All Comments on 'Caleb Woke Up Ch. 05'

im glad to see our young hero is starting to grow up a bit

great writing mcbacon, i cant wait to see what comes next!

oh and love that final line

...needs more bacon!

+1 for the Tesla coil reference though!

A truly great series so far. I love coruption, incest, and mind control, so excellent work here. I just hope that in later parts Caleb will have more to fight against than his morals, so this can become truly excellent. The set up seems to be there so I'm hopeful.

agaren - Thanks. My writing skills are a little better than in chapter 1.

Chapter 6 is basically, "Mom tucks him in". I think I made a final pass. Should be out in a couple fo days I think. Not sure if it ends up in here or incest.

JohnShade - I agree, you can never have enough bacon.

Garg22 - Thanks for the feedback and advice. You and I are of similar minds. It took me 6 chapters to progress through 18 hours. At this rate, you might see some ninjas by chapter 420.

But really, progression will probably change. I hate it when the plot gets in the way of the sex, so we'll need to see about that. I have decided to let my Schwanz make more of the story choices. But there are definitely some evil pricks out there who are looking for the necklace.

Good story. Keep it up please.

You say Mrs. Anderson's breasts were 'wiggling.' The word you probably should have used is 'jiggling.'

I chose wiggling as a nod to the fact that her breasts are more petite. But it probably doesn't fit as well. Jiggling would probably be a better word for it. Thanks.

Being a novice author, I just realized I have the power to correct my work, and I have a lot I would like to address to make the stories more readable. It looks a little tedious, but I guess I don't mind the tedium. Looks like I need to copy the story, reset the italic and bold markup, and submit with corrections by story page.

Still working through how to pick an editor. I am studying the editors forum. Do they come to me, or do I need to man up and ask them to dance? I started a thread. Looks like I am the wall flower.

Very good series so far. I like the depravity with the pastor's wife in the church. I can't wait to read the chapter where he finally gets Anna. Keep it up, I look forward to reading more.

Good plotline Ch 1 through 5, and I agree w/ others that "hiring" a copy editing VE would be a wise move.

Great story, and I loved the Tesla comment thrown in there. :-)

This is truly a Great Story, well told, with a story line that makes everything seem inevitable, and somehow Right. Looking forward to how Caleb will cope with both his sister and his mom at home, and again with Ming back at the church. By the way, the beautiful Gretchen is a real joy to include in Caleb's education. Thank you again.

I also appreciate your sense of humour. especially the last line.

especially if you're cumming several times a day. Hope Ming and Gretchen both have bacon in stock and plan to include it in their menus whenever the novice comes to visit.Love this very creative, original story, Thanks!!

You will be successful if you use canned pineapple in your Jell-O. But as you said, fresh won't work.