Carnal Desire Ch. 11-17

"All in due time my sweet. All in due time." The deep voice on the other end sounding calm and unperturbed by my hostility. "But until then, enjoy your night out with the girls." Was the last thing he said as he hung up. I didn't realize how shaken I was until I looked at my hands.

Then the last words he spoke became clear. He knew where I was and who I was with. The thought of him knowing frightened me. I scanned the spacious room in a panic, fearful he might be watching me. I didn't see anyone familiar aside from Keira and Vanessa.

Without thinking I rushed to the bathroom in a daze, unsure of what I was going to do now. As soon as I opened the door, I was all too grateful there was no one else around. I went straight to the last stall. Leaning against the wall, not knowing what to next, all I could do in that moment was let the fear really take hold of me.

Tears blurring my vision as I cried in the stall. My quiet sobs sending a faint echo through the room. Just as I thought I was getting my life back together, he called. Even though I knew in the recesses of my mind, he would attempt to do or say something soon. Drake wasn't the type of guy to lose focus for too long. I let my guard down just for one night and this is the price I had to pay.

The only question that ran through my mind more often than not was, why did it have to be me? He could have picked any other girl to single out, why me? Not that I wished this on my worst enemy. I could just never really wrap my mind around it. I never thought I was someone special. I didn't do anything out of the ordinary.

As the tears continued to fall, I heard the bathroom door crash open, scaring me. What if he's here? What if he's come to finish what he started? I heard heavy footsteps on the tiled floor, the sound of a stall door being opened. The footsteps moved to the next one, I stood frozen knowing there was nothing I could do once he found me.

Was this it? Was this the beginning of the end for me? Had Drake finally decided to act on whatever impulse he had? Whatever those intentions were, frightened me more than anything. The footsteps were getting closer, I hadn't realized how heavy my breathing had become. As soon as then the door to my stall opened my breath got caught in my throat as I thought the worst. This was the end. I closed my eyes not wanting to see it coming.

Nothing came. Just the distorted music from the other side of the wall. Gathering the courage to open my eyes, I didn't know whether to be cry, be angry or be happy with the person standing in the doorway. I did the only possible thing that I knew would make me happy. I immediately wrapped my arms around her and cried.

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Chapter Seventeen

Friday April 16th

JORDAN

This is the last place I wanted to be tonight. I honestly can't explain how I let Kennedy talk me into this. It's not like I haven't been too loud places like this, I just wasn't in the mood to be around people who were going to be loud and obnoxious. Possibly extra handsy, reeking of alcohol and more often than not, making poor life choices. Personally, I much preferred being at home reading a good book.

I guess it shouldn't surprise me either, Kennedy's always been able to talk me into doing things I normally wouldn't do on my own. Only a selected few have been able to accomplish such a feat. I only gave in because Kennedy gave me a pouty face that I've never been able to resist no matter how much I tried. She knew it would work and it did.

She's been a little more needy since she took the role as my girlfriend. I can't complain though, it's been fun having her around. Everyone at school was surprised that we're together, Cole more so than anyone else. Which is funny since he was the main one to tease us about it and now that we are, he's at a loss for words.

Still, even though things with me and my best friend have been going good, one thing hasn't changed. There's still a huge hole in my heart where Sydney once occupied. I hated having to see the hurt in her eyes when she happened to see Kennedy and I kissing last week. This is the price we have to pay to try and get out of this fucked up situation.

Kennedy was right when she said she knew where my heart truly lies. Her understanding that is what I appreciate the most about her. My best friend being the one to suggest we take things slow. Which has gained the beautiful blond another level of respect from me. Deep down, she and I both know if given the opportunity I would go to Sydney in a heartbeat. And if that happened, I'm not sure our friendship could survive it.

So, I decided to make the most of what her and I have and treat her with the respect and love she deserves. Which is why I find myself standing in front of one of the hottest clubs in town, opening the door for my girlfriend.

Like I've said before, any man or woman would be lucky to have a bombshell for a girlfriend such as Kennedy. Tonight, I just happened to be the lucky one to have her on my arm for the night. She was every bit the beautiful young woman dressed in a pleated mini skirt, white halter top and white three-inch-high heel Jimmy Choo's. Her blond locks pulled up into a high messy bun with white pearls pinning her beautiful tendrils into place.

Compared to her I felt like I looked mediocre at best, wearing white Dolce&Gabbana straight leg trousers with baby blue graffiti print, along with a matching white Dolce&Gabbana cotton t-shirt with multi-colored graffiti print. Not to mention my all white D&G Portofino Sneakers. Although I have to admit, I felt a little refreshed getting a haircut. Now my annoying stray strands of hair won't get in my face as much as it used to.

Holding out my hand for Kennedy to take, she gets out with added grace and poise. I toss my keys to the valet then place a monetary tip in his palm. He smiles at me and gets in the car and drives off. Kennedy and I approach the bouncer at the door, once again I offer the monetary tip and he lets us through.

I let out a sigh of slight annoyance that I'm back in a setting such as this. My memory of the last few times I stepped foot in a club came to me. My reluctance isn't about just dealing with drunk people. If I'm being honest, I don't really have the best track record when it comes to the party scene. Somehow drama ensues and I'm usually the one in the middle of it. Which is a big part of the reason why I've tried so hard to give up this phase.

Somehow these places to seem to differ too much. The only difference is the venue and the people. The DJ's playing a new hip-hop track and doing his job at hyping up the crowd. There are a few people who are feeling the effects of the alcohol while out on the dance floor. The atmosphere doesn't surprise me with it being a weekend and all.

Kennedy and I make our way to the bar and order our drinks. I have a feeling like I'm the one who's going to be driving home so I make sure to order a Corona with a lime. Something light yet tasteful. With our drinks in hand, Kennedy pulls me out onto the dance floor where she begins to sway her hips to the music, every so often grinding herself against me.

We continue to dance for at least four more songs, and I have to say, after my first drink I'm beginning to loosen up a little and enjoy myself. I decided then and there I deserved to have a little fun. I did more studying than I can ever recall and now that finals were over, I could use the much-needed break.

The DJ decided to slow things down a bit, thankful for the short reprieve. I held Kennedy in my arms, enjoying the comfortable warmth of my best friend. I was just about to say something to Kennedy when I felt the magnetic pull to look towards the door. That's when I seen her. Dressed in a beautiful black dress that could never fully do her curvaceous body justice, her silky dark brown hair framing her delicate features adding to the mystique, looking every bit the gorgeous Egyptian goddess.

Her eyes roaming the club, I watched in awe as her long-tanned legs guided her to the bar. Flashes of the many times I've had the pleasure of those same smooth legs wrapped around my waist. My body still ached to be with her, yearned to touch her, to feel her against me. I should probably feel guilty for having such thoughts with Kennedy in my arms. But I couldn't bring myself to feel any type of remorse.

Kennedy was right, my heart belonged to Sydney. It will always belong to her. The ache in my chest growing deeper with the knowledge that I can't have her. Of course, life would have to be so unfair that the one person I love wholeheartedly is the one person whom I'm not allowed to be with. On more levels than one, I might add.

If Sydney hadn't have turned to the woman standing next to her, I wouldn't have noticed the beautiful Latina standing close to Sydney. It took a moment for me to recognize her as the woman I saw at Sydney's house the day after I came home. Who I now know was her college roommate Keira. When Sydney told me who the woman was in one of later discussions, I felt relieved knowing I hadn't been replaced. Back then I should have known Sydney wouldn't be quick to forget about me. Yet here I was, doing the one thing I feared she would do to me.

Feelings of guilt and remorse couldn't even begin to describe the anguish I felt. But when it came down to it, this is the role I had to play in life's big game of inequitable grand scheme. Some may think I'm merely trying to find an excuse to justify my actions, but the way I see it, it was the only way we could both move forward.

Caught in my thoughts, Kennedy put a finger against my chin and gently forced me to look at her. "What's wrong Jay?" She inquired, her eyes twinkling in the dim light, searching for an answer in my own.

"Just worried. You know?" I confessed feeling a little apprehensive.

"Yeah, I am too." She admitted, at least I wasn't feeling alone. "But I promise, everything will work out." Her sense of bravado seeming to mask something lying underneath as she continued to search my eyes.

"It has to KD. I'll never forgive myself if it doesn't" I didn't know if I was trying to convince her or myself at this point.

"Then we will find a way." Kennedy's reassuring smile made me feel warm and secure that we were doing the right thing. "I've got your back Jordan. Trust me." Her arms tightened around me as she pulled me in closer, planting a chaste kiss on my right cheek.

"Of course, I trust you." I said pulling in my best friend, squeezing her toned lithe body into a short bear hug.

As I released Kennedy I searched for Sydney in the crowd. A sense of panic began to fill me until I caught sight of her and Keira sitting at a high-top table near the dance floor. Not wanting Sydney to see us, I maneuvered Kennedy closer to the corner where the DJ booth stood. Allowing Sydney to still be in my line of sight.

Kennedy and I danced to a few more songs, although I was finding it hard to concentrate on having a good time with my best friend. Stealing glances at Sydney's table I noticed Ms. Santiago our school principal had joined them. All three beautiful women were laughing and smiling, Sydney looking genuinely happy. I couldn't help but to feel happy for her, knowing the worries she's facing. She deserves to have a carefree night out.

I was starting to get tired from all of the dancing, thirst was becoming a major factor as well. I snuck another glance at Sydney's table as a new upbeat song began to play. Kennedy caught me and followed my line of sight. We both watched as Keira and Ms. Santiago came out to the dance floor. We gave each other a look knowing we needed to avoid our school principal.

Looking back over towards Sydney, she was now looking around frantically, searching for something or someone in the crowd of people. I could take a wild guess as to who that person was. My head snapped back to Kennedy who gave me a knowing grin. "I'll go get us something to drink. Go. I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?" I asked grabbing her shoulders. She nodded her head yes.

"Just go Jordan." She replied darting her eyes in Sydney's direction.

"Thanks KD." I said hurriedly and gave her a brief kiss on her cheek.

I tried to move through the crowd as fast as I could while keeping my eyes on Sydney. Earlier I had been glad the crowd was large enough to block Sydney's view from us, now it had become a hindrance, an annoyance. I caught a glimpse of Sydney rushing into the bathroom as I was finally able to vacate the dance floor.

In a rush I opened the door, sending it crashing into the wall. Stepping into the room, I took a little bit of time to check the stalls. I didn't want to intrude if someone was using one of them. Opening each one cautiously, my heart racing as I came to the last one. Steadily opening it, not wanting to frighten Sydney even more.

As I peered into the stall, my heart sank at the sight before me. Sydney was standing, huddled in the corner with her eyes closed tight. All I could do was stand in the small doorway and observe the woman before me. Trying to find the courage to force my legs to move. Every part of me wanted to go to her, but I couldn't. I didn't out of fear of how she would react to me being there. Minutes could have passed, and I wouldn't have known, and I didn't care. I would take any alone time I could get at this point.

Even in a disheveled state she was still beautiful. Mentally shaking my head of such thoughts, now was not the time to be thinking about stuff like that. Then Sydney cautiously opened her eyes, emerald orbs widening in surprise with flashes of anger, hurt and then relief passed through in a split second. With the realization it was me, she did the last thing I thought she would do. She ran into my arms.

I held her tight, never wanting to let her go. Breathing in her sweet scent of lavender and cinnamon. She smelled of home. It made me miss our short live time together, coming home every day to the woman I love. A place I was desperately wanting to be. No dream could possibly be as wonderful to me than to hold her in my arms every day for the rest of my life.

But the reality came crashing down, if we were to be seen in here together it would be disastrous. Being in here with her was potentially dangerous towards her safety. Mine too.

In this moment, I didn't care. As selfish as it sounds, she is worth the risk. Me following her in here I was throwing caution to the wind. Why stop now? She needed someone, even if that someone was me.

Carefully guiding her further into the stall, making sure to lock it so as not to be bothered. Holding her close for as long as I can, reveling in this short period of time fate has granted us, I was going to be grateful for it.

Her quiet sobs were muffled by my shirt as I did what little I could to console her. I gently pulled away from her in order to further examine Sydney's disheveled state. As expected, her eyes were faintly red and puffy. Being worried for her is putting how I felt mildly. I had to know what brought this on. "What happened Syd?"

Sniffling she answered. "I got a call from Drake." Her answer didn't surprise me. Her frantic behavior gave that much away.

"What did he say?"

Sydney took a moment to gather what resolve she could. Appearing to recall what happened just moments prior. "He just asked if I forgot about him. Told me he was happy that me and you are no longer together." I could feel my anger coming to the surface, hearing what he said made me want to find the bastard even more so I could put an end to this once and for all. In order to calm my seething rage, I inhaled deeply. I needed to be here for Sydney.

By the sound in her voice, she was just as upset as I was, but she continued. "I asked him what he wanted and all he said was in due time." She scoffed. "Then he said he hoped I was having fun night out with the girls."

My immediate reaction after hearing the last of it was to go looking for him. I slipped out of Sydney's hold, turning to go and search for the asshole. Sydney grabbed my arm, stopping me before I could reach the door. "Don't go." She begged, giving me a pleading look. "Please stay here with me. Just for a minute." I couldn't find it in my heart to say no.

"I'll stay as long as you need to me to." I said as I instinctively snaked my arms around her waist. The familiarity of her embrace made me want to lose myself in this moment. My heart set afire with this simple gesture. "I've missed you so much Syd." I was caught in the moment of knowing this is where I belonged.

Sydney pressed her body up against mine once the words passed my lips. "I've missed you too. I love you, Jordan." She burrowed her face into my neck.

"I love you too Syd. I wish it didn't have to be this way." I didn't know how I was going to be able to walk away from her after this.

"Me too." She sighed out of frustration.

"I'm working on figuring things out. I promise baby, it will all be over soon." I needed her to know I was still trying a way out of this. Reassuring her just as much as myself.

She jerked away from me, "Don't anything stupid Jordan." Her eyes boring into me, I pulled her into me, and I could feel her body trembling. She pulled away just enough to look up. "Promise me Jordan, you'll be safe." Her emerald orbs peering into mine as if she were looking into my very soul.

"You know I will. It's only a matter of time. Trust me." My eyes peering back at her with conviction.

"I trust you. Just be careful. I don't know what I would do if anything happened to you." Sydney's eyes darted back and forth, studying my expression. Tears shimmered within her orbs as she appeared to think of something happening to me.

The last thing I needed was for her to worry even more. "Hey, look at me." Both of my hands carefully touching either side of her face, wanting her to see the confidence I possessed. "I would do anything for you. You're the only one that matters to me." Pouring my heart out to her because she's the only one that's ever had the power to make me feel this way. "You own my heart Sydney. This whole time, you've always had my heart." With a tear escaping her eye as her mouth curved into a smile. I wiped the tear with my thumb.

"And Kennedy?" She scowled.

"You know exactly what she is to me."

"Just making sure." She remarked as she lightly kissed my neck. An area she knows is erogenous, sending the tingles through my body. "I know what I'm about to say goes against all reasoning and logic." She huskily whispered in my ear, while she tenderly lifted up the back of my shirt and caressed my back. Everywhere she touched left warm burning embers in their wake. "But could you possibly make me forget, just this once?"

Abruptly pulling back to study the eyes of my Egyptian goddess, uncertain if I heard her correctly. Her soft delicate hands now touching my sides. "Are you sure that's what you want Syd?" I examined her exquisite features for any sign of doubt and found none. She nodded her head yes as her hands grazed along to my toned stomach, feeling the indention of each muscle. Sydney's fingers ascending to the middle of my chest then back down again.

My hands slowly going under her black dress, feeling her smooth toned skin while she undid my belt buckle. I curled my fingers into the band of her lace panties. Causing Sydney to indulgently bite my lower lip, I moaned surprised at the reaction it got out of me. I then gradually removed her panties, once she stepped out of them, I claimed my prize by putting them in my pocket.

This was supposed to be a quick onetime thing, and it hurt knowing this could be the last time I ever got the chance to be with her. I couldn't let it pass me by, without a second thought I lifted her dress I could feel the heat of her core emanating from her, I inhaled her essence as I kneeled before my Egyptian goddess. I wasn't going to deny either of us this pleasure.