Can Married Couples Date?

A big thank you to Randi for editing skill and generousity.

There's no sex in this story, if that's your thing, then I suggest you pass on this one.

*****

"You know what I miss most from my younger years, is dating," Marissa said.

Leanne laughed lightly. "Oh my god. I've forgotten what it's like to go on a date. I keep hounding Clive, but he just ignores me."

"Bullshit, oh yeah, I call bullshit on that," Clive stated loudly. "We go out all the time."

She sighed deeply. "Yeah, we go out, but not on dates. We come to these parties, we go to work functions, but we never go out as in a date."

Renee gave her a hug. "You're not alone, Leanne. I can't remember the last time we went out as a couple."

Jade chimed in with her take. "You guys are lucky. The only time we get out of the house together, is here with you guys. If it wasn't for our girls nights and these parties, we would have no social life at all."

"Same for us," Helle added.

"Jeez, you'd think we were the worst husbands in the world," Nolan, Jade's husband, jeered. "We all have kids, we all work. Life doesn't always allow for romance."

"That's what I'm saying," Marissa said. "I wasn't blaming anyone, but after fifteen years of marriage, I miss the joys of going on a date."

"Honey, it's difficult at the moment," Joe, her husband, grumbled.

"I know that." She sighed. "I'm just saying. When we were young we went on dates, had those experiences, the novelty. Now after all these years, we don't even go out."

"At least you had dates," Helle said. "Sonny and I went from playing in the playground as best mates to being husband and wife. I've never even had a date."

"Oh my god," Leanne gasped. "You have to be kidding, never been on a date? That's criminal."

Everybody laughed. Yeah, it was true, Sonny thought. Helle and he had grown up together. They had always been mates, loved the same things. She was mad about sports, played representative hockey, played squash.

They went from best mates to lovers when they went to Otago for University. Their parents never questioned when they said they were going to be flat mates. Flat mates, yeah, they shared more than the flat, they shared a bed.

After Uni, they came clean to their parents and were married soon after. Helle wanted kids, and it didn't take long to start their family. What she said wasn't untrue. They never really went on dates. They went out together, but usually with other mates. Especially when they were both still playing competitive sport.

Once married, the kids came straight away and then their world exploded with all the things family require. Dating, neither of them had ever been with anyone else.

Sonny thought quickly, he had never even kissed another woman. Helle was the same. Considering it, Sonny thought, I never really saw it as any sort of deprivation, and up until that moment, didn't realise Helle harboured some sense of disappointment or disillusionment.

Renee added her thoughts. "I have to say. We're so busy with the kids. We never go out either. God, when was the last time we went out anywhere other than these get together, Phil?"

He shrugged. "Pass, I can't remember."

"Yeah, it was a long time ago." Renee sighed. "I used to love dating, especially first dates. I loved the unknown, what he would be like, would we have anything in common, would he be funny. When I think about it, I do miss that."

"I'm with you," Jade said with a giggle. "I used to enjoy getting taken out to nice restaurants, and interesting places. Even when Nolan and I do go out, we always end up going to the same places, talking about the same things. It's nice, but not the same as the mystery of the first date."

It was Joe who said rather cynically. "Bloody hell, sounds like you lot want to go back to being single." He glanced around the group as we all balanced plates and glasses. "Whatya reckon, fellas? Should we we give them what they want, divorce?"

"Oh, don't be an arse. We're just saying you blokes could do a little better on the romance side of things," Marissa threw back in a quick rebuttal.

"Jeez yeah," Jade added her support. "Although, it would be nice to go out on a first date again. I mean, come on. Even when we do go out, we end up talking about the same old things, the kids, the house, renovations, getting the car fixed, money. It's the same old same old. It would be nice to have a little mystery."

Helle got up and started collecting the plates and cutlery. "I would love a little romance." She sighed as she walked into the kitchen, the girls hot on her heels to help out.

Joe rolled his eyes back, sighing, "Bloody hell. What a crock of shit. As if we have time for that after work and trying to keep shit together."

One of the girls called out loudly. "We can hear you, dick head."

We all laughed. "Nosy bitch," Nolan yelled loudly.

The girls walked back in with the dessert, and we finally managed to move off the subject. We had planned to take a Christmas holiday as a group, and we were going over where we would go. Helle's folks had a place up in the Marlborough Sounds. It was only accessible by boat, and it sounded idyllic. It was the top pick so far. It would be a bit of fun, mostly camping, but the site was spectacular.

It was on the drive home that Helle and Sonny's night got a bit sticky.

"Why didn't you say something to me, before throwing it into that bunch?" Sonny asked.

Helle, feeling a little guilty, mumbled, "I'm sorry if you felt targetted or offended. I guess I hadn't really thought about it until Marissa brought it up."

"Bullshit, you jumped right into that discussion. You can't tell me you hadn't been thinking about it," Sonny grumbled.

"Yes, sorry. You're right, I guess I've been feeling that we don't do much together anymore. I know it's as much my fault. We are both busy. I didn't mean it as an insult. Wouldn't it be nice if we could do some things just for us, just you and me."

"Then why didn't you say that? Why go on about never having a date?"

"Because that's the truth. We never went on dates. We hung around together and fell in love. I guess I do regret the fact I never went on a date. I'm not talking about sex, either. I'm just talking about going to dinner, or a movie."

"But we did heaps of that when we were younger."

"No we didn't," she snapped bitingly. "We went to movies with all our other friends on Saturday nights. We went down the burger place or the pizza joint, but it was always as part of a group." She looked at Sonny with a pensive grimace. "We, as in you and I, never did go anywhere by ourselves."

She tried to soften her words. She realised they sounded a bit confrontational. "I'm not complaining, Sonny. I loved those days. I wouldn't give them up for anything. I love you and our family. I guess I wonder what it would be like to be picked up by somebody and taken to a posh restaurant, not knowing what we will talk about. Not knowing whether I even like them."

"Not complaining." Sonny sighed angrily. "Doesn't bloody sound like it..."

She sighed again, wistfully this time. "I know, I shouldn't have said anything. I'm sorry."

They finished the trip in silence. Theirs had been a wonderful marriage filled with lots of beautiful memories. When they moved to Christchurch from Nelson for work, they knew nobody. It took a long time for them to make the group of friends to which they now belonged.

As always, it was a combination of work colleagues, who had other friends. Slowly but surely, they slipped into the group, and now they were tighter than ever.

That night, Sonny had a restless night. That evening was the first time he had ever seen anything other than positive emotions from Helle. It left him unsettled.

Helle didn't sleep well either. For her it was different. She saw the hurt her words had caused and that made her feel like shit. Still, she couldn't shake the feeling. Tonight was the first time she had voiced them, but she had been feeling unsettled. It was part of conversations she and the girls had been having over the last few months.

All the girls felt the same way, and it had recently become a regular part of their conversations. They all thought their men were not holding up their ends of the marriage bargain.

The next morning, Sonny packed his golf clubs in the car and drove off to the guys usual golf game. Okay, it was less about golf, and more about the number of beers they drank on their way around the course. They were far from serious golfers. The day was more about the social element. They laughed and told jokes, made fun of each others game.

This time was no different, although the events of the previous night were top of the hit list.

"What the fuck was all that bout?" Sonny complained.

"Yeah, bloody hell. I mean we have to work, mow lawns, do gardens, repairs on the house, repairs on the frigging cars. On top of that, we're expected to be all sentimental and mushy," Nolan said, loaded with frustration.

"I get it." Phil sighed. "I know what they were getting at. But shit, they had it in for all of us. That was a bit much."

"You get it?" Joe snorted derisively. "Fuck me, bro, are you on the rags or something?"

"Fuck you, Phil. I'm just saying we could all do better. It's their fault as much as it is ours. I get home from work absolutely shagged. What do I find when I get home... My wife in old track pants and a sloppy T- shirt. Then she complains when I don't get romantic."

"Yeah, same at my place," Clive agreed. "I'd probably be a little more receptive if she tried a little harder. The old I've got a headache wears thin after a while."

"Fuck em," Nolan sneered. "Maybe we should let em have their fucking dates, so long as we get the same opportunities. There's a couple of hot chicks at work I'd love to get me hands on."

"You dirty bastard." Phil laughed. "There's no way you'd survive that. Your balls would be hanging on the fucking gatepost for all to see."

We all laughed at that, Nolan especially. "Hey, I can dream you know. Fuck, it's about all I get these days."

It all made Sonny a little uneasy. Helle, by comparison, was a sexy and vibrant woman. They still made love four nights a week, and she never turned him down. Okay, maybe it could be a little wilder, but he had no complaints.

The boys ragged on about their wives for the rest of the round.

If they had heard the conversation their partners were having they might have been surprised. At that moment, as they always did on days the boys played golf, they congregated at a small local wine bar and enjoyed a light lunch and a few wines.

"Helle, I still find it hard to believe you've never actually had a date."

"It just happened that way. We went from kindergarten, to marriage. I love Sonny, but honestly, I would have loved to go on a date. I'll keep hinting, and maybe he'll figure it out."

"After last night, I remembered some of my first dates. They were pretty awful. Just boys wanting to get in my pants. Dirty buggers," Leanne said laughingly. "It was all fumbling hands and spurting dicks. I tell you, girl. You're not missing much."

"I'm not interested in the sex. I would just like to experience being taken out to a nice restaurant, some dancing, conversation. I don't want sex, just a fun night out, some romance would be nice," Helle replied.

"God, I'd love it as well," Renee added.

"When, Joe and I go out. I mean he's not a complete arse. We do go on dates. It's just that when we do, we talk about the same things we always do. We're so familiar with each other, there's no secrets, nothing to talk about. Sometimes, I think if we didn't have the kids we'd have nothing to say to each other."

"Yes, you are so right," Jade said pensively. "That's what gets me as well. It seems like we've been together forever. We know absolutely everything about each other. What we like, what we don't. There's nothing new, nothing fresh. God, even coming to our little parties. I look forward to talking to the guys. It's nice to talk about something different."

"Yeah, it's not like we're asking for the world here. Just a chance to get glammed up. I have a wardrobe full of beautiful clothes I never get a chance to wear," Leanne sulked.

"Yeah, damn it would be nice. Some dancing. I've danced more with you guys than I have with my husband. How bad is that."

They all giggled, clinked glasses and laughed.

It was Marissa whose mind ticked over. She was in the middle of something, a thought that wouldn't go away. It was a little twisted, consequently, she held onto it. She needed time to get the words right; she certainly didn't want to offend anyone. It made her titter as she thought of it. What the hell would Joe say?"

That dinner party had certainly got all their minds whirring away. Sonny was mostly worried about Helle's statement about wanting to experience a date. It worried him because it came out of nowhere. He had always prided himself on being a good husband. He worked hard, he never turned down overtime. He never shirked his duties around the house. Took the kids to their sporting fixtures, to plays and recitals. Now he felt like he was losing the battle.

Okay, he might not be one of those guys, what did thy call them? Snags... He would happily take, Helle on dates, but right now, it felt like if he did it would be because he was shamed into it. Bugger it, if that's what she had wanted, all she had to do was ask.

*****

The next dinner party was at Leanne and Clive's. It started as it always did, with lots of laughter and bubbly conversation. The girls all congregated in the kitchen and dining room as they prepared the sumptuous dinner.

It was always a great feast, with each of them bringing a pot or plate of something wonderful. The guys grouped together. The Crusaders had just announced their team for the up coming season, and as it always did, it created a lot of controversy: who was in, who was out.

They were all friends and all Crusaders supporters, but they had their favourite players, so the conversation was boisterous.

At the table, the conversation turned more towards family, work, and of course, the Christmas holiday. The girls had fun making cocktails and inventing new drinks. dessert came and went and the drinks flowed. The music started just after and they all moved into the lounge. The girls danced and the guys talked golf. It wasn't until Leanne brought out the snacks and they all sat in a group, that Marissa decided to launch her idea.

"Okay guys, you know at the last party we started talking about dates? I have a suggestion I'd like to run past you."

There were a few scrunched up faces and confused looks. Joe said, sighing, "Here we go."

Marissa gave him a dagger glare before saying, "Just hear me out before you shoot me down."

There was a communal head nod as they all waited for her revelation.

"Okay, here goes. We, and by that I mean us girls, expressed a desire to date. When I thought about it, the answer was staring me in the face. We have everything we need, right here in front of us. We all have wonderful partners, and we all enjoy each others company. My suggestion is, we date each others husbands."

The room fell eerily silent as her words sank in. She saw the consternation on everyone's faces, and she realised she hadn't explained it properly.

"I'm not talking about sex here. This isn't some kinky wife swap scenario. I'm talking about dating only. We would all get to experience dating again. It would be fresh and new. Each date would be like a first date."

Again, silence descended, the only noise was the sound system softly playing in the background.

"Hang on a minute," Jade rasped. "You mean we take turns dating each others partners?"

"Exactly," Marissa gushed. "Each week or so, each husband takes us out on a date. They choose the location, and they pay for everything. We get treated like queens, and we bring a little bit of excitement into our marriages."

"Holy crap, girl. Where did that come from?" Renee said with a sneaky laugh. "You never said anything."

"No, I have been thinking about it since the last party. Several of you mentioned you missed the excitement of going on dates. Poor Helle has never even been on a date. We're all friends here. We have nothing to fear. It would just be a little harmless innocent fun."

Clive gave a hearty laugh. "We get to take each of you lovely ladies on a date, is that right?"

"Yes, that's it in a nutshell."

He nodded his head. "I can see how it could work. No sex though, right? This is just a date?"

"Absolutely no sex, no kissing, no hand holding. Just two friends going out for a night on the town." Marissa replied.

"What's in it for us?" Nolan said quickly.

Marissa scowled. "What's in it for you... Good lord, think about it. Your wife comes home from a wonderful date, she is excited. You yourself have had an evening of conversation, dancing, a few drinks. Everybody wins."

Phil laughed loudly. "Yeah, I'm in. I think it could be heaps of fun. We're all friends here, but in truth, I haven't really talked one on one with any of you girls. I think it would be a great opportunity to get to know you better."

"Yeah, count me in," Joe added. "If it stops Marissa going on about no romance, then it'll be worth it. Although you boys are going to struggle. After your wives have had a little bit of me, they're not going to want to go back to you losers."

Clive gave him a sharp nudge. "Piss off, we all know about you mate. Mr. five minute wonder."

There was a fair bit of laughter as that sank in.

"I might only last five minutes, but it's five minutes they'll never forget," Joe threw back tauntingly.

Jade squealed. "Stop it, that's awful. I think it sounds fab. I'd love to be taken on a nice date."

Leanne, who had been a little quiet, said, "Yes, I'm in, too. I think it would be nice for us all to get a chance to talk one on one, you know. Get to know what lurks beneath. Yeah, I think I'd be cool."

Sonny watched, totally shell shocked. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Then Helle chimed in happily. "Oh, heck yeah. That sounds sweet. I like the idea of getting to know you guys better."

Helle loved the idea. It had never occurred to her, but Marissa's idea sounded choice. She realised Sonny hadn't said anything. Lifting her eyes to catch his, she was shocked to see his stunned expression.

Trying to bring him into the conversation, she asked, "What do you think, Sonny?"

Sonny glared angrily at her. "What do I think? I can't believe I'm actually hearing this shit. What a ridiculous idea. There's no way we're getting involved." Turning his eyes to Marissa, he snarled viciously. "You've been watching to much reality TV. Count us out. You can do what you want, but we're out."

There were a few hushed gasps, but it was Helle's silence that said the most. This was the first time in their marriage that Sonny had decided to speak for her, and she didn't like it.

Joe, who had been slightly taken aback by Sonny's curt, almost rude retort, decided to call him out. "Sonny, I think you owe Marissa an apology. That was bloody rude, mate."

"Piss off," Sonny sneered. "What the hell did you think I was going to say? She puts together this ridiculous plan to send my wife out on a date with you lot. Fuck that. I stand by what I said." He turned his glare back to Marissa. "You watch all those ridiculous shows, like Married at First Sight, and that disgusting Wife Swap shit. Yeah, you love that shit. Well you can do it without us."

"I'm sorry guys," Helle blurted out in an attempt to reduce the tension. "We can talk about it later. I think Sonny has had too much to drink."

Shocked at her making a ridiculous comment about drinking too much, he started again, and this time he didn't hold anything back. "Like bloody hell," he proclaimed loudly. "I'm speaking my mind. The rest of you might have fallen into this stupid insane plot, but I'm not having a bar of it. If I take somebody on a date, it will be my wife. You idiots should be doing the same."