All Comments on 'Boring Party'

she was so EZ, or? TK U MLJ LV NV

I'm a woman? Second person, present tense? You try to write. You don't realize you can't. You use the word you a million times. You smirk.

because you obviously don't know what I did.

"You knew he would love it and would never be the wiser that your pussy was dripping with cum. You would make it up to him when you got back."

But you were so wrong wern't you. Now David has a new (Wife or girlfriend- we don't know what kind of a relationship you destroyed)

Took a break from this site to cone back to a category that has become a place for weak little girly men who enjoy their cheating on them. It's ok we understand that you're so pathetic not even your wife will sleep with you anymore; as she's keeping us company now.

Real end of this story: wife returns home to discover husband and all his things are gone. Because family & friends talk and saw you leave party with womanizing a**hole; and, someone was caring enough to let hubby know what antics you get up to. Now your parents are upset because your living back at home and nobody wants to be associated with the town slut. You know the guy you went downstairs with; well he brags a lot and your reputation has become that of the town bicycle.

You were your entire married life. Your fucked you over your entire marriage. You drank so much cum you turned into a real ass hole retard

One Star for this trash. Now Bonnie, did you read what you wrote? Talk about garbage. Next time you want to bitch about the anons, at least change your tirade. This one is getting stale.

Congratulations on having the balls to finally step out into the shark infested water that is the LW category. At least you did it and you signed your name, which is something many refuse to do.

I assume you want some constructive criticism; most new writers do, so I’ll offer a bit. Use it as you will. First, you picked the worst possible POV, 2nd person, then you posted in loving wives, without establishing she is even a wife. Another thing—you have her go from loving daughter to slut in one easy step, that’s not very believable

Try to remember, yes this is a fiction site, but even here the best stories must be believable enough that we readers can suspend our dis-belief and pretend It’s for real.

I didn’t score, but will wait for your next effort. Good Luck! cd

what's with these lousy stories in loving wives?

Nope, I didn't do jack shit! WHY do you writers insist on using 2nd person POV, just too lazy to remember names?

my women a little on the trashy side. I'd like it even more if she shared her adventure with me.

Not a story...Just a bad scene about people we don't know nothing about, in the end we are satisfied because we still don't know shit about them...1*

this story is an average guy i rather be dead what a useless waste of ink.

when she brings home the venereal disease. Make it up to him? You won't even be married to him. Relive that memory, for the rest of your whore's life.

Is that too judgemental of an impulsive wandering wife? Not for long.

Good lead up, but I hate cheating. Especially just because you feel like it.

The usual trolls are out in numbers. Ignore them and delete their personal attacks.

I lived this story back in the days of my college experience, and the experience still gives me warm chills when I recall it. Getting stuffed by a big, strange cock is many women's desire, whether they admit it or not.

What a dirty cheating cunt . Anyone who can cheat that easily has no self respect and clearly has no respect for there spouse. No guys I know would knowingly marry a girl that they knew fucked a lot of guys . So many go crazy in high school and college then want to settle down with the good guy reputations get destroyed very quickly. At a party there was a sweet girl who grew up in our area and she was with her husband and kids. Four guys I was standing with all fucked her when youngerand explicit multiple stories. One broke her ass in and when he saw her alone on line for a drink asked how that tight ass was and she got a little pissed . He asked if hubby gets it and she said no dumb mistakes of youth. He was drunk and whispered that he knows she still thinks about it and told her he remembers how she would beg and scream slower or harder and beg and scream. How she would say how much she loved his dick and drank his loads often. He told her think of me when your fucking hubby , remember all the loads up your ass pussy and in your belly .

First, in English, "you" is both second person singular AND plural, so it takes a few sentences to figure out if the, "you" is one person or several. (Unlike, for example, French--"tu" for singular, and "vous" for plural [with some exceptions--you'd normally call your boss, "vous", even if there's only one boss].

Here in English, one can't tell until several sentences into the story, irritating at least this reader and probably others.

. . . And reverse the sexes of the two main characters. The re-write this story in as similar language, action, etc., as you can. (Obviously, some changes will have to be made--perhaps he has a skin-tight T-shirt under his flannel. Or he takes off his glasses and his appearance does like Clark Kent changing into Superman!) Write it

that way with the female protagonist a blithering heap of Jello sprawled out on the pool table. Then the same anons calling for your female protagonist's hanging, drawing and quarrtering, along wiith a scarlet letter "A" tattooed across her face,!and branded on both breasts and buttocks and infibulation with barbed wire (not surgical thread); will call your male protagonist in your new story a man's man, a mensch, etc! Then after you get scored 4.80 or so, you can submit a third item (essays and reviews is the category, I think). The essay will explain what you did. That way you can show the burn the bitch Talibani here what stupid, ignorant, misogynistic, mommy's basement dwelling assholes they are.

Would know his wife was a cheating slut after she sent him that picture. The fact that she just had sex would have been written all over her face. Hope she enjoyed her divorce - she earned it.

1 star