All Comments on 'Can Married Couples Date?'

I find the actual dating game flawed, the field was not even, and some men had more $ than others so Helle gets taken out on a $1,000 first date! I think the "game" would have been more interesting if each date had the same parameters, dinner and dancing or lunch and a walk in the park. Then each date could have been judged on the quality of the company and not the size of his wallet.

Sonny has huge issues with his father, which it seems his wife knew about, ignored, and got him into therapy over it with her version of shock therapy (Forcing him into the situation), And from his POV it doesn't matter if his mother reconciled with his father, HE suffered the trauma and the humiliation of what his father was doing. It's as if he had military-type PTSD and his wife and best friends took him to a war reenactment to set it off. Cruel. The male main characters in these stories always are stubborn and slow to come around to their wife's POV while the Wife shows no compassion and plows through with what she wants to do no matter the damage. A very abusive story style. I feel like the thing you get off on in your writing is the actual suffering and abuse of the male MC and slowly through a torture-like plot, he gets pushed into embracing his tormentors and pain.

Interesting story, though I’m not comfortable with the concept and this probably influenced my rating

What servant111 said. I'm totally with him.

The writing was competent and the story well told, as per usual with CG. But here's the problem. Sonny's objections to his wife's dating plans were never acknowledged as legitimate, by neither his wife nor his friends. He was thrust suddenly into a Kafkaesque world in which he was ignored and belittled by the very people he cared about the most.

When Sonny revealed to his wife his dark secret about his father, he found that wifey had known all along. Worse, wifey had been collaborating with Sonny's mother while he, himself, had been kept in the dark. When Sonny consulted a therapist, he was patronized. He was portrayed as an easily angered man with a limited ability to defend himself. I would say Sonny had been dealt a series of brutal emotional traumas by those closest to him; his wife, mother, and friends.

I saw this bleak story's surreal ending as Sonny's capitulation to a weird new reality he had resisted with all his might but could not overcome.

The story is well written, as always, but I doubt that these dates will have any effect on the existing relationships between the couple.

If you hide your desires and feelings from your partner, and real people do this from time to time from their own partner, then this becomes a problem.

Also the fact because the question arises what men really get out of making their friends' wives happy.

Positively surprised. Well done actually. It went deep into the recesses of how men and women feel and act differently. It was just a tad long, hence 4/5.

Swan Lake is Tchaikovsky. Today, you can't mention everything Russian.

Cagivagurls normal trash

I applaud your willingness to explore unusual situations through your talented story telling. I could see why you chose pieces of the story (e.g., Helle never being on a date) even though they seemed highly unlikely to me. So, for me it was less rewarding than most of your stories…though still pretty good. Why they needed to consult an algae specialist (phycologist) was beyond me, though. 😉

I like the ending but I can see a followup of someone dieing or somehow getting a divorce and now has a close "connection" and is new and exciting. It's like you risked everything to have closer friends but in today's work environment within 5 years someone will move away.

I liked this. And....maybe it should have been longer. (Hah!) As it happens I just finished a story with some serious counseling scenes. (And it's unlikely to get published.) I do not think the dating idea was a good one. Stuff happens, eh? And the longer it went on the more likely it would have been. Finally, although not emphasized here, our hero was a Muslim. He wouldn't have liked the idea anyway, despite his dad. The others didn't seem to get that. D

Engaging story. Well written. 5 just for that.

About the story, I think it's funny these guys didn't have time or didn't put in the effort to date their own wives, but suddenly have the time and money to date another woman. Also, Sonny and Helle had never been on a real date before. Never had a date with anyone at all. So instead of planning for their first real date, she wants her first date to be with someone else? lol

Infuriating! This had me screaming in frustration, “You dolts! Is not a single one of you going to say, “I’ll take my own wife out, thank you, like I should have been doing in the first place?” I know you needed it for the question, but I nearly blew a gasket. It’s a good thing the person who recommended this to me wasn’t in arm’s reach, or earshot. I’ve never given you less than five stars, and the tradition continues.

__

@servant11, the most odious thing about this story is your comment. Your unwashed underbelly is exposed in your usage of terms like “feminism,” used as an insult. You are not a feminist, but you certainly are a misogynist. Your “disagreement” or agreement with the actions and opinions of the characters in the story are irrelevant to anyone but you. As someone else said, the utter craven hypocrisy of a person coming to a porn site, then claiming some moral high ground, your lectures on marriage while reading pornography, makes you a buffoon. That’s some small dick energy you have going on.

The way everyone turned on him made me certain that he was right to not go along with their plans. This story was like someone trying to convince their spouse to swinging by just dipping a toe into the water. But I never coulda went back to being friends with Joe or Phil ever again, they purposely ostracized him at work and turned the office against Sonny. That wasn't part of the argument, getting people involved from work to side against him. That would be an unforgivable act to me.

Of course married couples can date.

If the want to trade up.

Epilogue 6 month later

Sonny came home at the normal time, he didnt think anything of his friends cars in his driveway though he did wonder why they had left work early. He walked in to find his wife on her knees as Marissia was instructing Joe to fuck her face harder.

/

"Dont worry buddy," Joe said haltingly as he thrust his hips back and forth, "We're all learning new things about each other with these new dates."

The obvious question to ask this author is WHY Marriage? In all of your stories your main character are always married. Why is marriage such import a plot point in all of you stories except to push an agenda of sex outside marriage in toxic one-sided relationships while poking the "stick" in the eye of monogamy. It is the 21st century, if Monogamy is such an outdated stifling concept then most certainly so is marriage.

Stay single. Date and have all the sex you want. If you want to move on then do so without having to pay the government to get its permission to do so.

Yes it was a dangerous game and could have ended badly. Sonny's reaction was understandable in the light of his father's behaviour.

When I was married I never looked at another woman, but my wife once went out to dinner with her boss with my permission. At least as far as I know it was just for dinner! I don't recall getting upset by it.

re: Heybuddy65 Are you suggesting censoring? It wasn't your favorite, but yet you think denying other's peoples opinion is the thing to do? Really? You got a problem with your inner self.

Well, this one sure made the readers come out in droves to voice their opinion. Got to love those that think this type of situation is good for a marriage. Must have a little cuckold tendency in their makeup. lol And of course they're always readers that ditz others for having an opinion they don't agree with, it's as if only their opinion is worthy of consideration. Never fails in LW.

As others have said, if they haven't the time to date their own wives how do they find time to date someone else's wife? Makes no sense.

Also, I would hate the fact that my wife is going on a date with another man and telling folks how great and wonderful it was and how in some cases it is the best date ever. Makes me feel like crap even if the one I dated said I was a great date. My wife is my wife and she should only date me. Its not the sex worry. It is now making memories with another man. So now Helle has these awesome memories of dinner, dancing, a concert, and how her "first date" was and yet it is not with her husband.

Remember, she said she NEVER HAD A DATE BEFORE. So her "first date" is now not even with her husband! He had the opportunity to be her first and she gave that away to another man. If my wife said she was doing that we would probably end up divorced as I would lose all trust and respect for her as she showed me disrespect.

So the first date this women ever has in her life is with someone who is not her husband? I mean she has the opportunity to experience her first date and create an awesome memory with someone special, the man she knew since childhood, yet she instead selects someone else? Horrible!

My wife has gone to events with people other than myself. Mostly women, our kids, or even other couples (I don't care for country concerts, I don't downhill ski). I get it. Do something you enjoy and why give it up because your partner does not care for that activity. But his is a date. If my wife says she missed out on the excitement of a date with another man so she now wants to date, no sex, I would agree with Sonny and say no way in hell. You date me or no one and once she said she was doing our marriage would take a bad turn for the worse.

Everyone else is saying what is right or wrong with Cagivagurl's explanation to the reactions of Sonny to Helle's, sudden enthusiasm to the idea of dating amongst the spouses of their friends. So, this is my take.

While the other so-called friends may have been surprised and thought he was overreacting, Helle should have drawn back from her enthusiasm to try and figure out what it was that really was at the root cause of his vitriol. As his wife and the one that knows him best, she should not have fanned the flames. Especially with her knowing the history between Sonny's father and mother and the gulf that existed between Sonny and his dad. Their friends didn't help Helle when they told her he didn't own her and pushed for her to continue with her date with Nolan. Both Nolan and Helle really pushed it to far by not canceling the date when they saw the strain it was causing between Sonny and Helle. That was on those two. I'm surprised it didn't cause even more problems than it did. I probably would have left at least for a short time just to show my frustration.

I can't think of many cases where dating someone other than your spouse is anything other than playing Russian Roulet with a happy marriage. Maybe it's as stupid as Girls Night Out or Boys Night Out, both are really stupid things to do and can end in real damage being done to any marriage.

A story who's central plot point is an antiquated tradition...Men paying for dates with women. Might as well just hire a professional escort and quit hiding behind pretense. We have a much more equal and complex gender dynamic now than ever before and it seems counterintuitive to keep hanging on to this prehistoric dating ritual in a technological age.

Gender shouldn't dictate who covers the bill on a date. It's wonderful to treat each other now and then, but the tradition of men paying for dates has some fairly questionable origins — namely, the fact that most women weren't financially independent, so they literally couldn't pay. Why not enjoy the fact that women can pay for themselves and split the bill?

For an author who likes to "push the envelope" in relationships the author is quite content to holding on to antiquated traditions when it props up or supports women and frees them from personal responsibility and mutual reciprocity in relationships.

I really enjoyed this story. How we grow up, the traumas we face, impact us and our relationships as an adult. As usual, it was very well written. And I rather liked how at the end, everyone sided with Sonny anyway. All the Sturm und Drang was for naught.

Sonny is not wrong! Sonny if absolutely correct in being against this outrageous dating scheme. Consider the exchange between Helle and Nolan from their date night. --

"She was almost ready to call it off when Nolan turned up. She met him at the door, and he escorted her out to the car. As they drove off, NOLAN SAID WITH A WOLF WHISTLE, "DAMN, YOU ARE LOOKING SEXY AS HELL. REAL PRETTY."

She blushed a little, enjoying the compliment. Not for the first time, she gave Nolan an appraising look. Hmmm, very nice. He had dressed casually, but still looked nice. He was about five or six years younger than she was, and he was fit as hell. He did triathlons, so was pretty ripped."

Obviously sex is already on Nolan's mind. Had this dating game continued, how long would it take for the first pair of panties to fall? It wouldn't have to be all the couples, just one would have proved Sonny's fears and concerns to be true. Helle was already looking at Nolan with appreciation, in the way that a wife should only be looking at her husband. This was a fools game and Helle was a big fool for not listening to her husband's concerns, ESPECIALLY in light of the fact she KNEW about his father's cheating on his mother. Helle knew this information and should have been cognizant of the effect the dating scheme was having on Sonny by his sudden change in behavior. How stupid is she? 1☆ this for the pure stupidity of the thought processes among all characters EXCEPT Sonny!

All this author's stories should start out with the admonition "cuckolding" content. I have learned to avoid this author b/c such content is not my cup of tea, but object to authors not labeling their content. So, I will continue to 1 star this author's stories w/o reading them to help other readers in some small way by pulling down the story score.

as usual I skim cg's stories so I can justify a.comment her usual theme ignores that you can't have bacon without killing the pig. She writes shitty stories reasonably well but should stop !ittering lw with her stuff

It was too long but not bad - 4 stars

This was not your best story, IMO. The characters were not believable as collage graduates (they acted and spoke like high school dropouts), what passed for plot moved like molasses, and the dialog was disappointing. Why would anyone want to go to the bother of taking a woman on a date if there was no possibility of sex, at least somewhere down the road? And nothing ever really happened. It would have been more interesting if, instead of having "Sonny" be such an idiot, it turned out that the MC's wife and one of the guys actually did wind up cheating, leading to consequences and divorce, of course. Overall, this was a disappointment.

Well told and interesting story but i also agree with no dating, could be a slippery slope.

Cagivagurl - 10 stars my friend! Great Story and Great Writing! I can tell by all the emotions displayed in the responses! When so many people have such a strong response by a simple story, I'd have to say "Mission Accomplished!" Most stories are read and forgotten, but this will be thought about by many for a long time. This is right up there with "February Sucks" by George Anderson or maybe even "The Bridge" Whoa, Very Powerful. A story that so completely engages so many people's emotions. What is Right and what is so Wrong? Seems innocent enough, but is it Really? Is it really as dangerous as some say? I don't know, I've never considered myself. I don't know how I feel about it. But the story brought it out for discussion. Great Job! Thank You!!!!

A different take, but the counsler is correct - this is playing with fire.

Loving Wives??? WoW! I kept waiting for what NEVER came.

Anyone who has read my stories probably knows I started reading this with some apprehension; however, it soon disappeared. I'm not sure if it was the plot or the writing that sucked me in first but I really enjoyed this. Easily, 5 stars. Great work.

Can a married couple date? Yes, but not without consequences especially when one spouse is opposed. It seems all Sonny's friends plotted against him,male and female. He had every right to be angry. Even Marissa finally concluded that it was a bad idea considering Sonny was not comfortable with the game and "we have to respect that". Too bad his wife could not respect him. The date was not about sex but the friend was suppose to do "all the hard work" and the husband would get all the benefits Strange. Either Cavigirl is opposed to committed relationships or she tries to stir the pot to elicit an outsized response with her dialogue. I'm leaning towards the former. Good story always repetitive. So Dessertman, when you were married, i assume you are no longer, your wife had a dinner date with your boss with your permission. Why? You were not invited? Why? You are no longer married. I guess that's why you were not upset at the time

An enjoyable read to a point. The subject matter on the other hand is out of left field and extremely dangerous and as described playing with fire. No matter how enlightened or progressive you may think society or the modern marriage has progressed, this date thing is a train wreck waiting to happen.

CagivaGurl , you nailed this. What a good idea! And what a clever plot to execute the idea. This is my favorite of your stories, and I liked all of your stories. Well done!

Thanks for writing!

A spouse did something she knew may ruin their marriage…but the husband is the crazy one??? You can’t normalize this type of behaviour simply by having all other characters agree. I would never do something my spouse felt this strongly about and I would never do this to a friend. No loving spouse or friend would. Your reality is fucked up.

Great story but I’m with Sonny. I have wonderful friends both men and women. If by circumstance I was out alone and my friend Betty happened to be there I’d have no problem buying her dinner and talking but never set up a date with someone else wife especially friends. You go out as couples take time to talk to all your friends both men and women. I may have not been mean but I’d have said never as well and he is right if that rotations kept going eventually at the very least one pair would be fucking . It’s human nature and let’s use men as an example. They would be on their best behavior acting perfect and the woman would eat it up as she should. Then eventually the comparison would start in the mind and before you know it they are in a 69 before he tries to fuck his friends wife up her ass. When the is to much opportunity and a chance to feel why don’t my hubby do this or that or how come my wife don’t see this or act like that. It’s just plain asking for trouble. Me I wouldn’t have been all nuts or angry toward my friends, do what you want but my wife would of had a big blow out fight and I’d she pulled I’m going anyway I’d have waited right up to that night and said when you get home after doing something I’m so dead against I’ll be gone and will file for divorce on Monday. You want to play this game now it cost us our family. Also my friend would’ve got punched in his nose just for contributing knowing how against it I was .

No idea of your personal beliefs or life, but I can tell you one thing from an old man who has been married for over 50 years to the same woman and who has not strayed but has been tempted! If you do cross that line, married life will never be the same. So if you love the one your with and do a little window shopping, it could bring a lot of misery into your life and haunt you for life unless you are soulless and destined to look for love like 2 out of 3 married divorced people are! Just saying :)

Great Writing,you did it again, fantastic story of friendship and comrades .Thank you

I'm with Sonny's first reaction.

It's a prelude to a slippery slope.

Not a problem if that's what both spouse's want, but if one wants it and the other doesn't, then the question is why are they continuing in a marriage.

‘Hi honey, let me out of the blue tell you that I have a major resentment against you, and when it comes up, not only am I going to shame you in front of your friends, labeling you as uncaring, but also shoving in your face that MY VERY FIRST DATE will be with someone else and NOT YOU tee hee!’

The author missed this point of major disrespect.

Also points missed:

The dating betting pool essentially ruined their finances. How many families can bear thousand dollar dates even once a month?

Women entered the work force and were suddenly around lots of men.

The infidelity rate skyrocketed.

The divorce rate skyrocketed.

And the ‘if only you were more like Chad...’ rates of marital discontent skyrocketed.

To wit: Helle was happy until she learned envy. Then she wasn’t and angry enough to piss on her husbands opinions. You go girl!

And that last bit f rot ignores the fact that ‘running off with a family friend’ male or female, is a cliche for a reason.

Seems like they recalled what gender was after all.

It took some pretty forced writing to ignore all these missed points. Just make him a raging asshole instead of examination

This was playing with fire. It isn’t impossible to not get burned playing with fire, but the odds are against you.

Sonny, buy that motorcycle

I've found it necessary to add another comment, even though it might piss off another author on this sight, but too bad. I read and reread this story, again. I have also read the myriad of comments, with some of them hitting the mark, that of all the main characters, only Sonny has his head on straight. This scheme has all the makings of eight divorces. The therapist is also correct, saying this game is playing with fire. No shit! I wonder if you have contemplated a second chapter, with any continuing story you choose, on your own.

I would like to see a little more local lingo included into the convo’s. how good is LAB though.

I really enjoyed the writing, thank you!

You pulled me into the characters, I saw both Helle and Sonny’s viewpoints, even before the revelation about Sonny’s father. You did that well!

The structure was good. The story flowed, and it was easy to move from point to point.

I won’t repeat what others have said about plot elements, or who was right or wrong. You gave us a story, and while I have an opinion on how things should have progressed for the characters, what counts is you drew me in enough to for that opinion. Well done.

Be well!

I always enjoy your stories. I look forward to more.

Poor Sonny has been gaslit horribly and abused. If this story had the genders flipped, I doubt it would be as praised by some of the old guard here who love Cagivagurl'a propagandistic approach.

What universe do you live in that everyone, even kids at school would be okay with this? People look for stability, so you are creating a society just like the barbarians used to have. Bad times.

Well-written but wrong-headed wokism. Femdom BS. Once again, anything can be solved by blaming the husband, the man, and ganging upon him until he thinks he must be mad and convincing him to crawl on his hands and knees to apologize for not wanting his wife to date his friends. What will happen next time when his friends decide that it all went so well that they should all try swapping?

This was nothing but out an out feminism. 1*

I liked the story but just having gone through courses in work this would result in a lot of proplems for his so called friends, safeguarding in the workplace would come down on this like a hammer, he wasnt comfortable with it so they told everyone at work who then isolated him in the uk this would be major legal issues if the management didnt stamp all over it, it is without a doubt emointional blackmail to make someone do something they are not comfortable with fine having him go and face it with consouling is good but any real one would say forceing them is wrong

Another man gaslighted by femdom and wokism… Enough.

Wow! Fantastic storey. Such clever writing. I felt so much emotion though this storey, anger at Sonny when he got angry, sadness when it came out about is father, happiness when Sonny and Helle reunited, warm feelings about Sony and Marissa’s date, and so happy that it all worked out in the end.

I cannot understand the people who make negative comments below, I feel sad for them, they are missing the enjoyment of reading a good storey, they must have some sad things in their own lives.

To Cagivagurl please keep writing your wonderfull stories.

Thank you ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️.

This is so wrong... No man would allow his wife to go on a date with another man... I know that I wouldnt.. And if she insist on going, then the only option would be divorce... I dont care what you say, the only date that they are allowed to go on, are with their spouse!

Can married people date?

No.

Why?

Because, it's most improper.

And?

It can lead to emotional attachment.

Is it dangerous, down the line?

You bet.

Is this a good example for the children?

Stupid question. I am not answering that.

No doubt at all that you write extremely well, but except for about a half dozen of your stories I haven’t found them to my liking for the most part.

In long term it is going to create problem for some of them as is human nature long term dating will most certainly create affectinon in some and bound to break marriage

Yikes

I enjoyed the writing, I could see the characters and understand their points. Thank you!

I disagree with how the story went, and the end (so far) results which imply “happily ever after,” but it’s your story and not mine.

Be well!

Let me all share with you a story. A true story.

Husband A and wife A. Friends with husband B and wife B.

Husband A and wife A split up and divorce.

Wife A moves on with life. Settles the divorce. Starts dating. Has a life.

Husband A struggles. Turns to husband B and wife B as friends for support.

The two husbands are former work colleagues and good friends. So husband B invites his sad friend into his home for dinner with kids more than a few times. Takes his friend for drinks and talks. Wife B offers to babysit for husband A's son.

In general husband B and wife B try and help husband A...be supportive. Listen. Offer helpful advice. Be there for their friend. Encourage him to move on with life.

Unbeknownst to husband B his wife starts emailing husband A. Innocently at first. Sharing funny stories. Arranging babysitting. But it soon changes when in his depression husband A starts sending emails to wife B recounting his failed marriage. Details about what went wrong. Talking through and unloading some of his grief and disappointment.

Soon they were secretly sharing intimate details about their relationships. Wife B (like all married couples) admits her own relationship isn't perfect. Starts with little things. Husband A then starts to offer advice back to her. Within 6 months they share an intimacy that is completely inappropriate.

Husband A knows all of the secrets of the married couple that is husband B and Wife B. Favorite sexual positions. How often they do it. What she likes...what gets her off.

But also what annoys her. What things B does that makes her mad. How he works too much. Is messy. And so forth.

Husband A becomes wife B's emotional outlet. And it isn't long before husband A is pointing out even more flaws in husband B in their emails and personal conversations.

Husband A also works a job with a swing shift. 4 pm to 2 am 4 days a week. So he is free during the day.

When summertime rolls around Husband A has a pool...so wife B starts taking the kids to his house on a daily basis. Whilst husband B is at work.

A month into summertime...about a year after the two started to share these intimate email conversations...husband B realizes that his kids do nothing but talk about husband A. He gets home at night. Helps with dinner. Kids talk about swimming with husband A. He plays with kids after dinner. Games. Watches Disney movies. Reads with them. They talk about all the things they did that day with husband A. He helps with baths and puts them to bed. They talk about husband A.

He finally confronts his wife...wife B about her relationship with husband A. She denies it. But proceeds to be very defensive. Begins to attack him for all of his faults.

A few weeks later husband B happens to accidentally stumble onto wife B's secret email account on their home PC. It's while she isn't home.

He finds hundreds of emails from over the past year.

He prints them all.

He confronts his "friend" husband A. Who cannot deny the relationship. Angry words follow. Threats. Friendship is replaced with hatred.

Husband B confronts wife B.

She had been denying the relationship was innappropriate for weeks. Telling her husband he was literally crazy. Gas lighting him. Telling him that he might need some therapy. That she had no relationship with husband A.

She lies to his face again. Denies that she has done anything in appropriate. Husband B then presented her with the box of the emails he had printed out.

Wife B's response? She was incensed that husband B had invaded her privacy. Not sorry at all.

It led to a huge argument. She did not love him any more. He wasn't half the man or friend that husband A was. She had an "unbreakable bond" with husband A now. They were soulmates.

It ended in divorce. Of course.

And surprise surprise...after the break up when faced with having to actually live with wife B and her 3 kids on an everyday basis? Husband A couldn't cope for even 60 days.

3 months after the split wife B was divorced from husband B and had lost her "soulmate" in husband A. He had moved out...couldn't handle living with her 24/7.

It's a true story. It happened to me. I was husband B.

It's why this entire story...premise is absolutely nonsense. "There's no sex. It's all just friendship. It's harmless to go on dates with people other than your spouse. It's just fun." Sharing repeated intimacy with someone will form bonds. And if you are married? They are inappropriate. Like playing with fire. My story about husband A and wife B I hardly a one off. It happens every single day. And it's why western society suffers from a 55 to 60 percent divorce statistic.

Regular one on one dating with people other than your spouse is STUPID. It WILL break up marriages. Sharing amazing experiences like concerts. Sporting events. Dancing. Etc. Will form intimate bonds with others. And it will be outside of your shared spousal experience. It's wrong. And it will lead to divorce.

Married men and women cannot have really close relationships and friendships with other people of the opposite sex outside of their marriage without it affecting the dynamic of the marriage.

There are those few...and I repeat few...who can handle open marriages. But we all know that's less than 1 percent of the population.

Even in the swinger community which represents this 1 percent...the divorce rate is way over 95 percent after 2 years in the lifestyle.

Call it what you want but normal human emotions...jealousies, society pressure, our natural need for intimacy and trust in another person. It just gets in the way of forming really really strong bonds with a person outside of the marriage. It will fuck up a marriage.

And I don't care what you say...I'm not going to be "best mates" with any dude who takes my wife out on dates.

And the entire storyline of Sonny getting ostracized by people at work for objecting to the whole wife swap thing?

Really? It's absurd. Imagine a group of 25 guys at work. Lunchtime a bunch of them walk up to Sonny sitting alone.

"Hey Sonny. How come you don't talk to Pete and John anymore? You used to be mates."

"Fuck those assholes. They want me to agree to some kind of wife swap dating thing with my wife and I joining in the group. When I told them all to fuck off with that idea they got pissed at me. Wanker assholes can get bent."

"No way?! Really? And they think you are the bad guy in this? What a couple of wierdo dicks. I better keep them away from my wife."

Then who gets ostracized at work with the rest of the 25 guys? Not Sonny.

God it's like this author has zero fucking clue how people live in real life?

another atypical story from this writer who demeans the protagonist...this guy has old fashioned values and rightfully resents not just friend but any guy spending a bunch of time with his wife in a dating environment. As usual with 'gurl', when the 'pro' expresses his displeasure with their supposedly no sex date swap scheme, HE is rediculed and ostracized by all involved and others who by association learned of the very odd proposal. Where is the redress of his wife not respecting her husbands wishes?

She just gets to do what she wants regardless of his opinion? I don't think so! If the issue was reversed I seriously doubt she would be as understanding of his request for a seemingly innocent date...

More cuckold bullshit.

Another home run Cagivagurl. I love your character development and the way you layered the issues. You had room to run this any number of ways, but I really liked the demonstration of how traumas from out pasts can bubble up even though we think we have left them in our past. I also really appreciated the moral at the end of the story that hanging out with friends is not necessarily the same as talking with them and getting to really know them. This is a valuable lesson particularly in the time of smart phones!

“It’s great when a plan comes together.”

The last page gets right to the heart of their concerns. Better communications and focused discussions might help them all get to know each other better.

Thanks for another 5 star story.

I get that it's necessary to drive the story, and it resolves nicely, but if one person showed that level of anger and discomfort at the very idea, then no way would the dates actually happen if his wife and friends had any regard for him at all.

Sweet story, though. Just trying to be constructive with criticism.

I think the fictions Cagivagurl advanced are well crafted, but inaccurate. People just aren't wired this way. At least not normally. Dating, for example, is not really between "friends". It's a form of potential seduction between potential mates. Two friends can share a good time out across gender boundaries sometimes, but there is usually a reason why in chaperoned settings: with a companion, companions (peer groups), etc. It keeps it appropriate in both expectations and outcomes. When those boundaries are crossed, especially with spouses, it's entirely inappropriate and most spouses would say so. I would. That said, the function of seducing a mate shouldn't end just because you have chosen and married. That part of the marriage is about a partnership that 'has your back'- duties, children, etc.. But dating in this sense is about maintenance for the partner- love and respect. Dating someone else is thus highly inappropriate because it takes from that partnership maintenance. If you do it, it should be with the right person. Mine has been 31 years of marriage, and when not being attentive, my wife tells me so. And I listen gratefully.

Dating other husbands was the start of an emotional affair. Why would Helle want to date other guys? To compare to the only guy she’s ever been with. And how’s that coming to work? Her date with Nolan will forever be her “best date ever”. Jus throw is Sonny supposed to compete with that and more than the best fuck of her life? Just want to date others showed she was dissatisfied with her life with Sonny, the she felt something was missing. When she was so eager to date an other man, to “try it on for size”, that would have ended the marriage then and their.

I get the morale and what we were going with but fuck....really. Nolan ramped it up just to spite the MC. They all knew why he was off of any of the other guys were his friends they would of said nope I am not comfortable either. They don't rub it in between guys there is only one thing off limits...your wife. Plus even though they knew something was wrong they still pushed pretty week friends. Then jeopardizing his lively good over this dumb shit. What this really was is a bunch of middle aged women looking for attention. I know someone will say she isn't property blah blah it's not property it's having enough respect not to inflict pain on your spouse. Especially since she knew his history she comes off as a spiteful petty woman. Well written just so unrealistic its insulting that your wife or friends would do that to you. It would of been better if pages 2-5 were gone and they would of came to those conclusions without torturing the MC.

If you are married you do not go on dates with other men even if no sex is intended it is dangerous dates mean drinking which screws judgement and thiught you wind up doing things you would never do sober not worth danger to marriage

So helle knew father in law was a cheat but didn't understand her on husband, Noland said the show was sold out months in advance but had tickets, sounded like a set up to me

At the end of the day, the readers decide if they believe the story.

Omg fkin BS I can't believe I wasted my time, croak of S

The one commenter who observed dating is a form of seduction had it right. It's about learning how to attract and find a mate which is a very important social function. But once that happens, other factors enter in too and "dating" outside the marriage becomes highly inappropriate. The point of the story that dating keeps a couple on its toes is a good one, but doesn't happen in a competitive context outside the couple. A couple has each other's back, and the couples have each other couples backs too. Not see which mate got a better deal out of it. Those couples friendships are genderless in that a trusted friend tells one they are screwing up with their spouse. Not seduce their friends partner. Otherwise you just get an unstable polyamory and families sufeer. A wife in a close couple told me over a bottle of wine that I was messing up my marriage when I was a young callow husband many years ago and proved a best friend . Helped save a young marriage which has gone decades since and lovingly.

Amazing story. Thr author is so talented in weaving a tapestry of epic conflict and emotions. All on her stories are involved and in amazing technicolor. What depth. Definitely looking forward to further adventures and character portraits.. not just stereotyped cheating and BTB!

Well done and appreciated.

Married people cannot have really close relationships … with other people … outside of their marriage without it affecting the dynamic of the marriage. Whether that is positive or negative depends on the nature of the relationship. Dating others would be negative… Helle you are the only woman I wanted to date or be with but since you want to date other men we have irreconcilable difference. I’ll file for divorce tomorrow. …

Magnificent story 5***** but a very dangerous game. The two characters who saved this mess were well placed by the author but in real life I suspect they wouldn't have been so carefully located nor willing to contribute such sage advice. Great story though, Thank You.

Have to say, this is my favorite story by this author. I agree that such a game could be dangerous, though not from a sexual aspect just the ego and one upmanship that can take place.

I'd like to imagine that after the group stops the dating game that they just meet up for coffee with one another from time to time.

This was an altogether heartwarming tale if a little idealised. I love that true friends are quick to forgive when an apology is offered in an open honnest manner.

For the many incels that love this website please be aware it is entirely possible for men and women to form friendships. My closest friends in the world are women. Because ultimately while there are differences women are also humans with wants and needs

This story was a lot like the jealous husband story. The main male character is turned into a jerk because of his feelings of loosing his wife. In reality how man men/women would actually let their mate go on a date with friends. I'll be honest - I have friends that I would never trust on a date with my wife. Then there's the second side in this story - all of them telling her to go ahead and do it - defying him - and the way the author wrote him as a jerk he didn't handle it well. Sorry - this author hates men - he/she always has the man kissing the wifes ass by the end of the story. 1*

Very good story. But although I would not object to my wife going to dinner with another man if she had a reason a date no way! However that’s me and I’m not in the story.

The story was very good. The comments I've read reveal more about them than about the story. Yes, I've experienced something much like what happened here, and yes, it can cause problems. The spouse has to trust; it's that simple. In our case, we all came much closer as a group, and the results were very much a blessing to us all. In fact, we coined the term "Usin's" to describe ourselves.

I disagreed with the dating part. Sooner or later, it would lead to sex.

I believe that dating someone else is taking a big gamble. What happens when there's a robbery and the two daters are held captive. They develop feelings or not. The spouses become suspicious and jealous. The comparisons are made, unfavorably, but not voiced.

If you NEED to date others, don't be married. The dates are all missed opportunities to continue building on the marriage, which should be the first priority.

Sermon over.

Good lord that was terrible. There was NO indication that Sonny had ever said "absolutely NOT" to the asshole wife before. The one time he does, she keeps pushing. As do his so-called friends. Not a good wife, or a good partner. And definitely not good friends -- they'd know when to stop pushing. No, this was all about what THEY wanted, not the basis of a good friendship or a good marriage.

A REAL relationship is about compromise. If there is ONE thing that really upsets your partner, refraining from doing it is not letting them "own" you. That's man-hating (in this case) bullshit. There was nothing pathological in Sonny's distaste for the idea, and it was after his so-called partner and his so-called friends kept pushing him, and accusing him, that he started getting more pissed. As would any real person in his position.

There is an expression "live and let live" that many people CLAIM to live by. I bet the asshole wife in this story would CLAIM to live be it. But the one time her pet (not someone she actually considered an equal) objected vociferously, she kept pushing. What a childish ass.

I've been married almost 40 years. I don't own my husband, and he doesn't own me. But if something I want to do is considered gravely disrespectful to him, I won't do it. And vice versa. We each bend over "the big stuff" and for Sonny this was "big stuff."

I've done non-romantic things with other guys across the years, with the full consent and knowledge of my husband. He doesn't like musicals, and one of our long-time male friends does. Our firend and I have done a number of them together, being careful to go Dutch. He picks me up in time to get to the box office, and returns me home promptly after the show ends. But we NEVER CALLED IT A "DATE." Oh, and we're both married -- to people who are not particularly interested in musicals -- so it works out well.

She is an entitled piece of shit and he should have called a lawyer the next day. Counseling was really stupid.

Another absurd sermonette by a mentally ill cis man.

Sonny was an ass, but had some deep seated issues he needed to work out. The whole concept though, was good

True friendship is genderless? I disagree. People of opposite gender can be friends, certainly. But the different genders can actually make friendships more interesting or even valuable. I had a close female faculty research partner for many years at a university, and we were always mutually supportive, including respecting and befriending spouses. Her husband became my best friend. It all depends on context. Marriage itself is a type of evolved companionship at its best. But when it involves couples, there are rules to avoid complications, and those in this story almost fell afoul. Of course, they are not written in stone, and old couples friends can see each other individually without sexual connotation. But inappropriate context, like drinking or other intoxicating activities can introduce impaired judgement, which smart friends avoid. Also, biological/biochemical attraction can strike in the right context and produce wrongful results when judgement is impaired. I could write a story about two faculty marriages that blew up over marijuana brownies. It's why you don't go to a 'happy hour' at the bar or couple with your friend's wife, except with colleagues to chaperone. Good couples friendships know this and avoid those situations. It's why they do things AS couples.

No Sonny was not an ass. His wife and friends were. Married people do not go on dates with others. It leads to nothing good. Only cucks and would be cucks think it's okay. The disrespect the wife and friends showed him, spoke volumes. Yes, he may have gotten a little overboard, but when his wife went on a date knowing his feelings, that spoke volumes about her. I'm not sure I would be too comfortable living with a wife like that.

Why is this story on Lit ?

I found the story to be repetitive and boring. More importantly, I though the premise was false. There is always some opportunity for husband and wife to go out on a date regardless of how difficult are the circumstances. You get a babysitter and go out -- people do that all the time. If you have the time to play golf or go to a group dinner, you have time for a date.

Friggin outstanding. Finally somebody has told the story that men and women can be the best of friends and sex never comes into play.

Very Respectfully,

Dave

The whole idea is ridiculous, got no time to date your partner but time to date friends, a recipe for disaster⭐️

Absolutely outstanding story. Great plot. Really good characters. What an original idea and really well written. Thoroughly enjoyable read. One of the best submissions on this site. Wish I could score higher than a 5 BardnotBard

In the story things worked out fine. That most likely would not happen in real life. The risk of losing one's spouse would be too great.

Brilliant, incisive, and thought provoking.

But, it’s playing with fire. Eight adults mixing up with each other can be dangerous.

The following lines are interesting:

“Taking another man's wife out somewhere. It just seems wrong."

"That's because you're stuck in the dark ages.”

This is something that’s debatable.

I do agree it turned out fun and amazing but irl this does not bode well

Note as well his wife should have sat out with him , he made his choice and his wife should have respected it

Statistic related to this kind of stuff between couples tell a much different story ending than you do.