All Comments on 'Brief Lapse of Judgment'

Thanks for sharing your work.

(I had some weird Lit snafu with the screen blanking, so if this appears multiple times, hopefully the extras will be deleted)

A pretty good story Prof. When compared to it's competition tonight it stands out like Wuthering Heights. I suppose Rich did have a real beef with Jody, technically speaking. But Summer did tell him no, so that should have ended it. Jody better keep an eye on Ricn, I don't think he is a friend at all.

Nice story. It sounded like Rich wrecked his own marriage by cheating on Heather first, then Jody and Summer got caught up in the fallout. Hopefully, Heather's new guy will treat her right.

I'm glad it worked out and had a happy ending.

Real and sympathetic characters in Jody and Summer. It’s strange how we rationalize tolerating friends like Rich... until we cannot.Thanks. *****

. . . he wasn’t yet married to Summer — though Rich was his best friend, and that means Jody had committed adultery with his best friend’s wife — and then Rich, now divorced, tried to commit adultery with his best friend’s wife, but Summer stopped things, but not before he fingered her? Did I get all of that right?

I get why Rich said that he was going to help Jody by proving Summer was just like every other woman, a slut, because Rich really hated women. He was bitter at all women, just as he was bitter at Jody for having fucked Heather. What I don’t get is how Rich managed to stay good friends with Jody, without his bitterness showing through for those couple of years before the hot tub incident.

Nor do I get Jody’s extreme reaction to Rich fingering Summer, when he knew he’d done a lot more than that with Heather. He stormed out, without listening, and stormed out of his kids’ life as well, when he was just as guilty as she was. Actually, at the point when it was revealed that Jody had fucked Heather, I wondered if that wasn’t a change in your writing plans, because it came out of left field.

If there was a moral to this story, it was John, chapter 8, but it took a kind of disjointed path to get there.

That he deserves to be married to the whore

Maybe a little little improbable with all the long held secrets but nice entertainment.

and there were a few neat plot twists that helped the story move along.

They must have some pretty potent recreational drugs in your corner of the world.

Your characters names changed several times, which is always off putting. Heather became Lois, then Summer became Lois. Who is Lois? Jody became Joe (which I guessed was a nickname for him)?

The addition of him having sex with Heather makes me wonder why he thought he was such great friends with Rich? I know if I screwed my best friend's wife, it probably wasn't that great a friendship.

You should reread your next story before submitting, you will likely catch the names mixup next time. Thanks for sharing and keep trying.

Reading some of the other stories, besides the dialogue and fun twists, I think I know why I love Hotprof's stories. In almost every cheating wife story, the guy's an angel who's a perfect lover, and almost always finds out the woman is either a complete idiot or evil incarnate. In his (or her) stories, the woman feels more real and makes a mistake, and (beside the coach) the male's aren't perfect and have their flaws as well. And the villain in this story is very believable - I've known a few guys being like that after a break-up. Hell, probably the trolls who one star this story just because it isn't a 'burn-the-bitch' are those type of guys. 5 Stars and probably will end up with a lot lower rating than it deserves.

I know of people who do things they are ashamed of and after a while, their mind just forgets it to get rid of the guilt. That’s the intent with Jody. Right from the start, I wrote the wife like she was aware of him cheating. Of course I wanted it to be a bit of a shock, but also explain her attitude towards what happened. Rich is based on a real person I knew who remained close friends with a guy who screwed his live-in, but wouldn’t have a thing to do with her.

To the person who commented on that: there were no name changes. Joe is Jody, and Summer, Heather and Lois were three different people. Lois was Jody's co-worker that he told Summer gave him a handjob. There are some typos, but no more than other stories on here. Seems nitpicky to me.

Sorry, I don’t see anywhere that the names are switched. Yes Joe is short for Jody. Summer is Jody’s wife, Heather is Rich’s ex, and Lois is only mentioned as Jody’s co-worker. Where were their names switched?

Seemed fairly realistic, wife was drunk and got groped, hubby took it wrong and left. Friend was just trying to get revenge and screw up their marriage.

They get counseling to fix problems and ex friend gets his ass kicked. Gave it a four because of multiple errors and because it was almost too likely of a situation. We all read this section to be distracted from reality, most of us anyway, and this was not over the top in either direction.

First, I would like to thank you for the disclaimer that no one gets killed in this story. After your last story, even with the disclaimer, I expected Rich to get all psycho and somehow hurt Summer short of killing her, but was a little more relaxed than I would have been without the disclaimer.

Story deserves a lot better than the score it has so far (3.60). But then in this story the men are the bad guys and the women are the wronged, good ones who have risen above. Not a good formula to get a high score in LW.

I didn't have issues with the stuff ReedRichards did. Often when people are guilty, they will bury that stuff and make themselves believe they're faultless and divert the blame elsewhere. It would have been interesting if the author expanded on that, as it's highly pertinent in this category. Jody was in denial about having fucked Heather to the point that he has made himself believe that he wouldn't have fucked her even if she came to his bed naked. Rich was in denial of his part in the destruction of his marriage and blamed Heather, and then all women as sluts. One of the hardest things to do in life is being honest. Not only being honest with others, but especially being honest with yourself.

everyone was screwing everyone else lol half of the story made no sense u need an editor maybe a few editors. u should have made this a sexual fantasy piece nothing in this story was good at least ppl would have had a wacking off story

Enjoyable read a bit different from the normal LW stuff.

Good creativity with several twists to keep the reader guessing.

Thank you for sharing your story.

Gracias

I'm glad you appreciated the disclaimer. I'm accustomed to killing off characters, but trying to keep the body count to a minimum here. I definitely see and appreciated ReedRichards's point and just was giving my side. When the feedback is coming from a writer on here that I respect, I never take it lightly.

I'm glad you liked this one and think the scores low. However, I do not write these for a high score. I'm sure you know I am fully aware of the formula that gets high scores in this category. I've written a few BTB stories, just haven't submitted them... mostly because thought the older ones I have submitted are more interesting.

Thanks for all others commenting - even the ones who didn't like it

But he had no forgiveness when he believed Rich fucked Summer? The hypocrisy in this fucktard is amazing. Summer needs to divorce his judgemental, hypocritical ass. She fucked up, but Jody’s actions were as bad, if not worse. He abandoned his wife AND children because he believed, absent of proof, that she cheated. The lack of trust shows that he is a selfish prick who deserves being raped in court...and I wouldn’t feel sorry for him.

Summer should have divorced Jody. Your failure to do so shows you have no idea what you’re writing. Imagine your wife leaves you after accusing you of something you didn’t do and every time you tried to explain yourself, she accuses you of lying....how long would you remain married to a woman that distrusts you?

And why was it ok for Jody to cheat on Summer but Sunner had better not even fucking FLIRT with another man? Answer that fucking question, you shit eating, Fuckwad! Or are you one of those cumstai s who believe men can cheat but women have to be chaste?

Asshole.

I re-read this, trying to figure out where I went wrong the first time. I commented that names seemed to switch, and I now think I was reading too much into the names of some almost off-screen characters. Mandy was his personal assistant, and Lois was used once as a made-up person he did something with, to taunt his wife with.

It's a poor defense, but I'm pretty sure I was drunk when I commented. Aside from my confusion, the story was pretty good. I still wonder what happened during the flash-forward he had, "two weeks later," but it wasn't really germane to the plot.

Thanks for sharing!

Wow, way to make it personal. You know the writer isn’t the protag, right? Saying those comments about hotprof is laughable. Read his stories, he gets shit on a lot for how well things end up for the wives in his stories. Honestly, I think his point here was to make the husband the one who was more at fault. Not my fav, but damn good hotprof. 5 stars just because it deserves a higher rating. Thanks for turning anon comments back on. WA

Sorry Bud , but you still need an editor. There are so many word use errors and wrong word errors. That I’m not going to recite them all.

Im sorry but this story is real, there's way too many fuck boi writers on here writing about sluts with big dds and guys with humongous dicks and have zero real life experience. This story reads like a real life divorce that almost happened. First off, the haters need to understand that men see their wives as not only their soul mate but also at times like a possession, honestly what man has not said to himself, she's mine. We live in a highly complex, highly sexual society that is more inclined to allow the women to be a promiscuous whore and blame the dude for some misguided or emotional shortcomings versus hold the bitch responsible. No-one is clean in this. Jody fucked his wife's friend years before, however that's on that bitch not having the nerve to dump a man and instead be a hussy. This dude rich isnt his friend, he's god damn scum, what you're gonna keep a man who implies your wife is a cheating whore and slut and he deserved to be punched in the fucking face. Oh hell most men do more than 2 sucker punches when you violate or touch his woman. Rich is a very real depiction of these asshole alpha males who think their god's creation and can fuck and use any woman they want. These assholes are the ones with real deep seated issues or as I call them "fuck bois" I think it's great that the man and wife rebuild their marriage and repair the damage. This world is a cruel and vindictive place and if you think other people care about you, you got a very naive view of the world. People are selfish, they will fuck you over for their own gain 9 times out of ten and they don't care. Props to this writer for creating a very realistic divorce almost happening setting and props to the husband and wife for sticking it through, most people get weak take a side to blame and divorce.

We all forgot that no matter what problems rich and heather had in their marriage, Jody should not have fucked her in the first place. He should have talked to her, setup or not. As a long time friend of rich he could have talked to her as a friend should and not lusted over her, drunk or other wise if you can't control yourself after drinking then you should not be around your FRIENDS girlfriends or their spouses. Thats a weak ass excuse, thats why rich was so fucking angry and wanted that revenge thing he never got over it, reither he cheated or not on HIS wife. Jody should have been a friend. karma is a bitch served cold as Hell. heather was pregnant at the time dude what was he thinking, oh, he was drunk, now he's upset about Summer getting finger fucked. Jody lucky thats all that happen. Now he Knows how Rich feels.

If you read what the author wrote, the real Karma was Richs' wife cheating on him with the protagonist as revenge against Rich. Rich was cheating on his wife, so Jody was used as the revenge guy. Rich was just an idiot plain and simple who shouldn't have cheated on his wife in the first place.

she explained the hot tub but she was outside with him for 10 mins with no panties .she knew she had none she could have waved goodbye at the door but she didn't .he never brought it up so she said nothing... SHE CHEATED.

learn how to write or at least have someone proof it

The story was good. But yet you have all these would be Anon critics who have never written anything but their name who love to tell us how to write. I’m the first to admit that I’m not a professional writer, don’t claim to be. It’s for fun. There may be mistakes, typos, spell check issues like your for you’re and vice versa. So what? Forget the punctuation Nazis and move on. Life is short.

of this counseling crap.

So she knew what kind of guy he was and she says she had fought him off before. If that is the case why would she put herself in that situation to begin with and why, after all these years, kiss him back? The correct response, if she did go in the tub as written, would be to slap his face, call her husband, and run away. Not kiss him back.

Summer and Rich are not people you want around in your life.

Most of these Anonymous critics are still using the see & spell

A bit silly but liked it

OK...

I’m glad my stories have triggered you enough to go troll all of them.

2nd time through and I still like it.

It is actually a pretty good plot worthy of an expanded story to explore a little.

Nice two pager.

Very good story. A good example of what could happen by not talking out a problem. In the story it's a pity that no one told Jody that his indiscretion with Heather was known by Rich and by Summer. It's surprising that Rich was able to maintain a friendship with Jody as it seems that Jody was part of the reason that Heather and Rich divorced. How did that not come out and become public knowledge.

It needs some editing but a good story overall, with communication being the key to a relationship.

instance where character names became confused.

++++++++++++

Rich woke up around nine and phoned Summer from Mark's landline.

"Hello?" said Summer in a tired voice.

"Hi, it's me," Jody said calmly.

+++++++++++++++++

.

However, the already noted word choice and grammar problems do detract from a smooth flowing story (i.e. happier readers and commenters.)

.

Thanks for a great plot, well told.

Keep 'em comin'.

Very good story. I understand grammar and continuity are very real problems. Can't be helped without a good editor. Hope you find one soon...

Infantile. Boring. Such a simplistic plot. Smarter to blame the hot tub - illicit sex always happens when people use a hot tub.

Weak story, there is no plot worth of considering here. Three fucked up characters with a lot of miscommunications between husband and wife. That has been done 6 hundreds of years ago by WS in "Othello". Your story is a caricature compared to that. If you are going to continue to write make sure you have some ability to create a decent plot instead of psychobabble.

Was a good storyline, in the end good communication saved the day. The counseling in the storyline for them both gave me the impression that they both wanted to fix all of their issues and would live happily ever after. Well done 5 stars

Awful

stupid shit ,divorce the whore ,wimp

Rancher wrote nice review. I will go along with his 5*.

Ending was a bit sloppy.

What the story illustrates:

1) Getting drunk is stupid (as well as very unhealthy)

2) The more open the communication the better the marriage3) Good marriage counselors are worth their weight in gold. (In my opinion, most are not worth lead.)

3) While flirting is natural to dating, sexual flirting is stupid, and married people have no business flirting with others.

4) Few people understand true 'agape' love.

The Hoary Cleric

Load of crap.

Jeez, the 6th extinction cant happen soon or fast enuf. We humans while monkey smart w/ technology and shit have actually devolved to the monkey nigger level where intelligent thought is pitiable, treating ea other w/ a minimum of respect is seen as weakness and we treat everything around us in a bestial, indifferent way and we ignore if not despise the qualities that make us human and supposedly sentient. rk

Juvenile cast!

Imagine trying to be intellectually smug while using racist terms, all in a comment about a short story on a free porn site. You've exposed yourself as a mentally backwards piece of shit, and all of the 5 dollar words in the world won't validate your point.

Decent story, gets a lot of mileage out of 3 or 4 bad decisions.

With Friends like that!

That was a good job of showing human weakness, with Jody, and Summer. It also shows how twisted a mind can get after a trauma such as Rich’s divorce. Thanks for your attempt to look into the human mind. KS

The story had a good plot line, but it wasn’t developed enough. And the kids needing counseling, because dad was gone for 3 weeks? Didn’t hold water. It’s almost like the author wanted to communicate the ending, and then tried to throw in some back details to explain it. I think if Jody fucked his best friend’s wife, there would have been drama from that point onward. And WHY would Summer, have gotten in the hot tub to begin with, if she knew Rich wanted to fuck her? I gave it a 4, cause it had a good plot. But as Ricky Ricardo used to say, “ You got some splainin’ to do! “

I really don’t enjoy stories where everyone is a cheater. I have no empathy for any of them when no one is in the right. I certainly don’t like it when they all agree to stay together.

ANOTHER CHEATING WHORING WIFE AND A STUPUD CUCK HUSBAND WHO RECONCILES WITH THE WHORE!!

THIS AUTHOR IS A CUCK

A bit playground like , they weren’t married and he had some on the side while the woman had got him drunk, and the 2 years in therapy?

I. Liked the plot but not how you made them react

If you’re going to let a counselor talk you into taking her back, why not just let her talk you into it and save the money?

Good enough for 4 stars.

Bill S.

Wait how did Heather get rights to take the kids out of state? Without Rich's permission or proof of abuse, that is not easy to do.

Where did Jody's kids appear from.Along with bad grammar this is a confusing story.

I liked the story, but the typos did break up the enjoyment. I'd suggest fixing all the errors, then resubmit.

So it seems the loving wife was the only one that WASN'T a cheater. Well how'd you like them apples!? OK technically you could argue she cheated a little bit but really she had no real intention of doing anything; it was all Rich being pushy and fingering her suddenly in her intoxicated state. But the rest of them fucked around fully on their spouses.

kissing and fingering is most diffantly cheating jody before even engaged good story but none of them should be married