love is Dead," and "Let's Debate Monogamy." A huge thank you to JessGabriel for editing, I am lost without you.