All Comments on 'Car Repair Shop Adventure 2.0'

I think you might increase your reader numbers if you use the Tags. I didn’t get beyond the first page because I don’t like blackmail stories, they just annoy me. If this was intended as a more realistic version then it’s probably just as well that I haven’t read the earlier version. The concept involves the father of her schoolyard ex boyfriend pressuring her for sex because he was told she cheated on her current fiancé. He’s held a grudge for 10 years because a little girl dumped his little boy when they were at school?? I’m sorry but it’s beyond ridiculous. As for the larger blackmail plot why wouldn’t she just tell her fiancé that her and her roommate had an argument and now she’s spreading horrible lies.

The Tags have a dual purpose, to act as a Trigger Warning and to give a synopsis of your story to entice readers.

So page one alone could have had the following tags;

* cheating * fiancé * masturbation * non con * blackmail

From the it leads to: * group sex and whatever specific sex acts were involved.

Best of luck with your writing.

Tess (UK)

Thanks for your feedback, Tess. You made some good points there.

These are amazing stories. The illustrations are fantastic. If I may make a request, would you please rewrite the stories and insert the illustrations in the appropriate places? I'd love to read more from you.

Liking your suggestion.

I’m editing this story for a version 3.0, and I’ve got some ideas regarding the use of illustrations.

REDUNDANT 101 - YOU REPEATED TOO MUCH TOO MANY TIME AND RUINED WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN A VERY GOOD STORY...LEARN HOW TO EDIT AND CONTINUE WITHOUT COPY AND PASTE...

I read the whole thing and must echo Anonymous (REDUNDANT 101). BUT I did read it so it must have some redeeming factors. Perhaps that is also why I gave it a fiver. I enjoyed it.

Thanks Dave, and everyone else, for taking time to give feedback. I’m open to making changes and trying to improve as I go. Maybe I’ll reread more before posting in the future.

I don’t think I’m a skilled novelist. It’s more of an interest in the subject matter, and my attempt to make it sexy and entertaining, that is behind the writing.

I may have more talent as an artist, but the writing can be enjoyable as well. Glad you liked it.