All Comments on 'Caged Pt. 01'

Nice work. Looking forward to more.

You have a good first start. I suggest stretching out the last part with the doctor checking her out. Like saying the doctor touches her wrist and slowly caresses her arm and working to her shoulder and some comment or feeling from slave then feeling fingers caressing her side then the ass and back up her other side leading to her breasts etc. a good drag out helps a lot with a story. making the sexual tension stronger makes story better. great statt though good luck I am looking forward to reading more.

The time line at the beginning is too unbelievable. Weeks and days mentioned. In a woods? Maybe in an Amazon jungle, but probably not. The capture and treatment stopped short of anything exciting. So I probably wouldn't bother looking for the sequel. Needs to close with something a little more substantial.

I hope you continue! This was good and the more you write the better you were get at drawing out scenes, but keep it up!

I agree it’s lacking in realism, it’s great that it’s an obvious fantasy set in an alternate reality as opposed to aiming for current contemporary and all of the grim associated with human trafficking.

I like Reluctance and BDSM instead of blunt non con so these kind of slavery stories need to be obvious fantasies before I can stomach reading them. That’s not intended as a dig at you just me and my hang ups.

Unless someone is used to drinking water from streams etc trying to survive on it is likely to make you severely ill, collapsed and feverish kind of ill. Rainwater is easier and safer as is water from condensation/ early am mists. Drinking a lot of liquid in captivity as described is also likely to make her vomit too. The running for over a week in random woods is highly unlikely. The slavers will have people trained as trackers but even if she had found a random cave or slept in trees/ thickets the quality and quantity of sleep would still have been enough to have her as exhausted as she was.

The doctor would have done a visual check to make sure she was a virgin as any probing could break the hymen. The hymen itself varies from girl to girl and isn’t always whole naturally anyway, obvs it IS for literary purposes. The kind of non standard clinical prodding would probably be enough to overload her anyway.

Tess (UK)

How can a story like this be realistic if it is afraid to place it in any kind of fictitious setting? She escaped from where? Unknown. And she is told she will be a slave and is surprised? At this rate, if we are to follow the lead of one Anon commenter, there will not be any category such as this for fear of associating stories to the real life headlines.

Enslavement

Depersonalization is essential to enslavement. In this case Willow Ann Jones is allowed to keep her name. If a slave is property who must do her master's bidding should she be allowed to keep her name?