Billie is Billy 02

Billie is Billy 02

After a good night of sleep, well, I woke up untouched. Not that I was begging for Chet to do something, but something was available to him. I also woke up to find all of the beer in the refrigerator gone and Gino's clothes in the laundry room. And it wouldn't have been so terrible to find a few articles of Chet's clothing spewed around my bedroom, but it actually looked like he cleaned it a little bit as I dozed off from being so flushed from heat exhaustion the day before.

And because I was sleeping and stuff, those horn dawgs figured it would be a good idea to call Jake and have him stop by, which meant he brought his silicone girlfriend with him. Her name is Rita and it's better that she took their freaky circle jerk than me. I'll thank Chet for saving me from that later, but Jake is going to hear about it because he left that heavy bitch in the living room and I had to drag her outside to hose her off. I mean, can you imagine what my neighbors thought on such a beautiful Sunday morning? I mean, there they were, sipping on their orange juice and there I was, hosing down a plastic whore and trying to fit a bikini and sunglasses on her.

I mean, Mr. Jenkins asked to meet her, but I was too busy getting her seated in a chair on the deck and chaining her ankle to the patio table. LOL, Rita may or may not be pregnant by the time my Smoothie date is over. Empty water bottles, right?

Anyways, back to Chet, we still had a confirmed Smoothie date for later that day and I had a new outfit to wear, so the past is in the past and the future was yet to come and the future included new black Denim ankle jeans and a black Key West festival logo T-shirt. The future also included the longest shower of my life, a very close shave, the best and brightest facial makeover I had ever tried and my ponytail split in two.

And as a reminder from the last chapter, I made all of the "first" moves that I will ever make, no matter how many times he takes me out. Also, if my butt in these jeans doesn't do it for him, well, then he's gay! Wait, what? What did I just say?

Hah, a question that would have to wait because Chet pulled into the driveway.

"Hah, you're 5 minutes late Chet, so I just texted your cousin and told her to slow down on making our perfect Smoothies. And if they are melted and running, well, then the date is over. Also, don't linger at the traffic signals and keep your eyes forward."

"You look nice."

"Thanks, but you can take a picture, it will last longer."

"So, you're going to be all bitchy tonight?"

"Well, what do you expect? You and Gino partied all night while I was flushed and ill and then you invited Jake over and he left his silicone girlfriend, Rita, behind. What the hell am I supposed to do with her? I mean, other than to chain her to my patio table with a coffee cup in front of her. And if you must know, yes, I cleaned up the mess and put her in an old bikini I had. By the way, WTF Chet? I was right there is you needed to lose a load so badly. You didn't need to join in the freaky circle jerk. Right there, I tell you!"

"Whoa, I don't know what those two did! I fell asleep on the floor of your bedroom as I was watching out for you. I woke up early, cleaned up your bedroom and went home. Also, ah, you chained her up on your beck deck? Can't other people in the Condo complex see her?"

"Never mind Rita right now. I mean, thanks for staying with me and all, but I slipped out of my clothes before I fell asleep. Are you gay or something? My butt was pointing straight at the door! All you had to do was to lift the covers. Wait, what did I just say?"

"I did lift the covers."

"Oh, well, am I still intact or not?"

"Oh, you'll be awake if and when we ever do that."

"Hmmm, did you do anything that I might mistake for a dream?"

"Oops, here we are at the Ice Cream Parlor and we're right on time because I didn't linger at the traffic lights, so question and answer time is over. Are you ready for Jeannie?"

"Hah, nobody is ready for Jeannie, but let's go inside."

That was the end of conversation from my side. I mean, I did text Jake and to tell him that Rita was chained to my patio table and that she was probably pregnant by now with empty water bottle babies, but that's all I had to say. Jeannie on the other hand, always has plenty to say.

"Hah, you two are late and that means I get a big fat tip! Also, why are you glowing Billie? Have you two been sex talking? Ahh, is Chet still being all shy and stuff with you? Have you tried animal print undies sweetie?"

"Oh, I wore those last night, didn't I Chet? Anyways, he fell asleep on the floor. I was flushed and woozy and alone in my bed."

"Damn sweetie, flushed comes after a good ass pounding and woozy comes when he pulls out!"

Oh, so that's what Chet looks like when he is seriously flushed, like beet red.

"Ah, we're cousins you know Jeannie! Surely we can talk about something else."

"Oops, sorry Chet, I'll be sure to change the subject at our annual Thanksgiving Day dinner. But until then, get over being so gay and bend Billie over! Wait, what did I just say? Anyways, two perfect Raspberry Smoothies and the tip jar is right in front of you."

"Hah, you're gay and I'm talking about that over the holidays! Wait to Grandma hears about that."

"Hah, everyone knows I walk on both sides of the street and I'm inviting Billie over to serve us at our holiday dinner and I'm buying her one of those sexy little servant uniforms! Oh, and I may forget to buy the protective frilly and ruffled panties!"

"Hah, you're not going to get invited anymore since you asked aunt Luci if her bra cup would serve as a gravy boat last year!"

"Well, she took it off and gave it to me. How was I supposed to know that gravy would just soak through like that? I mean, why did everyone get so mad? It was just spilled gravy."

"OMG, because you tried to clean off her titties, which didn't have any gravy on them. Not that any of the men folk minded."

"OMG, men folk? Did you just say men folk? Billie, you need to dump his ass and move to someone who will pound yours like you need it."

"OMG, enough you two. Jeannie, thanks for the Smoothies. By the way, Jake might be looking for a good swift kick in the nuts soon, you know, if you get off early tonight. That's how he gets off, other than hovering over his silicone girlfriend."

"Rita? How is that plastic bitch these days? I did her once."

OMG, praise the heavens for side work and other customers, right? Hey, I said it earlier, nobody is ready for Jeannie and the way she views life.

"SOB, Chet, I really have no idea what is going on between you and I, but I am NOT going to any of your family dinners, uniform or not! But send me a photo of the uniform, you know, just in case. So, what is going on between us?"

"Well, we can sit here and drink our Smoothies and listen to Jeannie talk about what happened last Christmas or we can go back to your place."

"Oh, Christmas? Like bright red skimpy outfits? Well, can we split that 50-50?"

"Sure, if you want to hear about all of the aunts wearing Christmas body harnesses and prancing around the tree."

"So, like aunt Luci? In a velvet red body harness suit with straps barely in the right places?"

"AND MY MOM! OMFG, I have so many issues now. So many issues."

Oops, that was a clear signal to pack it up and go back to my place. I mean, I can stop by and visit with Jeannie any time during the week, right? And it may have been a clear signal that he has mommy issues, so maybe it's not meant to be. As they often say in adventure movies, it was time to go.

"Jeannie, we're leaving now. Thanks for the lovely Smoothies."

"Alright, but we both have stories about Christmas dinners and OMG, let's not forget about what we drop on New Year's Eve!"

"OMG Jeannie, I'm virgin everywhere, including my ears! I can't take no more! I can't hear about how all the ladies dropped their panties and stuff at the stroke of midnight and whatever you do, don't tell me anything about who stroked what at midnight! I mean, that's what you were talking about, right Jeannie? OMG, what am I doing! Never mind. See you soon."

"Whatever Billie. But if you see Chet's mom, well, you tell aunt Billie Jean that I said hello. By the way, it's quite clear that Chet likes your jeans, you know, unless he's gay or something. Wait, what? What did I just say?"

Ah hah! Fricking Chet does have issues and they are both named Billie! Well, let me tell you, I was out and I was out quick! He may be the only guy I ever had any interest in, but I have no interest in that kind of, ah, family affair, should I say. I mean, I'm absolutely going to stop by and listen to Jeannie carry on as only she can, but Chet will be in the rear view in no time flat.

End Billie is Billy 02