Breaking Barriers Ch. 12

Actually, he realized, they were dates and numbers. Each month and day laid out, with numbers ranging in the hundreds to just under fifteen hundred for each day. The dates started sometime early last year, and the latest dates had numbers ranging in the mid-to-low hundreds. Curiously, some dates only had a zero next to them.

Kip shrugged, and stalked off. Nothing there told him where Leo had gone, and his computer was still on screen saver. He checked the break room again, but now most of the employees were lined up for lunch, and no sign of Leo. He almost gave up and decided to just finish out his work day, but first a bathroom break to clear his head.

Even though he passed rather well, he didn't want to chance anything in a bathroom, so he usually went up a floor to the more private bathroom. It was a bit of walk out of the way, but he usually budgeted the time into the day. It was quieter and cleaner too, since there were fewer employees on the upper floor, and many of them had their own private office bathrooms and didn't have to use the floor-wide bathroom.

That's why he was surprised when he nearly ran into Leo on the way in.

"Shit!" Leo cursed as he fumbled and dropped something in a colorful wrapper. By instinct, Kip reached down and grabbed it, handing it back to him, but not before looking at the label.

"A protein bar?" Kip asked incredulously as Leo yanked it back, a scathing glare etched across his gaunt face. Now that he could see him better from the front, it dawned on him just how skinny Leo had gotten. He'd always been lean, but when had his dress shirt begun to bunch up so loosely like that? When had his cheekbones been so visible, and the dark circles appear under his eyes? "There's a catered lunch down there, and you're eating a protein bar." Kip glanced around before adding, "In this lovely scenery."

"At least there's a calorie count on the wrapper. Nothing downstairs is labeled, not that I have to explain it to you." Leo fiddled with the wrapper tentatively, hunger in his eyes, but also hesitation as he regarded Kip. "What are you doing up here?"

"Using the bathroom." Kip gestured with his thumb toward a stall. "It's cleaner here. But I did want to have a talk with you, about that constant stick up your ass. I do my work and usually keep to myself - so what problem do you have with me exactly? Because I'm gay?"

Confusion replaced any animosity on Leo's face, and he clutched the protein bar protectively as he muttered. Kip snapped at him to speak up, and he shrank back. Kip almost felt sorry.

"I said, certainly not. Not that it matters, but I'm gay too."

Kip stared blankly before the outrage filtered out. "What the hell then? Do you just think I'm that bad at my job?"

"Of course not. You're one of the better programmers on the team. That's why you and I need to put in the best work. We're carrying the weight of this game, and that expo is a big deal. Excitement spurs pre-order purchases, which funds development and maintenance costs after launch, which gives the game a healthy enough start to bring in all the long-term players. It just makes sense."

"I can't even begin to understand you. Why all the snide remarks? Especially about my personal life."

Leo sighed and smoothed the sealed wrapper on his protein bar, and pocketed it. His bony shoulders slumped, and a look of vulnerable defeat swept over him. Perhaps it was the timing, or the current location, but Kip could visibly see a wall break from within.

"Jealousy," Leo admitted. "Or rather, envy. I've never had any real luck with dating, and to see you flaunt yours... Well, it's always easier for your type, isn't it? Cute twinks get all the attention." Leo's eyes roved over Kip's form, not in lust, but another kind of longing. "It must be great to have that body type. A great metabolism. A stunning bone structure."

It took everything in Kip's power to hold back a scoff or an eye roll. If only he knew.

"I'd work on your personality before I worried about your body," Kip said. He jolted at the realization of his words, worried he'd been overly harsh, but Leo nodded soberly.

"I deserve that. I know. Not that there's anything I can do to change the past, but I'm sorry for how my personal feelings manifested. I never meant to discount your skills and value to the team. I just wanted everything to be perfect." He ran a hand across the outline of the protein bar in his pocket and then turned to leave the bathroom. The sense of pathetic defeat was too heavy for Kip, and he wasn't sure how Leo bared that sort of weight day in and day out. Could he have been off-base about him as well?

"Hey." Kip lightly touched Leo's arm, who turned and waited. "I get it. I care about the game too, and I know we've all been working hard. We're on track, and the expo is going to go great. You don't have to worry so much." Kip smiled, hoping to set the other man at ease. Leo quirked a small smile in return. He wasn't half-bad looking when he wasn't stuck in a perpetual scowl, Kip noticed.

"I know. On some level, I know, but on a deeper one, there's all these anxieties that plague me. I'll just be thankful when it's over. At least until the next project." Leo nodded and headed out, leaving Kip some privacy.

He only hoped that the promises of smooth sailing would come true at the expo, and further more, he hoped it would be enough for Leo.

* * *

As Vale opened the door to the restaurant and let Kip in first, he commented just low enough for his hearing aids to pick it up, "You look a little green around the gills."

"Just nervous. I don't have that great a track record meeting a boyfriend's parents. Not that I'm in high school anymore, but those jitters resurface every now and again."

"What did your high school boyfriend's parents think?" Vale wondered aloud. Kip turned and whispered as they moved through the crowd to their reserved seats.

"They thought he had a very ugly girlfriend."

Vale could barely cover his snickers, and Kip smiled. Physically presenting as male, but still having to bow to parental authority and socially present as female had been a frustrating experience, but it had made for some interesting situations.

Gentle nudges and a subtle, yet firm hand on his behind herded Kip towards two seated adults who were talking quietly to themselves. The woman had pale blond hair in a short bob with striking blue eyes, and the man had an upstanding, conservative look. His hair was raven black, with only hints of distinguished gray at the temples. When they approached, both turned their way, and Kip noticed that their most appealing features were the smiles of genuine kindness.

He wasn't used to that, but he sure welcomed it. Vale's father stood to shake hands with him, and Vale pulled out his chair and helped him to sit before taking his own seat. Kip briefly clasped hands with Vale's mother in greeting, her warmth infecting him with his own contagious smile.

"Mom, Dad, this is my boyfriend, Kip Patterson," Vale said with a flourish, smiling and nudging the smaller man.

"Pleased to meet you, hon," Vale's mother said. "We never got to meet any of his past boyfriends. I was starting to think he was embarrassed of us." She flashed her son a mock reproachful look, and Kip giggled. He briefly wondered how many past boyfriends Vale had, but they'd talked about his past, and he trusted his honesty.

"This is the only boyfriend worth meeting," Vale said without a hint of hesitation before he realized what he said. He glanced at Kip and caught his eye, a warm swell burgeoning in his heart. It took him a moment to recognize that feeling - unbridled love and adoration, and he hadn't felt that before. Not before Kip. His next statement came out as almost a private whisper. "I think he's a keeper, for sure."

"As long as you're happy, son," Vale's father said, clapping him on the shoulder, smiling proudly. "You're getting older. Time to settle down. I was married to your mother by your age." Kip smiled at the instant acceptance, but Vale notably rolled his eyes.

"It was different times back in the pilgrim days. You needed to get married and procreate young to work the farms and shoe the horses," he drawled, and his mother playfully smacked him from across the table with an unrolled napkin.

"Don't age me more than life already has," she exclaimed, and they all laughed, with Kip modestly joining in. All his nervousness dissipated as the conversation flowed, and he managed to talk back and forth with his boyfriend's parents in between their ordering and the food arriving. They had been warned about his hearing loss, and Vale helped fill in the blanks when he needed, especially at the dinner crowd filled in the restaurant the background drone interfered with his hearing aids.

He got to talk about himself and his work, to which Vale's parents seemed interested in. As much as their generation could be, with all the technological specifics. It was more than he could have asked for, but the older couple made him feel heard, whether they understood it or not. Eventually, the conversation turned towards Vale's younger years, and Kip was treated to some embarrassing childhood stories while he finished his entrée.

"So, were they allowed back to the pool after that?" Kip asked, leaning forward on his elbows like a kid following along on a tantalizing campfire story.

"Of course," Vale said, interrupting his mother's recollection of an unfortunate swimsuit altercation. "It was Zariah's fault anyways. I always just got in trouble by association."

Vale's father grunted, tapping his fork against his plate with a mischievous glint in his eye, but his mother carried on.

"You're just lucky you both were talented swimmers and needed on the team," she said, glaring daggers at him that softened the moment she drifted back in memories. "It wasn't all bad. Seeing you bring home so many medals and trophies. I remember she did well too in that department. Do you hear from her anymore? She was almost like a sister to you for a while. Always at our house after swim practice. I was quite fond of her maturity and wit."

Vale's eyes lit up for a moment. "Actually, yes. She got in touch with me just a little while ago. I hadn't really heard from her all throughout college and some time after, but she said she would be in town soon. She said she wanted to visit and that she had a surprise."

"Why haven't I heard about this?" Kip asked, leaning back and crossing his arms.

"Sorry," he said, looking sheepish and remorseful. "She wasn't too talkative through text, and it was sudden. Plus, we both had other things going on." Kip shrugged. It was true.

"Well, let her know that we'd like to see her too," Vale's father interjected. "I'm curious about the young woman she's grown into."

"Me too," seconded his mother, and more stories were shared as their plates dwindled. More childhood moments, laughs, and memories were shared, and Kip's smile broadened throughout the night as his perspective on the man he was falling in love with grew. They kept catching each other eyes and sharing a smile, although Vale's was often tinged with blush. Kip reminded him later that night that it was okay.

He wanted to know everything, because each piece of him was a small token to cherish in his heart. He wouldn't have him any other way.