by grgor
In real life she would get caught and divorced, she is a hateful woman
Story line was just that of another slut that wants to keep her meal ticket. Jeff will catch her sooner or later.
The story line is hard to follow. If that was by design I'd recommend you reconsider and make things flow a little more. It took a while to figure out who Carole is and that disrupted my following the story. Consider using cum or climax rather than orgasm. All the Brits seem to use that term and it's a dead word.
The characters were not even present in the story which was nicely put together to permit the last line which is the lesson for the day!
To me the stoty reads more like an exercise in writing a modern version of the old morality tales genre, created for its 'educational values' rather than a true story with a feel of true characters and development of belivable plot. Its short skeletal structure fits the typical moralty tale -if you like thinly veiled moralizing speeches this story is for you.
I can't help thinking that perhaps confession is good for the soul? Anyway I understand why you wrote the story. I can even agree sometimes we write stories with people in them that we dislike intensly but we still write and post the story. As for some of the comments well trust me on this by now you should have a tough skin. I personally haven't if some one writes a stupid comment I take it personally, but I wonder why they never give a valid reason for not likeing a story. Even if in my case it's normally on moral grounds. Anyway my score is only for the content. And for the fact the wife gets away with what she is doing. Perhaps you should write a sequel where the wife doe get caught and the husband leaves the wife and gets togther with Carol.
Anyway carry on writing if you enjoy writing carry on for youself.
I agree with most of the comments posted.
Not with the really dumb abusive ones, not with all of the really dumb abusive ones, but with most comments.
I did have a story here, but my problem was my main character. She was very cold and emotionally removed. I should probably have filled it out more, but i got tired of her company.
Perhaps i should have dumped the whole thing. But i liked the pro-small-dick thing. Perhaps i shouldn't have made her a lawyer. If she'd been an artist or musician she might have been selfish and dishonest but less coldly so on purpose. Too late now.
If Jeff found out, at 6'5" he may well have been dangerous.
And Carol was indeed the boyfriend's wife. I thought that that was clear. I won't quit my day job.
The only thing missing was little Larry needed to fuck her in the ass, his smaller cock would give her something to feel what it's like to be a more all around lover. That way he could fuck her in all of her holes...Rich
Poorly written garbage. Jeff finds out and at 6'5" he just crushes her whoring skull like a ripe mushmellon.
Story is not erotic, she will lose her husband and family and for what. She has a problem, mental not physical and with out help she will self destruct, you don't solve her issues by fucking around just make them worse. This last jilted lover may be the one that brings her down, but someone will.
The worst I've ever read. Go back to flipping burgers, you LOSER.
This was not even a story, for Christ's sake! It was just a choppy description of the nature of a slut. Not erotic! Not interesting! Not a plot! Not a Story!
i now understand the real meaning of "carol".
she of course is larry's wife. such a pity.
some people might call it dry and not detailed enough,
but to me it was nicely paced and even original in its
sober, concise way.
but i do have one question..."jeff and carol"? did i really
understand what that small line meant? i must say, if it
meant what i hope, the story is even better.
About this story. It was so dry, the characters did not feel realistic. The story might have been interesting — that sometimes people are having affairs, not because the lover is so magnificent, but because they are different. But this story lacks any compelling reason to get into its characters.
not you writer, it wasn't a GREAT story, but it wasn't as awful as these morons will have you believe. Keep trying, and as for the first user comment, it is not impossible, lol
Fuck, what ever you do, don't quit your day job. This was the most pathetic story I've ever had the misfortune to waste my time with. Shit, I want the three minutes it took to read this story back!