All Comments on 'Birthday Pool Party Ch. 20'

Love this story, it's very well written. Try not to worry too much about what all the readers think. At the end of the day its your story, teel it the way you want to tell it.

I saw the ending coming and I still loved it. It’s so hard to keep emotions out of everything and it’s nice to see some conflict between the girls rather then a picture perfect friendship

I'm with the joker. I've said before, while us readers may have our preferences, yes me included, you can't solely write for that. I'd love to see Kayla deep dicked by Steven for example, but do you? Ultimately you have to write where you feel the story leads you. Your reads and scores show you're doing a great job, so you write what's best. 5/5 stars.

Dewey Cheatham

You are completely in control of what happens in your story. Your friendly critics are merely here to help you shape it better.

I love the direction of the story. Steven is open to sharing all but Lexi so let the other girls have some fun. They are young and consenting adults so let them spread their wings and legs. What better time to learn the fun of sharing. So your story rocks and you are the author so let it roll as you want. I love it cheers.

it was great. I love it . but if I can say something I think in the next chapter you should have the girls at a ghoryhole and Steven stick his dick in it and all the girls( kayla included) suck it.

foxes in the henhouse

Kayla sucking on a dildo after it had been in her rectum? YUCK!!!

Also, hadn't Steven and the girls discussed them wanting to have sex with other men shortly before the start of the trip?

And are the girls other than Lexi in love with Stevrn? Just because they have great sex, it doesn't necessarily translate to love (many people know. that firsthand).

I hope the girls still go to the prom with Ian's friends. The guys could be good boyfriends.

Lexi is very smart to advise Kayla to tell Ian about the rape and what Kayla did afterwards. Kayla should also tell Ian she is in counseling. She could also tell Ian how much he means to her by regarding her as a person and caring for her. Maybe they shouldn't have sex.

To anonymous “glory hole guy”:

Are you even old enough to be on this site? Your teenaged porno fantasies are warping your world view. Try putting down the game controller and meeting an actual female. I say “female” rather than woman since an actual woman (of any age) would probably laugh you into micro-erection.

(Do they ever try to cull perverted teens from this site?)

So enjoy this storey, great so far, yes the girls other than Lexi all should have fun, I do think that Kayla and Steven should hook up, but oh dear how would that affect Ian, but you are the author. I look forward to what you come up with. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Kayla should not hook up with the guys next door. Lexi decides to play a game with the girls & Steven.

All the girls including Kayla are Blind folded but just Steven & Kayla in reality. Hazel, , Marcia and Ashley and Kayla are bent over the bed and “Steven” Has to guess whose pussy he is fucking thrown in is his daughter.

Kayla thinks that Lexi will use the Strap on on her so she agrees to the contest and to play along. Steve & Kayla start screwing like rabbits not realizing it and the girls are watching.

Eventually the blindfold comes off and they are both happy to finally have incest sex together with the ice broken by Lexi and the girls. Lexi, Steve & Kayla can now share the bed together and screw each other.

Possible a spin off with Shawn and Josh, Marcia and Ashley, Ian & Kayla with everyone of the crew screwing each other. Ian comes around to understand the incest relationship with her dad and the relationship Kayla has with the girls.

Thanks for writing I love your story. 5 stars. Maybe have Steven, Lexi help Kayla & Ian have their first time. He is a virgin and Steven & Lexi can coach him on how to make Kayla feel great. Make him a better lover!

Wow, you are incredibly gifted to continue this story with this intensity. Five Stars Again, write on!

You're doing a great job with the story!!! I really can't wait how Shawn, Josh, and Ian are going to be involved in the chapters to come. I have a feeling that the pool party is going to be postponed until further notice. I wonder if Dan and Lexi's siblings will return once the trip is finished. As to Ian's first time, I'm glad you gave him some prowess when it came to him having his mouth on Kayla's breasts and making her cum. I'm with Mr. Cheatham to have Kayla get Steven dicked. With how you're switching character perspectives, I hope you keep doing that in future chapters, especially from Ian's perspective!!

Just dropping in to say I'm enjoying the way it's going and heading on to the next chapter :)