Big Bang Theory Season 09 Ep. 21-24

While this was all going on, Penny picked up Beverly. She was upset with Leonard, "I'm not surprised Leonard chose to avoid picking me up. He's battled intimacy issues his entire life." She looked to Penny, "Does he have difficulty maintaining erections?"

Penny cleared her throat, "Wow, didn't even make it out of the parking lot." She looked towards Beverly, "You know what, enough about Leonard, let's talk about you. What would you like to do while you're here?"

Beverly let out a sigh, "Dear, I'm a psychiatrist. You don't have to avoid having intimate conversations with me."

"Well, I'd actually like for us to be close, but maybe we start with our favorite books and work our way up to my husband's sex organs."

"Very well, what's the last book you read?"

"Uh, does Pottery Barn Spring Catalog count?"

"Penny, it's only natural to want your mother-in-law to like you, and I acknowledge I can be an intimidating person. So what can I do to make this process easier for you?"

"Well, for starters, maybe you cannot psychoanalyze everything I say?"

"And how does it make you feel when I psychoanalyze everything you say?"

In a low voice Penny replied, "Uncomfortable!"

She chuckled, "That was a joke, dear."

"Oh, sorry, didn't know you made those, jokes that is. Hey, listen, what if we have a little mother-in-law, daughter-in-law dinner tonight?"

She looked at Penny, "So, just the two of us?"

"Or I could invite a few girlfriends? "Cause hearing you say "the two of us" just sent a chill right down my spine."

Once they got to Penny's apartment, Amy came in, pissed because Sheldon paid Stuart to go shopping with her. She was sitting there bitching about Sheldon, "You know, just when I think we're making progress in our relationship, we revert to our old patterns where thoughts and feelings go unexpressed. I mean, if he didn't wanna go shopping with me, why didn't he just say so?"

Beverly was sitting there beside her, "Maybe he couldn't get a word in edgewise."

Amy rolled her eyes, "Sorry, I've been going on and on."

"No, it's all right, dear. Sheldon had a brilliant and complicated mind. It's understandable that being in a relationship with him could be trying."

Amy shook her head, "I called him "babe" once, and he asked me to get a drug test."

Beverly chuckled, "Well, I do admire your resolve, you're an extraordinary woman."

"Thank you!"

Penny and Bernadette were in the kitchen preparing some appetizers. Penny looked to Bernie, "You know what, she's my mother-in-law, why can't I bond with her like that?"

Bernie leaned in towards her, "Amy's with Sheldon, who she loves like a son. You're with her son, who she doesn't."

Amy continued speaking to Beverly, "Do you realize it took me five years to get a massage from him?"

"Well, that still could be a big step for Sheldon."

"He only did it for three minutes, and he used a kitchen timer. I felt like a soft-boiled egg."

Penny came in with a plate of crackers and cheese, "You know, being in a relationship with Leonard also comes with its challenges."

Beverly nodded, "Yes, well, what can you do?"

Bernadette took a seat, "So, Beverly, did you know Penny is the number three sales rep at our pharmaceutical company?"

"I didn't realize you two work together."

"Well, we don't exactly; I'm a microbiologist for the research team."

Beverly perked up, "Oh, what are you currently developing?"

"Some exciting new anti-anxiety drugs."

Penny sat between the two of them and looked back and forth as they ignored her.

Beverly responded, "That's interesting, I just attended a lecture on pediatric anxiety. "

Amy chimed in, "Oh, was it Dr. Jenofski? I just saw his TED Talk."

Penny was sitting there ignored; minute by minute she was getting more and more pissed off."

Beverly relied to Amy, "It was."

Bernadette saw what was happening, "Well, let's get back to Penny. Hey, weren't you telling me something great about your company car?"

Penny cleared her throat, "Um...it has seat warmers."

Sheldon burst in and rambled on about doing Amy wrong and just before he left he turned to Penny, "You have spinach in your teeth." He turned and ran back out to the movie theatre.

Penny looked to Bernadette, "How long have I had spinach in my teeth?"

Beverly leaned forward to get a cracker, "Since the airport, dear." She turned to Amy, "That was very nice of Sheldon to apologize."

"Well, he's come a long way; or a short way very slowly, so it feels like a long way."

"Your relationship with him is fascinating." Penny rolled her eyes, she was about to explode. Beverly continued, "I'm preparing to write a book on high-achieving couples, and I would love to interview the both of you."

Amy was stunned, "Oh, sure, I'll talk to Sheldon about it. You know, Bernadette's husband's a former astronaut."

Beverly looked to Bernie, "Really? Do you think he would be interested in being interviewed as well?"

Bernie scoffed, "DO I think he's be interested? Sometimes I hear him pretending to be interviewed when he's alone in the bathroom."

Penny drank more and more wine. She just sat there shaking her head.

Beverly responded to Bernadette, "Wonderful, I'll give you my contact information."

Bernie saw how upset Penny was getting, "Um, you should probably talk to Penny, too."

Beverly looked to Penny, "About what?"

Penny was done sitting there being ignored by Beverly. She put her glass down, "Okay, you know what, this is ridiculous." She turned to Beverly, "I've been trying to make a connection with you all day, and clearly I'm getting nowhere."

Beverly looked stunned, "Well, are you seeking a connection or just some form of validation?"

Penny stood up over her, "What I was seeking was some sort of friendship, but at this point I'll take you not insulting me to my face!"

She looked up at her, "My intension was never to insult you."

"You've been doing it all day. Do you even know what an insult is?"

"Well, it's not a clinical term, but one example would be your marrying my son and not inviting me or even telling me the wedding was taking place."

Penny stared at her shocked, "Okay, good example." She sat down beside her, "To be honest, I'm surprised you cared about the wedding at all."

"I'm still human, Penny. Not getting invited to my own son's wedding is difficult to ignore."

Amy piled on, "I know how you feel. She didn't invite any of us."

Penny threw up her hands, "It was a spur of the moment."

Bernie added to the mix, "Well, we did get to see a live stream of it on the Internet."

Beverly looked at Penny, "I could've watched it on the Internet?"

Penny turned and looked to Bernadette, "Thanks!" She turned back to Beverly, "So, if we would've asked you to come to Vegas to see us get married, you would've come?"

Beverly shook her head, "No, I would've said you're making a huge mistake, but an invitation would've been nice."

Penny's shoulders slumped, "You really think we made a mistake?"

"At the time I did, but I've never seen Leonard so happy, so perhaps I was wrong."

A big smile crossed Penny's face, "WOW! Okay, well, how about this? Maybe while you're still in town, Leonard and I can have another small ceremony, you now, if you're interested."

Beverly stared at her, "I would find that perfectly acceptable."

Penny let out a gasp, "She would find it perfectly acceptable. You guys saw it, we bonded!" She jumped over and gave Beverly a big hug.

(Episode 24) Later that same evening, Penny was already in bed when Leonard returned home. He entered the bedroom, "Hey!"

She was putting her hair up, "Hi; how was the screening?"

"Okay, other than being there with Sheldon. How'd it go with my mother?"

She was a little skidish about talking about it, "You know, it started a little rocky, but I think we got to a good place."

He was getting out of his shoes, "Wow, well done."

"Yeah, and when I dropped her off at the hotel, she even gave me a hug."

"Did she think you were choking? I'm sorry, that's great, Thank you for spending time with her."

"No problem. Um...so, listen, I don't know if you have any plans for next weekend, but I kind of promised your mom we'd have another wedding ceremony so she could attend this time." She flashed him a jaw tight grin.

He stood up and approached the bed, "Wait, we're gonna get married again?"

"Yeah, kind of, but now we can invite our friends and family."

"Seems like a lot of trouble for a hug"

"Come on, it'll be fun, And you know, your mom was genuinely hurt we didn't invite her to the first one."

"Well, in our defense, it was kind of a spur-of-the -moment thing. And also, we don't like her. I don't want to bring up the entire lying and shit, but it's all behind us and I don't want to dredge it all up again. We're happy and I'm not especially into making her happy, she never did it for me."

"Leonard, come on, she's your mom. If we can do something to make her happy, why wouldn't we?"

Like I said, she never made me happy and again, we don't like her!"

She pressed the issue, "Okay, look, forget about her, let's do it for us. We can keep it small and informal, and this time we can invite our families."

He scoffed, "Is your brother out of prison?"

"Yeah, thanks to overcrowding, he is."

He flopped down on the bed, "I'd love if my dad could come."

"Oh! You have to invite him. I haven't seen him since the divorce."

Leonard chuckled, "Oh, he is like a different man. He stopped twitching, and I think he grew and inch and a half"

She shrugged, "Well, then it's settled." She leaned over and gave him a kiss."

He kissed her back, "Yay!

She pulled away, "God, it's so funny, I never thought my second marriage would be to you." She slapped him on the arm and tried getting off the bed.

He grabbed her arm and pulled her back down and hovered over her, "Well, if we're getting married again, we're going to have to practice the honeymoon all over again."

Their lips met again and he kissed her deeply. He reached up and pulled her hair out of the messy ponytail holder. Her hair came tumbling down about her shoulders. He pushed her hair aside and attacked her neck and he smiled when he felt her hands clutching his shoulders.

Penny pulled away, "If we're getting married again, shouldn't we refrain from sex before marriage?"

He cut her off, kissing her again and she gave up fighting him off. She slipped her bulky robe off and knelt there in a tiny flowerery short nightgown.

Leonard felt a surge of excitement as he closed in on her. He ran his hands along her belly and moved up to her full, firm tits. He squeezed lightly and he smiled when he heard her gasp. He slipped the straps off her shoulders and bared her full tits to his gaze. His thumbs rolled her large nipples and he loved when she leaned into the caress. He slid his tongue on one of her large aeroules. His tongue danced all over the tip and drew the stiff bud between his lips.

Penny shivered and crushed his head to her aching tits. She guided his mouth to its twin and shivered again when he repeated the same to the other tip. She needed attention elsewhere and pushed at his head and he went willingly.

He peppered her flat belly with kisses and continued to draw her nightly off her lush curves as he traveled south. He cleared her quivering legs and tossed the nighty aside. He rain wet, hot kisses along her inner thighs. He broke free and stood and quickly stripped and leaned over her prone figure, "How would my wife to be like a massage?"

Penny giggled and watched as she spread her legs. He slipped between them. She was on her back, her head propped up on one of the pillows as she watched him.

Leonard ran his hands along her lower ribcage. He cupped both of her full breasts. He massaged them, twisting and tugging at her nipples. He moved lower, and applied pressure to her belly and just above her hidden clit. He watched as Penny arched her back, she knew his skill of eating pussy, but she was in need of a cock.

Penny rose up on her elbows and flashed him a smiled, "I want you now, Leonard, forget the fucking massage, I want your cock buried in me and I want to feel you fill me up."

He slid up and kneeling between her outstretched legs, he stared down at her fleshy lips. They were glistening in her juices and he knew the foreplay would have to wait till their actual honeymoon. He reached for her legs and made her knees point towards the ceiling. He grinned down at her. He clutched at her knees and pushed them further apart. He slid his hands downward to her aching pussy. He paused briefly and his thumb uncovered her clit and he stroked it a few times.

Penny arched her back and let out a grunt, Oh God, Leonard, enough of the foreplay, just fuck me, fuck me hard!"

He crawled up over her and leaning forward, his lips closed around one of her ripe nipples again. He moved to the other one and felt her hips thrust upward to meet his stiff cock.

Penny cried out when he shoved two fingers deep into her cunt. He twisted them and petted her G-spot and she purred loudly. She could feel her cunt juices leaking out and settling down between her lush ass cheeks. She grabbed his forearms, "Oh please, Leonard, stop teasing me, fuck me or I'm gonna find Sheldon and have him do his best."

Leonard leaned further upward and kissed her, cutting off whatever else she had to say. He grabbed hold of her legs and guided them around his waist he felt her tighten her hold on him. He reached down and grabbed hold of his overheated cock. He guided it to her weeping hole and slowly slipped inside her. He thrust hard and he was suddenly balls deep in her pussy.

Penny was on the verge of an orgasm already and she tightened her grip on his cock. She whimpered when she felt him draw out and her lips made a large O when he suddenly shoved it back it and he slammed up against her stiff clit.

He slowed his pace, taking his time; building for what he knew would be a crushing orgasm for the both of them. When he felt her hips matching his movements, he increased his speed and intensity. He began grunting louder as he felt her cunt walls clutching at him and he knew she was on the verge of an orgasm. He slammed into her harder and faster. Her large tits floated about her chest as he rocked the entire bed.

Penny screamed out as she started cumming and felt her legs tighten around his waist. Her belly rose up and slapped against his and as her orgasm overtook her, she ground her clit even harder against the root of his cock.

Leonard let out a long, deep growl and slammed into her as hard as he could and he let go. He pumped his potent seed deep into her spasming pussy. His mouth covered hers and they fought back and forth sucking and dragging their tongue from one mouth to the other.

Tiny aftershocks of excitement coursed through her lush body. She kissed and nibbled at his neck and shoulder. Her nails gently raked over his sweaty back.

Leonard rose up slightly and swept her tousled hair from her face. He planted several kisses on her nose, cheeks, chin and lips he smiled down at her, "Penny Hofstadter, will you marry me again?"

She looked up, Ummmmm!" She started giggled and nodded when he started tickling her, "Yes, yes, I'll marry you again, Leonard Hofstadter." She let out a gasp when he drew out of her and kissed her neck over and over again. A tiny trickle of tears ran from her eyes and she sigh when he kisses them away.

The next day Penny had Bernadette and Amy over and she tried to talk some sense into them, "Listen, it's not a legal ceremony, it's just a chance for us to redo our vows so everyone can be part of it."

Amy began thinking right away, "So, there's no maid of honor?"

Penny shook her head, "No!"

Amy nodded, "Hmm! But if I were to, say, wear a purple satin dress with a sweetheart neckline and stand near you; you wouldn't be able to stop me, right?"

Penny chuckled, "I don't see how I could."

Amy threw her hands up, "Then I graciously accept."

Bernie shrugged, "Who's going to officiate?"

Penny grinned at her, "I was kind of hoping you would."

All of a sudden Amy didn't like what she was hearing, "Wait; now I'm just some lousy maid of honor? What?"

Sheldon came out of his bedroom, "Hey, good news, I just got off the phone with my mother. She's coming to the wedding."

Penny called out to him, "Okay, you're inviting people to OUR wedding?"

He turned towards her, "Yes, I'm inviting people to OUR wedding. Yeah, I've already asked Steven Hawking and Robert Downing, Jr., and now, don't get your hopes up, 'cause he's pretty busy, but Erno Rubik."

Bernie turned on the stool, "Who the fuck is Erno Rubik?"

He was stunned, "Seriously? He invented the Rubik's Cube."

Penny jumped in, "Okay, fine, but why would you invite him to our wedding?"

"Because despite his fame and fortune, he strikes me as a lonely man."

Bernie chimed in, "Well, it's very sweet of you to go to all this trouble for Leonard's mother."

Penny shrugged, "You know, I'm also doing it for Leonard. I think this could really help their relationship."

Leonard just picked up Beverly from her hotel and she heard what he had to say. She screamed at him, "How dare you invite your father without consulting me?"

He shook his head, "I'm sorry, but I don't think I need your permission to have MY father at MY wedding!"

You do understand our marriage ended because he had an affair."

"I know, and there's no excuse for that."

She growled out, "He claimed I was cold, emasculating, and hadn't shown him any physical affection for years."

He mumbled under his breath, "I was wrong, there's three excuses for that."

At the lab, Howard ran a couple tests and their guidance system worked. A couple seconds after that, he received an e-mail from the Air Force wanting a meeting to discuss their quantum guidance system. Howard was a little paranoid all of a sudden and was suddenly thinking he was being watched.

Amy and Sheldon went to the airport to pick up Mary Cooper. Mary looked to Amy, "Thank you for picking me up."

Sheldon, who was in the backseat called out, "Oh, you're welcome."

Mary looked to him, "I was speaking to your young lady."

Amy smiled at her, "My pleasure, Mrs. Cooper."

"Oh, please, call me Mary."

She giggled, "Okay, Mary."

Sheldon wasn't okay with that, "You know, that doesn't work for me, let's stay with "Mrs. Cooper."

Mary shook her head, "Sheldon, don't be silly."

"What? That's what I called you until I got to know you better."

Mary ignored him, "It was so nice of Leonard and Penny to invite me."

Out of the back seat he blurted out, "Well, actually--"

Amy cut him off, "It sure was!"

"I've always had a special place in my heart for Leonard, taking care of my baby all these years."

He was upset now, "Excuse me, I take care of him."

She scoffed, "Sure you do! So, who else is coming to this shindig?"

Amy looked to her, "Oh, well, the usual gang. Penny's family's coming tomorrow."

Sheldon cut in, "Yeah, Leonard's mother's already here."

Mary's shoulders slumped, "Oh, Beverly, how nice."

Amy looked over at her, "You've met her, right?"

Mary pulled her cross out of her blouse and rubbed it lightly, "Yes, I have."

Sheldon shook his head, "Mother, she's an atheist, not a vampire."

"Either way, let's stop and get some garlic."

They got to the apartment and Mary and Beverly were seated, both looking away from one another. Beverly finally started the conversation, "So, Mary, how have you been?"

"Thank you so much for asking, I've been well, and you?"

She replied, "Very good."

Mary blurted back, "Good!"

Penny, Amy and Sheldon were in the kitchen preparing a veggie tray. Sheldon looked back at Amy, "I don't know what we were worried about; they're getting along great."