All Comments on 'Birthday Pool Party Ch. 37'

Overall a good chapter. But....since they had the breakthrough last chapter, I was disappointed that there wasn't a scene with Marcia and her mom discussing what happened after Prom with Shawn, and then her going to Steven. I just think that would have been more value-added to the story than the Stacey/April sex scene...

Another entertaining and drama and of course sex filled chapter. Wonderful 5 Star Adventure continues. Great storytelling. Cheers

Witty, I know that you think that you couldn't follow up Prom. But let me tell you, I think you did an amazing job with this chapter. Hazel is finally coming around to realize how much she is truly loved. I'm glad that Stacey and April are a couple with the possibiltiy of joining Steven's harem. Sarah adds an interesting dynamic to the group... shat could happen if she finds out certain things. The cliffhanger ending... what can I say you sure now how to keep your audience captivated. All in all you should be proud of this chapter you flawlessly followed up Prom, only a great writer could manage that. It was well worth the wait for this chapter to come out. Thank you!

Loved the April, Stacey, Steven, Lexi scene at the end. it was so passionate and powerful. You could really feel the heartache all around. Great way to finally break through to Lexi.

As the story slowly grinds to some conclusion, a few ideas for future endeavors:

1. Do you even know how or when this will end? This story reminds me of this Dudley Moore comedy piece: a song that cannot find its conclusion: https://youtu.be/aiQujnbXLD0?si=FhtTL4tGNpp8yzgh

Both funny and trenchant.

2. Perfect people are boring, if not downright insufferable. Steven is getting boring. Doesn’t he ever fuck up, fly off the handle or act without thinking?

Truly interesting characters are flawed. The Greeks have a word for this: “hamartia” loosely translates into “fatal flaw”. While the term is usually used to describe tragic heroes (Oedipus, Othello, Macbeth, etc) whose flaws lead to their demise, the flaw need not be fatal. But we humans find flawed characters far more interesting.

It is odd that Steven’s major flaw (can’t keep his cock in his pants) - an all too common flaw that has destroyed so many men, both historical and fictional - you treat as a virtue! By doing so you’ve also neutered him as an interesting character.

Yes, I know this is just smut, but many authors here have risen above the smut to achieve lasting, believable characters.

It’s not that I’m rooting against Steven. I don’t care enough about him to even bother. The girls I care for. He’s just a living, breathing dildo.

ACAB

All kidding aside tone down the copaganda. Police have been misbehaving even more recently and are prone to sexually assaulting people anyway. The characters might not mind if they're rich, but the audience might have learned to distrust or fear the police already.

Witty, I continue looking for your stories. They are great.

Hazel coming around. Was hoping she would hook back up with Steven.

Glad Lexi is accepting Stacey and April hoping you bring them into the fold in the next chapter. If Steven can have Lexi and Nicole now Sarah, why not Stacey and April.

Hope Hazel is OK. What a cliffhanger:). Thanks for writing. 10 stars. SCUBASAM75

First off thank you for writing! I have enjoyed this story from the very beginning, and it's only gotten better and better.

Second-- and please take this only as positive feedback-- your writing has improved since the beginning. Your descriptions of everything from the sex to the emotion has gotten more in depth, and that has added a lot to the characters and the plot.

Third, I think there is a LOT of life left in these characters. I know you mentioned starting a second "book", and I think the reconciliation between Stacy and Lexi may be a great place to do that, if you're interested in that route. Aside from that dynamic, the throuple with Kayla, Ian, and Stephanie is brand new, and can definitely expand a lot, especially as Stephanie starts to heal from her trauma. Obviously the Hazel situation is going to take one or three surprising turns in the near future, and I'm very much looking forward to that (well... not in a "happy" way, but in an "eager to see how this resolves" way). The individual relationships (Ashley/ Josh, Stacy/ April, Kayla/ Ian/ Stephanie, etc) all have a lot of potential depth to be explored...

In short, if you're burned out writing about these characters your readers will be sad, but you take care of you. If you would like to continue them (which we all hope you will!), there's a lot of avenues we're hoping to see play out.

Finally-- and this is just one reader's opinion-- I am more a fan of "quality" over "quantity". We've all read the stories about the guy who fucks the whole cheerleading squad, and then all of their sisters, and then 1000 women more... and it just gets a bit stale after a while. You have absolutely avoided that problem to this point, and developed rich, deep, great characters with their own personalities that are enjoyable to read about.

So I'm not saying that adding Sarah crosses that line... but my concern is that it gets closer. With so many characters and and sub-plots already, my personal preference would be to see those develop even more (including Sarah) before adding in more characters. Brittany, for example, has been a perfect character for the capacity in which you have used her, but I would personally rather see the relationship between other characters fleshed out (literally and metaphorically) before adding in Brittany as "one more body".

Anyway, please don't feel like I'm trying to write your story for you; you make the story and characters you want, and I'll just compulsively click "refresh" every 12 hours waiting for the next installment. : )

Worth the wait!!! Keep it going

I agree with @TheJoker33. Well done.

Agree with everything TheJoker33 says, I do hope Hazel will be ok. I hope you totally ignore the comments from Rapierwit24601, Stephen is a great character, keep developing him as you are. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Five stars again and as usual. Steven has been bugging me and I can't quite put my finger on it. Rapier's on to something. It's more than latent jealousy; maybe it's the absence of any hint of a character flaw. He's a live-action dildo with zero self-discipline. Happy for him and I'd absolutely be doing the same things he is; maybe give him some mixed feelings at least. Still a great series and I'll read any prequels or spin-offs. Keep up the good work.

@Rapier - why do you read on this site at all? Every. Single. Story that I see you post on is nothing but whining and complaining?

@Bogiera I'm glad you liked the chapter. I understand wanting Marcia to have a talk with her mom, but I just didn't think there would be enough material for her POV.

@Qwer12 Thank you! I appreciate the compliment!

@TheJoker33 I'm glad you think this chapter is a great follow up to Prom!

@shadracht I'm glad you found the scene so powerful. It was emotional to write.

@Rapierwit24601 1. Yes, I always planned to end Book 1 with graduation. 2. He definitely fucks up, he hurts Stacey all the time! I am glad you care about the girls.

@Anonymous I'm not entirely sure what you're talking about.. there hasn't been any indication of police assaulting anyone in this story?

@SCUBASAM75 Thanks for the ten stars!

@Anonymous I love reading your comments! I agree, too many women could be a problem. I'll be careful about that. And no need to refresh every 12 hours, I'll post a comment on here when Chapter 38 is submitted to Literotica.

@Anonymous Glad it was worth the wait!

@JohnnyDropTableStudents Thank you :)

@Woodencav I appreciate the five stars, and I'm glad you think Steven is a great character!

@LazyDiogenes Sorry Steven has been bugging you. Maybe 38 will change your mind!

Another good one, Witty! Keep 'em coming. I'm glad to see Sarah joining the group. AND, I'm really glad to see Lexi & Stacey being able to work things out with sharing Steven. I'd be hesitant to grow the group much larger, but I would like to see Shawn & Ashley(?) come back to the group. Hopefully we can see (read about) Ian, Kayla & Stephanie having lots of fun; maybe Stephanie can find a cute boyfriend and have a foursome with Ian & Kayla. Looking forward to the next chapter.

@SFFguy - I'm a little confused - Stephanie has a boyfriend - Ian. She also has a girlfriend - Kayla.

Dude, no need to apologize; great writing and you've created a great character in a great series. He's a guy every reader wants to be; his flaw is that he doesn't have any flaws I guess.

Story is not going anywhere... too slow.... conversations are boring now....I know I need to encourage you to write...but try to pace dude

@Bogiera. Sure, Marcia and her mom could have talked, but other than Marcia pouring her heart out and her mother saying something reassuring and empathetic, what would the conversation entail? I don't think her mother would say something like, "Not only could you be with Shawn right now but he would be okay with you fucking Steven if only you had opened up to me earlier." I guess she she could share some cautionary advice about falling too hard for Steven, but it's nothing that he hasn't already told her. Now if her mother said something like, "You're not the only one with Slut-Sisters." Then I would have opted for that instead of a Stacey/April scene.

@TheJoker33. Hazel is really going to see how much she's loved when it she sees how many people are there for her when it comes to her medical problem. I definitely can't wait to see Stacey and April joining the harem as well. Let's see how the date goes! Sarah is an interesting dynamic. It's just a matter of Steven telling her about Kayla, Sarah overhearing it from someone else, putting the clues together, or juiciest yet, she catches them in the act. I don't think that much shit is going to happen, especially knowing that Steven is not a bad guy and that she likes fucking him.

@shadracht. I'd say the cracks are forming when it comes to Lexi and Stacey. We'll know for sure after the date.

@Rapierwit24601. (1).This book will end around graduation. That's one out of two. (2). I admit that Steven's made all the right moves, but the story isn't boring because the people around him have fucked up, flew off the handle, and acted without thinking. Seeing how Steven deals with it is a very fascinating part of these stories. As a human, I still think Steven is an interesting character because he lives in a flawed world. Steven can keep his cock in his pants. He would have ruined things between Lexi and him if that weren't the case. Such control is a virtue. His ability to rejuvenate and ignite a woman's sexuality through his dick slinging prowess makes him quite the hero in my book. This series isn't just smut. It's very exceptional smut! A character doesn't have to be believable to be lasting. How believable are superheroes and/or mythic figures? But we still know them and are fascinated with them regardless. I'm rooting for Steven. The girls can't get another Steven from the sex store if he dies on them.

@Anonymous. I get what you're saying about copaganda. We live in a world that resembles Mike Brennan's NYPD as opposed to Barney Fife's Mayberry's Sheriff Department. But as far as the story is concerned, Sarah has acquitted herself honorably in her duties as a detective. I didn't expect her to see Ian and Josh drinking then telling Josh to drop his pants and show her his ass. Then she tells Ian, "Show me how you eat a girl's pussy. I'm fucking serious...the last time I'm gonna ask you or I'm takin' you in, you hear me?...open your mouth...that's it, you little fuck...close your eyes and take that fuckin' pussy in your mouth. You eat it the fuck up...show me with your mouth." All the while, she's rubbing one out. I will admit that Sarah going Bad Lieutenant at the Memorial Day cookout would be trippy as fuck!

@Anonymous. "...my personal preference would be to see those develop even more (including Sarah) before adding in more characters...but I would personally rather see the relationship between the characters fleshed out (literally and metaphorically) before adding in Brittany as 'one more body.'" I concur with this part and and would love to see Josh and Ian get to know the Slut Sisters as Steven has.

@LazyDiogenes. As I mentioned earlier, Steven has self-discipline and has shown mixed feelings like when Ashley said she was Josh's girlfriend.

@SSFguy. Ashley never left the group. She's with Josh. I think you're talking about Marcia. I would very much like to see Shawn come back tot he group. But I get what you're saying and I suppose if she was to find a guy that makes her as happy as Ian and Kayla, then I'm down for that. The one i want to see join the group is Kelsey and how that is going to play out before us. Who isn't looking forward to the next chapter? HAHA

@everyone Chapter 38 has been submitted to Literotica under the Group Sex category. It should go live in a couple of days.

I love the story and want more. Keep going I want to see what happens next

Of course Five Stars! You deserve nothing less! I've been following you since chapter one and will continue until whenever you stop! I hope it's not for awhile yet as I love this story and every chapter gets better & better. On to chapter 38, because it's waiting for me!

Steven, that is NOT what N.W.A. meant when they said “fuck tha police.”

lol @californiaperv