Bound To Heal Ch. 04

Not one of the 15-20 erotic novels I'd read by this time in my life -- I was 20 -- had a shower scene like this. I had nothing to guide me. I was also in unexplored country, without a map and no hints or clues. I was not used to being the passive participant and it was clear she was not used to being the active one, 'the hunter.' I just had to make a decision and go with it. I was scared to make the wrong decision and have both of us regret my mistake.

"May I turn around please?" I asked.

"Yes."

I turned, hugged her, kissed her. Her arms wrapped around my waist, her hands hugged me above my bare butt. We both knew she could feel my hardness.

"Are you sure?" I asked, looking into her eyes.

"No, but I think it's about time I learned more about . . . life."

"Then you shouldn't be doing this. I know I've been selfish and constantly pushed you to do this, but I'm glad you've resisted if you weren't ready. You sound like you still aren't ready," I said.

"No. I guess not. But all my friends have done it and I feel left out, an outcast." She started to cry.

I kissed her tenderly, slowly, all over her face, then her lips, pressing firmly, then harder, building our passions. I didn't try touching her, just hugged her snuggly. "We need to talk," I said, and turned off the shower.

I turned her around, grabbed a towel from the rack, and dried her off, then myself. She kept her back to me so she didn't look at me being naked. I wrapped a towel around me and placed my hands on her shoulders, and guided her to my bedroom. She didn't resist. I pulled the rumpled top sheet down all the way and placed a towel on the bed for her wet bathing suit and helped her lay down on them. I lay beside her, with only my hand touching her, holding her hand.

We talked about our relationship, friends, risk, and sex. She wanted to experience sex but couldn't say yes. Naturally, I wanted us to have sex, but I could wait until she was ready. I would not force her, but I warned her I would continue to gently try to seduce her. We both looked at each other, knowing and understanding. "Close your eyes and I'll get dressed. I'll fix us a nice breakfast."

She closed her eyes.

I stood up, removed the towel, pulled open my dresser drawer, grabbed a pair of boxer underwear, and slipped them on. I turned around and saw her looking at me, calmly, and not in a shy manner.

She didn't turn away or close her eyes, just kept looking.

I walked over and sat on my bed beside her.

Her hand reached out and touched my chest, slowly rubbing it and then she said, "Please," looking into my eyes.

We never did have breakfast. I took my time, almost an hour of gentle talking and foreplay -- the touching game -- to get her bathing suit off. It took a little more time for her to finally touch me intimately, caress me, hold me and finally look at me without being overly shy. I told her I would not have sex with her that day. However, she did experience her first oral orgasm. She was overjoyed.

Then, she had just enough nerve to watch me masturbate for her. The rest of the day had been a blur of talking in donut shops, of quiet walks in parks, and more talking in coffee shops, and hugging and kissing, like new lovers. Two days later, after over an hour of the touching game, she was a happy new woman.

I feel happy every time I think of it, and sad. I'm proud she was able to be strong with her convictions and resist my attempts at gentle seduction, yet, still make such an important decision when she thought the time was right, that would affect the rest of her life, and which had included me. I think I'd been gentle and considerate. And I hope she is just as happy today. She moved out west with her parents and family.**

* * *

Julie was silent for a long moment, looking into his eyes, her heart pounding, her pulse racing. "Doogan. That is the most romantic story I've ever heard and not something from a book." She also felt a twinge of jealousy, but she didn't tell him.

"Thank you Julie" he said, feeling filled with emotion and the ache deep in his chest, the one he hadn't felt for months, as a tear slide down his cheek.

Now she wondered what it would be like to have Doogan as a boyfriend. She knew he wanted to erotically touch her, not just for sex, but out of kindness, of wanting to give pleasure, make her feel wonderful and happy. Yes, he was trying to help her heal. She reached out for him and he moved into her arms and they kissed.

His lips were firmly pressed against hers with strong emotion and passion, his hands gripping her waist tightly. After a moment, he gently broke the kiss, stepping back from her, and not looking her in the face. "Julie, I'm sorry, but I've got to go now or I might do something that I'd regret, that we'd both regret. I don't want that on our first meeting."

She looked at him in the dim hallway, "Doogan, this is our third meeting, the accident, the hospital and tonight. And I believe," she said shyly, "I gave you permission to touch me tonight. But you are right. We both need to go to sleep." She watched him step back and button his shirt.

"Good night Julie, sweet dreams," he kissed her quickly, grabbed his jacket, turned and left, wiping the wet from his cheek, feeling the ache deep in his chest, as strong as it had ever been.

Julie closed and locked the door, turned out the lights and hobbled into her room. She carefully sat on her bed and removed her clothes.

She looked down at her breasts and nipples. She thought they looked nice, like many other girls she'd seen in the high school gym change room and shower. She wondered if Doogan would like how she looked. She gently touched her nipples, pretending they were Doogan's fingers. Stop.

This was not helping her calm down, she felt wet. She slipped into her nightgown and got into bed. Her mind was full of images, songs, and feelings. She lay there wide wake, thinking of Doogan, the warm skin of his chest and the feel of the sparse hair there, and the touching game, his warm hand moving slowly up her leg and thigh.

She now knew his outer reserved shell everyone saw was not the true inner Doogan. He was clearly far more romantic, sensual, erotic and passionate than anyone could imagine. Yet, he always showed a caring gentleness. She wondered what erotic things he was capable of showing her on Saturday, in two days. She could hardly wait. She lay awake for a long time before she fell asleep.

On the drive home, Doogan's erotic CD played. Then he shut it off. His emotions were in turmoil, thinking of a few years ago, the past month, and of tonight, feeling the strong ache in his chest. After she left, he had concentrated on getting more education and creating a career for a couple years with little recreation or companionship. Anticipation and erotic pleasure were certainly powerful -- he knew it. Yet he had ignored some of the warning signs, being seduced by what he was learning and experiencing now. He wondered how he was going to solve this problem without hurting everyone. Damn. Damn. DAMN. The strong ache in his chest continued . . . I'm sorry . . . He slowed the car down as his vision became blurred and a tear slide down his cheek. He wiped his eyes. He had to think . . .

* * *

The next day Doogan took out some of his frustration and anger at himself by cleaning his apartment. Then with more calm he got groceries, and went for a haircut.

He walked into the barber shop he frequented. A young lady with neatly trimmed jet black hair, in one of those newer hair styles, flashed him a lovely smile as a man was getting up from her barber chair. "I'll be right with you sir."

Doogan had been going to the barber shop for a few years, yet had never had his hair cut by her. She had either been busy or on her day off.

The man paid for his haircut and she returned to Doogan.

"Right this way sir," indicating her barber chair.

Doogan sat down and watched her in the big wall mirror as she stepped beside him.

"How can I help you today sir?" she asked, looking at him.

"Short around the sides and just a little off the top please," he said, watching her in the mirror, noticing her beautiful face, with just a touch of makeup. He found himself almost immediately lost in her blue-grey hypnotic eyes. She wore her clothes in that layered look many of the young ladies preferred today, but she didn't look sloppy.

They talked about weather, politics, road construction. She talked about her frustration with all the detours and getting her two kids to sports. Even just getting the groceries was a pain.

"Do you take time for yourself?" he asked. It was clear she was a busy woman and busy people sometimes don't take time for themselves, to relax and enjoy a few minutes rest.

She stopped cutting his hair a moment, thinking. "Probably not enough," she replied. "Having a couple kids keeps me fairly busy."

He closed his eyes and enjoyed the way she was cutting his hair. Her warm hands were so gentle, with a delicate touch. Yet, she wasn't afraid to touch his hair or head with some firmness to do her best work.

"Do you watch movies or do some reading for enjoyment?" he asked, but not wanting to get too nosy or personal.

"I like movies, but never seem to have enough time for them. I seem to read more crime novels than anything," she said, clipping away at his hair.

He closed his eyes again, enjoying her delicate touch for another couple minutes. "How about romance novels?" he asked.

"Not really," she said, walking to the other side of the chair to continue cutting his hair.

He opened his eyes and watched her in the mirror. She seemed to work in an efficient manner, but he was no barber, he wouldn't have a clue. Doogan was still amazed at her continued gentle and delicate touch.

She finished some touch up with both scissors and electric clippers. She took a large soft makeup brush and gently brushed his face to clear any loose hair and carefully removed the protective drape.

"Thank you very much" he said, and handed her a $20. Bill, "Please keep the change."

"Thank you sir," she said, flashing her lovely smile.

Doogan noticed there were no other customers. "May I ask you a question please?"

"Of course sir."

"I dabble at writing." he said. "Presently I'm writing kind-of a romance novel." He didn't want to say erotica and scare her.

"Would you mind if I included you, just your first name. The hero is getting his hair cut before inviting a girl over to his apartment. I really enjoyed the way you cut my hair and I'd like to include the experience in the novel."

"Oh my goodness. Really?" She looked at Doogan, stunned, her hand quickly coming up to her chest. "Me?" She couldn't believe someone would want to include her in a novel.

Doogan was surprise by her surprised reaction.

She stood there beaming a beautiful smile, looking at him. "I . . . Goodness. Um . . . Yes. Ok. Thank you very much. I'm deeply honoured. You'll have to let me buy a copy of your book."

"Well, my writing isn't very good, so I doubt if any publisher will pick my novel and place it in any book store. However, I may self-publish if the cost isn't too high," he said. "The hair cut story section should be ready next week. May I ask your name please?"

"Erica, with a 'c'," she said, looking at him, still a little surprised.

He wrote down her first name to make sure he didn't forget. He wrote out his email on another page from his little note pad. "For security, here is my email. If you don't feel safe about this, then don't contact me. I will understand. If you do contact me, I'll send you the haircut section from the chapter for your approval."

"Thank you very much sir," said Erica, as she watched him go out the door.

Her complete surprise and the beautiful smile on her face made Doogan's day. It was clear he had lifted her spirits too. It was always nice to please and help people.

Well, given what he was learning, he'd love to surprise plenty of girls with so much pleasure they'd need to be in bondage to fully enjoy the wonderful overload of pleasure. STOP IT. I've already got problems. I can't be the 'pleasure-sorcerer' to every girl on the planet. God, I'd love to . . . there were so many girls that just won't know or experience . . . that were in pain . . . that needed to feel happy . . . pleasure. STOP IT.

* * *

Doogan's mind had been in turmoil all afternoon, trying to think of solutions. He had an early dinner at 5 pm and drove to the erotic store. He walked in at 5:40 pm looking for some items.

The store owner and the part time girl Stacy had told him about, who worked Friday evenings, Saturdays and Sundays, were in the store. Stacy walked over to Doogan,

"May I help you find something sir," she said, surprised to see him come in the store.

"Thank you, I'm looking for the following items," said Doogn, and showed her the list in his little note book.

Stacy was surprised at the items and picked up a hand basket and gave it to him. "Ok sir, please follow me as she walked to another isle. She picked up a couple of the items and handed them to Doogan as she walked farther and stopped at a large box on a shelf. "Are you sure you want this item sir, it is a little expensive." She looked at Doogan, whispering, "I've never tried this, but I hear it is very good. It needs electric power meaning it is strong.

"Yes, thanks," said Doogan.

"This way please Sir," as she walked to another display shelf and pointed at a slightly larger box. "Are you sure about this item too sir?"

"I think so," said Doogan, "Do you know if it's any good?"

Stacy smiled at Doogan, "It is reported to be very good Sir." She then whispered, "I haven't tried it either, sorry, I don't really know Sir."

Doogan hesitated a second. "Ok I'll take it too. Thanks."

Stacy picked up a couple more of the items, placing them in the basket he carried. There were only two items left and she wasn't too pleased about them. "Sir, I'm nervous about you purchasing these last two items. They are right over here," as she lead the way to another wall display.

"Which ones would you recommend as the least painful Stacy?" Doogan asked.

"They are all painful Sir, and it depends on the power behind them Sir," she said, not really answering his question, fear now in the back of her mind.

"Please Stacy. I'm trying to get the best for you, which means the least amount of pain. You know I will be gentle. I'm not a brutal person. You did give me permission."

Stacy looked into his eyes, "I know Sir, It's just fear. I'm sorry Sir." She looked at the display then picked two floggers, "which colour Sir?"

"The black one is fine," said Doogan placing it in the basket."

She picked up two crops from the middle and the end of the display, holding them out for Doogan.

He took one, placing it in the basket too. "Thank you Stacy," Doogan said, looking into her eyes, "Please remember, sparingly and with reluctance."

"Yes Sir," replied Stacy, turning and walking towards the front counter carrying the larger box. She still felt anxious and nervous about the two items.

Doogan carried all the other items. He paid for them and Stacy asked the owner if she could help the gentleman carry the packages to his car. 'Sure' said the owner.

Stacy walked outside, with Doogan leading the way to his car.

"I'm sorry Sir. I got very nervous with the last two items. Please forgive me Sir," said Stacy.

"Stacy, you don't have to be sorry or nervous. This seems to be the first test of our relationship and it shouldn't be. I'm sorry if you are nervous and frightened. Those are for show and you know I'll rarely use them. They are not like a whip and I'm not a brutal person. You know that, right? I thought we had overcome that problem and moved on," said Doogan. "Please Stacy, we still have some fun shopping to do for you, and I'm buying remember."

"Yes Sir," she said, "Doogan I know you are serious about not hurting me but . . ." She changed her mind, she wouldn't say it. "I also know you love to pleasure a girl," she said smiling, remembering her first night with him at his apartment and the ritual. How did you know I had never tried a couple of these items Sir?"

"I didn't know, I just did the research and from our talks about toys and came up with a list of items I thought would be useful. I'm glad you haven't tried some of them. I plan on a lot of T-n-D for you with these. I want to hear you say 'uncle' in 10 languages before turning these off." He had a big grin on his face. "I'll wait here until you finish work. Thank for helping to carry the bags."

"Ok," said Stacy, feeling a little better. She returned to the store. She was excited now, both to try some of the items Doogan just bought, and to see what lingerie he was going to buy for her in the next hour.

Stacy left the store at 6:05 pm, and walked to Doogan's car in the parking lot near her work. "I can't wait to go shopping with you for lingerie." she said, buckling her seatbelt. And she couldn't wait for Doogan to use the toys in 'tease and denial' play. She was already wet, thinking about everything he was buying.

"Have a good day?" he asked.

"Wonderful. I thought about this the whole day Sir," she said with a big smile. When you came in and bought all these items," she pointed her thumb over her shoulder at the back seat, "I was very excited."

"I'm glad you are happy Stacy. You seem happier," Doogan said, thinking, far happier than when we first met. "I guess you're always ready for some shopping?"

"I can't wait to see what you're going to buy," said Stacy, I want to tease you, heat you up, until steam appears, and something else too, she licked her lips, smiling.

Women were amazing, always so eager to go shopping, Doogan thought with a smile. If you gave them a choice between sex and shopping, half of them would be going out the door heading towards the stores, and the other half would freeze trying to make the decision. Shoes, clothes, and makeup, were probably the most important things, until you reminded them of orgasms. There must be something in their genetics that makes them forget about orgasms -- even multiple orgasms. He almost chuckled out loud. How could you forget about orgasms?

Hmm, maybe that's a good thing. He briefly imagined dozens of 'O-Clubs' for women, staffed by guys under 30 in baggy shorts, shirtless with muscular physiques, working in cubicles behind flowered curtains. There, the sounds of women moaning and crying out in rapture could be heard over the primal beat of erotic music, as these guys worked their magic with assorted electric pleasure toys and machines that never got tired or stopped.

"Which place are we going to first?" asked Stacy.

The one with the most machines, thought Doogan, his grin getting bigger.

"There are two lingerie stores at the shopping centre," he said, grinning, again thinking of the erotic scenario . . . a more personal touch was also available in the 'Cum-as-you-are-Lounge,' a large open area with no cubicles or curtains, just plenty of carpets, couches, large padded chairs, and whirring, humming, and chugging pleasure machines of various sizes and descriptions; where a cacophony of female moans and exclamations mixed with the erotic music; and where warm skin could be seen everywhere, rubbing against warm skin, or plunging in and out -- at extra cost of course. Thank you very much, but money is no object when a girl really wants something. The world would 'cum' to a 'grinding' halt if given this scenario.

Stacy noticed his big grin, "What's so funny Sir?" she asked.

"Oh . . . I just find it a little amusing about women and shopping and that you'd be all hot and wet over me taking you out shopping for lingerie. Either, I turn you on or the lingerie does, or both," he said. "or is it being around all those sex toys all day long? Are you really a sex maniac?"