All Comments on 'Brad, The Hypnotist Ch. 06'

This is just getting worse as the chapters progress. You're obviously having difficulty with first person singular and points of view. Using "you and her" in the same sentence to refer to the same person.....????? Confusing, crazy-making and utterly......I don't know how else to describe.....ridiculous!!!!

This "thing" about big black cocks, very tiresome, boring and bordering on racist. Can you find something else to describe these men other than dominant and hung?

I won't be reading further - sorry! Its just too repetitive in itself this story and a copy of every other description in every other story line like this.

I know I'm brutally honest but I think you should know and learn.

FIND SOME ORIGINALITY! Take the hypnotist story and twist the scrap out of it. Make Brad's character younger and apprentice to an old Reveen-like character but the lad can't quite get the formulaic instructions quite right and fouls everything up except he is able to convince his victims, women and men that he's impossibly well-endowed even though he is merely average. And if you're going to exploit a young 18 year old teen at least leave her with some innocence. In fact, leave the teens out and focus on 23 and older. Learn some rules about composition, spelling GRAMMAR then carry on!