All Comments on 'Cabin Camping Ch. 01'

"Okay I'll start, Once upon a time..." Emma began her story. (This should be Sophie, Emma was in his lap)

Other than that it was a nice beginning to the story. I look forward to seeing where this goes.

Very good story telling. Looking forward to part two.

Need to proofread so you can keep the names straight

Pretty hot. I hope the four of them open up around each other. Open sexual activity, including the siblings. On another note, I think Emma and Sophie’s names were mixed up. Emma started her story, then a few minutes later she was distressed. I think you meant to say Sophie started her story.

I agree with the comment about “ Need to proofread so you can keep the names straight”. You mixed them up a couple of times , once when they were coming out of the house and once when they were telling the scary stories,

good start but some confusion the middle.

looking forward to where you take this in chapter 2

Editing and some help with names would be good.

The plot and characters are fine though, hoping for a really good outcome (read: more) for Emma....

Really well written. Cannot wait for more!!