All Comments on 'Black Omen Issue Ch. 01'

Not bad! I like the back story and the world building. You’ve also hit my kinks pretty well, so that’s a plus. I look forward to reading more!

looking forward to reading more

I like everything about your story so far! Very nicely written, love the plot, love it all, can’t wait for the following chapters!!

Please keep going!

I want to encourage you to keep writing and continue this story. I absolutely gave it 5 stars because I want to read more.

I'll start with the nitpicks, since they're all easily fixable. I was a bit nervous at first because in your introductory vision, there were some errors-mainly missing words. But it just seemed to be that first section, which makes me suspect it was added later and didn't get proofreading. There's also the formatting-the paragraph breaks are extra long, but I don't see any reason they should be. It gave me the feeling that there was supposed to be time passing between each paragraph, or maybe they were flashing to different places. I noticed in the end vision, they were the same at first, but then went to standard double-spaced paragraphs. I think that's the format.

But those are nitpicks. I love your character! You've given her quite a bit of personality and a very solid backstory and introduction in the first chapter. I already love her and I'm looking forward to seeing her adventures play out. I really like the deep disturbing feel of the villain taunting her with his questions at the end of the intro and I'm eager to see it come forth. I don't know how dark you're going to make this tale but I think I'll love it regardless. A well-done dark story is one in which we'll root for the heroine to win, even if she loses-we want to root for her because we like her and care about her. If that's your inclination, don't let your (or your readers') love for your character make you go easy on her!

As for the villain, I'm very interested in meeting him in the context of the story, and not just in visions. I'm also looking forward to seeing what else you're going to do in the fleshing out of this world. It feels like a very cohesive vision. Your plot is paced very well-though with lots of teasing of later events already. You've got me hooked!

Dang this is good. I can't wait to read more.

I'm not sure why the spacing turned out weird like it did. I had to convert it over to .doc and it may have altered it a bit, but I'll try uploading in a different format next time. Thanks for the feed back and I'll hopefully get Issue 2 out in a bit!

Hello, Sir. I swear to god, this is one of the best articles I've ever read, and I can't wait to read more.This is a wonderful piece of writing that preserves the will of others and controls their lives

I thoroughly enjoyed your first story. The prose is elegant. Story has lots of potential.

You might do better with better editing/proofreading, but it's not so bad as it is.

My advice:

- have an end game in mind when you write.

- find proofreaders from community.

- post your story at mcstories as well.

Sorry, I don't have an account and can't give you the option to click like this story or like this author

But I really like this article

Please write more!

I haven’t enjoyed any story as much as this one in a long while. Thank you and please keep writing!

a brilliant story, its been a while since i've read something of this quality, the mind control is displayed very well and just how i like it to be in a story

i really hope you will keep writing more of this because you're very good