All Comments on 'Bloodlines Ch.04'

Are you getting paid by the word? Prune this back by about 75% and it would still be long-winded.

I have the next two chapters pretty much planned out, as well as some of the broader lines for the continuation of Garth's story. The story is pretty set for now, but the details are more flexible. Would you all like to see more towards Voyeur/Exhibitionism or Control/Submission? Either category is possible to work in, and there will be elements of both in any case, but I can very well see this story lean towards either.

Please comment and give constructive feedback if you have it.

Great chapter, period. I’m really enjoying the psychological aspects you’re presenting as his power grows. I wouldn’t try to go off course by pursuing one kink or the other. Here’s some food for thought that might add some depth to your story arc: what’s the bond between him and Erica look like moving forward and how will that play out since she’s Jeff’s bitch, so to speak? As his powers increase at this accelerated pace, what would happen if he found he no longer needed the herb? Why isn’t he able to sense his observers? Just a few thoughts. 5*

Turned Garth into an abusive asshole… done with this one. Too bad… it had potential. Erica is no prize; too many miles on her and too many dicks in her to ever pair bond with Garth or anyone else. Still, putting her in a situation to be raped and killed if he hadn’t just happened to come back to the room in time was too much. He cares about no one but himself. I’ll never understand the appeal of turning women in these stories into one-dimensional receptacles for men’s cum while still acting as though they are somehow worthy of a long-term relationship.

Binge read this one so far and will continue. Just a note to say this well written and enjoyable. Just the right amount of detail to lend intrigue. Well done. Thank you for sharing your work.

Would be better to have a normal relationship and develop interesting emotional insights and abilities with his gifting. The BDSM was not erotic, but paint by numbers style that could have been churned out by Chat GPT.