by Tylenol_PM
...because he forced someone to do something painful that she did not like.
If it had been in Nonconsent/Reluctance, I would not have read it.
Paul in Oklahoma
Your story might have been okay but I did not get past the 3rd para. I presume English is not your first language. The grammar was so bad it was unreadable. Sorry but for your stories you progress you need to fina a good editor. Ken
I uploaded the draft without proof reading it. I went through and try to fix what I could. I am still having problem with the pass and present tense.
I suppose this isn't bad, just giving constructive criticism. Please, please, please have someone else read your stories before you post them. There were so many spelling and grammatical errors in this. There were some issues with the story plot itself, but before all else, fix the errors.
Who reads this in the end needs not one but three Tylenols...1*
The plot idea isn't bad, but all your characters are one dimensional, there is no build up, you don't set the scene, and the sex itself seems...flat.
It needs work but the core of a good story is in there!
There are so many errors in the first two paragraphs that I had to stop reading it. That was terrible.
your spelling sucks, OK story but kind of blah, It could be a good story , with some more experience you will get better