All Comments on 'Campus Visit'

Good start! I can't wait for more.

A few synical comments.

It is cynical, please check me on this to see that I am not picking on you, but trying to better your essay.

Another very strange one is Pris' appendage. In many cases an 's' at the end of a word may become possessive with an apostrophe against the 's' .

I must admit that the sun making it hard was not what I had hoped. My wish was that each might havery morning wood, follow their instincts from their previous night, and the be caught or joined by Lisa.

Oh well.

Your take is more than good AND I believe you can bring this a long way further. For example, there is a double bed available and all three would be attending at the same campus?

Lisa just might feel closer to both girls than already revealed.

So much potential with the ground work you have so wonderfully set out.

Please read aloud to highlight the slight blips and/or locate an editor to ramp up the textual quality; your story quality is great!

What a great start to a story and to a first post. You picked a solid topic and put your own spin on it which works very well. I await your next chapter.

OMG, I need more! What happens next?

Good story, can you do a sequel with Lisa and Pris, or Amanda and Lisa.

Great story you have so much more to write and so many directions you can go keep it UP

I loved this story - really looking forward to more :)

I was surprised they both were but very nice. Definitely look forward to more.