All Comments on 'Black and White'

The changes in person/PoV and tense were distracting. Some separating mechanism would have helped. An editor would also have improved what was a generally righteous story.

Need an editor, but the basic plot was sound. Husband had to restore balance to the relationship - now that the wife knows what it feels like to be cheated upon, likely she can quit and stay faithful.... at least for a while. I especially appreciate her family taking his side and supporting him through the mess made by the wife.

The racial stereotyping was disturbing. The end of the story seems unfinished. Keep working on this. I enjoy many of your stories very much.

for an old bugger like me. The world has changed. It is not the racial bit that bothers for reasons I won't go into here but rather both of their behaviours. I just can not accept that they both did what they did and that sex caused them come together. I remember from romances in the fifties that yes they could have sex, but he and she would not forgive each other. Excellent story.

It goes back and forth from Dan narrating to 3rd person, with a little Shannon thrown in. This is something a 10 year old kid should know to avoid. What is your fucking excuse? Are you just an illiterate moron or do you just don't give a fuck?

I guess even in "love" it comes down to race. If everyone involved had been white would he have told his wife to get her cracker cheating whore ass back to the 'burbs for some dick? I guess not if the stereotypes ring true, there wouldn't be any big cock in white suburbia. Let's keep up with the black on black crime and have the brothers beat Chris' ass instead of the wronged husband. Now if it had been a white wife fuckin' a black guy then the wronged husband would have somehow gotten physical payback or even set up some convoluted revenge plot where Chris get's shot and killed by the husband in self defense. Maybe I'm promoting stereotypes too but I don't know any Sister who would just stay around while her man fucked other women repeatedly in their home, especially not without some serious ghetto drama, whether they were from the hood or not. Then again this IS a fantasy site supposedly.

<p>Speaking as a black male I feel, dirty, cheap, and violated by your story.</p>

<p>I could really careless its a "black/white" marriage thing, but could you <i><b>cram</b></i> anymore stereotypes about how Black people act, how they act with their family's (her mother slapped her for not answering fast enough? REALLY?), and males in general in this story if you tried? I mean come on now!</p>

<p>And to make it worse, like posted before, you had points of view all over the place. First the husband, then Shannon, then Chris, then Tina, then the brothers, and not to mention you had third person interjected all through out the story. I didn't know half the time "WHO" was talking</p>

<p>But just wow, I'm not even going to pretend I liked or have anything nice to say about it. This just sucked!</p>

-Risq

Forced, stiff, contrived, didn't like it at all.

not up to the usual standards. It could have used a good editor also.

This is becoming unforgivable!

I´m a tall black man, barely over 8 inches, and many woman don´t like my size(small ones, less than five-five tall with tiny hips, Hate it!), and even whores will think twice before challenges a TWELVE inch monster.

construction, plot, grammer, etc, etc. This was really bad and you had been doing much better. In addition, the whole black 12" cliche has been done to death. A large cock may hold some interest for a woman, not being one, I cannot say, but 12" is so rare as to not be funny. This one was perhaps your worst yet. Perhaps even more so in that you had an interesting plot line started and then just ruined it.

This woman was intent on fucking trash. And she chose to, he may have pushed the issue but she didnt yell rape, and she didnt really say no. When you say no I cant I'm married, you are really saying I want to but because I'm married I cant which says talk me into it. She proved she was trash and was trash. Letting her back into the house was a mistake. Eventually the kids would have gotten over her and would have been happy to see her in controlled visitations say at grandma's house. Think about this, the husband, poor little white boy, has to live the rest of his life wondering when the BBC ho will want large and black again and go out or bring one home to fuck. Isnt that a great life, all trust is now gone. The marriage is over.

Slirpuff, this is so disappointing. You'd been posting some good stories lately. It seemed like you'd transformed from the grammatically challenged and barely readable stories you'd posted at first. But with this story, you undid all that progress, and then some. You seem to have no understanding whatsoever how to use point of view. Note for instance how the perspective changes within this paragraph ("her" becomes "I"): "There standing in the door was her husband and two little girls. Chris yelled, "Oh fuck," as he pulled out of her and grabbed for his clothes. I couldn't move, just laid there with my stretched out pussy out there for the world to see." To make things worse, sometimes the "I" is the husband, and sometimes it's the wife. How can anybody understand what you mean?! Please never, ever post a story without an editor (or two!) looking it over! But, as if that's not bad enough, you deal with racial issues with all the sensitivity of a KKK member. You deal entirely in tired cliches. I'm surprised you didn't have the black characters eating chicken and watermelon as they talked. And a 12 inch penis? Give me a fuckin' break! Did you know the longest penis ever recorded is 13 inches? 12 inch penises are literally rarer than one in a million (and most women would actually be physically hurt with them), but your story seems to imply that about every third black guy has a penis that long (and, of course, no women can resist them). This is just an embarrassing effort all around. But the sad thing is, if you'd had some editors who pointed out the story's flaws, it might have been decent. Always use an editor, please!

This isn't the worst wimp out ever, but I'm sure it was in the top ten. I assume that as a writer you feel the need to write a wimp out "whorror" story from tome to time, but you really needn't bother.

story's bad; grammar's bad; punctuation's hideously scarrily bad to the fuckin' bone; characters' (both husband and wife) are unredeemably, stupidly retarded... every fuckin' thing was just aweful! <p>

you's lucky I spents a few minutes scrollin' thru the freakin' socalled story, brotha.

Thanks for an excellent story.

.

....but they all seem to miss the fact that this is an old story (dark wanderer, I believe)-which explains your apparent loss of progress as a writer.Only new ones slir,please.And thanks to the guy from P.R.-now I feel vindicated in my love for petite women!-pistolpackinpete

But thats all--Stupid ending And poorly written -- No Husband would put up with that

Your worst story ever.Too wimp...adn twelve inches?Most of porn actors are ONLY eight inches...

At the end, things got real, the rest was fuzzy, forget the bitcher's, they rant just to rant, love is its own reward.

Who'd want to accept a whore just because of a fuck - fucks are plentifull but a fuck is just a fuck.

There's no love in this story - black or otherwise.

I pity them both - and even more so, the children. - what a home life !!!

OK I understand how you write but you need to add something. When you shift in context, do this (Dan being the character, writing in first person, in the story Black and White):

"I crept into the room .. bla bla bla I talked to Shannon"

********** (shift in context, add those stars! it acts like a divider)

"Ricky and Kevin went to visit Dan"

**********

"I said to Ricky there's no need to go to Jail"

*********

And so on. You need those stars or line-dividers.

Dude, nice stories, but in most of them you have a serious issue with sudden changes in p.o.v. DON'T DO THAT! It's so annoying! It destroys the story.

I had a hard time figuring out who was who in this story. The first person (I) and third person (he / she) kept jumping around.

Enough said?

I could give was Two Stars! Never should he have taken her sorry ass back!

Well, I won't complain about the POV issues as there is enough well deserved criticism about those. And I won't spew all that macho "kick the bitch to the curb bullshit" either. I continue to wonder if anyone who writes those comments has ever had a meaningful relationship that would be worth salvaging.

This was not a woman who had a history of screwing around. By my count, she made one and a half mistakes. The half was fondling Chris at Tina's before Tina came back home and interrupted them. One wonders if she would have fucked him there if given the chance. One mistake she made was not telling Tina that Chris kept trying to come on to her and that she did not want to be around him.

She was obviously being eaten up with imagining what it would be like to be fucked by such a large (ridiculously as has been pointed out) cock. This was probably further fueled by the fact that her husband was the only man she had been with. Perhaps if she had had more experience before marriage she could have resisted.

What I found missing was any admission to herself or to her husband as to why she did it. She was never even forced to explain herself. We were not able to get an impression of whether or not she felt bad about what she had done or just felt bad that she had been caught. If she had successfully cheated without being caught would she have been eaten up with guilt and vowed to never stray again or would she have been making an appointment for round 2?

It would have been nice to have read her thoughts in some detail on those questions as well as see her answers to a third degree by her husband. As it was, you asked us to believe that he was mad as hell at her for a long time and then once he fucked her, everything was OK. Hell, he already knew he liked to fuck her so why did that change anything?

I would have liked to have enjoyed the fact that they got back together. However, given that we were not privy to her true feelings and therefore did not have a basis to determine if it was a one time mistake, the story sucked for me. You might say "but I had her thinking that she had done a stupid thing while she was driving to her mother's". To that I would reply "was the stupid thing the doing or the getting caught doing". Once again you have tried to give us a happy ending, but because there was so much missing it totally missed the mark. A few more paragraphs and fixing those rampant POV issues could have made this a nice story.

One other point that I have not seen made was that technically this was a rape. Not that it would have made much of a difference regarding cheating since she led Chris to the bedroom and had given him a blowjob. But she did state that she did not want to continue before he entered her.

and hopefully progress. TK U MLJ LV NV

the niggers are not like normal human beings

and the N word is simply ..................disgraceful. No wonder this world is in the strife its in. Stories are stories, nothing more, its such a shame readers cant comprehend this.

and its never over even when its over. TK U MLJ LV NV

he got enough to put it behind him and her.

Having children see a sex act is disturbing and may be Child abuse he should protect his children by keeping her away from them. Supervised visitation only

she was a dumb bitch but they got behind it and i ended up liking the story better the second time around. the color did not bother me at all, i like the black woman and white man thing, it adds a little debth and a different element to the story.

A cheating slut who would do that to a loving husband in his own BED is never again trusted.

Good story, she should be thankful that she didn't catch a disease or that he got to nut in her... I myself have a black gf and I don't care what fucking color a guy is, if a gf of mine gives away what is mine to some douche, then there is no way in hell she can come back... Blowing the load inside the pussy is seriously intimate and unforgivable...

Blink blink

I thought the low score was due the racial nature of the story.

As a skilled writer (except with homonyms and grammar and such) you are able to give us mulitple reasons to dislike this however.

Horrible truncated ending

Unlikable characters

Unrealistic characters

Horrible racist epithets

Normally I can only fit in one or two reasons for people to hate my stories, but I sit at the feet of a master today (wink)

Poor; start to end. Interesting ideas, undeveloped.

But this one kind of worked for me. My wife is black, but that doesn't matter. She already knows what would happen to her and Asshole if she cheats, and I know what would happen to me and Ho-Bag (her term) if I cheat. We had a good long talk about it before we even got together as full time lovers. I won't go into details, but we understand each other perfectly. Both of us have been cheated on in the past, so we aren't going down that road.

The thing I had the most problem with was that Asshole basically raped Wifey. She told him NO, but he kept going. He should have been thrown under the prison in addition to having the shit stomped out of him. Wifey should have come right out and said that he raped her, too.

4 Stars for this one.

It was rape, but she led him on first!!!! The ho shouldn't have let herself be put in that sitch either!!! 2* because he took her back!!!

Kind of distracting with the constant switching between POVs.

Can see this was one where it could happen but not up to usual Slirpuff standard.

Finished too quick after he basically raped her and tried to justify it.

and the kids rule the kingdom, TK U MLJ LV NV

Seems unlikely. And the entire ending felt like wham, bam, thank you ma'am. Too fast. I don't understand how raping his wife allowed him to set aside hating her for cheating. Not one of the authors better offerings. It just didn't make sense.

When a woman considers how great it would be to try a big cock, why isn't the next thought "how would I feel if my hubby went after a big set of tits?" Or ass? Our whatever?

And obviously the same for the flipside...

People is so stupid... =)

What is it with LW writers and the "magic black cock"? Here we have a reasonably intelligent, married adult woman with kids, and all she has to do is look at a big black cock and she loses her mind?

And what kind of a guy, pussy hound or not, walks around naked in an apartment when there are guests present?

Where have you been? ALL black men have 12 inch dicks and they know how to use them so that every time they fuck a woman, that woman has the best orgasm possible. It truly is the "Magic Black Dick"! LOL LOL LOL! The ending to this story didn't seem to be very logical. He's basically taking her HARD and that's going to solve all their problems? Not very likely. But hey, Slirpuff wrote it, so like the magic dick - it must be true!

the reason for the rating, is that it showed, how usually love will prevail. mistakes are made on both sides of the isle, as long as you recognize it, and correct it, it becomes a learning experience.

Fairly well written, but the taking her back was kind of far fetched. I am not much on reconciliation stories and certainly not in real life. My wife knows how I feel about that kind of thing so she would know that it's one strike and your out. I wouldn't even get one strike with her. And that's okay, because we shouldn't need any wiggle.

So, I agree with the Princess. 2 stars cause he took her back.

at least 4 centuries. TK U MLJ LV NV

?

Who care's about big, black dick? The most beautiful trophy wives that I have met, the ones that could get any man they wanted - all go for the men with the bulge in the back pocket, not the one between their legs. Money is the real attraction for a woman. Only stupid sluts go for dick. The average woman is happy if she gets a decent looking man with a decent job. Silly story, more about a white man's insecurities than anything else. Time to man up!

Thanks for the offering.

@ Hue RicardGerald's story Crime & Punishment Pt. 01 has a small background story about a black carpenter (Leroy Johnson) whose wife cheated with a white man. He beat the loverboy.

The main character Patrick Sullivan is a DA and he asked for a small punishment.....

Don't be an asshole Huedogg. Find something else to bitch about. The story was fine as written.

One of your worst.

As soon as Chris came into the room naked with guests there Tina should have kicked his ass out.

Even before she actually cheated she was already fantasizing about Chris.

And AGAIN with the person shifts!

this popped up a few times.

out load - out loud

same picture but from a different view, but still the same. assuming color has not been mentioned, then its the same as most. its not like most in that she still loves her husband(according to the story). everyone makes mistakes including moms and dads, but when kids are involved it puts a new dimension on things. it's hard to accept some comments that don't take into account the whole view.

Nothing.

Good to know that there are white wimps out there that take Black guys leavings and raise their bastard children. Lol. It's just a story and fun to see the white guy get fucked over constantly

slowly!!!

To the loser below. Guess what colour I am and that of my wife. Moron! Slirpuff pleas delete these comments. This forum is supposed to be about the story.

But I have to say RePhil is a racists !! I don't care what color this person is , what he/she/it! said I racist as heel and he should be removed from here.

What a racist piece of shit. I hope your wife does get fucked by some black dude. Oh, wait, first you'd have to find some ho skanky enough to date you. What an asshole.

Gave it a 3 because it wasn't fleshed out.

It was too short and Shannon was 2 dimensional after her introduction.

I get that on this sit the myth that all black guys have dicks hanging down to knees fits into certain interracial and cuckolding fetishes or fantasies.

My personal experience belies those ideas. True a white guy born in 1953 and living in Montana cannot provide significant numbers for analysis but because of college and working in the larger towns of Great Falls and Billings I had the opportunity to have sex with a half a dozen black females. Every one told me I was bigger than any black guy with whom they had sex.

There was also an enlightening conversation I had with a group of 'working girls' letting down their hair one cold winter night in a local bar. To a one they all stated that what you see hanging flaccid with a black guy is what you got. The phrase was showers not growers

Just another story about a pussy-whipped asshole idiot. He deserves to have a cheating whore for a wife. 1 Star

is less than you think. The average length of an erect penis is 5.16 inches (13.12 centimeters) and the average circumference is 4.59 inches (11.66 centimeters), according to a new analysis of penis length studies involving more than 15,000 men around the world. As for a flaccid penis, the average length is 3.61 inches (9.16 centimeters) and the average circumference is 3.66 inches (9.31 centimeters). This is according to a study done in 2013. No link was found between penis size and race, or penis size and foot size. So this Chris guy was a freak of literature.

Your for you're. POV's change all over the place. This is dreadful.

"The average length of an erect penis is 5.16 inches"

Thanks China and India.

1 star slurp puff tale

unfaithful mudhark, put her with the rest of the

trash

I've read it before. Still good. Throwing away a good marriage is tough. How many guys have made the same mistake, and not caught? Calling someone trash, or slut, or anything else isn't right for one indiscretion, or mistake, in my mind. Living requires a person to make mistakes, or it seems so.

I didn't really think it was racist. Easy to see how he can get so mad when your SO cheats on you. I thought it was a lot better than the score indicates. That ending was super short though like what happened after that?

This wasn't BTB nor RAAC. Shannon paid a price for her indiscretion. She got to hear what she was missing when Dan brought home dates to loudly get pleasured in the way she got for 10 years.

No, Dan did not rape Shannon. This become obvious considering she did nothing to resist. Shannon baited the hook by being dressed to entice, entered into Dan's bedroom while he was undressing and told him to not bring home any more dates. Then she reeled him in by feinting that she did not want to be taken 'like that'. Sure, he gave her anger sex, but it seemed like she was ready for it to the point of being hot, wet and finally climaxing. I can imagine her mother counselled her that if she wanted get Dan back she needed to get him claim his woman back without him realizing it. Considering they continued to make out like a loving couple in the morning, I would guess she succeeded and are on their way to resuming their marital relationship.

I woiuld have LOVED to see this story twist, with Shannon and Chris with a LONGER lasting affair with Dan being cuckold and sharing her fine ass.

Perfect picture of the typical white ass wimp that can’t hold a candle to a black cock. Guess all those white cops in the US of A know something we don’t lol

Except Dan is a real man, not a cuck. He's also not gay.

Good story overall. Would've liked to see what happened next.

A decent story, good plot. Portions felt a bit short or rushed while the ending was a tad lacking.

I liked the idea, the plot of the story. But there were a couple of things I didn’t like. First, the ending was rushed. It’s hard to believe that all the anger he had dissipated almost instantly just because he came home drunk one night and practically raped his estranged wife. There’s more to the story and it should have been included. Secondly, to the author, please pick a “person” and stick with it. And by that I mean please stop switching back and forth between first and third person. Sometimes in the same paragraph. It can be confusing as hell. One last thing: it’s a shame that in this day and age that a story of a bi-racial marriage- gone-bad would generate so many racist comments from readers. I thought the Literotica “powers-that-be” were monitoring and/or censoring all comments now. I guess flat-out racism doesn’t bother them. D.

RePhil.....feel free to actually write something, submit it and open yourself up to criticism.....go ahead, we're all waiting.

Too many of the racial stereotypes, especially Chris, in this story to make it. All of your stories are good, I didn't particularly care for this one.

that all black men are well-endowed as all white men are not. The difference percentage is just about the same in both races, if you compared within the race group. A black girl curious about the white guy is believable; but a black girl curious about the black guy isn't believable at all.

I read bigmouth before this one.

So, in that one, she didn't physically cheat, but when I finished it, I still felt totally unsettled. I didn't comment on it, or rate it, because being so unsettled, I didn't feel I had the right to 'judge'. However, the addition of the kids in that story led it to the final reconciliation. I felt, without that element, their marriage would have burnt to the ground in no time flat.

Kids do make a difference. I think even the judge's ruling was partly to try and help the innocent victims of the breakdown... not the original crime, but the toxic fallout after. I think that same thing factors here.

This one also left me unsettled, just the same as the other.

The actions by the husband after, though, go beyond acceptability. Two wrongs don't make a right. I would never accept a revenge fuck if I had stepped out, but I wouldn't have stepped out in the first place. If I ever got to that point, it would be a sign of massive marital problems. If that were the case, if I had lost that much in my relationship, I'd call it quits first. So it's my own knowledge in my standards that could not accept my wife fucking anyone, for any reason. That would be the death knell. This man is no better than his wife, in the end.

So, I guess, my story would never end up as a loving wives' one, I suppose. Well... I hope. Lol.

Just a little more of a rant for you. There is a line in it... "This wasn't rape... "

Sorry, it was. She may have relented, she may have even got into it... but she still was being abused at the start, and she still said, "please don't do this". That's rape. Anybody want to argue with me?

This story ended up being a tale of two very despicable people, both weak, both wrong, both doing things that cause untold damage in the real world, even if she did do it first.

All I can say is heaven help those kids.

2 stars from me on this one, without any ambiguity.

Good story

She screwed up

She should have slapped the shit out of him as soon as he touched her

But no story

Or

Maybe a better one

I will buy reconciliation this time

Forgiveness is easier part forget and trust again?

... with an abrupt nothing ending. He brings home a bunch of sluts to punish her and have his itch scratched, she meekly puts up with it which is complete bullshit, he pretty much rapes her and they're fine the following morning. Um, what? Terrible ending for what started out to be a decently set up, if cliche premise.

Couple of grammar errors which is unusual for you. Basically pretty good. I thought he overdid the revenge fucks and especially with the kids around.

Once is forgivable, she screwed up, paid for it in more ways then one. This was a very good story.

Needed editing.

Now he's her cuckold bitch, and Chris is going to be coming by to hug his little baby and have fun with his wife. It's going to become easy for him to hear his wife say, "pump me with that big cock!" I always love my Ugandan black wife cuckling my white ass.

Ahh Jesus Christ man you can’t end it like that. Atleast write a scene or two with some therapy. But having her move back! That’s when the story started taking a nose dive.

Cuckold

Huh...well shiitttt.

This guy is in a interracial marriage with two bi-racial girls. It is obvious his in-laws like him and have his back. He wife was an idiot but loves him. The “one and done” scenario, in my opinion, doesn’t apply here. She is remorseful and has stayed around while he was also committing adultery so for the sake of the girls and their future without him around, they should be going to counseling and trying to make it work. She never disrespected him or belittled him with the other guy and although she ended up having sex she was really sexually assaulted at the beginning. She never approached Chris for sexy but after he was banging her her body took over. Rec. in this case is warranted.

chapter 2 perhaps!!!!

Oh the story was a good idea, but you have to read it again ( or get someone else to) put it in the first character or the second, you keep jumping around, takes away the flow of it,

Did need more or another chapter but was good.