All Comments on 'Birdcage Ch. 04'

Well, I thought you had a story here, at least the beginnings of one.

In this chapter though, you've written 4 as either psycho because he gets off on beating women bloody for no reason - he saw what happened and knows she doesn't deserve any of this - or he didn't want to do it and had to because 2 wanted it. Which shows either he's too weak to stand up to her, or he has no power in this place and Joni isn't any better off with him than she would be with anyone else. There is no reason to believe this sort of thing won't keep happening.

Either way, psycho or weak, I don't want to see her end up with him. But now the predictable arc is he is her customer and she's going to forgive him for anything he does to her because she loves his dick, which is no story at all.

I know 4 punished her because 2 made him. And he got mad at her when he tried the aftercare, and she ruined it, but I want him to be the one to buy her, and I want him to really make her his.

More please! 5 *

Love that she’s showing some fight. Hope she gets to kick the other bitches ass into touch too.

SHE ruined it? Seriously? Why should she accept comfort from him after what he just did to her? All accepting after care from him would do is make him feel better about himself and what he did. Fuck that. If she forgives him, I hope she makes him work for it in other ways that sex. That's far too easy.

I absolutely love this story so far! Keep up the great work

This chapter is where the author lost me entirely. After the utter redundancy of the prior chapter, the author tops it off with utter senselessness. Honestly, nothing—and I mean n o t h i n g—in this chapter makes any freaking sense (outside of CR silliness)! Or, as an honest—and apparently sensible—anonymous put it, there simply “is no story at all” deserving of that name here.

So our heroine gets punished for something she didn’t do and all parties know she didn’t do since there is full-time video surveillance of everything for no other reason than a silly power play between nameless numbers (“4” and “2”) without any character to speak of no one in his right mind, i.e., uncorrupted by CR, cares for anyway? Really, that’s just . . . ridiculous nonsense!

And it is the same in the details, see, for example, this sentence: “He [4] even sported a dark shadow of stubble around his jaw.” Remember, it’s the same night still as in the prior third chapter where Joni didn’t notice a n y facial hair on her beloved 4’s face, and now—suddenly—he’s sporting a neat jaw stubble? Seriously, again, that’s just . . . ridiculous nonsense!

—AJ